Comments | chasingtides: Meta: Brains Trumps Legs

chasingtides

Meta: Brains Trumps Legs

Nov 01, 2009 16:01

( One thing I've learned: There's really no end to some people's ablism )

Comments 27

Here from Heavy Meta sistermagpie November 1 2009, 22:35:05 UTC

I hadn't read any of the other reactions you're talking about, but reading this I just wanted to say that I had the exact same reaction you did. I would have thought it was completely unbelievable if Bobby wasn't angry. I imagined it would be the definition of frustrating, the way that he suddenly has taken away an ability he's always taken for granted. It maybe sounds dismissive to just call it an inconvenience but it seems like it would be a huge inconvenience--as we see with the stairs. He's just as smart and committed as before, but not being able to move around as easily as he once did is just a big wall in front of him he'd constantly have to get around ( ... )

blackcat333_99 November 1 2009, 22:36:59 UTC

This was an interesting read. I'm thinking a little harder about my own wording when I discussed Bobby's attitude and headspace in my own review. Because I did say that I felt he was throwing a pity party. Those might have been ill-judged words. My reason for calling it that, however, was not because Bobby was angry and upset about being handicapped. But because of his suicidal "wish I had the guts to put a shotgun in my mouth" part of it. And that part is integrated with the very healthy anger and frustration side of it. I agree with you that if Bobby wasn't having problems adjusting it would be beyond a copout on the writers' part. It feels real to me, that he's not happy. And that he's allowed to complain. And I loved that Dean let him know that that part of it was okay and understandable (his agreement with Bobby that he'd be complaining all the time if it were him). It was the suicidal aspect that Dean (and I) had a problem with -- not in terms of it being an unrealistic psychological reaction, but in terms that it is ( ... )

chasingtides November 1 2009, 23:09:46 UTC

Bobby expresses suicidal thoughts - which, fyi, aren't uncommon among people who've recently been told stuff like, "By the way, you'll never be able to walk again," - yet he's been living alone for months and has ready access to more ways to kill himself than I could probably imagine. Since he a) hasn't killed himself and b) has clearly been leading an active life up to and including learning how to drive again, I would say his outburst is more of an expression of anger and feeling useless than an actual risk of him putting a gun in his mouth soon. (This not to say that Dean's reaction of "WTFNO" is out of place - it's totally on the money. I just don't see Bobby doing that any time soon ( ... )

chasingtides November 1 2009, 23:22:59 UTC

Also, don't think I'm just picking on you. I'm serious when I said I've seen this a ton a places.

blackcat333_99 November 1 2009, 23:32:09 UTC

No worries -- like I said, it is making me think a little more on the subject, and that's a good thing. I don't have a problem with being challenged with a different viewpoint or opinion when it comes from a logical and reasonable place. I have my own family history of loved ones who are currently dealing with serious health issues and how it plays into their psychological state of mind, and how connected all that can be, and it does color my own perspective a bit because I'm coming at it from a slightly angle, I guess. I tend to welcome thoughts that make me think harder. And yes, I read a few other reactions that were quite unsympathetic on fronts that made me scratch me head, so I can only imagine what else is out there in fandom.

missyjack November 1 2009, 22:41:17 UTC

I very much agree about how the writer's have portrayed Bobby's paralysis. They both explored his depression and despair, an struggle at adapting to how to conceive of himself in this changed state. At the same time, he has not been helpless or passive (he's obv been managing at home by himself and is able to drive). A good mix.

I like that you bring out the parallels between Dean adn Bobby too, because I do think they are both learning a different way of being, and that need others is not weakness.

ann1962 November 1 2009, 23:08:39 UTC

I thought how Bobby was feeling was absolutely genuine and realistic. This post is a very good explanation of it. Thank you.

callie_828 November 1 2009, 23:13:24 UTC

My initial reaction to the fact that people would ever think Bobby shouldn't be angry/frustrated/upset or that an out-of-order elevator is somehow unrealistic is shock. I haven't seen this reaction anywhere, but if I had, I'm sure I would've been absolutely dumbfounded. Maybe someone who is ablebodied can't understand entirely what someone with a disability goes through, but one can certainly imagine it. If someone asked me how I feel if I woke up tomorrow and my legs didn't work, the fact that I've always had working legs wouldn't change my answer in the slightest. I'd be horrified. And angry. And frustrated. And that would be before I even had to get out of bed and tackle the world without them ( ... )