A bit of relief

[carnivalnights]

So, I just dropped a course. I dropped the only course I did not need to graduate. The guilt is eating me alive, but I also feel a sense of relief. I will not bother telling any family member about my decision because they will be unsupportive and even hostile about it. My father would kill me if he found out, so he will definitely not be informed

Comments

[freyis]

*Hug*

I'm glad that dropping a course will free up some time for you to pursue counseling.

I think it's good that you are not willing to forgive and forget in these cases. From what you've said, they don't deserve one ounce of your respect.

I had the least halloween halloween ever. I stayed here at home and played Final Fantasy 12 with someone.

Kitties! ^^

[carnivalnights]

Thanks, hun. *hugs*

My whole life, I have done nothing but forgive. And I have been told time and time again that I am 'too nice.' But with my father and my uncle, I have no remorse, I do not feel the need to forgive. So I won't. I believe everyone has good inside them, somewhere, but the people who choose to ignore that part of themselves do not deserve respect or love in return.

Well, hey, as long as you're thinking of the Halloween spirit. :P Some people don't care about certain holidays and that's cool. Halloween just happens to be one I'm a fanatic about. Three, actually... Halloween, Canada Day and Christmas. Every other holiday I despise, especially New Years.

[freyis]

The only holidays that really matter to me are Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. New YEars not because of the parties and everything, but because it's a time for me to reflect on everything that happened over the past year.

[littlemisstexas]

I just had to say that I'm very proud of you for dropping the one course. I know that definitely was not an easy thing for you to do but I hope it'll bring you more relief, time for yourself and for counseling. You are one of the strongest people I know. You'll get through this, better times are on their way. *huge, huge hugs & much love* ♥

Love,
Jennifer

P.S. I adore your Halloween pictures, Shadow and Salem are so cute. *pets them* : )

[carnivalnights]

Thank you, hun. I still feel kind of guilty but I know it was the right thing for me, so I am happy to have your support. I do hope you are right about better times being on their way. <33

[freshgreengrass]

you are so cute that i'd eat you alive. ohyes.

[humancarnival]

i'm glad there was something you could do to ease your stresses a little bit. fuck the money. your well being is much more important and if dropping a class means you get a bit of leeway with everything else, then so be it. *nods*

on another note, i must have some monster cakes. they are jiust the cutest edible thing i've ever seen. also also, your kitties are divine.

[carnivalnights]

The money definitely isn't important to me, but since it is not just my money, I know the other parties would be pissed off with me 'wasting' all of it. This is why I plan to keep the information to myself.

I wish you could send cupcakes in the mail. :( I would totally send you some. I wish I could get rid of my baking that way! I'm one of those love-to-make-but-hate-to-eat kind of bakers, so a lot of it goes to waste. Whatever Sean doesn't eat usually ends up in the garbage. Boo.

[humancarnival]

bah. fuck 'em. you're about you now and that's how they made it so, yeah. fuck'em.

i wish i were a love-to-make-but-hate-to-eat. i'm more a hate-to-make-hate-to-eat person. heh. ohwell. maybe i will attempt monster cakes myself! i have nothing better to do this afternoon

[carnivalnights]

Bwaha. Well, 90% of people are hate-to-make-love-to-eat people. :P Or at least, that's my estimate. There is a particular joy in eating food, especially when it's homemade by someone you love. :)

And if you do, you should absolutely take peektures for me!

[shadow_syren]

oh my goodness, all this food is making my mouth water...so hungry...

love the kitty pics...

i'm glad you were able to drop one course, i hope it will give you a bit of relief. i wouldn't worry so much about "depressing" entries, it's your journal, your life, you're not here to entertain us but to have a place to share what's really going on in your life...

*hug*

[carnivalnights]

Hee, well, it was indeed yummy. :D

No, you're right. Sometimes I just feel bad for whining so much. Not even because of other people here who read it but more because I'm not a 'bad' or 'cynical' person, and I don't want to come off that way to myself or anyone else. I just have a lot of problems in my life, ones I cannot usually control. Sometimes it makes me insecure about what I write. You know? But I am sure there will be more depressing entries to come. Heh.

*hugs*