voice.

[tothecloud]

I guess this is what growing up is like.

Does being a hero always feel this way?

[ Quietly: ]

I don't like it very much.

Comments

[fishnets]

Depends on the day.

[tothecloud]

Being a hero is good, right? Doing good-- it shouldn't feel bad.

[fishnets]

It is.

And it shouldn't. But sometimes it does. It's a sacrifice you have to make. So -- here's the time when you should decide. Do you want to keep being a hero? Do you want to walk away from this life? If you're questioning your beliefs, you should take some time off. It helps, I promise.

[tothecloud]

[ An exhale. ]

I think I have to take time off anyway.

I'm suspended.

Voice, police filter

[ctu_savior]

It gets easier, Abby. For some people.

Voice, police filter

[tothecloud]

But, I--

I'm not. Sure I want it to get easier. Killing someone shouldn't ever be easy.

Voice, police filter

[ctu_savior]

You're a sharpshooter, Abby. Unless we can get you a rifle with nonlethal capability that's as reliable as what you have now, this is what you do.

Voice, police filter

[tothecloud]

[ A little pause. Then, quietly: ]

Yessir.

[tothecloud]

[ Dejectedly: ]

Just most of the time?

[tothecloud]

W-What does that mean, be myself...? I. Don't... Regular Abby could never save anybody.

[tothecloud]

But-- I wanna feel like I'm helping people. Not hurting them.

[tothecloud]

I'm... I'm not--

[tothecloud]

[ Long silence, then, muffled-- like her face is buried against blankets: ]

I'm not... Not denying what I did. But, I. Was trying to do the right thing.