[VOICE POST]
[there is silence. the communicator is clearly on, but there's a din of mild static. more silence.]
[THEN, SUDDENLY]
YES.
In the span of forty-two minutes and sixteen seconds I constructed a rudimentary atmospheric satellite in an attempt to graph my coordinates and figure out the exact location of where I stand on the Earth at this very moment when, suddenly, I was alerted of an unknown approaching object! (65407) 2002 RP120 rebelled from its unusual orbit and was headed STRAIGHT TO EARTH! Luckily for mankind, I destroyed it.
What ramifications this may have on science is unknown! Surely blowing up a nearby asteroid will cause years of research and study to be completely null and void, and now hundreds of tiny flaming fragments of space-rock are hurtling through the stratosphere to rain upon fragile little skulls that harbor the stability of nothing more than an eggshell in comparison! An EGGSHELL!!!
...
TITANIUM UMBRELLAS. HUMANITY'S ONLY CHANCE IN THE FACE OF CARBONACEOUS ONSLAUGHT! Action must be taken quickly! Citizens - I. NEED. A. TOASTER.
[THEN, SUDDENLY]
YES.
In the span of forty-two minutes and sixteen seconds I constructed a rudimentary atmospheric satellite in an attempt to graph my coordinates and figure out the exact location of where I stand on the Earth at this very moment when, suddenly, I was alerted of an unknown approaching object! (65407) 2002 RP120 rebelled from its unusual orbit and was headed STRAIGHT TO EARTH! Luckily for mankind, I destroyed it.
What ramifications this may have on science is unknown! Surely blowing up a nearby asteroid will cause years of research and study to be completely null and void, and now hundreds of tiny flaming fragments of space-rock are hurtling through the stratosphere to rain upon fragile little skulls that harbor the stability of nothing more than an eggshell in comparison! An EGGSHELL!!!
...
TITANIUM UMBRELLAS. HUMANITY'S ONLY CHANCE IN THE FACE OF CARBONACEOUS ONSLAUGHT! Action must be taken quickly! Citizens - I. NEED. A. TOASTER.