One-shot: Always a Hand to Hold
Title: Always a Hand to Hold
Author: Cassandra_Elise
Rating: G/Everyone
Summary: With the Doctor gone once more, Rose reevaluates her relationship with him and wonders if she can move on with his human counterpart. Originally written for Whoverse Last Author Standing
With just a touch of her hand and a single word, the strange man with the big grin and big ears led Rose to safety and changed the course of her life. At first she wasn’t sure his intentions were noble-any man who blew up her only source of income was at least careless, if not mad -but in spite of her doubts, her instincts told her to trust him. And trust him she did. He was her salvation, and she was his.
Their trust in each other sustained them through countless dangerous adventures, and then it all ended. With a burst of brilliant energy and light that would have looked positively angelic under any other circumstances, the Doctor disappeared and was replaced with a tall, gangly stranger. Who had a great gob. And great hair.
Confusion and terror took hold of her senses, and Rose was left with the same dilemma as before: Could she trust this man?
It was difficult at first. As he lay in a coma on her mum’s bed, she couldn’t help but believe that the Doctor had abandoned her, left her without a proper goodbye. But soon she realized he was her Doctor, and on that snowy Christmas night, as she grasped his outstretched hand and looked at the myriad of stars, she knew she would never leave him. Not on purpose, anyway.
She had promised him forever, and she had honestly thought she would get that. But fate had other plans. Standing on Bad Wolf Bay, she understood exactly how the Doctor felt. All the pain and loneliness of a thousand lifetimes seared her soul. Not even the knowledge that he loved her could dull the ache.
But even when the pain consumed every atom of her being, she didn’t stop believing that she would find a way back to him. And then she succeeded. She found her way back to his world, but she was foolish to think her happiness could last. She was stupid to think they would pick up where they left off, that they would continue to travel the universe together as if nothing had ripped them apart in the first place. She was wrong to trust this man.
Now she stands on the same beach where she last said goodbye and watches as the man whom she tore a hole in the universe to find, whom she broke every rule of time and space just to touch once more, leaves her yet again. The other person whom the Doctor abandoned, his own clone, weaves his long fingers through hers in a token of comfort and solidarity. His hand feels so familiar, yet it is slightly warmer, slightly more human.
They stare at each other. Rose notes a look of hopelessness brimming beneath the surface of those familiar brown eyes. So like the Doctor, and yet so unlike him. The Timelord would have been completely sure of himself and the situation, but this Doctor needs encouragement as much as she does.
A wave of uneasiness, far more powerful than the actual waves breaching the shore of the bay, washes over her. This man is not her Doctor. He may look, sound and think like him, but he is a totally different man. His hand is suddenly clammy to the touch, and she instinctively recoils at the all too human feeling. His hand drops uselessly to his side, clasping and unclasping in slow, rhythmic movements.
Taking charge of the situation, Jackie orders transportation for them via her mobile. The group is absolutely quiet as they wait for a Torchwood-issued helicopter to turn up. Once they board the thunderous beast, conversation is out of the question, and Rose makes the most of the welcomed silence by composing her thoughts.
How can she go on living day after day with this vivid reminder of the man she lost? How can she look at this Doctor without thinking of her own, lonely Timelord? Can she just transfer all of her feelings for the one Doctor to the other? Does she want to? Her actions from the beach seem to indicate as much.
She kissed him in a way her former boyfriends only wished she had kissed them. A kiss that echoed the yearning of those lost years when they were separated. A kiss full of burning desire which only intensified the longer she clung to him. But despite the torrent of emotions that consumed her as her lips crashed into his, something inside her snapped the second she heard the dematerializing sounds of the TARDIS.
Anger boils in her veins as she recalls the moment she realized the Doctor had abandoned her with his clone. What gave the Doctor the right to decide her future for her? She hadn’t asked to be discarded like a worn out shoe, left for good in a strange world with his human counterpart. She wanted to be with the Doctor-the proper Doctor. Forever. Now, as she gazes at his surreal replica sitting across from her, she wonders if the Doctor ever really felt the same way. And if he didn’t, what about his human duplicate?
Upon arrival at the Tyler Manor, Jackie immediately dashes off to check on Tony. The new Doctor and Rose stay behind, not altogether sure how to proceed. Rose purses her lips together and exhales slowly.
“Right,” she finally says. The Doctor jolts at the sound of her voice. “I suppose we need to figure out where you’re gonna stay and all that…” Her voice trails off. She wonders if her parents expect them to share a room. After all, the whole point of her traveling across the void (besides the whole saving the Earth business) was to be with the Doctor in every sense of the word.
The Doctor senses her discomfort. “Rose,” he nearly whispers, “I know I’m not the man you want, but I will do anything in this world to earn your love and trust.”
Rose holds back her tears. “How can I ever trust you again when you-when he abandoned me?”
He runs his hand through his hair as he tries to come up with an answer. “Because what he said at the bay isn’t entirely true. I’m not exactly like him.” She looks at him inquisitively. “I’m selfish. I would risk the whole world just to save you. That’s something he would never do.”
“I never wanted him to put me before the world.”
He stares at her, his eyes burning with passion and sincerity. “But what would I care about the world if you weren’t in it?”
His arms extend, his palms opened towards the sky as if he’s pleading. Instinctively, she reaches out and places her hand in his. He grasps it like it’s his lifeline, and she knows he’ll never let go.
Not for the world.
Author: Cassandra_Elise
Rating: G/Everyone
Summary: With the Doctor gone once more, Rose reevaluates her relationship with him and wonders if she can move on with his human counterpart. Originally written for Whoverse Last Author Standing
With just a touch of her hand and a single word, the strange man with the big grin and big ears led Rose to safety and changed the course of her life. At first she wasn’t sure his intentions were noble-any man who blew up her only source of income was at least careless, if not mad -but in spite of her doubts, her instincts told her to trust him. And trust him she did. He was her salvation, and she was his.
Their trust in each other sustained them through countless dangerous adventures, and then it all ended. With a burst of brilliant energy and light that would have looked positively angelic under any other circumstances, the Doctor disappeared and was replaced with a tall, gangly stranger. Who had a great gob. And great hair.
Confusion and terror took hold of her senses, and Rose was left with the same dilemma as before: Could she trust this man?
It was difficult at first. As he lay in a coma on her mum’s bed, she couldn’t help but believe that the Doctor had abandoned her, left her without a proper goodbye. But soon she realized he was her Doctor, and on that snowy Christmas night, as she grasped his outstretched hand and looked at the myriad of stars, she knew she would never leave him. Not on purpose, anyway.
She had promised him forever, and she had honestly thought she would get that. But fate had other plans. Standing on Bad Wolf Bay, she understood exactly how the Doctor felt. All the pain and loneliness of a thousand lifetimes seared her soul. Not even the knowledge that he loved her could dull the ache.
But even when the pain consumed every atom of her being, she didn’t stop believing that she would find a way back to him. And then she succeeded. She found her way back to his world, but she was foolish to think her happiness could last. She was stupid to think they would pick up where they left off, that they would continue to travel the universe together as if nothing had ripped them apart in the first place. She was wrong to trust this man.
Now she stands on the same beach where she last said goodbye and watches as the man whom she tore a hole in the universe to find, whom she broke every rule of time and space just to touch once more, leaves her yet again. The other person whom the Doctor abandoned, his own clone, weaves his long fingers through hers in a token of comfort and solidarity. His hand feels so familiar, yet it is slightly warmer, slightly more human.
They stare at each other. Rose notes a look of hopelessness brimming beneath the surface of those familiar brown eyes. So like the Doctor, and yet so unlike him. The Timelord would have been completely sure of himself and the situation, but this Doctor needs encouragement as much as she does.
A wave of uneasiness, far more powerful than the actual waves breaching the shore of the bay, washes over her. This man is not her Doctor. He may look, sound and think like him, but he is a totally different man. His hand is suddenly clammy to the touch, and she instinctively recoils at the all too human feeling. His hand drops uselessly to his side, clasping and unclasping in slow, rhythmic movements.
Taking charge of the situation, Jackie orders transportation for them via her mobile. The group is absolutely quiet as they wait for a Torchwood-issued helicopter to turn up. Once they board the thunderous beast, conversation is out of the question, and Rose makes the most of the welcomed silence by composing her thoughts.
How can she go on living day after day with this vivid reminder of the man she lost? How can she look at this Doctor without thinking of her own, lonely Timelord? Can she just transfer all of her feelings for the one Doctor to the other? Does she want to? Her actions from the beach seem to indicate as much.
She kissed him in a way her former boyfriends only wished she had kissed them. A kiss that echoed the yearning of those lost years when they were separated. A kiss full of burning desire which only intensified the longer she clung to him. But despite the torrent of emotions that consumed her as her lips crashed into his, something inside her snapped the second she heard the dematerializing sounds of the TARDIS.
Anger boils in her veins as she recalls the moment she realized the Doctor had abandoned her with his clone. What gave the Doctor the right to decide her future for her? She hadn’t asked to be discarded like a worn out shoe, left for good in a strange world with his human counterpart. She wanted to be with the Doctor-the proper Doctor. Forever. Now, as she gazes at his surreal replica sitting across from her, she wonders if the Doctor ever really felt the same way. And if he didn’t, what about his human duplicate?
Upon arrival at the Tyler Manor, Jackie immediately dashes off to check on Tony. The new Doctor and Rose stay behind, not altogether sure how to proceed. Rose purses her lips together and exhales slowly.
“Right,” she finally says. The Doctor jolts at the sound of her voice. “I suppose we need to figure out where you’re gonna stay and all that…” Her voice trails off. She wonders if her parents expect them to share a room. After all, the whole point of her traveling across the void (besides the whole saving the Earth business) was to be with the Doctor in every sense of the word.
The Doctor senses her discomfort. “Rose,” he nearly whispers, “I know I’m not the man you want, but I will do anything in this world to earn your love and trust.”
Rose holds back her tears. “How can I ever trust you again when you-when he abandoned me?”
He runs his hand through his hair as he tries to come up with an answer. “Because what he said at the bay isn’t entirely true. I’m not exactly like him.” She looks at him inquisitively. “I’m selfish. I would risk the whole world just to save you. That’s something he would never do.”
“I never wanted him to put me before the world.”
He stares at her, his eyes burning with passion and sincerity. “But what would I care about the world if you weren’t in it?”
His arms extend, his palms opened towards the sky as if he’s pleading. Instinctively, she reaches out and places her hand in his. He grasps it like it’s his lifeline, and she knows he’ll never let go.
Not for the world.