... I have not raised the point that I have a dear friend who once experienced what he termed "being forced into unwanted sex without his consent", and that I cannot fucking imagine a man who has actually been raped using that fact as a way to shut women up. While he says that he doesn't term the experience rape because it's in that horrible "gray" zone, it's made him very outspoken about the need for positive consent from everybody, for everything, all the time, no matter what the circumstances. He also notes that no one he's told that story to ever asks what he was wearing or if he'd gotten drunk around women on purpose or implied that it was his fault, and therefore yes, it is different.
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