Fic : Touched
Title: Touched
Author: chickinwhite
Rating: PG 16
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan,
Word account: ~ 3100
Summary : ... it was a spot that the Creator herself would have chosen for a break..
claimer: Nothing of LotS belongs to me (such a pity!) - no business, just fan-fun
Note: Okay, life is wonderful! But there´s not always funnytiems. So enjoy the sun and be prepared for the shadows...
How it all began? look here: 1-Hunting, 2-Troubled, 3-Confused, 4-Obsessed, This is a sequel to "obsessed"...
Well, it´s late... I hope my tired brain didn´t destroy it after all....
okay, do you wanna feel ... touched..?
Touched...
The basin was located in a spot upstream, where the water fell over a brim of the rocks in a wide and strong cascade, maybe two men´s length high. Where the water reached the bottom it had washed out and created a beautiful pool, even wide enough to swim a few strokes, in the midst of an oasis of hundred different shimmering greens and blues. Wide spots of flowering surrounded it like jewels on green velvet and butterflies and shot colored dragon flies were dancing beyond the surface. Golden beams of a lazy settling sun spotted through the trees, a few birds rhapsodized their evening concert…
It was a spot that the Creator herself would have chosen for a break…
Kahlan´s soul exulted. She tipped a toe into the water and grinned.
Even the waters are warmer …
She laughed at herself while stripping. She had thought about Cara her entire way from the camp up to here.
Who would have estimated in the beginning, that this Mord Sith would ever grow that close to her heart?
When she recalled all the months she had travelled with Cara at her side, she felt impressed of the development the blonde has gone through. From their first confrontation, when they rescued the girls in the cave and Kahlan had threatened Cara with death for ever betraying Richard - to their combined captivity in the tomb, when Cara had called Kahlan a friend… She sighed. Spirits, what a long way had it been!
And every step of it had been worth it!
At least, Kahlan felt changed as well. She had learned a lot - more patience, more tolerance. She had never easily judged a book by its cover, but with Cara, unreadable for a Confessor, it was much more a challenge with all what she had been taught in her youth…She had gained new views of life, understood things better…and at least she had won a friend!
Yes, her life had enriched with the blonde…
Though to engage with a Mord Sith was not that easy; Cara demanded a lot from her and there were days, when Kahlan nearly went mad with the Mord Sith, with her stubbornness or her mockery. But there were the other days as well, when Cara was just adorable, detecting little life wonders; so loyal with her companions; so fearless and unselfish …and so beautiful…She gave so much back though she didn´t even notice it…
Kahlan made a face… She scolded herself, halfhearted; mocking; “One could really think you´re head over heels in love…”
She grinned amused. At least she had never experienced having a real friend before, except Dennee, but Dennee was her little sister; this couldn´t count. And…Cara…was just… very special!
And… she was strong…a perfect warrior… and …beautiful…
Kahlan glided into the water. She stroke strongly, enjoying the play with the water, and soon she reached the opposite bank and turned. She stopped in the midway, rolling on her back, drifting with the water for a while, listening to the bird´s song and following the playful flights of the dragon flies. She felt a wonderful lightness, calm and easy. Drifting dreamily her hand reached out to caress lazily her own skin, sneaking down her arm, fondling over her hips, sliding softly over her belly…
Behind her closed eyes she imagined a smirk…eyes of bright blue green under mocking brows…
…slowly her hands wandered gently over her stomach to her chest, to her breasts. A fingertip circling in very soft motion… Eyes closed, smiling, breath swelling, lost in the moment…
Remembering soft and fully lips, pressing gently on hers, a curious tongue teasing her own…
She hummed while her hand stroke slightly between her legs…
How would it feel to touch a tanned skin like this?...
A sudden little noise, like a pebble splashing into the water, disturbed her. She cringed frightened, hold her breath appalled, and observed the edge around the pool. Inside her chest she felt her heart pounding heavily. But she didn´t see or hear any movement around. There was nothing.
Kahlan stared for another moment and then sighed in relief. But the moment´s spell was broken.
She turned to her pack and grabbed her soap, then focused on the waterfall and swam over. Kahlan turned her back to the rock and dunked into the water cascade. It felt so cool and relaxing, her entire body enjoyed the strong fresh gush on her shoulders, refreshing her skin…and her mind.
- She didn´t notice the blink of red leather under the trees… -
Kahlan took a deep breath and dunked under. She snorted when she came up and stroke strands of wet hair out of her face.
All of a sudden her heart stopped beating for an instant when a splash from behind startled her. A keen and sarcastic voice growling into her neck made her hackles rise in an instant:
“Did your mom never tell you that it´s dangerous for little girls to swim alone in unknown pools in dark woods?”
Kahlan felt her blood vanishing out of her face, turning pale. A cold shiver ran down her spin. She clenched her jaw, her shoulders squared and slowly she turned around.
“Cara!” she shouted with a hiss.
“Kahlan!” the blonde mocked her.
“Spirits! Are you trying to kill me, Cara? My heart has almost stopped! … - Where do you come from?”
Cara was all smirks.
She pointed to the waterfall: “there is a niche inside;…but didn´t you see my leather?”
Kahlan followed her gaze and finally recognized the red blur under the trees.
What meant that Cara was completely naked! …
Suddenly Kahlan blushed deeply... She tried to drop her head, embarrassed, but her eyes didn´t obey, stopped on their way down, fixated in fascination on Cara´s lips. Cara´s heart swelled with the sight of her confusion; a warm, almost tender glow in her chest made her lips curling slightly up.
Unconsciously Kahlan´s eyes lowered almost automatically, without waiting for her brain´s admission, trailing a line from Cara´s jaws to her neck, down her chest, to her breasts and stared at them, half covered from the water. Her breath came pressed through her lips.
Cara felt a heat rising inside her, swallowed a lump in her throat; a voice hissed alarmed inside her mind - Distance, Cara! - but she felt absolutely unable to step away. Her heart pounded unsteadily, and she clenched her fists under water, hoping that this could help her to keep controlled…She wasn´t able to turn her eyes from Kahlan´s, who had stepped closer while her labored breath reached Cara´s skin…
Lifting her eyes, locking with Cara´s gaze , Kahlan´s hands reached slowly out to grab Cara´s cheeks, only by instinct, feeling the warm desire she had felt before, stroking softly with her thumbs, her eyes darkened with tenderness, affection, and something else, that Cara couldn´t identify; then her fingers curled into Cara´s blonde wet hair, pulling her closer, pressing her lips gently on Cara´s, teasing tenderly. She licked her lower lip, gently chewing on it, playfully.
Cara couldn´t help but close her eyes as the sensation of the teasing softness overwhelmed her. A tiny stifled moan escaped her.
That was the moment, when Kahlan forgot all reason…The moment, when their lips crushed together.
Cara didn´t resist her kiss, nor her tongue, her hands gliding hungrily all over her skin. Cara felt dizzy, as if spelled by powerful magic. She couldn´t resist the mess of emotions whirling wildly through her mind. All her so well trained self-control vanished in an instant and to her own affright she heard her voice whisper: ”I … love you…”
Kahlan paused. Her eyes widened in a sudden crash of realization, of facing the truth behind all her happiness of the last days, all the joy she had felt since the blonde had finally returned to her side. Cara only spoke out what she had truly felt the entire time since she was back:
“oh, Spirits! I am head over heels in love!”
******
Kahlan broke her kiss as abruptly as she had set it. She shoved Cara away, staring at her with eyes filled with confusion, stunned and speechless. In this split of a second Kahlan´s world changed, everything seemed turned upside down, her entire live needed to be redefined…
Puzzled with all her confusion, wheezing, she just turned away and stepped out of the water, not notifying the hurt look on Cara´s face, who followed her after a minute, head dropped, shoulders sacked, ashamed of the weakness that had grown in her, that had let her confess a fact, which she should never had admitted…
Kahlan didn´t see it, much too overwhelmed by her own feelings…
*******
Kahlan was still at a loss for everything around her when she hurried to get into her clothes again. Turning around she could see Cara a few steps beside, with clenched teeth, obviously in concentration to fix all her leather stripes. Kahlans gaze was full with a warm and tender glow when she focused on the Mord Sith´s body, her well trained silhouette, her elegant and pliant motions, her still wet hair, shimmering golden in the last resting sunlight; and she wondered once more how she had never recognized the truth before. She was stunned by how she had fooled herself such a long time, pretending that it was merely honest sympathy, friendship at its best, which she felt for Cara.
She was the Mother Confessor! No one could lie to her! And she had betrayed herself!?! …
Well, that wasn´t the whole truth… She had known it, had recognized it when she had been eyeball to eyeball with her, in that battle, when she wasn´t able to confess her, even not for the price of her own life, … - ”she´s my life!...” - and anyhow she had denied it.
She sighed in confusion. It was so surprisingly what the sudden insight did to her. She felt totally overjoyed, liberated and conscious of her feelings, now that she knew it was Cara who made her heart dance. Hammering inside her chest with the mere thought of her. She wanted to exult loudly by merely watching the blonde. Her entire mind yelled for going to her, holding her tight, kissing her, touching her; … she would never again let her go…
But in the same time she was very aware of the next consequences of the now visible truth… She felt the almost oppressive sensation of guilt and treachery when she thought of Richard. She felt a lump growing in her stomach when she imagined his face, twisted with pain when he would see the truth, when he would face the fact, that Kahlan´s heart didn´t belong to him anymore; that Kahlan even couldn´t tell if it had ever belonged to him, or if the whole romantic painted picture of their everlasting love hadn´t been a mirage since all the beginning;… created out of their duty and the exhausting, ever present responsibility for the world´s rescue;… meant to support the both of them…
It had ever felt good and right; but it simply wasn´t true…
And now the illusion had gone. She had to speak with Richard; Soon…
And she had to speak with Cara. Now!...
Kahlan took a deep breath, collecting all her love for her and approached the Mord Sith, who was still busy with her laces…
“Wait, I help you.”Cara glared at her, but Kahlan shove her hands beside and tightened the last strip. She felt Cara´s gaze burning on her, clearly upset and hiding a hurt blink in her eyes. She struggled with a wave of sorrow, knowing that it was her fault that the blonde felt deeply hurt; Cara had admitted feelings and Kahlan´s reaction must have felt like a punch in the gut…Kahlan could only hope that Cara would allow her to apologize…
“Cara” - the blonde turned away, freezed her off, but Kahlan could see her shoulders stiffening.
“Cara!” Her voice pleading softly. “Please, Cara, look at me. I´m… I´m so sorry!”
“There is no reason to be sorry, Kahlan;” Cara´s voice was husky. “I shouldn´t have spoken of it. Forget what I said. I wasn´t myself! - It is not important…” Kahlan could hear the mess of emotion in her voice, the mixture of barely controlled disappointment and suppressed bitterness.
“No,… no, Cara! It is important! It may be more important then anything you´ve ever said before...” and with a catch in her voice: “and … it was the most loveliest that I have ever heard… - I … I was just so surprised.. and I… I couldn´t… I mean…”
Cara focused on a point behind the waterfall. Her face was steely, she didn´t want to speak about it anymore. She only wanted to escape this place, to escape Kahlan and her own barely controlled emotions…
“As I said: Forget what I said! I´m clearly aware that it was ridiculous. And I swear, I will never talk about it again. And don´t worry, Richard will never come to know about it!”
Kahlan hissed in frustration. How could she ever show this blind and stubborn creature her real feelings, show her that she was truly in love with her…
She gripped Cara´s shoulders, turning her to hold her glance and moved her head in a very slow motion, until her lips felt Cara´s again, very gently, very conscious! Cara tried to flinch, but gave up when Kahlan deepened her touch. When Kahlan loosened their kiss after a while she whispered:
“Richard will come to know about it Cara! Because I will tell him!” She smiled a little helplessly. “ I don´t know why I didn´t recognize it before.. But I know that it is the truth! Cara, I love you too!”
Cara gave her a puzzled look, obviously pondering whether the Mother Confessor would mock at her in such an evil way. Her furrowed brows needed a minute to relax, just a bit. She tried to read in the brilliant blue pools of Kahlans eyes, which had went watery, not hiding the smallest emotion…
When she spoke again, her voice was unsure, questioning. “But, that is impossible…? Kahlan, you are Richard´s … How do you think that this might work? I mean…”
Kahlan hushed her.
“I am sorry Cara.” She leaned her forehead on Cara´s and sighed deeply. “I have no idea how we can deal with it. And if I am honest, I´m really afraid of Richard´s reaction… But whatever happens, there is nothing that could get in our way, Cara! We belong together! It may take a time, but we will find a way! Do you trust me?”
Cara seemed to think about her question, until Kahlan gave her a playful push. Smirking she nodded, “Well, seems I have no choice, no?”
Kahlan smiled at her, her eyes sparkling with love. “I believe in us! And if you do the same, we can move the world!” She kissed her again, this time she felt no resistance of Cara; then she sighed and remembered the growing dawn. She hated to leave…but there was no escape…
“We should return to the camp.” Cara nodded and grabbed her pack.
Leaving the pool side by side, Cara´s hand sneaked down Kahlan´s arm, entangling their fingers, smirking with the squeeze she received…
*******
When they were only half a mile away from their campsite, Khalan stopped. Her heart was beating in her throat. She felt nervous to face Richard, knowing the truth but not knowing how to tell him…
Cara frowned. “Are you alright, Kahlan?” Her voice had a worried tone. “We don´t have to tell him right now! We can wait. Perhaps it is not the right time… or… if …”
“No, Cara! I am sure! I can´t wait too long. It wouldn´t feel right. But, … would you be disappointed if I wait until tomorrow? It might be easier if I can take him beside while walking, Zedd not nearby…!”
Cara nodded, hiding her unsureness behind a crooked smile. Kahlan hold her hands strongly. “I believe in us Cara! Do you?”
Cara sighed, loosing herself in the bright glowing blue of Kahlan´s eyes. “How could I ever fail you?”
They smiled at each other, leaning in to share a last kiss before reaching their companions. When they parted, Cara saw Kahlan´s smiling lips forming the words I love you!
In the next second she saw her eyes breaking, and in the same breathtaking moment of understanding she realized the sound of an arrow, crashing into its aim. The world around her broke down in a sudden burst: Kahlan had been shot! The arrow had met her heart; she fell lifeless to the ground; her eyes, so very blue, couldn´t see the horror on Cara´s face. A second turned into eternity.
“No! Kahlan…” her voice scratched from her lips, she looked up and felt the next arrow meeting her shoulder, throwing her hardly against the next tree. She felt the pain, felt the blood sparkling out of the wound, but all she realized were Kahlan´s eyes, wide opened, staring into space, broken…Another arrow hit her leg, forced her to the ground. She felt hypnotized, not knowing why she should fight, how she should fight…
A rough touch with an agiel called her back to reality, forced her to focus on her enemy. There were nearly a dozen red clothed figures. Hardly concentrating on the figure in red leather in front of her, she slowly recognized the face.
“Dahlia! - What have you done?” her voice a mere shadow of herself.
Dahlia stood straight, raised chin and squared shoulders. And a self-contend smile on her face. ”I told you, Cara! It would not be that easy! I ensure that you will never forget about me! I just killed your hardest enemy! Maybe you can see clearly without her, see were you belong in truth!
And till then, greet the Seeker! I got my revenge! And Lord Rahl wishes him all the best for his quest! He should hurry; the Keeper is on his trace.”
With this words she stroke hardly against Cara´s temple. Cara felt the pain exploding, not even reaching the strength of the pain in her heart, thinking of Kahlan, but strong enough to cover her bleeding heart with darkness….
t.b.c.
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