In the UK it's common practice for everyone to hold doors for each other at need. If at work, for instance, I (female) will hold a door for a female or a male co-worker and they will hold doors for me. If someone is carrying a load or is clearly struggling, the door-holding imperative is even more mannerly.
I love that this happens as a matter of course and that thanks are exchanged (although it does lead to some ridiculous exchanges if you're going the same way as someone and there happen to be a lot of doors to go through). Because you're right, it's about respect for others and treating others with kindness, and this world can only use more of that.
Amen. Simple decency, courtesy, kindness, and unselfishness would be a great start.
I'm a male who holds doors for everyone - man, woman, child. It's simply what one does; treating others with respect, whether in speech (agreement or disagreement) or in one's behavior toward them, is not (in my opinion) optional.
I (female) hold doors open for everyone and in my little hick Canadian town I get funny looks when I open the door for a Tough Manly Man (I've even had guys take the other door rather than let a female hold the door open for them).
I've baffled so many people, because I will hold the door for any- and everyone, as the situation allows. If they're coming out, I'll hold the door so they can exit. If they're right behind me, I'll open the door and step aside and let them in first. If I see them behind me within a reasonable distance, I'll at least keep the door open until they get within grabbing range. And that applies to men, women, young folks, old folks, people with packages, people with strollers... it's automatic courtesy, and I thank my father for instilling that in me. And yes, I like it when I get that nod or smile of thanks, that acknowledgment that we're all sharing the same world - who doesn't like warm fuzzy feelings? :>
(It's always fun when I'll get to a door at the same time as someone else, and there's a tiny jockeying for position to see who holds the door for whom... and if there's a second door, airlock style, the favor gets reciprocated. )
I hate to break it to you, but your world view is skewed.
"HOLD THE DAMN DOORS"?? I'm happy to hold doors for anyone and everyone as a common courtesy, but if you think having breasts gives you the right to expect doors to be held for you, you're just as gender-biased as the so-called "rape culture" you've created in your mind. Do you really think having breasts gives you special rights over anyone else? I've seen women I don't know, their hands unburdened, walk up to a closed door then stop and wait for me to get there, fully expecting that I will open the door for them. I'm not sure why they believe they are somehow deserving of special treatment merely because they're female, but it's as sexist as if I expected her to iron my shirt just because she's female.
No one deserves to be abused, especially not as a child. But it seems you still have issues that need to be worked through.
I show respect every time I hold a door for someone. I do it for everyone, young and old, male and female, black and white and purple and green. If someone has their hands full or has a physical handicap I'll hustle to get there faster.
It is my privilege to offer that show of respect.
I'm appreciative when someone chooses to offer me the same show of respect.
It is not your right to demand a show of respect from me on the basis of your gender.
It's a logical interpretations when you don't leave out the part of her comment that preceded your quote:
Men: HOLD THE DAMN DOORS. And teach your sons to do it. a) it's good manners. b) it will teach your sons to be aware that women are not just empty shells with breasts, and that they deserve to be treated with respect.
Or, in simple words, men are supposed to hold doors for women, and that will somehow magically teach them that women are... what? Special? More deserving of respect than others?
If she wants to say that everyone is deserving of that respect, I'd agree with her. But she was using it specifically in the context of something men are supposed to do to show respect for women. That's asking for special rights because of your gender.
The word used is respect. Not more respect. Just respect.
Also if we're talking about context it might help to note the context of the post. Namely that it's talking about the prevalence of rape due to deep seated attitudes of lack of respect for women. You might remember the mention of 'rape culture' which you implied was entirely imagined by the commenter in question.
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I love that this happens as a matter of course and that thanks are exchanged (although it does lead to some ridiculous exchanges if you're going the same way as someone and there happen to be a lot of doors to go through). Because you're right, it's about respect for others and treating others with kindness, and this world can only use more of that.
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I'm a male who holds doors for everyone - man, woman, child. It's simply what one does; treating others with respect, whether in speech (agreement or disagreement) or in one's behavior toward them, is not (in my opinion) optional.
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(It's always fun when I'll get to a door at the same time as someone else, and there's a tiny jockeying for position to see who holds the door for whom... and if there's a second door, airlock style, the favor gets reciprocated. )
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"HOLD THE DAMN DOORS"?? I'm happy to hold doors for anyone and everyone as a common courtesy, but if you think having breasts gives you the right to expect doors to be held for you, you're just as gender-biased as the so-called "rape culture" you've created in your mind. Do you really think having breasts gives you special rights over anyone else? I've seen women I don't know, their hands unburdened, walk up to a closed door then stop and wait for me to get there, fully expecting that I will open the door for them. I'm not sure why they believe they are somehow deserving of special treatment merely because they're female, but it's as sexist as if I expected her to iron my shirt just because she's female.
No one deserves to be abused, especially not as a child. But it seems you still have issues that need to be worked through.
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How is this an important enough issue to have a go at someone for?
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It is my privilege to offer that show of respect.
I'm appreciative when someone chooses to offer me the same show of respect.
It is not your right to demand a show of respect from me on the basis of your gender.
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they deserve to be treated with respect. Nothing says "your humanity is invisible to me" like a door swinging shut in your face.
to:
Do you really think having breasts gives you special rights over anyone else?
is not a very logical interpretation of july_july_july's words.
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Men: HOLD THE DAMN DOORS. And teach your sons to do it. a) it's good manners. b) it will teach your sons to be aware that women are not just empty shells with breasts, and that they deserve to be treated with respect.
Or, in simple words, men are supposed to hold doors for women, and that will somehow magically teach them that women are... what? Special? More deserving of respect than others?
If she wants to say that everyone is deserving of that respect, I'd agree with her. But she was using it specifically in the context of something men are supposed to do to show respect for women. That's asking for special rights because of your gender.
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Also if we're talking about context it might help to note the context of the post. Namely that it's talking about the prevalence of rape due to deep seated attitudes of lack of respect for women. You might remember the mention of 'rape culture' which you implied was entirely imagined by the commenter in question.
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