On rape and men (Oh yes, I'm going there)

[cereta]

Yes, we've hit one of those times. Something has been building, and it has to come out.

Comments

[abka]

Thanks so much for this post

[rosefox]

And for women that whole train of thinking (I know I've engaged in it) that goes: "well I don't really want to have sex but he really does so maybe if I don't say no and just lie here it'll be over fast and we won't have to have this conflict," that won't be an option because having sex *means* being engaged with your partner and includes your pleasure (or at least pursuit of your own pleasure) as a basic condition.It really needs to be a basic condition for both people, though, and other conditions need to be in place as well, or what you have is a recipe for faking it. Been there, done that, because my partner equated "yes, I'll have sex with you" as "I love you" and was terminally insecure, and if I didn't reassure him with sex he collapsed in misery and then there was endless processing. Five minutes of half-heartedly faking it seemed like the better bargain at the time, since back then I valued my time a lot more than my body

[lizkayl]

I agree entirely. Sex should be opt-in, not opt-out. You shouldn't have to say 'no' to avoid sex. You should have to say 'yes' before any sort of physical actions take place.