I wish I was. But I never will be. And it makes me sick. Fuck.

I wish that things never had to become complicated. But they do. They always do, and they always will. But I still love you. And we're okay. And that's all I need.

I fucking hate it.

I look in the mirror and I don't see the person who I think I am, sometimes I don't even think it's what others see. Or maybe they do, and they just lie to me because they care about me. I don't even know what is more important to work on, the me in the mirror or the me inside my head.

Life as of now is alright. My head is killing me though. I'm painting my room hot pink and orange. The orange is half done and it looks fucking a m a z i n g . I can not wait until it's finished. So hott. Some other things are real rocky right now, but it will be okay. I'm still unemployed but I have my 2nd interview at Red ( Read more... )

It's been a while. 25 days until my birthday!! Gosh I can not wait. Anways, that's about it for my life right now to tell the truth. I'm boring, I know.

Mmmmmmmm. Just checking in I guess. My computer is clearly on it's way out. My ass is extremely sunburnt. I'm getting really sick and tired of the shit I have to put up with at work, I know it's teaching me patience and tolerance but...I don't have much. 20 months is coming up real fucking fast.

This week has been so bad. I don't mean to say stuff alot of times, sometimes I don't even fully mean what I say. Why do I retaliate when I know people don't even mean things how I take them? I feel like I'm losing everything I've worked for. I just screw stuff up, all the stuff I care about. I love you.

SNOW DAY!!

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The Jewish Home-off today!!

When does this ever happen to me? A day to just sit at home with my mom and drink hot cocoa and watch girly movies, I'm excited.

Today is such a pointless day. I guess I'll get a lot of knitting done. Can't wait for Harry Potter tonight with David!! Maybe I will buy a new outfit first? I sent in my check to Millersville. Sweatpants and sweatshirts are g-d's gift to cool kids like me.