fyi:
the majority of my journal is friends-only. not on purpose, it just seems to be where i'm heading in my entries lately.

sorry?

(i'm trying the date-out-of-order trick in this entry so it shows up at the top of my journal. if it keeps showing up at the top of your friend's page, let me know and i'll delete it)

( Read more... )

that i !
am updating!
from my bedroom!
because i have a computer again!

HA! its only been a year.

because i was sad, planless, because it's faster to get there than to most places in manhattan, and because i was anxious about all of this love from everyone and i couldn't stop thinking about my grandmother who died correctly and my cousin who died all wrong, i took the train to coney island yesterday ( Read more... )

there has been another death in my extended family. we weren't prepared for this one.

i need to take a break from the internet for a while.

my grandmother's death was very special. drama and tension aside, those of us who mattered the most pulled together as a family and were able to be as much a part of her death as she was a part of our lives. i'm bursting with things to say about the whole process - it was grotesque, it was spiritual, it was intense - but right now i'm exhausted and ( Read more... )

i'm in vermont. my grandmother is dying.

we are all here, hovering over her bed, rolling her over, wetting her lips. my mother is a robot, and my sister is the sweetest nurse.

my dearest friends... if any of you outlive me, please don't let me die slowly.

new yorkers are unnaturally obsessed with and reliant upon two things: umbrellas and straws.

umbrellas: i totally get wanting an umbrella when you're walking and it's raining outside. no problem. but snow? fluffy harmless snow? today a stranger with an umbrella offered to walk me to wherever i was going and i responded "no thank you, i'm from ( Read more... )

"I can only remember two things," I say. "That the town I lived in had no wall around it, and that our shadows followed us wherever we walked ( Read more... )

the saddest thing - my favorite boots broke. the zipper just went kaput. i had these babies for 3+ years and wore them all the time. they had a great life, considering i got them on sale at hot topic for $35 ( Read more... )