Video Post: A New Slot Has Opened
All right, schmendricks and schmendrettes, it's time for a State of the Wade Update.
It seems that once again, our mealy-mouthed machine mama has seen fit to rob me of my rightful weapons geek/best bud Weasel J. Hammer, Millionaire, He Owns A Mansion And A Yacht. Or just loitered at the MAC so no one would get on his case about a lack of hygiene. I dunno. I swear, Squirrel Girl did somethin' funky with soul to him.
ANYHOW. Rather than mope openly and sell all his stuff again, the one and only Deadpoo-poo-poolio will be holding AUDITIONS for the much-esteemed, much-ballyooed and lustily coveted position of "BEST BUD."
Responsibilities will include fulfilling all my technological needs, listening to me kvetch about women who spend all night playing drunken Twister with me only to vanish in the morning and never call again even though they're supposedly a HERO type (*sniff* I feel so USED! *sniff--HONK*), and helping me find a new supplier of lovely merc supplies. In return, you will get a hell of a lot of tentacle porn and a vintage copy of Madonna's "Sex" book, wherein she fondles Vanilla Ice. For you young'uns, Madonna is Lady Gaga's mom, who was actually at one time more famous than her without actually wearing elaborate contraptions as clothing. Then again, giant cone-bras may or may not be considered 'contraptions.'
So line on up, send me your re-zoo-mays and make your case to hang with the Big Dog. The Head Cheese. The Honcho Sans Poncho. Who's up for becoming my new Sancho Panza, yo?
DUDES, FORM A LINE TO MY RIGHT FOR HIGH-FIVES!
LADIES, FORM A LINE TO MY LEFT FOR MAKE-OUTS!
Make yer pitches, bitches!
It seems that once again, our mealy-mouthed machine mama has seen fit to rob me of my rightful weapons geek/best bud Weasel J. Hammer, Millionaire, He Owns A Mansion And A Yacht. Or just loitered at the MAC so no one would get on his case about a lack of hygiene. I dunno. I swear, Squirrel Girl did somethin' funky with soul to him.
ANYHOW. Rather than mope openly and sell all his stuff again, the one and only Deadpoo-poo-poolio will be holding AUDITIONS for the much-esteemed, much-ballyooed and lustily coveted position of "BEST BUD."
Responsibilities will include fulfilling all my technological needs, listening to me kvetch about women who spend all night playing drunken Twister with me only to vanish in the morning and never call again even though they're supposedly a HERO type (*sniff* I feel so USED! *sniff--HONK*), and helping me find a new supplier of lovely merc supplies. In return, you will get a hell of a lot of tentacle porn and a vintage copy of Madonna's "Sex" book, wherein she fondles Vanilla Ice. For you young'uns, Madonna is Lady Gaga's mom, who was actually at one time more famous than her without actually wearing elaborate contraptions as clothing. Then again, giant cone-bras may or may not be considered 'contraptions.'
So line on up, send me your re-zoo-mays and make your case to hang with the Big Dog. The Head Cheese. The Honcho Sans Poncho. Who's up for becoming my new Sancho Panza, yo?
DUDES, FORM A LINE TO MY RIGHT FOR HIGH-FIVES!
LADIES, FORM A LINE TO MY LEFT FOR MAKE-OUTS!
Make yer pitches, bitches!