eins befehl | audio.

[cantgetlaidin]

[At first there is mumbling in German as he attempts to dial a number on the phone. Agitated, he raises his voice.]

Is this thing even--!

[A brief pause. When he speaks again it's with a forced calm.]

Right. This morning I awoke in a strange house and there is some lunatic woman here claiming to be my wife. If this is some kind of elaborate

Comments

[whiterusestra]

This voice is Germany?

Should definitely go back. Walking does not work, you must mail yourself back. Airholes are optional.

[cantgetlaidin]

I doubt that would work either.

[whiterusestra]

You could stuff your ears full of potatoes and pretend you aren't here.

[cantgetlaidin]

If you're going to be purposely unhelpful then get off the line.

[hardhat_truckie]

Woah there son, just take it easy and relax. There's no need to go around losin' ya temper. Sure, it's mighty strange ta wake up in a place you've never been b'fore, and I don't doubt that you've got a lotta questions that need answerin', but gettin' angry ain't gonna git you nowhere, and it's gonna affect your reasonin'. I thought it was a big prank myself when I first arrived here, but people were really kind ta me and helped me fit in just right. That's gonna be difficult for ya if you keep snappin' at people like that. Time's sorta weird in this place, so if there's somethin' ya need ta be gettin' at back home, ya don't have ta worry too much. Now, how about you sit down, take a deep breath, calm y'self down, and then you can get some answers, huh?

engie you're such a bro.

[cantgetlaidin]

Relax? I've been abducted, I haven't got time to sit around! I need to... research! Collect reliable data!

Engie's got this giant mother hen complex.

[hardhat_truckie]

And ya can only do that with a cool head. Maybe "relax" ain't the best word for me ta use...I was just meanin' that ya had ta calm down, or else you might just rub some folk the wrong way. And I'm willin' ta share what I know with ya, but ya gotta stop yellin' and losin' your temper, so that you can take it all in properly, and THEN figure out what ya wanna do.

[gotyourbones]

[Have some more German, bro.]

More and more of us here... I'm starting to become suspicious.

[His tone is light, though.]

[cantgetlaidin]

You don't sound particularly concerned, though.

[gotyourbones]

Mayfield is very good at maintaining its status quo.

LATE LATE SUP SUP

[overindulging]

Lots of strange stuff happens here, so it's- [he doesn't notice it's Germany right away, but then the gears start working and... oh!]

Germany! You've finally have come to save me! I'm living in 623 Topper Street! I'm sure you can use your fancy GPS and find me.

NOTHING NEW THERE THEN AY ITALY [1/2]

[cantgetlaidin]

Italy? You got yourself captured again!?

[cantgetlaidin]

--use my what?

1/2

[overindulging]

[he hasn't thought about it that way for a while, but thanks for reminding him.] It's been a while since I've been captured by America, hasn't it?

/s-so late but

[gezellighe]

[As if he wouldn't be able to recognize that voice after all these years. Hello, neighbor.]

Duitsland.

It's not what you think.

[No, it's much worse.]