This was an interesting read. I'm thinking a little harder about my own wording when I discussed Bobby's attitude and headspace in my own review. Because I did say that I felt he was throwing a pity party. Those might have been ill-judged words. My reason for calling it that, however, was not because Bobby was angry and upset about being handicapped. But because of his suicidal "wish I had the guts to put a shotgun in my mouth" part of it. And that part is integrated with the very healthy anger and frustration side of it. I agree with you that if Bobby wasn't having problems adjusting it would be beyond a copout on the writers' part. It feels real to me, that he's not happy. And that he's allowed to complain. And I loved that Dean let him know that that part of it was okay and understandable (his agreement with Bobby that he'd be complaining all the time if it were him). It was the suicidal aspect that Dean (and I) had a problem with -- not in terms of it being an unrealistic psychological reaction, but in terms that it is a challenge Bobby's going to have to work with and overcome. My brother makes prosthetics and orthotics for people with various injuries and disabilities, including amputations, and he's said that most commonly there are two kinds of attitudes he sees from the patients he fits. Those who are pushing to move on, become indepednent, find their new normal. And those who are depressed, often to the point of wishing they were just dead instead of disabled.
Anyway, thanks for the extra food for thought on the aspect of a subject many (myself included) could maybe give a little more thought to.
Bobby expresses suicidal thoughts - which, fyi, aren't uncommon among people who've recently been told stuff like, "By the way, you'll never be able to walk again," - yet he's been living alone for months and has ready access to more ways to kill himself than I could probably imagine. Since he a) hasn't killed himself and b) has clearly been leading an active life up to and including learning how to drive again, I would say his outburst is more of an expression of anger and feeling useless than an actual risk of him putting a gun in his mouth soon. (This not to say that Dean's reaction of "WTFNO" is out of place - it's totally on the money. I just don't see Bobby doing that any time soon.)
Additionally, you are assuming that "pushing to move on" and "depressed" are two entirely separate, mutually exclusive camps. They aren't. I lead an active life and do things and obviously talk about how disability doesn't mean you can't do anything with your life. On the other hand, there are times I've literally cried myself to sleep because there are things I will never, ever be able to do, no matter how much I want to do them. For Bobby, hunting with Sam and Dean, who both have use of their legs, could very easily be a reminder of what he can never have.
No worries -- like I said, it is making me think a little more on the subject, and that's a good thing. I don't have a problem with being challenged with a different viewpoint or opinion when it comes from a logical and reasonable place. I have my own family history of loved ones who are currently dealing with serious health issues and how it plays into their psychological state of mind, and how connected all that can be, and it does color my own perspective a bit because I'm coming at it from a slightly angle, I guess. I tend to welcome thoughts that make me think harder. And yes, I read a few other reactions that were quite unsympathetic on fronts that made me scratch me head, so I can only imagine what else is out there in fandom.
Anyway, thanks for the extra food for thought on the aspect of a subject many (myself included) could maybe give a little more thought to.
Reply
Additionally, you are assuming that "pushing to move on" and "depressed" are two entirely separate, mutually exclusive camps. They aren't. I lead an active life and do things and obviously talk about how disability doesn't mean you can't do anything with your life. On the other hand, there are times I've literally cried myself to sleep because there are things I will never, ever be able to do, no matter how much I want to do them. For Bobby, hunting with Sam and Dean, who both have use of their legs, could very easily be a reminder of what he can never have.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment