The stars are talking to me
Prompt: 36
Pairing: Guan Ping/Jiang Wei (implicit Zhuge Liang/Jiang Wei)
Rating: K
If there was one thing that Jiang Wei liked the most on spring nights, aside from reading and studying by the breeze of the fresh nights was gazing at the stars. Master Zhuge Liang taught him a lot about stars, constellations and stuff like that. Lady Yue Ying always told him that every change in the sky meant something different. Both said that every star, every comet, every cloud would to give out a different message each time he saw them. And for someone who had good eyes, the message would always be clear.
At first, he had some difficulties. All the nights seemed to look exactly the same. Great, stars. They're small, white little dots in a black background, so what?
However, little by little, he started to notice the small differences on their location, on the intensity of their light. Sometimes, he saw a shooting star that seemed to connect one star to another. Some stars faded away. On the following day, something would happen accordingly. One general had died. Someone had been betrayed. An ambush had been set somewhere.
The sky didn't indicate only bad things or things related to warfare, though. Sometimes, one star started to shine more brightly. Other times, they seemed to be arranged in such a way that he could see forms in them. Dragons. Tigers. Snakes. Sparrows. And in the next day, he would receive the news that someone was born or that a dear person had gotten better from sickness. Things like that.
Little by little, like a child learning how to walk, Jiang Wei learned to recognize this signs of the stars and interpret them accordingly. Soon enough, even for smallest events he recurred to the stars. Not always he would get the answer he wanted, but... oh well, that's how life worked. He also avoided to put nasty ideas in his mind, like "when will be my dying day?" or things like that. It was like a hobby.
In the previous night, his master was looking at the stars with him. He mentioned that Jiang Wei "looked troubled" and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. At this point, the apprentice avoided Liang's eyes, because he knew that just by looking at him, his master would guess it in no time. Alas, Wei somehow felt that his master already knew what his problem was and that already felt bad enough. But Zhuge Liang really didn't seem to mind.
...in fact, he seemed amused.
As for the young apprentice, all that was not amusing. Not at all.
"So... my star is such a small one. I didn't notice that it was kinda red.", he said to himself that night. By the way, what did that mean? Not too long ago, Lady Yue Ying mentioned something about a torn heart.
A red star means that the one born under its protection had a torn heart. Or a torn path. Was that it?
Beside his star, he could see a bright one, shining almost as much as the moon.
"That's my master's star.", he thought.
On the other side, as if approaching timidly, a star at the same size of his shone shyly, almost fading away.
"Huh? That's the star of someone whose destiny is sealed.", he regarded. Then, after two or three minutes of reflections, a twisting agony overcame his feelings.
"...sealed destiny, huh?", he thought, with bitter sadness.
A little while after that, he heard footsteps getting near. It was Guan Ping.
"Oh, regent Jiang Wei. I beg your pardon, I didn't think I would find you here, I'll go somewhere else..."
"NO! I mean, no, not at all, please don't mind me, I was just taking some fresh air." Jiang Wei replied, looking away so that Guan Ping wouldn't notice his face blushing.
"Thank you.", said Guan Ping. He approached, smiling. "It's a beautiful night, I thought it would be a waste to miss this starry night."
"Y-yeah, it would.".
Now Jiang Wei became really upset. Not because Guan Ping was there. In fact, that was kinda... okay. The thing is that his heart was beating really, really fast, to the point of making him afraid that his friend would listen to his heart pounding crazily against his chest. He felt that when his heart was beating like this, he was very likely to say something the he actually wanted to say, but maybe he shouldn't say it, and THAT made him upset.
He also felt like this when Master Zhuge Liang was nearby, but the feeling was kinda different. It felt... much likely a father-to-son relation.
Or maybe he wanted to believe that.
He wouldn't know how to explain.
"A torn heart, huh?"
"Say, Guan Ping..."
"Yes?"
"How's your relation with lord Guan? I mean... how do you feel when he is nearby?"
"Hm..." the lad looked at nowhere in particular. "I guess... I admire him. A lot. I wish I could be strong as he is. I'm very proud of him. And happy that he considers me as his real son."
"I see..."
"Why do you ask? Are you questioning your own feelings towards Master Zhuge Liang?"
"WHAT?" Jiang Wei's face was ruby-red. "NO!! NOT AT ALL! WHATEVER MADE YOU THINK THAT WAY? HAHAHA."
He looked to the other side, forcing out a laughter. Ping smiled.
"Isn't he like a father to you?"
The young strategist looked at him, without knowing what to say. He looked at those big dark brown, sincere eyes and started to think that yes, maybe that's how he felt. His heart paced down as he lost himself in his inner thoughts.
"Yes... maybe that's how I feel. He's... like a father to me." he pondered. "He took me as his apprentice, even though I was from a rival kingdom and taught me lots of things. Like a father would do to a rebel son." Only then, he realized that he was still looking at Guan Ping, even though the youngster was no longer looking back at him.
"But to you" Jiang Wei asked himself, in his own thoughts "...what am I? Do you consider me like your brother? Or as... something else?"
Again, his heart was pounding as hard as the drums of war would be beating in the next days.
"That's funny..." said the son of the Guan Yu, gazing at the sky "There's a star that seems slightly different from all the other ones. The most shiny one can't really hide its sparkle. But... I don't know, it feels kinda sad. It's almost as if that little star was torn between surpassing the one that is sparkling the most... or fading away with the other one right beside it."
"Say, Guan Ping..."
"...yes?"
"...what would you do if you were that star?"
"Me?"
Guan Ping looked at the back of his hands.
"I guess... I would try to shine as much as the star that is sparkling the most. To live my life in the best possible way."
"Would you let that other one just fade away?", Jiang Wei asked looking down, an uneasy feeling in his chest.
"It can't be helped. Every star has its lifespan, other stars won't stop shining because one of them was gone."
"I see..."
The two of them were silent for what may have been seconds, minutes or maybe hours.
"Jiang Wei..." said Guan Ping, breaking the silence.
"Huh?"
"What do you say of playing Go after I come back from He Fei?"
Jiang Wei looked confused. He tried to say something, but words just wouldn't come out of his mouth.
"Father said that after we take Fan Castle and come back to Jingzhou, he'll teach me how to play Go. How about a match after that?"
The strategist was now pale. Without noticing, he gave out a sad smile.
"Sure! I'm not a good player, though..."
"Then it's a promise! After we take Fan Castle, we will have a match! Well... I'll call it a night. See you soon!"
With a smile and a last friendly glance, Guan Ping left the place.
A couple of weeks after that, the small star near Jiang Wei's faded away. He and Guan Ping were never able to play that match.
Eventually, more stars faded away. That little star beside the big one, even though it was always red, went on shining as bright as it could. Maybe to overcome the brightest one. Maybe to remember the smaller one that faded away.
__________
Hm. I can't say I feel completely accomplished with this fic. First of all, it goes completely off story. Guan Ping died long before Jiang Wei joined the Shu army, but for some unknown reason, I like them both as a pairing. Second: it's not as angsty as I wanted it to be. It seems more like a friend-to-friend dialog. Originally I intended to put Guan Ping angsty because Xing Cai would have to marry Liu Shang, but then I think I would completely screw China's History (I mean, more than I already did).
*sigh* You see, this is why I don't really like to write fanfiction. My fics are never really coherent. In this one in special, I wasn't able to express my own feelings properly. I really feel like I'm missing something.
Oh, well. Maybe I'll try something else later.
Pairing: Guan Ping/Jiang Wei (implicit Zhuge Liang/Jiang Wei)
Rating: K
If there was one thing that Jiang Wei liked the most on spring nights, aside from reading and studying by the breeze of the fresh nights was gazing at the stars. Master Zhuge Liang taught him a lot about stars, constellations and stuff like that. Lady Yue Ying always told him that every change in the sky meant something different. Both said that every star, every comet, every cloud would to give out a different message each time he saw them. And for someone who had good eyes, the message would always be clear.
At first, he had some difficulties. All the nights seemed to look exactly the same. Great, stars. They're small, white little dots in a black background, so what?
However, little by little, he started to notice the small differences on their location, on the intensity of their light. Sometimes, he saw a shooting star that seemed to connect one star to another. Some stars faded away. On the following day, something would happen accordingly. One general had died. Someone had been betrayed. An ambush had been set somewhere.
The sky didn't indicate only bad things or things related to warfare, though. Sometimes, one star started to shine more brightly. Other times, they seemed to be arranged in such a way that he could see forms in them. Dragons. Tigers. Snakes. Sparrows. And in the next day, he would receive the news that someone was born or that a dear person had gotten better from sickness. Things like that.
Little by little, like a child learning how to walk, Jiang Wei learned to recognize this signs of the stars and interpret them accordingly. Soon enough, even for smallest events he recurred to the stars. Not always he would get the answer he wanted, but... oh well, that's how life worked. He also avoided to put nasty ideas in his mind, like "when will be my dying day?" or things like that. It was like a hobby.
In the previous night, his master was looking at the stars with him. He mentioned that Jiang Wei "looked troubled" and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. At this point, the apprentice avoided Liang's eyes, because he knew that just by looking at him, his master would guess it in no time. Alas, Wei somehow felt that his master already knew what his problem was and that already felt bad enough. But Zhuge Liang really didn't seem to mind.
...in fact, he seemed amused.
As for the young apprentice, all that was not amusing. Not at all.
"So... my star is such a small one. I didn't notice that it was kinda red.", he said to himself that night. By the way, what did that mean? Not too long ago, Lady Yue Ying mentioned something about a torn heart.
A red star means that the one born under its protection had a torn heart. Or a torn path. Was that it?
Beside his star, he could see a bright one, shining almost as much as the moon.
"That's my master's star.", he thought.
On the other side, as if approaching timidly, a star at the same size of his shone shyly, almost fading away.
"Huh? That's the star of someone whose destiny is sealed.", he regarded. Then, after two or three minutes of reflections, a twisting agony overcame his feelings.
"...sealed destiny, huh?", he thought, with bitter sadness.
A little while after that, he heard footsteps getting near. It was Guan Ping.
"Oh, regent Jiang Wei. I beg your pardon, I didn't think I would find you here, I'll go somewhere else..."
"NO! I mean, no, not at all, please don't mind me, I was just taking some fresh air." Jiang Wei replied, looking away so that Guan Ping wouldn't notice his face blushing.
"Thank you.", said Guan Ping. He approached, smiling. "It's a beautiful night, I thought it would be a waste to miss this starry night."
"Y-yeah, it would.".
Now Jiang Wei became really upset. Not because Guan Ping was there. In fact, that was kinda... okay. The thing is that his heart was beating really, really fast, to the point of making him afraid that his friend would listen to his heart pounding crazily against his chest. He felt that when his heart was beating like this, he was very likely to say something the he actually wanted to say, but maybe he shouldn't say it, and THAT made him upset.
He also felt like this when Master Zhuge Liang was nearby, but the feeling was kinda different. It felt... much likely a father-to-son relation.
Or maybe he wanted to believe that.
He wouldn't know how to explain.
"A torn heart, huh?"
"Say, Guan Ping..."
"Yes?"
"How's your relation with lord Guan? I mean... how do you feel when he is nearby?"
"Hm..." the lad looked at nowhere in particular. "I guess... I admire him. A lot. I wish I could be strong as he is. I'm very proud of him. And happy that he considers me as his real son."
"I see..."
"Why do you ask? Are you questioning your own feelings towards Master Zhuge Liang?"
"WHAT?" Jiang Wei's face was ruby-red. "NO!! NOT AT ALL! WHATEVER MADE YOU THINK THAT WAY? HAHAHA."
He looked to the other side, forcing out a laughter. Ping smiled.
"Isn't he like a father to you?"
The young strategist looked at him, without knowing what to say. He looked at those big dark brown, sincere eyes and started to think that yes, maybe that's how he felt. His heart paced down as he lost himself in his inner thoughts.
"Yes... maybe that's how I feel. He's... like a father to me." he pondered. "He took me as his apprentice, even though I was from a rival kingdom and taught me lots of things. Like a father would do to a rebel son." Only then, he realized that he was still looking at Guan Ping, even though the youngster was no longer looking back at him.
"But to you" Jiang Wei asked himself, in his own thoughts "...what am I? Do you consider me like your brother? Or as... something else?"
Again, his heart was pounding as hard as the drums of war would be beating in the next days.
"That's funny..." said the son of the Guan Yu, gazing at the sky "There's a star that seems slightly different from all the other ones. The most shiny one can't really hide its sparkle. But... I don't know, it feels kinda sad. It's almost as if that little star was torn between surpassing the one that is sparkling the most... or fading away with the other one right beside it."
"Say, Guan Ping..."
"...yes?"
"...what would you do if you were that star?"
"Me?"
Guan Ping looked at the back of his hands.
"I guess... I would try to shine as much as the star that is sparkling the most. To live my life in the best possible way."
"Would you let that other one just fade away?", Jiang Wei asked looking down, an uneasy feeling in his chest.
"It can't be helped. Every star has its lifespan, other stars won't stop shining because one of them was gone."
"I see..."
The two of them were silent for what may have been seconds, minutes or maybe hours.
"Jiang Wei..." said Guan Ping, breaking the silence.
"Huh?"
"What do you say of playing Go after I come back from He Fei?"
Jiang Wei looked confused. He tried to say something, but words just wouldn't come out of his mouth.
"Father said that after we take Fan Castle and come back to Jingzhou, he'll teach me how to play Go. How about a match after that?"
The strategist was now pale. Without noticing, he gave out a sad smile.
"Sure! I'm not a good player, though..."
"Then it's a promise! After we take Fan Castle, we will have a match! Well... I'll call it a night. See you soon!"
With a smile and a last friendly glance, Guan Ping left the place.
A couple of weeks after that, the small star near Jiang Wei's faded away. He and Guan Ping were never able to play that match.
Eventually, more stars faded away. That little star beside the big one, even though it was always red, went on shining as bright as it could. Maybe to overcome the brightest one. Maybe to remember the smaller one that faded away.
__________
Hm. I can't say I feel completely accomplished with this fic. First of all, it goes completely off story. Guan Ping died long before Jiang Wei joined the Shu army, but for some unknown reason, I like them both as a pairing. Second: it's not as angsty as I wanted it to be. It seems more like a friend-to-friend dialog. Originally I intended to put Guan Ping angsty because Xing Cai would have to marry Liu Shang, but then I think I would completely screw China's History (I mean, more than I already did).
*sigh* You see, this is why I don't really like to write fanfiction. My fics are never really coherent. In this one in special, I wasn't able to express my own feelings properly. I really feel like I'm missing something.
Oh, well. Maybe I'll try something else later.