I don't like dolphins, woodland creatures on the whole, celery, wrinkly things in baked goods (if there are brown chunks it needs to be chocolate or nuts), tapioca pudding, or gourds of any kind ( Read more... )

If you're a boy, you can stop reading now ( Read more... )

Everyone has a mother, or perhaps a mother figure in their lives. I'm grateful to my own mom, whom I've grown closer to as the years go by. My mom didn't teach me a lot of things, but I've managed to emulate her talents nonetheless; she's a fabulous cook, and she's a better seamstress than I'll ever be. We're also opposites in lots of ways. ( Read more... )

I know. It's the sound of nothing ( Read more... )

I dropped a curling iron on MY FACE this morning.  It slipped.  Anyway, I'm howling ('cause it freaking hurt) and my mother calls in:

Mom.  Do you want some ice?

Me.   (yells) Yes, but we don't have any freaking ice, the ice maker quit (re: all things with a plug) last month.

Mom.  (walks in my bedroom)  Here.  This'll work.  (hands me a bottle of ( Read more... )