When you see a news report about something like the Orange County gang-rape, you might post the link to Facebook or twitter, send it to people, even hear about it and discuss it in public places with people you don't really know
( ... )
Even if there were some online post about this story, in lieu of a news article, if I just randomly sent it along to people who don't know her, and posted it to my Facebook profile, I'd expect people to be puzzled, or to skip it, or to wonder why I sent it to them. What's relevant about this, they'd wonder?
So tell them what's relevant about it: tell them "This is what the world should be like," "This should be normal," "This is how men should behave," "Ever seen this happen? Here's what to do," "Ever wondered how you can help?" or whatever you think will provide the context necessary to understand why it's important.
It's not enough that people be receptive to it - we also need to expect that they'll be receptive to it
But there's no point waiting until they're receptive to it before we bother doing anything about it. If we think they won't be receptive to it, then we need to figure out how to *make* them receptive to it.
I really hope that mind-reading device of yours is still under warranty.
However, although I certainly read all you said, it always remains possible that I missed your point. Unfortunately when I reread your comment now I discern no more points than when I read it the first couple of times. Would you care to enlighten me?
Honestly, I think you may have actually found a useful purpose for e-mail chain letters. If more of them were of this sort of, "See, this is how decent human beings act towards each other, and more of this goes on than we ever hear about" thing rather than religious tracts or stupid stereotype-reinforcing jokes or good luck/bad luck bs, I for one would be far more likely to pass them along to my address book.
Actually, I'll do more than provide a link: I'll urge everyone who's posted a "That Guy" story here to submit it to HeroicStories. You can send it from an anonymous Gmail address if you want; change names, dates, places, whatever. But tell the story, and get it out there. I was one of the first HS contributors, and I can vouch that they're legit and really in it just to spread happiness and remind us that other people can be awesome.
Actually, cos, you were an excellent "That Guy" when we were dating. You told me to wait on having sex, when we were up way later than my usual bedtime and you weren't sure I was really ready to make that decision. If we wanted to have intercourse, it would continue to be a good decision later. I've never forgotten you for that, or stopped admiring you for it. :)
The other day, a friend of mine was at a bar/restaurant and feeling creeped out by a guy who was hitting on her. A clump of strangers who neither of them had ever met before, happened to notice the strange interaction, and when my friend stumbled into them, they actively welcomed her into their conversation and excluded the guy who was creeping her out. She stayed and talked to them for a while and didn't even notice when he left the place.
If you've ever wished strangers would do the same thing for you, pass on this letter,
I would pass that letter the fuck on! Maybe it's not an interesting story to men who don't get creeped on in bars or never feel paralyzed by the fear of provoking a merely unsettling man into a violent one, but that story doesn't need any context for me because that story's context is my every day life. And it's a lot of other people's every day life, hence the rape culture.
Perhaps we're not as far away from believing people want to hear these stories, as I thought? I'm not sure.
The key here is that it's not enough for people to want to hear these stories. If we want them to be told, we need people to believe that most other people want to hear them.
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So tell them what's relevant about it: tell them "This is what the world should be like," "This should be normal," "This is how men should behave," "Ever seen this happen? Here's what to do," "Ever wondered how you can help?" or whatever you think will provide the context necessary to understand why it's important.
It's not enough that people be receptive to it - we also need to expect that they'll be receptive to it
But there's no point waiting until they're receptive to it before we bother doing anything about it. If we think they won't be receptive to it, then we need to figure out how to *make* them receptive to it.
Reply
Reply
However, although I certainly read all you said, it always remains possible that I missed your point. Unfortunately when I reread your comment now I discern no more points than when I read it the first couple of times. Would you care to enlighten me?
Reply
Reply
Reply
Actually, I'll do more than provide a link: I'll urge everyone who's posted a "That Guy" story here to submit it to HeroicStories. You can send it from an anonymous Gmail address if you want; change names, dates, places, whatever. But tell the story, and get it out there. I was one of the first HS contributors, and I can vouch that they're legit and really in it just to spread happiness and remind us that other people can be awesome.
Reply
Reply
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If I received a chain-letter that said,
The other day, a friend of mine was at a bar/restaurant and feeling creeped out by a guy who was hitting on her. A clump of strangers who neither of them had ever met before, happened to notice the strange interaction, and when my friend stumbled into them, they actively welcomed her into their conversation and excluded the guy who was creeping her out. She stayed and talked to them for a while and didn't even notice when he left the place.
If you've ever wished strangers would do the same thing for you, pass on this letter,
I would pass that letter the fuck on! Maybe it's not an interesting story to men who don't get creeped on in bars or never feel paralyzed by the fear of provoking a merely unsettling man into a violent one, but that story doesn't need any context for me because that story's context is my every day life. And it's a lot of other people's every day life, hence the rape culture.
Reply
Perhaps we're not as far away from believing people want to hear these stories, as I thought? I'm not sure.
The key here is that it's not enough for people to want to hear these stories. If we want them to be told, we need people to believe that most other people want to hear them.
Reply
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