Still more poly links

[chanaleh]

I always think these posts will be "last one for a while", but there's just more coming up all the time. :-}

This whole Tiger Woods thing is causing a fair bit of commentary from the non-monogamy faction (much as the whole Bill Clinton thing did 12 years ago). But in particular, I couldn't not repost the one from my fandom object Jay Michaelson,

Comments

[jbsegal]

“Some weeks back…”
That's cyan_blue's paper.

[chanaleh]

Er, well, I know -- that was how it came up. But I didn't know if she wanted that publicly associated. >:-)

Ah, but I see she links to her professional webpage from her LJ, so OK.

(I haven't met her, but I know she visited Boston recently!)

[chanaleh]

Glad to be of service. :-)

[lillibet]

That's a heartbreaking article. As the parent of a small child, the idea of being so cruel, of attempting to control so absolutely the direction and content of a child's most important work--their play--is just shocking and awful.

[bluepapercup]

was the first time in my life when I regularly contemplated what would be the most practical, i.e. effective, way of killing myself.

*huge hug*

I have been there. It maybe wasn't really totally about non-monogamy for me (though that turned out to be part of it!) I was at that point at the end of my relationship with Ben. There was also a point where I regularly fantasized about his untimely death as well, so that I wouldn't have to deal with our situation anymore and I couldn't be at fault for ending it.

Er. Anyway. What I mean, is, you're not alone in feeling the ways you have felt. Thank you for sharing, and letting us be here to witness your honesty.

[chanaleh]

It maybe wasn't really totally about non-monogamy for me

Well, it certainly wasn't TOTALLY about non-monogamy for me either. But that was the Deal-Breaker. The part that made *him* say "oh, no, everything else you might be to me doesn't matter, nothing I can do here."

[chuckro]

I'm groggy and probably not parsing correctly, but I feel like the most important lesson I learned from watching my parents' marriage (nearly 36 years at this point) is that you cannot, and should not, expect to be everything for your partner. That's why you also have friends, after all.

Most couples (which includes Jethrien and I) tend to exclude romance/sexuality from the things that you can get elsewhere. But as Dan Savage constantly notes, there's no reason that has to be so.

[muffyjo]

Thank you for these, I find them very helpful. I want to pass them along to my therapist so I'm especially pleased about the one for therapists!