Fic: Broken Chains 9/?
Title: Broken chains Part 9/?
Author: chickinwhite
Pairing: Kahlan/Cara
Rating: PG 17
Word account: ~5850
Summary: This adventure starts a good time after tears. It is about old scars and new bonds,
about friends and foes, about confidence and betraying,
Disclaimer: Nothing of LotS belongs to me (such a pity!) - no business, just fan-fun
AN: YAY!! I´m SO very happy that jolo_65 now joins and is doing a fantastic job as my BETA!! You are great, honey! thousand thanks for
your help - and for all the motivation !!
AN2: Let´s say I´m becoming a little bold: I have tried to create a little legend.... and am so curious how you´ll like it... :)
- I´m sorry it took so long; but I had a nice lil break in france... I hope the next will be up sooner
Part 1; Part 2; Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8
Kahlan dismounted and turned, waiting for Cara. The place she had chosen offered a light carpet of thick grass and a good view over the village at their feet. The Mord Sith jumped to the ground with her jaw set and an angry glower in her narrowed eyes, blurting out:
“Why did you do that?”
Kahlan´s eyebrows arched in surprise.
“Would you have preferred to stay in the village, where everyone is eager to convince us of their regret? That would have meant an endless evening, discussing and soothing their concerns about having offended us. I didn´t know you’d come to like basking in crowds.”
“That is not what I meant.”
“Why then, what did you mean?”
Cara looked at her, her eyes beaming rebelliously.
“You put yourself between me and their weapons! They were close to striking!”
“But they didn´t.”
“Why did you do that?”
The Confessor searched her angry countenance and their eyes locked as she grabbed her arm.
“Because I love you, you stubborn creature! And I will neither allow you to risk your life in a needless skirmish, nor will I allow any of my people to insult you.”
For a stunned moment Cara met her with disbelief, struck by the meaning of her words; but nonetheless, not yet willing to give in, she growled crabbily.
“They are simple peasants; I would have taught them a lesson of respect in no time at all.”
The corner of her lips twitched amused at Cara´s stubborn objection.
“They are simple peasants and they are good people!” The blonde snorted huffishly. “But they were hell-bent on defending their families. And they were scared of you!” She didn´t miss the confident grin that crossed the blonde´s face briefly, before pursing her lips; a hint of tribute sneaked into her tone as she growled.
“...You were not so bad either...”
Kahlan couldn´t help but chuckle. She leaned in for a brief kiss.
“Thank you!”
Cara grunted.
“Zedd would have hated you for rejecting a warm meal and some nice beverages.”
Kahlan sighed and nodded regretfully. The blonde was right; her own stomach had been growling in anticipation of a good meal.
They started to prepare their camp for the night and soon a small fire crackled and their bedrolls looked enticingly comfortable, already arranged close to the fire, Kahlan´s in front, protectively flanked by Cara´s from behind. The Confessor sat at the fire, rummaging through their bags for their food leftovers; the dying sun dipped in the sky with lights of red and orange glowing when unsure footsteps cracked through the bushes. In a blink Cara was on her feet, agiels unsheathed. Eager to not startle them a feminine voice called out cautiously.
“Mother Confessor? Please excuse the disturbance. I´ve come to bring you some food...”
From the shadows of the trees the robust wife of Jacob stumbled into their sight, acknowledged by a glorious eye-roll of the Mord Sith, who turned and gave Kahlan a meaningful glance.
The brunette stood slowly and gestured for the woman to come closer. A warm smile had settled on her face.
“What is your name, child?”
“Roseanne, Mother Confessor. But everyone calls me Rose.” A shy smile brightened her round face as she approached, carefully avoiding Cara´s dark stare. In her hands she held a big basket, filled with bowls and mugs, seductive scents wafting to them.
“Thank you, Rose.” Kahlan granted her a heartwarming smile. “This is very generous of you.”
“The whole village helped in preparing a nice meal, Mother Confessor. And Jacob has donated a mug of his best wine.” She blinked sheepishly. “He is a good man. They all are. You should know that we are much better hosts than your first impression has proven to be.” She waved a hand towards the village. “We would really like to invite you...”
Kahlan shook her head in regret.
“No, Rose. We appreciate your endeavors. But my words were final. Though you may tell your friends the Mother Confessor does not bear them a grudge.”
Rose nodded sadly.
“Then I wish you a good night. You do not have to worry; all our men are standing watch at the foot of the hill.” She grinned slightly. “Be sure, none of them will find sleep tonight.” A small gloating grin crossed her face as she turned and walked back to her village.
Kahlan shot her Mord Sith a triumphant glare, pointing to the basket.
“See? Good people!”
Cara´s epic eye-roll made her laugh.
******
“We will have to leave early tomorrow. I think we should rest as the others do.”
Richard tried to avoid his grandfather´s scrutiny.
“I know. But we should talk, Richard.”
“Why, I thought we were clear, Zedd:
We will divide; Verna and you are going to Comorra to inform Kahlan and Cara while I am riding directly to Aydindril and warn Dennee. Berdine and Raina will come with me, as will a small troop of my men. As soon as you reach Kahlan you´ll be safe with her troop too. And D´Hara is under the protection of my army. Everything will be fine. Darken has no chance to surprise us.”
“That is the plan. And I am sure it makes sense.
But what I meant was the fact that Kahlan refused coming with me to meet you…”
Richard shot him a warning glance. His face had frozen.
“I do not want to talk about it, Zedd.”
“I don´t care if you like it, Richard.” Zedd snapped. “I just want to know why you did what you did!” The old wizard tried to keep his voice calm, but seeing his grandson scowl made him angry.
“What has happened to the young man who believed in everybody´s right to live his own life? How could you treat them like that? You´ve always pretended to love her! More than your own life!
But in fact, with what you did to her you´ve almost destroyed her!?!”
Richard stared at him with narrowed eyes.
“She´s told you?”
“Everything.”
The younger man huffed and asked with sheepish puppy-dog eyes.
“How are they, Zedd? Have they found a way to get over it? Is she happy to have Cara at her side?”
Zedd´s eyes shadowed briefly.
“Things were not easy for both of them. But lately they seemed to have gotten a little closer. Until…”
Richard stared questioningly.
“Last night something must have happened between them; and they finally learned the truth of your betrayal.” Zedd shook his head, still feeling utterly aghast. “I have never seen Kahlan in such a fury. She was frantic. If not for Cara, she would have hurt even me in her wrath.”
He watched Richard grinding his teeth and dropping his gaze to the floor. He went to his chair and sat down heavily.
“She will never want to see me again…” he murmured under his breath.
“That might well be.” Zedd´s voice held more sarcasm than he had intended. “But is it a wonder? You destroyed every bit of affection she ever felt for you! I can´t believe that you acted so deceitfully and cheated them.”
He took seat beside his grandson and sighed deeply.
“Richard, help me to understand: why did you do this?”
When he looked up, Richard´s face was tired, his voice bitter.
“I had never intended to go that far. Really, Zedd, you must believe me. I love Kahlan, I always did! And Cara was my friend. I will never forget that she saved my ass a hundred times.
But then... I´ve never felt like that before! Two years ago...
When we were on our way to Aydindril, I noticed that something was wrong with Kahlan. I just couldn´t name it, but I felt she was retreating from me.
One night, it was the second night before we reached the Confessor´s Palace, I woke up and found her place abandoned. I was worried and sneaked after her. And then I found her sitting by Cara. She cried. And...,” he snorted bitterly, “Cara, our hard and emotionless Mord Sith, the one who had always played hard to get; she pulled her into a hug; she stroked her hair! She whispered to her until she had calmed down. And then…” his lips pressed briefly into a thin line, his hands balled into fists before he regained control.
“Kahlan kissed her! Not the kind of a gentle kiss on her cheek as I had seen before. I first thought Cara would flinch angrily. But no, far from it! She answered her kiss… she leaned in...” Richard´s cheeks were a dark crimson, the picture in his mind still stirring his fury.
“Zedd, she touched Kahlan! In ways I had never been allowed to touch her…They were so close together...” Richards face had hardened. He looked into his grandfather´s eyes as if expecting him to agree.
“I was shocked. I did not want to believe my either my eyes nor my ears. When I finally managed to back away, I went into the woods and let my wrath guide me. I did not return to camp until I felt controlled enough to see them without beating them.
The following night things went nearly the same. Then we arrived in Aydindril. Everyone was tired and went to sleep. But I couldn´t. I was agitated, hurt and furious!
I sat with Dennee, we were drinking too much and at last I told her what I had witnessed.
Dennee was shocked too, but she was also furious. She said she would not allow Cara to stay another minute longer in her Palace. She said Kahlan had to be freed from her destructive influence. She said it was my duty to do something. And that it was just a phase, that Kahlan had just made a mistake, which she would soon recognize if only the Mord Sith would vanish.
And so we planned to tell them stories to make Cara leave and Kahlan to forget her.” His voice became earnest, as if trying to make Zedd see the necessity of their acting then. The wizard stared disapprovingly, not believing how naïve Richard had been.
“Did you really believe she would simply return into your arms after losing her love? While believing she´d been abandoned??”
“We were sure, that once Cara had left, Kahlan would come to her senses.
But…time went by and she didn´t…” He looked at the wizard, searching for his understanding.
“I really love her, Zedd. I thought I did the right thing! I wanted to protect her! I was sure Cara would have hurt her sooner or later!
Zedd! You know her: how can a Mord Sith ever love someone at all?”
“So why didn´t you tell her the truth when you saw her... breaking?” Zedd asked dismayed.
“I tried, Zedd. Twice. But Dennee said it would be wrong. That she knew her sister. And she was right after all.
And then... she became pregnant...” His eyes seared as he locked them with Zedd´s pale blue, his left palm hit his chest twice. “It was my child she carried to term. If I would have told her then, I knew she would reject me. I would never see my child growing up...”
Zedd´s face displayed an odd mixture of disgust and compassion. He breathed heavily, feeling a weight on his shoulders he felt too old to carry. Richard´s voice had lowered, until it was only a murmur.
“When I went to the People´s Palace I was already determined to tell Cara the truth. But she had changed. She was hard and distant; even more Mord Sith than ever before, at least since I had first met her. I couldn´t trust her reaction, so I returned without telling her.
At last it took me a few months more and all my strength to decide to leave and bring Cara back to her. I hoped they would find a way to one another without my having to tell.” He looked up again, his gaze teary and forlorn. He only shrugged helplessly as words failed him.
Zedd eyed him pensively. What he saw wasn´t the proud ruler of D´Hara, not the Seeker of Truth.
He saw a young fool, a love-sick young man in despair. It gripped at his heart to see his grandson like that, knowing he had made an unforgivable mistake. But he also saw Kahlan and Cara in his mind. He saw Kahlan, not being herself for years with her soul ripped apart, and he faintly imagined Cara hanging in chains...
They sat in silence for a long time. Each of them caught by their thoughts. Finally Zedd shook his head in resignation. Ponderously the old wizard came to his feet. He patted Richard´s arm briefly and sighed exhaustedly.
“It will be a hard day tomorrow. We should go and rest.” He sounded tired.
Richard looked up, his voice raspy.
“Zedd?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think they will ever forgive me?”
“I… don´t know, son.”
Richard huffed, nodding briefly. His eyes bored into the wizard´s, half-plea and half-resignation.
“Will you?”
Zedd looked at him with deep sorrow.
“I am honestly disappointed in you, Richard. Kahlan is like a daughter to me; you damned her to suffer more pain than your worst foe would deserve. And Cara... I have no words for what you did to her.
But, you are my grandson; and I love you.” He shrugged helplessly. “I can´t help but probably always forgive you.”
********
The Confessor raised a brow while she reread the fresh note in her journey book. She had sensed it the moment she had entered her working chamber. Maybe it had been the faint odor of sweat and blood that emanated the thick pages that had drawn her attention.
Dennee,
We are en route to Aydindril. Can´t tell you details right now. Please inform the council that we are asking for a gathering. Make all necessary preparations for Aydindril´s safety. Set the troops on alert. We will arrive in approximately four days.
Don´t trust anyone!
Take care, Richard
Her eyes swept over the letters again. A faint smile curled her lips.
So you´re coming home Richard... That´s good!
I missed you...
*********
Cara was far from feeling calm. She paced nervously around their small fire, searching constantly for the faint flickers of fires below them.
They had enjoyed a fabulous dinner; a real banquet compared to the last day’s menus. But she wasn´t ready to rest. She didn´t trust the simple peasants who stood watch around the hill. And she felt utterly uncomfortable at their fire. Kahlan had become awkwardly quiet, staring into the flames; her third cup of wine emptied already. Cara had the faint feeling that the Confessor´s mood was her fault; but she did not know how to break the silence. So finally she announced she would go, check the posts. Kahlan kept staring into the flames and hummed absently. The blonde huffed and rushed into the wood.
The first fire she sneaked on was held by five men. One of them shouted a warning long before he got sight of her. All of them were to their feet in a blink, their faces grim, their hands holding ax´s and swords. Cara stepped into the light with a scowl. She did not say a word, just eyed them fiercely. They stood straight, staring back with defiantly raised chins, shifting uncomfortably but not wavering, until she nodded satisfied and retreated into the shadows.
She checked every single post. And found all of them well guarded. The men seemed bound and determined to watch over them, giving their lives if needed.
They wouldn´t stand for long in case of an attack, but at least they would certainly make enough noise to warn them.
Finally she returned to the edge of their little camp. She stopped under the trees and watched the Confessor quietly for a few moments from the shadows. Her heart squirmed seeing Kahlan, knees drawn up to her chest, her chin resting on them while her arms were wrapped tightly around her legs; hooded eyes under furrowed brows still settled on the flickering light of their campfire. Her face wore an expression somewhere between sad melancholy and bitter heartache. Cara sighed and stepped forward, not missing the small sigh that came from Kahlan and immediately she felt almost guilty for disturbing her.
As she was going to take a silent seat opposite to her, Kahlan shifted her head, searching her gaze.
“Cara, please, sit with me.”
The Mord Sith hesitated only briefly. It sounded like Kahlan expected something of her that she couldn´t name. But how could she withstand the plea? She moved slowly and settled behind her, stretched her legs to each side of her and felt awkwardly misplaced. Kahlan scooted back, fumbling for her arms to wrap them around her waist, until one hand rested on her chest, feeling her heart beating in slow, dark beats.
“Thank you for being here.” She whispered.
Cara frowned a little. Where else would she be? Her hand twitched as if she wanted to grab her agiel but knew that wouldn´t be right. So she did the only thing she felt suitable. She cuddled up to Kahlan, buried her face in her hair and hummed into her ear...
Finally she felt how the brunette relaxed a little; she leaned back against Cara and sighed, her fingers entwined with hers her thumb stroking softly the back of her hand. When the blonde already started to believe she was going to drift off, Kahlan´s low voice reached her ear.
As if flowing with the night- breezes from afar; telling a bedtime story to a troubled child...
“You may find hundreds of books In the Wizard´s Keep, filled with every detail the world knows about the creatures that are named Confessors. All of their history, their lives, and their power is written there in ancient letters. I spent a lot of my childhood being taught who I am; where I come from; why I exist...
Confessors were made by wizards. They´ve been created as a weapon, you know, just like Mord Sith were. In the time of the Great War they were meant to divide the light from the dark. They were unique. The wizards created in them the ultimate power; a gift and a curse all the same; to see the truth and to judge in a final sentence; to turn living people into an undead shell of a slaved soul by their touch alone. The war was finally won through the aid of this weapon. The Confessors were granted to live further on, to save the Midlands from ever getting into such disasters again. The strongest was named the Mother Confessor, leader of the Midlands, to guide and to protect their people with wisdom and love.
The people of the Midlands love the embodiment of peace and justice the Mother Confessor pictures for them and they respect her deeply. But they fear the person behind the picture, her vicinity. And most of all they fear her touch. They fear it more than they fear the Keeper himself.
That is what makes Confessors very lonesome women.
Our education takes care of that. We are intensively prepared for our task; and for the solitude that will be our life. We learn from an early age to rely on nothing but our own resources. We learn to use our gift for the greater good, to act with no doubt and to make terrible decisions. Decisions, which would cause endless nightmares to normal people.
We dispossess people of their souls and leave them as slaves to our will. Even those we love. Without the slightest hesitation.
We guide our people into war and death if we may save the Midlands by doing so.
We even kill our own child if it is born as a boy.
All these things we do because of our unmistakable knowledge that it has to be done.
Though, sometimes, very rarely, it might come to pass that the Mother Confessor loses faith in her wisdom. That the task ahead is too heavy a burden; that she comes to doubt. Maybe even despairs of it.
But a despaired Mother Confessor who can´t follow the right path in due course can quickly lead to the final downfall; of herself... and of the Midlands.
The wizards knew that. And they have taken care of it. The legend tells that “they create a power that will live for the single purpose to advise the Mother Confessor in her despair. She alone will be able to call for it, and only if no other way will be seen.
A creature, equal to her, living to wait for her call; to help her see the truth. To save them all.”
The creature the legend speaks of is a white dragon.
It´s said that all over the centuries there had always been only one of her kind.
She will always be a female. She lives for hundreds of years; in solitude; in the highest peaks of the mountains. And when she feels her end is near, she takes a mate. It doesn´t matter which kind of dragon the male would be. She will lay a single egg and it will be another white dragon female. And when the little one hatches she is going to die, leaving the task to her daughter; living lonely in the crowns of the range until the call reaches her.
Then she will come down from the mountains and judge for the Mother Confessor. “
“What does that mean, she judges for the Mother Confessor?” Cara felt strong concern furrowing her brows. She had no clue, why Kahlan told her of legends. But she felt her tense body trembling slightly in her arms a few times. And she heard her voice; as if coming from a distance. A distance that glowed in a dark and frightful light.
The fingers entangled with hers tightened their grip almost unnoticeably.
“She is said to be gracious to the Mother Confessor. She approves to the decision she is going to take with absolute certitude, no matter how hard it might be.
If so, she shimmers in an icy blue, like the ice that covers the peaks she comes from. She will wrap the Mother Confessor´s heart into her icy strength and transmit her power. And the tender touch of her wings will be solace to the Mother Confessor.
But if not, she glows in a light orange shine like the falling sun and blows hot breezes of disgrace and the Mother Confessor knows her decision is wrong. And her warm tears will only stop when a new decision is made.”
“How often does it happen that a Mother Confessor despairs and calls for her?” Cara kept her voice low and soft, as if trying to soothe her with her voice alone; not daring to disturb her telling.
“The first who called her was the first Mother Confessor, Magda Searus.
With her husband´s, Wizard Barracus, suicide her world crashed. In this time the last battles of the Great War threatened her people. She was alone and inexperienced. She had to send thousands into their certain death to save ten times more. She gave the order to attack, before their foes could overrun them; but the burden that she literally sentenced them to their death almost drove her insane.
“And then…?”
“Five generations passed before the dragon was called again.
The Mother Confessor was of a young age, her mother had been ill and she had passed her title to her daughter much earlier than usual. But then dark powers cast a spell on her, so that she finally wasn´t herself; they used her reputation to turn the people of the Midlands on each other in destructive battles until at last her daughter saw no other chance then to fate her own mother to die.
It is said, that the white dragon glowed in a shimmering blue and that she cried tears made of ice.
She embraced the Mother Confessor with her wings and gave her the strength to do the right thing…
That was the last time she came down from her summits.”
Kahlan´s whisper stopped and her body shivered slightly and Cara felt her insides burning with a question she didn´t dare to ask. So she wrapped her arms tighter around the brunette and just held her.
They sat quietly for long moments, the silence only broken by Kahlan´s deep, cautiously controlled breaths, fingers flexing nervously on her thighs, until Cara couldn´t bear it any longer. With the softest of whispers she asked carefully:
“Kahlan? Why do you tell me this legend?”
An almost tentative sigh escaped the other woman, and when Cara already began to believe, she wouldn´t answer at all, she heard her ragged voice.
“It was the anniversary of your departure…
I´d lived for months with Richard by my side. It had been…difficult…
I felt so empty! So vacuous; as if standing beside myself and watching my own life passing by meaningless.
But there was the child I felt growing inside of me...
I had made my decision. I wanted to leave all of it behind, wanted to focus on my daughter, be the Mother she would deserve…
So I rode up to my clearance to say good-bye. To my dreams;
to what life had never granted me…”
Her words dimmed to a broken whisper and she briefly closed her eyes.
“To you, Cara.
My heart was filled with grief and sorrow; I cried a lot and… I don´t know how, but at one point I had my dagger in hand; its tip pointed straight to my heart.
And suddenly everything seemed so clear, so easy. I would leave it all behind! The pain; the torture; the disgust I felt thinking of the nights with Richard, my self-abhorrence…”
Cara held her breath and gritted her teeth to suppress a moan. Her eyes had narrowed with sheer hatred. Hatred for the man who had caused Kahlan´s pain…
Kahlan continued; her words running from her mouth as if on their own.
“SHE was there from out of the nothing. When I heard her savage roar I refused to react; I was ready to welcome death…. It was Shadow who reared up against her attack. All I saw was a glowing red monster, blowing hot breath against Shadow and giant wings and claws that hit him. I know, it was just his panic that made him fight, but in that moment it felt as if he defended me. And finally I came to my feet to fight, not wanting him to die for me.
That was the first time he saved me.
Panicked as he was he didn´t recognize me and his hooves were everywhere. I felt a hard blow to my belly and I knew instantly he had killed my child.
That was the second time he saved me.
At last he found his legs ready to run and he stormed away.
SHE was still there. She glowed in a deep fire-red, her breath seared my skin; her claws had ripped a few awful wounds.
But as soon as Shadow disappeared and I fell she calmed immediately. Her glowing fire dimmed quickly and she settled beside me. I remember her skin, covered with a light fur, warm and soft. She now shimmered in a calm blue, just as I´ve been told in my youth. She wrapped me into her wings and her blue eyes shed hot, bloody tears. She cried for me and for my losses. Never before I had felt so beloved.
I must have passed out; or perhaps it was she who took my mind on a journey. I don´t know.
I saw pictures of a future world, reduced to rubble.
I saw soldiers looting and pillaging.
And I saw Richard, swinging the Sword of Truth furiously. He massacred villagers and peasants. He was the Bringer of Death. He knew no mercy.
I saw his sons standing behind him; gloating over the spectacle. They were three. And then I could see his eyes and suddenly I knew he killed only to please them. He was confessed.
Then they looked at me and sneered.
“Do you enjoy the show, Mother Confessor?” they scoffed...
And I... stood helpless; chained; and with that collar around my neck.“ Kahlan´s hard voice dripped with bitterness. Cara found herself stroking the Confessor´s arms soothingly while biting her lip until she tasted blood; letting its metallic flavor center her. She did not dare to breathe, did not want to startle Kahlan, who seemed lost in her memories.
“When I opened my eyes I found she was staring at me with a warm blue glow.
And I swear, Cara, she talked to me.
It weren´t actual words she said, but it felt as if she planted the meaning of her thoughts into my mind.”
“What did she say?” Cara breathed.
“She said she felt sorrow for all my hurt. And she said “it´s not yet over; there is much more pain lying in your path before the aim will be reached. It´s up to you Kahlan. Fight for your heart and you will save your people all the same. Do what must be done. As hard as it will be. Do not hesitate.
Dead souls do not belong to the world of the living.”
She stayed with me until I could hear faint shouts. They were coming to save me. They had been alarmed as Shadow returned alone to the stables...” she breathed audibly. “ - that was the third time he saved me.
In the next moment she spread her wings to leave and I passed out again.”
Kahlan inhaled deeply. Her voice had become a lost, monotone sound.
“I assume Zedd told you the rest of the story. I lost my child. And I´m ashamed that I felt almost relieved. Shadow´s hoof had saved me from killing my own son. I was spared doing “what must be done”. His dead soul had already left the world of the living...”
She fell silent. Her tense body felt hard as stone in Cara´s arms.
The blonde cradled her softly, breathing warm breathes to her neck. She felt numb and appalled. Finally she reached for the Confessor´s stiffened shoulders to turn her around.
As she looked into her stony face the trail of fresh tears that trickled silently in a constant flow over her controlled, unemotional mask almost ripped her apart. But there was something more in her eyes.
In the abyss behind the blue she saw and felt sparks of something familiar. Something she had seen before in the eyes of others; when they had been close to getting lost in their own world of pain; just before they had tumbled over the edge and their mind had broken.
Cara frowned. Her worry increasing as she felt Kahlan´s flat eyes lingering on her with some kind of a desperate plea, as if silently asking her to save her, with something akin to a primal fear glowing in the depths of their darkening blue.
The Mord Sith came to her feet. Her eyes held Kahlan in a tight embrace, while she lifted her stiff body into her arms and carried her to their bedrolls. She set her gently down and started to help her out of her clothes in careful, almost tender motions; Kahlan moved on her gentle commands, but didn´t seem to acknowledge what she did, her mind still absent, caught almost completely in sorrow.
She wrapped her into a blanket and stripped quickly to join the Mother Confessor. Seeking to comfort her she started to plant soft kisses on her eyes, her cheeks, her lips…
Kahlan barely reacted. So she cupped her cheeks.
“Look at me, Kahlan!” softly at first, but when no reaction rewarded her, her tone became more forceful, until at last she sighed and forced her face into her hard Mistress expression to order the Confessor harshly. Only then her eyes looked finally up to her; staring at her as if from afar. Cara grabbed her shoulders tightly, her voice sounded hard and determined.
“You will let go of it, Kahlan! Now! I am here. I can bear your pain.” She watched Kahlan´s eyes slowly coming to life as her words reached her mind; saw the slight shake of her head as she instinctively flinched from the meaning of the blonde´s offer.
“I…” The blonde stopped her frightened whisper by covering her mouth with her hand in a resolved gesture.
“You want to hurt me for what I did. I can feel it. I abandoned you. I left without a word. All you´ve endured you endured because of me. Somewhere buried deep inside you there is a part of you that wants to hate me for that. That´s okay Kahlan. Do not fear it. I will teach you to embrace that hatred, so you will be able to embrace your love too…”
While speaking she pulled Kahlan near, gripping her arms and guiding them to her skin, pressing Kahlan´s hands hard against her own flesh, raking the brunette´s stiffened fingers on a cruel path up and down, again and again; all while holding her eyes in an unwavering lock; one moment searching her mouth in demanding anger; then biting painfully the flesh on her shoulder, Cara forced Kahlan to defend; at first reluctantly, but soon with an increasing heat; her breath hitching, her hands fighting against Cara´s brutal grip until finally they started moving of their own, landing a few angry blows on her chest, then wrapping her arms around the blonde where her nails scratched deep red lines; until her icy blue eyes glared at Cara and her lips searched Cara´s; and reluctantly burying her teeth into her bottom lip, only to tense their grip as she tasted blood; licking it desperately from the blonde´s skin as if sucking liquid life from her lips.
Finally she gave in into the battle of pain and passion; she let go of her hurt, her fears and her sorrows; making love to the blonde with a burning aggression as she had never thought she´d be able to. All while tears streamed in an endless flow down her cheeks…
In this night it was Kahlan who broke.
It wasn´t the kind of a break-down as it had been for Cara´s walls of protection; not the final submitting to long denied emotions. It was the painful break-out of a prison that she had built for herself; a break out in waves of heated anger and savage passion, following Cara who guided her, who tore the chains down for her escape and didn´t flinch as she felt all the bruises and scratches she left in her wake.
Who offered her body and her soul freely and unquestioningly to catch Kahlan before she could fall.
Until the release she had so desperately searched for left her empty with exhaustion and made room for a new strength.
t.b.c.
to part 10