#180: Only Me
Prompt: #180
Title: Only Me
Pairing: Chen/Lay
Rating: G
Word Count: 3038
Summary: Jongdae wants to be the only one Yixing cuddles with and kisses.
Author's Note: Thank you to my beta for reading through this!
Jongdae likes to think he's being discreet, casually looking across the room to where two of his fellow EXO members are curled up into each other. It's another movie night in the dorms, a rare occasion when everyone is free of schedules, and all 12 of them are sprawled out on furniture or the floor. The room is dark, lit only by the movie, aiding Jongdae in his secret staring.
Squished together in a chair are Yixing and Luhan, the younger curled up against the other's side, head lolling on his shoulder. There's an arm draped loosely over Luhan's stomach, while the arm around the waist of EXO-M's lead dancer seems to tighten possessively. During bright scenes of the movie, Jongdae can see how Yixing's eyes are closed and his mouth is gaping open, a clear sign that he's no longer awake. Jongdae wants to be in Luhan's place, gently cradling Yixing in his arms whilst the other sleeps. But he's not.
Luhan is currently shooting him a smug grin.
It's not fair, and Jongdae wants to whine at the injustice of the situation. He had been the last one to arrive at the dorm due to vocal practice with Liyin-noona, and by then most of the others had already settled down. Zitao had pulled him down onto the last available seat upon spotting him, and Jongdae hadnít protested. At least being on a seat is better than being on the floor, since it is a good viewing point for watching the two Chinese members.
Jongdae watches as Yixing shifts in his sleep, face now pressed against Luhan's collarbone, including his open mouth. He's probably drooling, Jongdae notes, as Luhan's face scrunches up in disgust. The older Chinese man pushes the other away, climbing out of the chair and being pulled to the floor by Sehun and Jongin. Yixing startles a little, but quickly slumps over and falls back asleep. If it weren't for Zitao's arm holding him hostage, Jongdae would go over and offer his own shoulder, but unfortunately, he's trapped.
Later on, when everyone is going to bed, Jongdae consoles himself with the self-appointed task of getting Yixing to bed. He tries to not look too happy when the other crawls into Jongdae's bed with him, to tired to make the trek to his own room.
That night, Jongdae sleeps better than he has in a while, body pressed up against Yixing. He falls asleep to the gentle rise and fall of Yixing's chest, nose breathing in a faint musky smell. It's the perfect way to end any day.
~*~
When Jongdae wakes the next morning, Yixing is already gone. It's not much of a surprise, as EXO-M's lead dancer tends to wake early to squeeze in extra practice. It doesn't take Jongdae long to find him.
He's just stepped into the kitchen, still groggy from having just woken up, and is desperately in need of some coffee. Instead, he's greeted with the sight of Yixing hanging off of Joonmyun, EXO's leader leaning away slightly. From this angle, all Jongdae can see is Yixing's head pressed against Joonmyun's neck, most likely placing light pecks along pale skin.
“Yah, what do you think you're doing!” Joonmyun demands, gently pushing Yixing away. His cheeks are flushed as he glances at the Chinese man with narrowed eyes. “That's not going to change my mind!”
“But, Hyung!” Yixing whines, pouting. “I'm hungry.”
“You're more than welcome to make something yourself,” their leader grumbles, turning back to where he had been making himself a cup of coffee.
Yixing's response is to drape himself over Joonmyun again, complaining in his ear that he's too tired to cook. Jongdae decides that he's seen enough, and it's time to announce his presence.
“I'll make something for you Yixing-hyung, if you make me a cup of coffee,” he offers. It's an exchange that leaves him with the short end of the stick - Yixing's coffee making skills are †famous among the group for being spectacularly bland - but the grin Yixing shoots him makes it worth it. Even if it means having to dismiss Joonmyun's judging looks as he leaves the kitchen.
Jongdae grabs a pan and pulls ingredients out of the fridge, planning on making a fried kimchi stir-fry with an egg. He's just starting to chop up some leftover kimchi they had in the fridge when a cup of coffee is placed on the counter, arms wrapping around him from behind.
“Here you go, Jongdae-ah,” Yixing says into his ear, briefly tightening his grasp on Jongdae's waist but not letting go. Jongdae ignores how his chest flutters at their closeness, taking a large gulp of coffee before returning to his prepping.
Yixing continues to cling to Jongdae, much to the younger's secret delight, watching over his shoulder while quietly humming. It's comfortable, and Jongdae can't help but wish that their skinship actually meant something, but to do so would be foolish. He's not the only one Yixing sticks to, especially when both K and M are together.
Especially when there are certain maknaes hanging around, waiting for the opportunity to ruin Jongdae's alone time with Yixing.
Sehun drags his feet as he walks into the kitchen, shoulders slouched and eyes squinting. He's rubbing at them with the back of his hand when stumbles up to the duo, leaning heavily on Yixing. Jongdae grunts, unprepared for the added weight behind him, and gets ready to scold the youngest only to have Sehun speak up first.
“Xing-hyung,” he mumbles, the words barely discernible. Yixing must have understood though, because in the next moment he's pulling away from Jongdae to herd their maknae towards the table.
Jongdae scowls.
He hears Yixing offer to make Sehun a cup of coffee, which the younger declines in favor of orange juice. As Yixing's busy getting Sehun his drink, Jongdae turns around to start placing plates on the table only to stop in his tracks when he notices Sehun staring at him. A similar smug grin to the one Luhan shot him the night before is on his face, sleepiness almost completely gone from his eyes.
The grin fades back to Sehun's default expression of apathy when Yixing returns, asking Sehun if he needs anything else. The boy shakes his head, grabbing Yixing's arm and drags him from the room, shouting out for Jongdae to let them know when breakfast is ready.
Jongdae curses out loud this time, stirring the fried rice with more force than necessary, almost missing the quiet tutting from behind him.
Luhan and Minseok enter the kitchen, both heading for the coffee pot while sending Jongdae knowing looks. As if Jongdae wasn't already in a bad enough mood, Luhan's presence was probably only going to make it worse.
“I hope you realize how obvious you're being,” Luhan starts, “I'm pretty sure everyone knows you're sporting a little crush on Yixing, except for maybe Yixing himself.”
Minseok snorts, “I'm not sure I'd call it a little crush.”
They both chuckle, sharing a look that Jongdae knows means bad news for him, and turn towards the younger male.
“If you really do like Yixing, you should just tell him,” Minseok advises him, reaching for a bag of coffee grinds. “You never know how Yixing will respond until you do. Besides, his reaction might surprise you.”
“And how exactly am I suppose to start that conversation? Do I just walk up to him and say, ‘Hey, Yixing, I really like you’? Because that sounds like it would be uncomfortably awkward,” Jongdae retorts. It's not as if he hasn't thought about confessing before, he's just not sure how to go about doing so. What makes it even harder is that trying to corner Yixing when the Chinese man is by himself, and not cuddled up to one of the other members, is almost impossible.
“You could be even more direct and tell him to stop being so touchy-feely with anyone who isn't you. Don't forget to mention it's because you're jealous,” Luhan suggests, wide grin stretching across his face unattractively.
“Yeah, sure. I'll do just that,” Jongdae responds flatly. Like hell he will.
Luhan shrugs his shoulders, lips pursed. “Hey, you asked. It's not my fault you don't want to take our advice. If you want to hear something different, you're on your own. Or maybe you can ask one of the others.”
The two depart, leaving Jongdae by himself as he begins plating the food he prepared. He calls Yixing over and the two enjoy a quiet meal, Jongdae lost in thought while Yixing hums pleasantly around every bite he eats.
As much as he doesn't want to outright confess to Yixing, Luhan and Minseok have a point. He's on his own unless he wants to ask one of the others for advice, which he doesn't. He can only imagine the sort of advice Baekhyun or Chanyeol might give, and it doesn't sit well with him.
~*~
Later that day, as Jongdae is getting ready to leave the dorm for more practice with Liyin-noona, he catches sight of something that has his jealousy rearing its ugly head again.
Curled up on the living room couch are Yixing and Yifan, both of whom are exchanging words in rapid Mandarin. It's too fast for Jongdae to understand what they're saying, but seeing how cozy Yixing looks curled up against Yifan's side makes Jongdae feel uneasy.
Yifan spots him first, nodding his head in acknowledgment, alerting Yixing to his presence. Yixing waves, bright smile lighting up his face.
“Have fun with Liyin-jie!”
“Yes, Hyung,” Jongdae dutifully replies. He's not sulking as he walks through the door. Much.
The image of Yifan and Yixing curled up on the couch is seared in Jongdae's memory, haunting him for the journey to the studio as well as during practice. Normally during practice he stays focused on the matter at hand, allowing his singing to distract him from anything bothersome. But not this time.
They're barely five minutes in, Liyin having to correct Jongdae's pronunciation of words he hasn't had a problem with before, when the older woman finally intervenes.
“What's wrong, Jongdae-ah? Your pronunciation is usually better than this,” she observes, watching Jongdae in concern.
“I'm sorry, Noona,” Jongdae apologizes, “I'm a little distracted today, but I'll work harder to focus.”
Looking curious now, Liyin asks, “Oh? What are you thinking about that has you so distracted?”
“Some of the other EXO members gave me advice this morning,” Jongdae frowns. Despite dismissing the advice when Minseok and Luhan had given it to him earlier, he now couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't help but suspect that maybe the two knew something he didn't, maybe even about Yixing.
“What kind of advice?”
“Uhh. . .”
“Hm, must be embarrassing to turn you that red,” Liyin teases. “That's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”
“It's not that, Noona,” Jongdae says quickly, deciding to tell her. Besides, any advice that Liyin can give him will probably be better than anything he hears from the other members of EXO. “It's just. . . I like someone, and everyone seems to know except for the person I like. Minseok-hyung and Luhan-hyung both told me to tell the person, but I don't really. . .” Jongdae trails off, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you thinking about following their advice? Because it sounds good to me, how else are you going to know if you have a chance? Nothing is gained without taking any risks.”
Jongdae feels his resolve start to cave; when put like that, he can understand Minseok's advice. He still doesn't want to follow through with it, his mind supplying him images of embarrassing confrontations with Yixing. But maybe it would be worth it.
There was only one way to find out.
~*~
All it takes to practically crumble the little resolve Jongdae gathered is walking into the dorm only to find both Baekhyun and Chanyeol hovering over Yixing at the station where Yixing composes music. If there is one thing Yixing has made clear, is that he doesn't like being interrupted when composing. Regardless of if the two other K members are bothering him or are listening to Yixing's newest creation, Jongdae's presence will probably be unwelcome.
Which sucks because he had planned on spiriting Yixing away first thing upon returning, so as to get the upcoming conversation out of the way before he chickened out. Which is looking more and more likely to happen.
Jongdae isn't sure how long he stands at the entrance way, frantically debating internally on what to do, but it must be a while because Joonmyun is suddenly standing in front of him looking a mix of concern and exasperation.
“You okay?” the shorter male asks.
“Fine,” Jongdae says, cringing when he hears his voice squeak.
Joonmyun's eyebrows raise in disbelief. “Then why are you standing in the entrance way, looking like you want to run away?”
“What? I don't want to run away,” Jongdae chuckled nervously. In his effort to avoid Joonmyun's gaze, he catches sight of Baekhyun and Chanyeol leaving, while Yixing stands up to stretch. If this is his only chance, he needs to take it, especially if it means avoiding Joonmyun's worried inquires.
“I'm fine, Hyung. I'll explain it later, but I have something I need to do now.”
Jongdae pats Joonmyun on the shoulder as he walks by, making a beeline for Yixing who smiles when he notices him approach.
“Jongdae-ah.”
“Hi, Yixing-hyung. Do you think we can talk for a second? Somewhere privately?”
Yixing looks surprised, following closely behind him to Jongdae's bedroom. It's only after the door is shut, that Yixing says anything.
“A second is awfully quick, you think we have time to talk?” he jokes.
Jongdae flushes, “That isn't what I meant, and you know it.” He sits on his bed, stomach twisting nervously when Yixing takes a seat next to him.
“You're right,” Yixing grins. “What did you want to talk about?”
Taking a deep breath, Jongdae turns to face the other. He can do this. Maybe even without rambling . . . or not.
“So, you know how you're always cuddling up with everyone and kissing them in weird places, like their neck or check or wherever? Not that I'm complaining, but you should probably be more selective in who you cuddle with... Maybe? I mean, let's face it, Luhan's probably an evil faerie, so you shouldn't get too close to him. Sehun too, I don't care if he's the maknae, he's high on my suspicious list. And sometimes I question Minseok-hyung's intentions, because we all consider him great and all, but that doesn't mean he's a saint.”
Jongdae cuts himself off there, noticing that Yixing's facial expression hasn't changed once since the beginning of his rant. He curses himself for speaking too quickly, Yixing probably having missed most of that conversation.
“Sorry,” he winces. “What I mean to say is that I don't want you cuddling with anyone else. Just me.”
Yixing finally blinks, but still looks lost. “You don't like it when I'm with the other members?”
Well, this isn't going according to plan, Jongdae thinks as he fights the urge to flee the room. “Just cuddling, and physically hanging off of them. You can still hang out with them, but does there have to be so much touching?”
Red flags raise in Jongdae's mind when Yixing chuckles, smiling wide enough to clearly display his dimple. The sight of it would normally have him squealing internally, but instead all Jongdae feels is alarm.
“Only you, huh? That's cute, Jongdae-ah. I never pictured you as the possessive type.”
Jongdae pouts. “I'm not possessive. I just want our cuddling to mean something more, instead †of just a means to satisfy your skinship needs.”
“Doesnít it already mean something more?” Yixing asks, head tilting slightly to the left. The gesture makes him look confused, though Jongdae isnít sure why he would be.
“But you cuddle with everyone else too! Why would it mean something more with me!” Jongdae complains.
Yixing chuckles. “I only cuddle with the others for fans or when I want something. Like this morning, when I was trying to get Joonmyun-hyung to make me breakfast. I didnít mean anything else by it.”
Oh, that certainly makes sense to Jongdae. But it still doesnít explain everything.
“What about this afternoon, when you and Yifan-hyung were on the couch talking.”
“We were talking about you, Jongdae.” Yixingís cheeks turn pink, his hands starting to fidget on his lap. “Duizhang was asking what was going on between us. He wanted to make sure that whatever was going on, wasnít going to interfere with the group.”
“I know we never talked about what this is,” Yixing continues, gesturing between themselves, “but I assumed there was more going on. I see the way you look at me sometimes, and that combined with how I feel-”
Yixingís sentence trails off, but Jongdae knows what the dancer is trying to say.
“Oh.”
“I mean, that is what you meant, right? When you said that you didnít want me cuddling with the others?” Yixing starts babbling, hands fidgeting more frequently. Heís licking his lips, tongue poking out just long enough to wet a section of skin, and Jongdae thinks itís a sign heís nervous.
“Of course,” he nods his head. Jongdae reaches forward with one hand, running his fingers through Yixingís hair to smooth it down. When heís done, he brings his hand to Yixingís lap, laying it on a still twitching hand.
“Good,” Yixing is smiling brightly at him. He turns his hand over, allowing Jongdae to interlace their fingers together. Yixingís palm is warm and Jongdae feeling his heart thump harder in response.
“Now that thatís settled, do you think we can rejoin the others in the living room?” Yixing asks.
“Sure,” Jongdae answers. “As long as thereís no cuddling with Luhan.”
Title: Only Me
Pairing: Chen/Lay
Rating: G
Word Count: 3038
Summary: Jongdae wants to be the only one Yixing cuddles with and kisses.
Author's Note: Thank you to my beta for reading through this!
Jongdae likes to think he's being discreet, casually looking across the room to where two of his fellow EXO members are curled up into each other. It's another movie night in the dorms, a rare occasion when everyone is free of schedules, and all 12 of them are sprawled out on furniture or the floor. The room is dark, lit only by the movie, aiding Jongdae in his secret staring.
Squished together in a chair are Yixing and Luhan, the younger curled up against the other's side, head lolling on his shoulder. There's an arm draped loosely over Luhan's stomach, while the arm around the waist of EXO-M's lead dancer seems to tighten possessively. During bright scenes of the movie, Jongdae can see how Yixing's eyes are closed and his mouth is gaping open, a clear sign that he's no longer awake. Jongdae wants to be in Luhan's place, gently cradling Yixing in his arms whilst the other sleeps. But he's not.
Luhan is currently shooting him a smug grin.
It's not fair, and Jongdae wants to whine at the injustice of the situation. He had been the last one to arrive at the dorm due to vocal practice with Liyin-noona, and by then most of the others had already settled down. Zitao had pulled him down onto the last available seat upon spotting him, and Jongdae hadnít protested. At least being on a seat is better than being on the floor, since it is a good viewing point for watching the two Chinese members.
Jongdae watches as Yixing shifts in his sleep, face now pressed against Luhan's collarbone, including his open mouth. He's probably drooling, Jongdae notes, as Luhan's face scrunches up in disgust. The older Chinese man pushes the other away, climbing out of the chair and being pulled to the floor by Sehun and Jongin. Yixing startles a little, but quickly slumps over and falls back asleep. If it weren't for Zitao's arm holding him hostage, Jongdae would go over and offer his own shoulder, but unfortunately, he's trapped.
Later on, when everyone is going to bed, Jongdae consoles himself with the self-appointed task of getting Yixing to bed. He tries to not look too happy when the other crawls into Jongdae's bed with him, to tired to make the trek to his own room.
That night, Jongdae sleeps better than he has in a while, body pressed up against Yixing. He falls asleep to the gentle rise and fall of Yixing's chest, nose breathing in a faint musky smell. It's the perfect way to end any day.
~*~
When Jongdae wakes the next morning, Yixing is already gone. It's not much of a surprise, as EXO-M's lead dancer tends to wake early to squeeze in extra practice. It doesn't take Jongdae long to find him.
He's just stepped into the kitchen, still groggy from having just woken up, and is desperately in need of some coffee. Instead, he's greeted with the sight of Yixing hanging off of Joonmyun, EXO's leader leaning away slightly. From this angle, all Jongdae can see is Yixing's head pressed against Joonmyun's neck, most likely placing light pecks along pale skin.
“Yah, what do you think you're doing!” Joonmyun demands, gently pushing Yixing away. His cheeks are flushed as he glances at the Chinese man with narrowed eyes. “That's not going to change my mind!”
“But, Hyung!” Yixing whines, pouting. “I'm hungry.”
“You're more than welcome to make something yourself,” their leader grumbles, turning back to where he had been making himself a cup of coffee.
Yixing's response is to drape himself over Joonmyun again, complaining in his ear that he's too tired to cook. Jongdae decides that he's seen enough, and it's time to announce his presence.
“I'll make something for you Yixing-hyung, if you make me a cup of coffee,” he offers. It's an exchange that leaves him with the short end of the stick - Yixing's coffee making skills are †famous among the group for being spectacularly bland - but the grin Yixing shoots him makes it worth it. Even if it means having to dismiss Joonmyun's judging looks as he leaves the kitchen.
Jongdae grabs a pan and pulls ingredients out of the fridge, planning on making a fried kimchi stir-fry with an egg. He's just starting to chop up some leftover kimchi they had in the fridge when a cup of coffee is placed on the counter, arms wrapping around him from behind.
“Here you go, Jongdae-ah,” Yixing says into his ear, briefly tightening his grasp on Jongdae's waist but not letting go. Jongdae ignores how his chest flutters at their closeness, taking a large gulp of coffee before returning to his prepping.
Yixing continues to cling to Jongdae, much to the younger's secret delight, watching over his shoulder while quietly humming. It's comfortable, and Jongdae can't help but wish that their skinship actually meant something, but to do so would be foolish. He's not the only one Yixing sticks to, especially when both K and M are together.
Especially when there are certain maknaes hanging around, waiting for the opportunity to ruin Jongdae's alone time with Yixing.
Sehun drags his feet as he walks into the kitchen, shoulders slouched and eyes squinting. He's rubbing at them with the back of his hand when stumbles up to the duo, leaning heavily on Yixing. Jongdae grunts, unprepared for the added weight behind him, and gets ready to scold the youngest only to have Sehun speak up first.
“Xing-hyung,” he mumbles, the words barely discernible. Yixing must have understood though, because in the next moment he's pulling away from Jongdae to herd their maknae towards the table.
Jongdae scowls.
He hears Yixing offer to make Sehun a cup of coffee, which the younger declines in favor of orange juice. As Yixing's busy getting Sehun his drink, Jongdae turns around to start placing plates on the table only to stop in his tracks when he notices Sehun staring at him. A similar smug grin to the one Luhan shot him the night before is on his face, sleepiness almost completely gone from his eyes.
The grin fades back to Sehun's default expression of apathy when Yixing returns, asking Sehun if he needs anything else. The boy shakes his head, grabbing Yixing's arm and drags him from the room, shouting out for Jongdae to let them know when breakfast is ready.
Jongdae curses out loud this time, stirring the fried rice with more force than necessary, almost missing the quiet tutting from behind him.
Luhan and Minseok enter the kitchen, both heading for the coffee pot while sending Jongdae knowing looks. As if Jongdae wasn't already in a bad enough mood, Luhan's presence was probably only going to make it worse.
“I hope you realize how obvious you're being,” Luhan starts, “I'm pretty sure everyone knows you're sporting a little crush on Yixing, except for maybe Yixing himself.”
Minseok snorts, “I'm not sure I'd call it a little crush.”
They both chuckle, sharing a look that Jongdae knows means bad news for him, and turn towards the younger male.
“If you really do like Yixing, you should just tell him,” Minseok advises him, reaching for a bag of coffee grinds. “You never know how Yixing will respond until you do. Besides, his reaction might surprise you.”
“And how exactly am I suppose to start that conversation? Do I just walk up to him and say, ‘Hey, Yixing, I really like you’? Because that sounds like it would be uncomfortably awkward,” Jongdae retorts. It's not as if he hasn't thought about confessing before, he's just not sure how to go about doing so. What makes it even harder is that trying to corner Yixing when the Chinese man is by himself, and not cuddled up to one of the other members, is almost impossible.
“You could be even more direct and tell him to stop being so touchy-feely with anyone who isn't you. Don't forget to mention it's because you're jealous,” Luhan suggests, wide grin stretching across his face unattractively.
“Yeah, sure. I'll do just that,” Jongdae responds flatly. Like hell he will.
Luhan shrugs his shoulders, lips pursed. “Hey, you asked. It's not my fault you don't want to take our advice. If you want to hear something different, you're on your own. Or maybe you can ask one of the others.”
The two depart, leaving Jongdae by himself as he begins plating the food he prepared. He calls Yixing over and the two enjoy a quiet meal, Jongdae lost in thought while Yixing hums pleasantly around every bite he eats.
As much as he doesn't want to outright confess to Yixing, Luhan and Minseok have a point. He's on his own unless he wants to ask one of the others for advice, which he doesn't. He can only imagine the sort of advice Baekhyun or Chanyeol might give, and it doesn't sit well with him.
~*~
Later that day, as Jongdae is getting ready to leave the dorm for more practice with Liyin-noona, he catches sight of something that has his jealousy rearing its ugly head again.
Curled up on the living room couch are Yixing and Yifan, both of whom are exchanging words in rapid Mandarin. It's too fast for Jongdae to understand what they're saying, but seeing how cozy Yixing looks curled up against Yifan's side makes Jongdae feel uneasy.
Yifan spots him first, nodding his head in acknowledgment, alerting Yixing to his presence. Yixing waves, bright smile lighting up his face.
“Have fun with Liyin-jie!”
“Yes, Hyung,” Jongdae dutifully replies. He's not sulking as he walks through the door. Much.
The image of Yifan and Yixing curled up on the couch is seared in Jongdae's memory, haunting him for the journey to the studio as well as during practice. Normally during practice he stays focused on the matter at hand, allowing his singing to distract him from anything bothersome. But not this time.
They're barely five minutes in, Liyin having to correct Jongdae's pronunciation of words he hasn't had a problem with before, when the older woman finally intervenes.
“What's wrong, Jongdae-ah? Your pronunciation is usually better than this,” she observes, watching Jongdae in concern.
“I'm sorry, Noona,” Jongdae apologizes, “I'm a little distracted today, but I'll work harder to focus.”
Looking curious now, Liyin asks, “Oh? What are you thinking about that has you so distracted?”
“Some of the other EXO members gave me advice this morning,” Jongdae frowns. Despite dismissing the advice when Minseok and Luhan had given it to him earlier, he now couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't help but suspect that maybe the two knew something he didn't, maybe even about Yixing.
“What kind of advice?”
“Uhh. . .”
“Hm, must be embarrassing to turn you that red,” Liyin teases. “That's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”
“It's not that, Noona,” Jongdae says quickly, deciding to tell her. Besides, any advice that Liyin can give him will probably be better than anything he hears from the other members of EXO. “It's just. . . I like someone, and everyone seems to know except for the person I like. Minseok-hyung and Luhan-hyung both told me to tell the person, but I don't really. . .” Jongdae trails off, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you thinking about following their advice? Because it sounds good to me, how else are you going to know if you have a chance? Nothing is gained without taking any risks.”
Jongdae feels his resolve start to cave; when put like that, he can understand Minseok's advice. He still doesn't want to follow through with it, his mind supplying him images of embarrassing confrontations with Yixing. But maybe it would be worth it.
There was only one way to find out.
~*~
All it takes to practically crumble the little resolve Jongdae gathered is walking into the dorm only to find both Baekhyun and Chanyeol hovering over Yixing at the station where Yixing composes music. If there is one thing Yixing has made clear, is that he doesn't like being interrupted when composing. Regardless of if the two other K members are bothering him or are listening to Yixing's newest creation, Jongdae's presence will probably be unwelcome.
Which sucks because he had planned on spiriting Yixing away first thing upon returning, so as to get the upcoming conversation out of the way before he chickened out. Which is looking more and more likely to happen.
Jongdae isn't sure how long he stands at the entrance way, frantically debating internally on what to do, but it must be a while because Joonmyun is suddenly standing in front of him looking a mix of concern and exasperation.
“You okay?” the shorter male asks.
“Fine,” Jongdae says, cringing when he hears his voice squeak.
Joonmyun's eyebrows raise in disbelief. “Then why are you standing in the entrance way, looking like you want to run away?”
“What? I don't want to run away,” Jongdae chuckled nervously. In his effort to avoid Joonmyun's gaze, he catches sight of Baekhyun and Chanyeol leaving, while Yixing stands up to stretch. If this is his only chance, he needs to take it, especially if it means avoiding Joonmyun's worried inquires.
“I'm fine, Hyung. I'll explain it later, but I have something I need to do now.”
Jongdae pats Joonmyun on the shoulder as he walks by, making a beeline for Yixing who smiles when he notices him approach.
“Jongdae-ah.”
“Hi, Yixing-hyung. Do you think we can talk for a second? Somewhere privately?”
Yixing looks surprised, following closely behind him to Jongdae's bedroom. It's only after the door is shut, that Yixing says anything.
“A second is awfully quick, you think we have time to talk?” he jokes.
Jongdae flushes, “That isn't what I meant, and you know it.” He sits on his bed, stomach twisting nervously when Yixing takes a seat next to him.
“You're right,” Yixing grins. “What did you want to talk about?”
Taking a deep breath, Jongdae turns to face the other. He can do this. Maybe even without rambling . . . or not.
“So, you know how you're always cuddling up with everyone and kissing them in weird places, like their neck or check or wherever? Not that I'm complaining, but you should probably be more selective in who you cuddle with... Maybe? I mean, let's face it, Luhan's probably an evil faerie, so you shouldn't get too close to him. Sehun too, I don't care if he's the maknae, he's high on my suspicious list. And sometimes I question Minseok-hyung's intentions, because we all consider him great and all, but that doesn't mean he's a saint.”
Jongdae cuts himself off there, noticing that Yixing's facial expression hasn't changed once since the beginning of his rant. He curses himself for speaking too quickly, Yixing probably having missed most of that conversation.
“Sorry,” he winces. “What I mean to say is that I don't want you cuddling with anyone else. Just me.”
Yixing finally blinks, but still looks lost. “You don't like it when I'm with the other members?”
Well, this isn't going according to plan, Jongdae thinks as he fights the urge to flee the room. “Just cuddling, and physically hanging off of them. You can still hang out with them, but does there have to be so much touching?”
Red flags raise in Jongdae's mind when Yixing chuckles, smiling wide enough to clearly display his dimple. The sight of it would normally have him squealing internally, but instead all Jongdae feels is alarm.
“Only you, huh? That's cute, Jongdae-ah. I never pictured you as the possessive type.”
Jongdae pouts. “I'm not possessive. I just want our cuddling to mean something more, instead †of just a means to satisfy your skinship needs.”
“Doesnít it already mean something more?” Yixing asks, head tilting slightly to the left. The gesture makes him look confused, though Jongdae isnít sure why he would be.
“But you cuddle with everyone else too! Why would it mean something more with me!” Jongdae complains.
Yixing chuckles. “I only cuddle with the others for fans or when I want something. Like this morning, when I was trying to get Joonmyun-hyung to make me breakfast. I didnít mean anything else by it.”
Oh, that certainly makes sense to Jongdae. But it still doesnít explain everything.
“What about this afternoon, when you and Yifan-hyung were on the couch talking.”
“We were talking about you, Jongdae.” Yixingís cheeks turn pink, his hands starting to fidget on his lap. “Duizhang was asking what was going on between us. He wanted to make sure that whatever was going on, wasnít going to interfere with the group.”
“I know we never talked about what this is,” Yixing continues, gesturing between themselves, “but I assumed there was more going on. I see the way you look at me sometimes, and that combined with how I feel-”
Yixingís sentence trails off, but Jongdae knows what the dancer is trying to say.
“Oh.”
“I mean, that is what you meant, right? When you said that you didnít want me cuddling with the others?” Yixing starts babbling, hands fidgeting more frequently. Heís licking his lips, tongue poking out just long enough to wet a section of skin, and Jongdae thinks itís a sign heís nervous.
“Of course,” he nods his head. Jongdae reaches forward with one hand, running his fingers through Yixingís hair to smooth it down. When heís done, he brings his hand to Yixingís lap, laying it on a still twitching hand.
“Good,” Yixing is smiling brightly at him. He turns his hand over, allowing Jongdae to interlace their fingers together. Yixingís palm is warm and Jongdae feeling his heart thump harder in response.
“Now that thatís settled, do you think we can rejoin the others in the living room?” Yixing asks.
“Sure,” Jongdae answers. “As long as thereís no cuddling with Luhan.”