First Love, Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Holy fucking shit.
Luke stood motionless in the lobby long enough to elicit a few odd looks. Which he did eventually notice. What the…what just happened? Luke’s brain had officially stopped working. Does not compute. System failure. Other parts of him were working just fine, however. No confusion there.
Did he mean…? Am I supposed to…?
Luke sat down. (In Reid’s chair. Sap.) He tried to reboot, to sort through the possibilities. Did Reid want to continue their conversation? Unlikely, even if we weren’t talking about Reid. Did he want to order a pizza and watch a game? Right…then that leaves sex. (Holy fu....) But why? What would it mean? Unfinished business? Would it be Reid’s form of closure? And to be honest, isn’t this how the fantasy plays out? Well, sort of. I suppose in my version there’s a bit more…feeling. But I could work with this. I’ve always been good at improvising.
Or could it just be a…what’s the word, booty call? No, hookup. That’s how gay men are supposed to do it, right? A hookup. No expectations. Luke could just be someone Reid locked eyes with in a hotel bar. In his darker moments, Luke would try to imagine Reid’s life, what sort of men he would be with, how it would happen. Luke couldn’t see Reid in a long-term relationship (no, not after what I did to him). Only a series of loveless, soulless, faceless encounters. Men in bars, on the internet. Luke wasn’t always sure which of them he was punishing more with these scenarios. (And would certainly never admit to getting off on them.)
So that’s what it probably is, then, a hookup. Had the chair not had arms, Luke would certainly have slumped to the floor. It all fit - sure, tonight Reid and he had connected a bit by the end, but not like in the past. Not like before Reid had seemingly surgically removed his Luke-feelings. And who could blame him? Luke wished he could have done the same.
But Luke’s desire for a spotless mind wasn’t stronger than his desire for Reid. Any way he could get him. Any way he wants to have me. So Luke wasn’t surprised to find he was already at the elevator by the time he’d consciously made up his mind. Was there even a decision? He’d spent three - and a half - years wanting Reid on him, in him, around him. He had rubbed himself raw. Had hated what he was doing to Noah, how he was never with Noah. At least he’d never said Reid’s name (please tell me I never said his name). Had kicked himself again and again for never finding out what it would have been like.
This was his chance.
It didn’t matter what Reid’s motivation was, didn’t matter if this would be the only time. He would get to be with Reid. And he was pretty sure the memories would last him a while.
Despite his eagerness (and current unsuitability for family viewing), Luke hesitated outside Reid’s door. Is this too soon? What’s the protocol? Did he want me to follow him right away? Or should this be a late-night thing? He checked his watch: 11:45. Did that qualify as late-enough-night? Perhaps Reid had been going over his notes for a speech the next day (pause to imagine him confidently addressing an audience of his peers). Would he not want to stay up too late? Luke recognized the faint absurdity of his musings but was paralyzed by the fear of messing this up. Like I’ve messed up everything else.
Approaching voices snapped him out of his fugue state. Luke tried to look as casual as possible as an affectionate couple passed by. I could have that. It’s on the other side of this door.
Luke knocked. Seven-one-thousand, eight-one-thousand.... Did he hear something? Did Reid change his mind? What if he’s in the shower? (pause again…) Should he come back lat-
The door opened. They stood for a moment facing each other, Luke with his open, questioning, hopeful face - Reid giving away nothing.
Reid was barefoot but otherwise still fully dressed, still wearing the badge. Luke nearly came on the spot. Don’t blow this. The embedded joke didn’t help.
Reid glanced down, up. His expression changed, finally, becoming hotter, as if a pilot light had been lit. Luke wondered if he’d even make it inside.
Anything you want with me.
To his dismay, the pilot light dimmed. Almost as if Reid had deliberately turned it down. He turned and walked back into his room. Luke followed and shut the door. He was about to explode with nerves, with desire.
Anything I can get.
What does one say in this situation? Too bad Reid can’t offer me a drink. Will we even speak? Do hookups speak? Or is this something more? (don’t go there)
Reid disappeared into the bathroom. Had there not been that brief flare in the doorway, Luke would have wondered if he’d had the right idea about what this visit meant. (What does it mean?) Luke gingerly stepped further into the room and looked around. More papers, a laptop, food containers. A king-sized bed, still made up. Blood rushed to both of Luke’s heads.
Reid emerged and moved over to the laptop, which was on. Without sitting, he tapped a few keys, closed a few windows.
Luke couldn’t take the silence. “Nice room.”
Reid tilted his head to the side and down. Didn’t meet Luke’s eyes but smirked slightly. He finished on the computer and closed it. Then he moved over to the bed and began tossing pillows to the ground.
Gulp.
The Earth’s gravitational force had shifted once again, this time pressing Luke down into the ground. The silence made the buzzing in his ears deafening. The only sound he heard was of the chain of Reid’s badge hitting his shirt buttons with each toss.
“So…is this how things are done?”
Reid paused and looked at Luke questioningly.
“Things…like this….” Shut up, Luke.
“Things like…?”
“You know, hookups.”
Luke hadn’t even realized there’d been light left in Reid’s eyes until it was gone.
Reid slowly straightened and even more slowly approached Luke. Instinctively, Luke backed up until he hit the wall opposite the bed. Reid continued his approach. He lifted his badge from around his neck and dropped it on the floor. When he reached Luke, he put his hands on the wall on either side of Luke’s shoulders. Reid leaned in.
“Yeah, this is how it’s done.”
Alarmed by the deadness in Reid’s eyes but too aroused to care, Luke moved to kiss him. Reid snapped his head back and gave Luke a slight tsk-tsk look. Without warning, Reid dropped to his knees. With what must have been superhuman speed, he had Luke’s jeans unzipped and around his knees. By the time Luke remembered to breathe, he was in Reid’s mouth. The strength of Luke’s gasping moan slammed his head back against the wall. Sweet mother of....
Reid had the wrong career. He had somehow managed to get the entirety of Luke’s (rather large) cock down his throat, and his tongue seemed to be in all places at once. And what was he doing to his balls with his hand…? Holy shit, those hands. Reid’s other hand was assisting his mouth with every stroke. Luke was barely coherent. He knew he wouldn’t last long. And would that be the end? Please, God, let that not be the end. With Reid in whatever mood this was, Luke couldn’t be sure of anything.
Again, Reid performed magic. At some point he had moved his saliva-and-pre-cum-slick fingers toward the back. As soon as Luke felt one slip inside him, it was over. He nearly toppled Reid over with his uncontrollable jerking. Reid held on (like an urban cowboy) and sucked Luke dry. Luke crumpled to the floor, stunned. He’d had no idea it could be like that. None.
Once Reid had licked Luke clean, he sat back on his knees, looking at Luke with a predatory gleam. No, it’s not over. I might never walk again, but it’s not over.
As if reading his mind, Reid stood up and walked over to the bed. He yanked the covers back and waited. Luke pushed himself up with his hands and knees and started to pull up his pants.
Reid shook his head.
Luke paused, then kicked off his shoes and took off his pants. At Reid’s reproachful look, Luke removed his boxers as well. Blushing at the dirty heat in Reid’s eyes, Luke pulled his shirt over his head. Reid didn’t move, didn’t undress. He just watched. Slid his eyes slowly from top to bottom. And back. Luke’s intense unease somehow added to his arousal and he felt himself growing hard again. Reid’s gaze lingered.
Reid put a knee on the bed. Luke stumbled toward him. He was desperate to feel Reid’s skin. To see that chest again. To see all of him. If tonight was all he was going to get, then he'd need to do a bit more research for his fantasies. Reid, however, brushed aside Luke’s hands when he tried to unbutton Reid’s shirt. Luke’s dazed look was questioning and slightly hurt. Reid merely pushed him back on the bed.
Dimly, Luke realized he still hadn’t heard nearly enough of Reid’s voice. So quiet, not enough skin, not enough…what? Tenderness? Surely, that could come later? Yes, after I’ve been thoroughly fucked.
Luke was lost in Reid’s eyes - in his cold, hot eyes. Reid reached into a bag on the nightstand and took out a tube and a long strip of condoms. This is real, Luke thought. This is happening. Any fears that the reality wouldn’t live up to the fantasies had evaporated with his first orgasm. Why the fuck didn’t we do this years ago?
Reid straddled Luke on the bed and parted his legs. Luke was self-conscious but compliant. Reid placed Luke’s legs over Reid’s shoulders - he gazed thoughtfully at Luke’s now-throbbing cock and idly ran his fingers over its length.
“Uunnngh,” said Luke.
Reid continued his examination, seemingly oblivious to his own painful bulge. He skimmed his fingers to Luke’s hole, almost clinically probing it. Luke bucked off the bed and tried to stoke Reid’s face, his hair. Skin, need skin! The feel of Reid’s clothing against Luke’s sensitized flesh was driving him mad.
Reid responded by taking Luke’s hands and holding them over his head. Their heads were close now, their short, heavy breaths intermingling. Luke was mesmerized by Reid’s mouth and arched up to taste it. One again, Reid jerked away. Instead, he drew the fingers of one hand down Luke’s face and into his mouth. Luke sucked wantonly, wanting to be close to Reid, to have any part of him he could. Luke and Reid rocked against each other as Luke sucked. They stared at each other - until Reid closed his eyes. Luke never looked away.
Reid removed his fingers and trailed them down Luke’s body - around a nipple, into his belly button, down his cock. Finally, they reached his hole. Reid’s eyes burned as he circled it and inserted a finger. Luke’s cock jumped. Slowly, so slowly, Reid rotated the finger. Luke was certain he was about to burst. His head, his dick, his heart. Without breaking his gaze, Reid reached over to the tube and uncapped it, squeezing lubricant onto his engaged hand. He briefly withdrew his finger (nooo), coated up, and inserted two. Then - a third. Luke was no longer of this world. He threw his head back, closed his eyes, and made unearthly sounds. His rocking became so insistent that Reid had to lean his weight against Luke’s hip to keep him still enough for Reid to continue his ministrations. Luke managed to hold on even when Reid’s other hand encircled Luke’s penis.
Then Reid targeted the prostate. Without warning, Luke’s cock convulsed, and both Luke’s stomach and Reid’s shirt were coated in trails of semen. Throughout, Reid’s fingers never stilled. When the spasms had finally ended, Reid bent down and kissed Luke’s cock, his stomach, his chest.
But Luke was out cold.
Holy fucking shit.
Luke stood motionless in the lobby long enough to elicit a few odd looks. Which he did eventually notice. What the…what just happened? Luke’s brain had officially stopped working. Does not compute. System failure. Other parts of him were working just fine, however. No confusion there.
Did he mean…? Am I supposed to…?
Luke sat down. (In Reid’s chair. Sap.) He tried to reboot, to sort through the possibilities. Did Reid want to continue their conversation? Unlikely, even if we weren’t talking about Reid. Did he want to order a pizza and watch a game? Right…then that leaves sex. (Holy fu....) But why? What would it mean? Unfinished business? Would it be Reid’s form of closure? And to be honest, isn’t this how the fantasy plays out? Well, sort of. I suppose in my version there’s a bit more…feeling. But I could work with this. I’ve always been good at improvising.
Or could it just be a…what’s the word, booty call? No, hookup. That’s how gay men are supposed to do it, right? A hookup. No expectations. Luke could just be someone Reid locked eyes with in a hotel bar. In his darker moments, Luke would try to imagine Reid’s life, what sort of men he would be with, how it would happen. Luke couldn’t see Reid in a long-term relationship (no, not after what I did to him). Only a series of loveless, soulless, faceless encounters. Men in bars, on the internet. Luke wasn’t always sure which of them he was punishing more with these scenarios. (And would certainly never admit to getting off on them.)
So that’s what it probably is, then, a hookup. Had the chair not had arms, Luke would certainly have slumped to the floor. It all fit - sure, tonight Reid and he had connected a bit by the end, but not like in the past. Not like before Reid had seemingly surgically removed his Luke-feelings. And who could blame him? Luke wished he could have done the same.
But Luke’s desire for a spotless mind wasn’t stronger than his desire for Reid. Any way he could get him. Any way he wants to have me. So Luke wasn’t surprised to find he was already at the elevator by the time he’d consciously made up his mind. Was there even a decision? He’d spent three - and a half - years wanting Reid on him, in him, around him. He had rubbed himself raw. Had hated what he was doing to Noah, how he was never with Noah. At least he’d never said Reid’s name (please tell me I never said his name). Had kicked himself again and again for never finding out what it would have been like.
This was his chance.
It didn’t matter what Reid’s motivation was, didn’t matter if this would be the only time. He would get to be with Reid. And he was pretty sure the memories would last him a while.
Despite his eagerness (and current unsuitability for family viewing), Luke hesitated outside Reid’s door. Is this too soon? What’s the protocol? Did he want me to follow him right away? Or should this be a late-night thing? He checked his watch: 11:45. Did that qualify as late-enough-night? Perhaps Reid had been going over his notes for a speech the next day (pause to imagine him confidently addressing an audience of his peers). Would he not want to stay up too late? Luke recognized the faint absurdity of his musings but was paralyzed by the fear of messing this up. Like I’ve messed up everything else.
Approaching voices snapped him out of his fugue state. Luke tried to look as casual as possible as an affectionate couple passed by. I could have that. It’s on the other side of this door.
Luke knocked. Seven-one-thousand, eight-one-thousand.... Did he hear something? Did Reid change his mind? What if he’s in the shower? (pause again…) Should he come back lat-
The door opened. They stood for a moment facing each other, Luke with his open, questioning, hopeful face - Reid giving away nothing.
Reid was barefoot but otherwise still fully dressed, still wearing the badge. Luke nearly came on the spot. Don’t blow this. The embedded joke didn’t help.
Reid glanced down, up. His expression changed, finally, becoming hotter, as if a pilot light had been lit. Luke wondered if he’d even make it inside.
Anything you want with me.
To his dismay, the pilot light dimmed. Almost as if Reid had deliberately turned it down. He turned and walked back into his room. Luke followed and shut the door. He was about to explode with nerves, with desire.
Anything I can get.
What does one say in this situation? Too bad Reid can’t offer me a drink. Will we even speak? Do hookups speak? Or is this something more? (don’t go there)
Reid disappeared into the bathroom. Had there not been that brief flare in the doorway, Luke would have wondered if he’d had the right idea about what this visit meant. (What does it mean?) Luke gingerly stepped further into the room and looked around. More papers, a laptop, food containers. A king-sized bed, still made up. Blood rushed to both of Luke’s heads.
Reid emerged and moved over to the laptop, which was on. Without sitting, he tapped a few keys, closed a few windows.
Luke couldn’t take the silence. “Nice room.”
Reid tilted his head to the side and down. Didn’t meet Luke’s eyes but smirked slightly. He finished on the computer and closed it. Then he moved over to the bed and began tossing pillows to the ground.
Gulp.
The Earth’s gravitational force had shifted once again, this time pressing Luke down into the ground. The silence made the buzzing in his ears deafening. The only sound he heard was of the chain of Reid’s badge hitting his shirt buttons with each toss.
“So…is this how things are done?”
Reid paused and looked at Luke questioningly.
“Things…like this….” Shut up, Luke.
“Things like…?”
“You know, hookups.”
Luke hadn’t even realized there’d been light left in Reid’s eyes until it was gone.
Reid slowly straightened and even more slowly approached Luke. Instinctively, Luke backed up until he hit the wall opposite the bed. Reid continued his approach. He lifted his badge from around his neck and dropped it on the floor. When he reached Luke, he put his hands on the wall on either side of Luke’s shoulders. Reid leaned in.
“Yeah, this is how it’s done.”
Alarmed by the deadness in Reid’s eyes but too aroused to care, Luke moved to kiss him. Reid snapped his head back and gave Luke a slight tsk-tsk look. Without warning, Reid dropped to his knees. With what must have been superhuman speed, he had Luke’s jeans unzipped and around his knees. By the time Luke remembered to breathe, he was in Reid’s mouth. The strength of Luke’s gasping moan slammed his head back against the wall. Sweet mother of....
Reid had the wrong career. He had somehow managed to get the entirety of Luke’s (rather large) cock down his throat, and his tongue seemed to be in all places at once. And what was he doing to his balls with his hand…? Holy shit, those hands. Reid’s other hand was assisting his mouth with every stroke. Luke was barely coherent. He knew he wouldn’t last long. And would that be the end? Please, God, let that not be the end. With Reid in whatever mood this was, Luke couldn’t be sure of anything.
Again, Reid performed magic. At some point he had moved his saliva-and-pre-cum-slick fingers toward the back. As soon as Luke felt one slip inside him, it was over. He nearly toppled Reid over with his uncontrollable jerking. Reid held on (like an urban cowboy) and sucked Luke dry. Luke crumpled to the floor, stunned. He’d had no idea it could be like that. None.
Once Reid had licked Luke clean, he sat back on his knees, looking at Luke with a predatory gleam. No, it’s not over. I might never walk again, but it’s not over.
As if reading his mind, Reid stood up and walked over to the bed. He yanked the covers back and waited. Luke pushed himself up with his hands and knees and started to pull up his pants.
Reid shook his head.
Luke paused, then kicked off his shoes and took off his pants. At Reid’s reproachful look, Luke removed his boxers as well. Blushing at the dirty heat in Reid’s eyes, Luke pulled his shirt over his head. Reid didn’t move, didn’t undress. He just watched. Slid his eyes slowly from top to bottom. And back. Luke’s intense unease somehow added to his arousal and he felt himself growing hard again. Reid’s gaze lingered.
Reid put a knee on the bed. Luke stumbled toward him. He was desperate to feel Reid’s skin. To see that chest again. To see all of him. If tonight was all he was going to get, then he'd need to do a bit more research for his fantasies. Reid, however, brushed aside Luke’s hands when he tried to unbutton Reid’s shirt. Luke’s dazed look was questioning and slightly hurt. Reid merely pushed him back on the bed.
Dimly, Luke realized he still hadn’t heard nearly enough of Reid’s voice. So quiet, not enough skin, not enough…what? Tenderness? Surely, that could come later? Yes, after I’ve been thoroughly fucked.
Luke was lost in Reid’s eyes - in his cold, hot eyes. Reid reached into a bag on the nightstand and took out a tube and a long strip of condoms. This is real, Luke thought. This is happening. Any fears that the reality wouldn’t live up to the fantasies had evaporated with his first orgasm. Why the fuck didn’t we do this years ago?
Reid straddled Luke on the bed and parted his legs. Luke was self-conscious but compliant. Reid placed Luke’s legs over Reid’s shoulders - he gazed thoughtfully at Luke’s now-throbbing cock and idly ran his fingers over its length.
“Uunnngh,” said Luke.
Reid continued his examination, seemingly oblivious to his own painful bulge. He skimmed his fingers to Luke’s hole, almost clinically probing it. Luke bucked off the bed and tried to stoke Reid’s face, his hair. Skin, need skin! The feel of Reid’s clothing against Luke’s sensitized flesh was driving him mad.
Reid responded by taking Luke’s hands and holding them over his head. Their heads were close now, their short, heavy breaths intermingling. Luke was mesmerized by Reid’s mouth and arched up to taste it. One again, Reid jerked away. Instead, he drew the fingers of one hand down Luke’s face and into his mouth. Luke sucked wantonly, wanting to be close to Reid, to have any part of him he could. Luke and Reid rocked against each other as Luke sucked. They stared at each other - until Reid closed his eyes. Luke never looked away.
Reid removed his fingers and trailed them down Luke’s body - around a nipple, into his belly button, down his cock. Finally, they reached his hole. Reid’s eyes burned as he circled it and inserted a finger. Luke’s cock jumped. Slowly, so slowly, Reid rotated the finger. Luke was certain he was about to burst. His head, his dick, his heart. Without breaking his gaze, Reid reached over to the tube and uncapped it, squeezing lubricant onto his engaged hand. He briefly withdrew his finger (nooo), coated up, and inserted two. Then - a third. Luke was no longer of this world. He threw his head back, closed his eyes, and made unearthly sounds. His rocking became so insistent that Reid had to lean his weight against Luke’s hip to keep him still enough for Reid to continue his ministrations. Luke managed to hold on even when Reid’s other hand encircled Luke’s penis.
Then Reid targeted the prostate. Without warning, Luke’s cock convulsed, and both Luke’s stomach and Reid’s shirt were coated in trails of semen. Throughout, Reid’s fingers never stilled. When the spasms had finally ended, Reid bent down and kissed Luke’s cock, his stomach, his chest.
But Luke was out cold.