Things are... ok

[catherineib]

"How are you?" I keep hearing and reading... and silence in response. No updates, no mention of my state of mind or health - hiding so that I don't have to lie. Keeping quiet so that I don't sound hypocritical

Comments

;-)

[little_hal]

Such heartening and honest words. Yes, you are ok, in fact more ok than you know. I take inspiration from you and how youre doing. Keep blogging, its much more helpful than silence....!

Re: ;-)

[catherineib]

Thank you little hal

[anonymous]

Recovery IS a bitch because it means facing life front on, not hiding from it in an eating disorder.
It means facing your shit and all the shit that made everything so shit ie the ED.
You will find, if you allow, that if you eat well, gain the needed weight, that it will get easier.
Everyone have ever known, myself included, who have recovered, have stayed at a "normal" weight.
Yes healthy is a BMI 20 but for some it is more, some it is less.
It is not so much a number, but a physical state of being (all philosophical on your ass ;))
I am well. I am healthy. I am a normal weight. A lovely size 10...
But beyond that, the emotional cannot exist alone. It needs the physical health too.
Eat well. Live well. Laugh and love, see friends and challenge yourself and recovery will stop being a bitch and life will take over.
It takes over without you even realising.
But girl must eat. Girl must eat enough. Girl must not waste away.
It is so worth it and I couldn't tell you that enough times.
I know it is worth it because I have it.

:)

[catherineib]

You inspire me so much. I want what you have - just the wall in between is so big.

[ext_228407]

It's hard but hang on in. You're aware of it so you're already coming from a strong place when anorexia tries to grasp its way back.

Recovery is worth it - you've got things going on and loads to live for. Best wishes and loads of strength. It's not a relapse - it's a time of trial that you can ride out.

p.s. plus, lucky you getting to Glastonbury :)

[catherineib]

Thank you for the encouragement - and yes, I cannot WAIT for Glasto

keep fighting....

[anonymous]

Although i know many people have said it before to you, i will reitarate it...there is no better feeling than being free from this illness, please believe me when i say that.

I know you hope and can sort of imagine it; the reality is far better than i ever imagined.
I will never go back to that, because even in my darkest days this love of my freedom from ana's grip never disappears.
I never thought i'd ever be like this....I have so much more time now my life isnt consumed by the ed!
I wish i could describe it to you but alas words fail me. all i can say is please keep fighting and you will get there. I dont look back on all those years with anger or regret that 'it wasn't sooner' but I have accepted that it was part of my life story and I actually smile and say "Yes, I did it, I beat it". You will too.
xxxxxxxxxx

Re: keep fighting....

[catherineib]

That means a lot, that looking back without regret... all part of the journey. x

Life of Ron.

[anonymous]

I have a gash hangover. I bench pressed 140 kgs last night and saw some babes at the gym. All in all, a reasonable 24 hours.

Re: Life of Ron.

[catherineib]

umm, right