(no subject)
LAST BATCH YAY
We'll post information about the next application round ... s-soonish.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED.
Character: Emma Danziger Emmerich
Series: Metal Gear Solid 2
Character Age: 19ish (born in 199X, game takes place in 2009, looks to be on the older side of that)
Canon: Metal Gear Solid: it's a game about spies! In the world of Metal Gear, characters can generally be divided into two categories-- agents and scientists. Agents get neat powers, skin-tight outfits and soliloquies. Scientists get inappropriate love-interests, sometimes wet themselves, and have a tendency to get shanked by large bisexuals. Emma Emmerich falls solidly into the latter category. Through truly gut-wrenching back story, Emma has a big-brother (Otacon) complex the size of Bipedal first-strike capable nuclear tank. And clearly the best way to get your estranged brother's attention is to program an evil AI for purposes of aiding world domination.
Emma hates bugs, heights, and walking quickly, she is truly phobic of water (a little quick that gets fun when escorting her through underwater levels!). At the moment, she also hates her brother for his perceived abandonment of the family. She also also hates anyone who speaks to her brother. Or anyone her brother has ever paid attention to. Or really anyone who's ever been NEAR her brother. She isn't too fond of the AI she made, and as her employers were a shady evil conspiracy there's no love lost there. All of these dislikes she is more than willing to share with you by breaking in to your frequency during private conversations. Her likes include.... her pet parrot. That's about it.
The parrot was named after her brother.
Sample Post:
Uhm, excuse me? Livejournal? Ugh. I hope you know, no one in the business will ever take your blog seriously if its posted somewhere like livejournal. If you really want to think you're credible, maybe you should learn to host st uff on your own server, huh? I'm not saying that some things about this system aren't impressive, but putting it on some crappy social networking site is just an insult to what you're doing. And having your evil surveillance network hosted by the Russians? Uh. That kind of stopped being cool in 1992.
Don't you losers know that the first step in brain-washing is repetition. Wow, your computer tells you you're gay constantly and suddenly you find yourself kissing another boy? Golly gee! Yeah, it must be in the water. Durrrhurhur. It's not even a subtle social paradigm manipulation software. "YOU GUYS LOVE PENIS." "OH REALLY? OK!" Pavlov would be proud of you drooling jerks.
You've all been paying so much attention to the barrier without sparing a second thought of the system that is truly holding your captive. Haven't any of you ever heard of Foucault's Panopticon? In a prison in which you never know can never know whether or not you are being guarded, you begin to guard yourselves. You thread and thread, but never know if anyone is reading. But in not knowing if you are being observed, you begin to internalize the observation. You become your own observer; it's just human nature.
So you follow the rules and stay in-character; most of the time the audience is harmless, but you can never know when a mod might be reading. How does camp know when you are violating a rule? Can it really be there all the time? You never know! You can't tell! You just go around and around in circles no matter what you do. In the end, the only one watching you fap is yourself.
Hal... are they watching you too?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Madarame Harunobu
Series: Genshiken
Character Age: 21 (chapter 32)
Canon: Some people read manga for the mascot characters, the magical girls, the impossible hair or the overpowered attacks. But what about the stories of these readers? Genshiken is a slice-of-life manga about the college club of the same name, devoted to, pretty much, geeking out about manga, anime, videogames, figures and cosplay. The members of the Genshiken are self-admitted otaku, who find in the club a place where they truly fit in and belong.
Madarame is often called "the worst otaku" in the club. Gangly, awkward and sloppily dressed, Madarame is an all around embarrassing dude. Apart from enjoying huge robots, magical girls and fighting games, Madarame has a fixation on "creating a character". That is, he mimics hardened soldier type characters, comparing mundane situations to battles and succeeding at his goals to glory. Madarame's penchant for the dramatic and his anal-retentive nature when it comes to everything fannish manages to make even his friends facepalm. But he's not all bad! Among his virtues is his frequent quoting of Gundam series, his detailed analysis of his favorite characters and his ability to forego eating when he has spent all his money on doujinshi (fanmade magazines).
Okay, so those aren't exactly virtues, but he sure is a dedicated fan!
Sample Post:
HAH!! Sweltering weather, humidity so high I can't tell my sweat from the air anymore, and not a single shadow in sight! All these factors would scare a lesser man than I. And because I am myself, I will stay in line for as long as it takes to get a good spot in this exclusive summer-long convention Camp Fuck You Die. With that name, it has to be really hardcore.
Realistic cosplay, characters from any media allowed, over the course of an entire summer, "with the possibility of extending your stay if your name is randomly picked from the Suckers List"? SIGN ME UP! . . . except someone's already signed me up. Well, the catalog that came in the mail said doors would open at 6 p.m. on the 22nd, but for these sort of big events the battle starts early. Glory (and being first in line) awaits the men who never back down from a fight, who seek the road to enlightenment. The ones who study the battlefield and prepare.
But why the hell is this catalog so chaotic?! The map is fine . . . if you ignore the way the cabins sprout new floors, or this vast area marked only as "middle of camp"! Who cares about the map? The goal in any convention is to plan your route carefully! Making sure you visit everything you're interested in with minimum walking time is the entire point. But how can I do that if the cabins aren't organized by series?! Here we have a cabin with a manga character, an RPG character and--I think that guy's from an American comic! In what world does this make any sense?
And it's like all these guys in front haven't even opened the catalog yet. I wonder how long they've been waiting in line. It looks like they haven't drunk so much as a drop of water in weeks, and they've gotta be saving all their cash for the special goods 'cause they sure sound hungry . . . Hey wait, are they leaving? Ah no, they're coming to talk to me. Haha, hi guys! It's been tough, right? But I think they'll open the doors soon. You're hungry? I brought some snacks with me, I don't mind sharing. They do make the wait more bearable after all. Here, have a sandwich--gyaaaahh!
H-he bit my hand. He really bit my hand! How'd I end up in a convention with people who take the "rabid fan" stereotype so literally? "Y-You can blame this on the misfortune of your birth," Madarame.
Poll Vote!
Character: Akagi Shigeru
Series: Mahjong Legend Akagi
Character Age: ~19
Canon: It was a dark and stormy night in 1958 when 13-year-old Akagi Shigeru walked into a random mahjong parlor to escape the police. He came out a legend. As one might expect, Mahjong Legend Akagi is about the title character's descent into the seedy underworld of yakuza and gambling. Dissatisfied with the mundanity of regular life, Akagi decides that undertaking frequent life-or-death gambles is the way to go for him--leaving husks of broken men in his wake.
Akagi is exceptionally calm and composed, especially during high-stakes gambles, where he'll bet ridiculous amounts of money, his body parts, other people's body parts, his own life, and so on. His playing style (and lifestyle) is defined by his absurd willingness to take risks, cheat, and dominate his opponents both physically and psychologically. He's completely fearless, full of self-confidence, and pursues victory while staring Death in the eyes, and with his extraordinary luck, occasionally kicks Death in the face. However, Akagi's not without a sense of humor...though it seems to be limited to the making-fun-of-your-opponents-and-chuckling-wryly variety.
Sample Post:
...I said, are you deaf, Hrghnarghahr-san? I don't have a ten. Go fish.
Oh? What are you getting mad for? We're no strangers to the game...you know the rules, and so do I, especially since you and Mragraaah-san just taught me five minutes ago. When you don't have the card your opponent is asking for, you say "Go fish," right? Don't try to make excuses by saying I cheated. If I did, isn't it your own fault for not catching me? Honestly...one can't expect to be handled so softly all the time. It's a ruthless world outside of this swamp of yours, you know.
So, Mraagraaah-san, do you have any aces? My, what's all this sputtering about? Don't tell me you're too blind to see your own hand. So you lack eyes. That just means you should know your own limits. I've played the blind before, and he had no problem getting utterly crushed by me. But you know, I never thought I'd be playing this "Go Fish" with a bunch of half-decomposing men in the middle of...Camp Fuck You Die, was it? Now I'm in your swamp, defeating you at this simple children's card game. It's interesting what life throws at you...but I have to say, this isn't interesting enough. The higher the stakes, the better the game. And why don't we live up to the name of "Camp Fuck You Die?"
If either of you manage to make me "go fish," then you'll get the brains you so dearly want. But...if we finish a game without me having to "go fish," then both of you really will go fish in that lake over there. And by that, I mean you get to hurl yourselves toward the enormous monster in it. It's looking interesting now, right? After all, you can't survive if you don't die...although I wonder if this applies to the already dead, heh. I hope those fingers of yours don't hinder your shuffling, then.
Now...let's start. Hrghnarghahr-san, do you have any threes?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Iron Maiden Jeanne
Series: Shaman King
Character Age: 11
Canon: Even stories revolving around boys and their ghosts need a plot, or at least a plot device. Every five hundred years, there is a tournament where shamans from all over the world come together to compete to become the Shaman King. Perhaps you've heard of Buddha or Jesus? These two well-known gentlemen won their respective tournaments! Unfortunately, the tournament to decide who becomes the next Shaman King is based purely on ability, so there's no guarantee that the victor will be a good person. When a boy who wants to destroy the world and replace it with his ideal is the guaranteed victor, someone has to step in. Sadly, there isn't anyone with any common sense to fix things, so Iron Maiden Jeanne will just have to do, wielding her spirit to torture her opponents with the power of divine justice.
Jeanne is a young girl who lives in an iron maiden,, that carries the world's sins and expands her Shaman abilities. She wields her spirit Shamash to torture her opponents to death as her method of fighting. Despite what type of person this may sound like, she's actually a very sweet and inspiring girl, one speech she gave to her enemies made those who listened in on it cry. Normally quiet and stoic, she generally lets others take the limelight even though she's the leader of a fairly strong team in the tournament. Whether she's monologuing at length about the necessity of torture or offering to kiss boys back to life (long story!), this is one little girl you don't want to pick a fight with!
Sample Post:
Torture devices have been used throughout history by every great civilization. Chinese water torture, crucifixion, flagellation, the rack. The list of methods used are nearly endless. Prisoners are placed in a position where they cannot escape, and are forcibly encouraged to confess all he knows out of fear. I bear these devices of punishment as a way to show my determination to protect this world and lift it from the darkness that it has sunk into. People inflict pain upon one another, telling lies and living outside the law. Those who implement these measures often do so as a way to keep the population from rejecting the law that is in place. Society cannot function without law, and those who violate it are punished, as you can see by looking out the Camp around you. Those who disobey the rules face the consequences, no matter how unorthodox Camp's punishments may be. Even so, I am not familiar with Murphy's Law, or with why that would cause me any problems, Mr. Anon.
I wish to ease this world's sorrow, and I will bind myself to instruments of torture to enforce the rules of this place. I have come to this Camp to relieve the inhabitants of their sorrow, and a great deal of what they suffer comes from rejecting the local laws. We have seen what happens in this place -- children fight one another in pools of jello, adults ignore the children surrounding them in order to flee mistletoe, and innocent bystanders are forced to look at 4chan in order to understand in-jokes shared by their friends. Those who wear scrunchies face retribution, often in the form of marauding radio buttons. While the exact bans and rules may shift over time, it is still very important to follow them. Please repent and head towards a life of justice. Yes, even an Anon must accept justice into his life.
Sharing your knowledge with others over the internet is a good way to start on this path. It is a means of communication between people, a method of bringing information to those in distant lands. The message of justice can spread to those who would otherwise never hear it. If you wish to share this with Bee then you are free to do so. I can understand why you would what to include a picture of me with your message to the world, and even why you would share the image of my iron maiden with the world. However, it does not seem as though the people reading what you wrote seem to understand the value of what has been shared with them. Such terrible words are the first step into evil. Between the bad grammar and strange demands, it is clear that Anonymous does not understand the value of of what he has been offered, relevant to his interests or otherwise. Justice cannot forgive this, nor will it forget. I feel sorry for them.
Mr. Anon, uploading something called "loli-mascot.jpg" does not count as repentance.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mint
Series: Threads of Fate (official site)
Character Age: mid-teens
Canon: Threads of Fate is the story of two teens who meet by chance while looking for the same thing--a [relic], a rare, arcane object of immense mystic power. The boy, Rue, hopes to save the life of his sister. The girl, Mint, wants to take over the world.
Brash, self-centered, and (over)confident, Mint was the crown princess of the East Heaven Kingdom until her irresponsibility got her passed over for her little sister. Fired up, Mint goes on a two year journey to find a [relic], intending not only to reclaim her rule over East Heaven, but the entire world. Along the way she grows--well...not so much. She is still blunt, greedy and conniving, but she does gain various elemental spells and even a few friends, dropkicks several bandits in the head, and even defeats an evil threat to all existence, blah blah. In the end all she really worries about is showing up her younger sister, Maya--and world domination.
Sample Post
Gorillas! Toucans! Goats! ...Whatever the heck you things are! Welcome! It is your utmost pleasure to meet me, the one and only Princess Mint, future queen of the East Heaven Kingdom and the world!!!
...That was the part where you were supposed to applaud, duh. Okay, whatever. I have a proposition for you. Now, a lot of people will say I usually and only ever think about myself--for example, my sister, anyone I've ever traveled with, that guy at the pub who I really should've kicked in the head--but today I'm here to talk about you. See, be you woman or beast (or...whatever you are), it's important to be forward-thinking! It's important to have a lofty-yet-achievable goal! And I think we can achieve this goal together, through these four simple steps:
1. Find an easily-conquered village.
2. Overpower them with wit & beatings beauty until
they give up their [relics].
3. ???
4. World domination♪
Pretty simple, huh? Now, I've already finished numbers 1 and 3 shortly after scoping out your measly collection of shacks near the lake! But, for 2, that's where I need the help.
Maybe it's the everspawning monster hordes (no offense), maybe it's the semi-active volcano, maybe it's the midboss in the lake, but I just know this area has got to have at least one super-special [relic]! Unfortunately, a beautiful and talented girl like me just doesn't have the time to go tramping through every single little dungeon, beating up enemies and figuring out precision jumping-puzzles. ...Though, I am pretty darned spectacular at precision-jumping and beating up enemies, if I say so myself! And I do. Still, there're like, at least five different dungeons in this area, and I'm kinda in a hurry.
That's why I've recruited all of you! Out of all the weird, semi-sentient and possibly powerful things in this forest, you guys are the most potentially malleable to my will. And be you big, small, fire-breathing, or whatever, if you decide to help me out--be my minion, you might say--I will guarantee you a very very VERY small part of the riches, honor and glory I'll have when I take over the world! Don't worry, I promise to be a kind and fair queen--unless you cross me, in which case I'm gonna make your life a living hell! Hahahahaha! Everyone back home can eat it!!!
...Anyway! If you guys can just check out this area and bring any gold, treasure or [relics] you find back to me, I promise to share them 9:1 between me and you. See? Everybody wins! Note that all promises are non-binding. I, of course, will stay here, sipping exotic drinks and, uh, strategizing. Oh--and if you don't like the idea? I'll beat you to a bloody pulp and sell your pelts at the nearest shop! Like I said, everybody wins♪
Got it team? Now, get out there! It's time for world domination, baby!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Urashima Kanako
Series: Love Hina (manga)
Age: 17-18
Canon: Love Hina is the story of Urashima Keitaro, a fellow so suave, so sexy, so talented, that - well, no, he's a complete failure. But he's got some charm; after all, even his own sister decided to get a piece of that hot action. Kanako, Keitaro's "unadorable" adopted sibling and dedicated stalker, crashes onto the scene while Keitaro is off doing archaeological field study in America. Her goal? To drive off every other girl in the series who has a crush on her brother and then marry him herself when he returns to Japan. Her level of success? Not too shabby! After all, Kanako is a master of manipulation and disguise; her obsession with costumes and studying people is second only to her obsession with Keitaro. She will gladly resort to deception, magic, or heavy bondage to make him her own. Even after admitting her loss of Keitaro to Naru and wishing them well, Kanako continues her attempted sabotage of the relationship.
Kanako is a lonely, quiet, awkward loligoth with a tendency to talk to herself for lack of relationships; she even goes so far as to keep herself company using the powers of ventriloquism and her pet cat, and even he insults her. Her usual demeanor is utterly deadpan and blunt, no matter what kind of insane lie she's telling or misguided plot she's attempting. Even with her lifetime subscription of social and self-esteem issues, Kanako is a perfectionist, very forceful and forward about what she wants, and it takes a hell of a lot to ruffle her out of her blank insistence on How Things Should Be. She's a little bit crazy and it shows, but deep down she's really a sweet girl who just wants to make some friends. Stalking them, spying on them, and stealing their identities? Just a hobby!
Sample Post:
Braaaaaaaiiiins. Braaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnns.
...Mmm. No. It's not quite right, not yet. Hitting the pitiful wailing note is proving more difficult than I imagined. Perhaps I need to hear it one more time, Zombie-san. Incidentally, I was sorry to hear about your beloved mother. I'm afraid she won't be returning to the camp... she wandered too far into the forest and was abducted by an alien craft. Upon reaching the creatures' home planet, she went into politics and died wealthy but corrupt, and she is remembered now as the planet Zargon's least effective president. Yes, I'm terribly sorry. You hadn't heard? I'll give you a moment to mourn.
Ah. Yes. There's the wailing note I need to master.
I see that once I perfect the design of my mask, blending in with the native population of this camp won't be too difficult. I do have a special melting latex that should allow me to lose eyeballs on cue. Brother dearest... is this what you were faced with during your study overseas? You're an even braver man than I gave you credit for. ♥ I knew that coming to America would give me a deep, intimate insight into your experiences. Unfortunately, my extensive search of American campsites hasn't yet turned up any trace of a blanket you might have slept on. I wanted something to cuddle with tonight. But I still feel closer to you than ever before, having gazed at the same stars you saw while you were away, and having bathed myself in the same radioactive waters that undoubtedly melted the clothes from your powerful frame... my nose is bleeding... I'm not sure if this is the heat of the moment or an effect of the radiation, but my heart remains the same.
Before we meet again, Brother, I have my own research to undertake. It doesn't bother me a bit to be trapped here, you see. Director... may I call you Sensei? I've heard so much about what you're capable of. You draw people in to your web of deceit, trap them with your magical barrier, force them into one another's arms with innocent-looking purple goo, and all for the sake of the man you love. I've already infiltrated the ranks of your minions, under the guise of "Gorilloli-chan," to learn what I could of your techniques. And I must bow my head and admit that I'm in the presence of a true master. I realize now that I've been immature in my ways and have much to learn about pursuing love.
In return for your unmatched expertise on how to create awkward sexual tension, I can teach your gorillas the "Urashima Special Hogtie Technique #34: Hanging Valley." I promise you from experience, it's very easy to use even on targets who refuse to get out of bed. I can make your zombies more terrifying... have you ever done any research into the world of prosthetics? You're unnecessarily limiting yourself to only two empty eye sockets when the careful application of latex allows for so much more horror. The cameras in the bathrooms, I've noticed, leave too many blind spots unmonitored. My knowledge in this field, too, can only improve your control over your victims. Yes, Director-sensei, I will become your disciple. As two women who have experienced the pain of lost love, I think we understand one another, don't we?
As for Marcy-san, I don't think I can improve her. But I do think she'd make a lovely wedding present for a certain young lady I know in Japan.
Poll Vote!
We'll post information about the next application round ... s-soonish.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED.
Character: Emma Danziger Emmerich
Series: Metal Gear Solid 2
Character Age: 19ish (born in 199X, game takes place in 2009, looks to be on the older side of that)
Canon: Metal Gear Solid: it's a game about spies! In the world of Metal Gear, characters can generally be divided into two categories-- agents and scientists. Agents get neat powers, skin-tight outfits and soliloquies. Scientists get inappropriate love-interests, sometimes wet themselves, and have a tendency to get shanked by large bisexuals. Emma Emmerich falls solidly into the latter category. Through truly gut-wrenching back story, Emma has a big-brother (Otacon) complex the size of Bipedal first-strike capable nuclear tank. And clearly the best way to get your estranged brother's attention is to program an evil AI for purposes of aiding world domination.
Emma hates bugs, heights, and walking quickly, she is truly phobic of water (a little quick that gets fun when escorting her through underwater levels!). At the moment, she also hates her brother for his perceived abandonment of the family. She also also hates anyone who speaks to her brother. Or anyone her brother has ever paid attention to. Or really anyone who's ever been NEAR her brother. She isn't too fond of the AI she made, and as her employers were a shady evil conspiracy there's no love lost there. All of these dislikes she is more than willing to share with you by breaking in to your frequency during private conversations. Her likes include.... her pet parrot. That's about it.
The parrot was named after her brother.
Sample Post:
Uhm, excuse me? Livejournal? Ugh. I hope you know, no one in the business will ever take your blog seriously if its posted somewhere like livejournal. If you really want to think you're credible, maybe you should learn to host st uff on your own server, huh? I'm not saying that some things about this system aren't impressive, but putting it on some crappy social networking site is just an insult to what you're doing. And having your evil surveillance network hosted by the Russians? Uh. That kind of stopped being cool in 1992.
Don't you losers know that the first step in brain-washing is repetition. Wow, your computer tells you you're gay constantly and suddenly you find yourself kissing another boy? Golly gee! Yeah, it must be in the water. Durrrhurhur. It's not even a subtle social paradigm manipulation software. "YOU GUYS LOVE PENIS." "OH REALLY? OK!" Pavlov would be proud of you drooling jerks.
You've all been paying so much attention to the barrier without sparing a second thought of the system that is truly holding your captive. Haven't any of you ever heard of Foucault's Panopticon? In a prison in which you never know can never know whether or not you are being guarded, you begin to guard yourselves. You thread and thread, but never know if anyone is reading. But in not knowing if you are being observed, you begin to internalize the observation. You become your own observer; it's just human nature.
So you follow the rules and stay in-character; most of the time the audience is harmless, but you can never know when a mod might be reading. How does camp know when you are violating a rule? Can it really be there all the time? You never know! You can't tell! You just go around and around in circles no matter what you do. In the end, the only one watching you fap is yourself.
Hal... are they watching you too?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Madarame Harunobu
Series: Genshiken
Character Age: 21 (chapter 32)
Canon: Some people read manga for the mascot characters, the magical girls, the impossible hair or the overpowered attacks. But what about the stories of these readers? Genshiken is a slice-of-life manga about the college club of the same name, devoted to, pretty much, geeking out about manga, anime, videogames, figures and cosplay. The members of the Genshiken are self-admitted otaku, who find in the club a place where they truly fit in and belong.
Madarame is often called "the worst otaku" in the club. Gangly, awkward and sloppily dressed, Madarame is an all around embarrassing dude. Apart from enjoying huge robots, magical girls and fighting games, Madarame has a fixation on "creating a character". That is, he mimics hardened soldier type characters, comparing mundane situations to battles and succeeding at his goals to glory. Madarame's penchant for the dramatic and his anal-retentive nature when it comes to everything fannish manages to make even his friends facepalm. But he's not all bad! Among his virtues is his frequent quoting of Gundam series, his detailed analysis of his favorite characters and his ability to forego eating when he has spent all his money on doujinshi (fanmade magazines).
Okay, so those aren't exactly virtues, but he sure is a dedicated fan!
Sample Post:
HAH!! Sweltering weather, humidity so high I can't tell my sweat from the air anymore, and not a single shadow in sight! All these factors would scare a lesser man than I. And because I am myself, I will stay in line for as long as it takes to get a good spot in this exclusive summer-long convention Camp Fuck You Die. With that name, it has to be really hardcore.
Realistic cosplay, characters from any media allowed, over the course of an entire summer, "with the possibility of extending your stay if your name is randomly picked from the Suckers List"? SIGN ME UP! . . . except someone's already signed me up. Well, the catalog that came in the mail said doors would open at 6 p.m. on the 22nd, but for these sort of big events the battle starts early. Glory (and being first in line) awaits the men who never back down from a fight, who seek the road to enlightenment. The ones who study the battlefield and prepare.
But why the hell is this catalog so chaotic?! The map is fine . . . if you ignore the way the cabins sprout new floors, or this vast area marked only as "middle of camp"! Who cares about the map? The goal in any convention is to plan your route carefully! Making sure you visit everything you're interested in with minimum walking time is the entire point. But how can I do that if the cabins aren't organized by series?! Here we have a cabin with a manga character, an RPG character and--I think that guy's from an American comic! In what world does this make any sense?
And it's like all these guys in front haven't even opened the catalog yet. I wonder how long they've been waiting in line. It looks like they haven't drunk so much as a drop of water in weeks, and they've gotta be saving all their cash for the special goods 'cause they sure sound hungry . . . Hey wait, are they leaving? Ah no, they're coming to talk to me. Haha, hi guys! It's been tough, right? But I think they'll open the doors soon. You're hungry? I brought some snacks with me, I don't mind sharing. They do make the wait more bearable after all. Here, have a sandwich--gyaaaahh!
H-he bit my hand. He really bit my hand! How'd I end up in a convention with people who take the "rabid fan" stereotype so literally? "Y-You can blame this on the misfortune of your birth," Madarame.
Poll Vote!
Character: Akagi Shigeru
Series: Mahjong Legend Akagi
Character Age: ~19
Canon: It was a dark and stormy night in 1958 when 13-year-old Akagi Shigeru walked into a random mahjong parlor to escape the police. He came out a legend. As one might expect, Mahjong Legend Akagi is about the title character's descent into the seedy underworld of yakuza and gambling. Dissatisfied with the mundanity of regular life, Akagi decides that undertaking frequent life-or-death gambles is the way to go for him--leaving husks of broken men in his wake.
Akagi is exceptionally calm and composed, especially during high-stakes gambles, where he'll bet ridiculous amounts of money, his body parts, other people's body parts, his own life, and so on. His playing style (and lifestyle) is defined by his absurd willingness to take risks, cheat, and dominate his opponents both physically and psychologically. He's completely fearless, full of self-confidence, and pursues victory while staring Death in the eyes, and with his extraordinary luck, occasionally kicks Death in the face. However, Akagi's not without a sense of humor...though it seems to be limited to the making-fun-of-your-opponents-and-chuckling-wryly variety.
Sample Post:
...I said, are you deaf, Hrghnarghahr-san? I don't have a ten. Go fish.
Oh? What are you getting mad for? We're no strangers to the game...you know the rules, and so do I, especially since you and Mragraaah-san just taught me five minutes ago. When you don't have the card your opponent is asking for, you say "Go fish," right? Don't try to make excuses by saying I cheated. If I did, isn't it your own fault for not catching me? Honestly...one can't expect to be handled so softly all the time. It's a ruthless world outside of this swamp of yours, you know.
So, Mraagraaah-san, do you have any aces? My, what's all this sputtering about? Don't tell me you're too blind to see your own hand. So you lack eyes. That just means you should know your own limits. I've played the blind before, and he had no problem getting utterly crushed by me. But you know, I never thought I'd be playing this "Go Fish" with a bunch of half-decomposing men in the middle of...Camp Fuck You Die, was it? Now I'm in your swamp, defeating you at this simple children's card game. It's interesting what life throws at you...but I have to say, this isn't interesting enough. The higher the stakes, the better the game. And why don't we live up to the name of "Camp Fuck You Die?"
If either of you manage to make me "go fish," then you'll get the brains you so dearly want. But...if we finish a game without me having to "go fish," then both of you really will go fish in that lake over there. And by that, I mean you get to hurl yourselves toward the enormous monster in it. It's looking interesting now, right? After all, you can't survive if you don't die...although I wonder if this applies to the already dead, heh. I hope those fingers of yours don't hinder your shuffling, then.
Now...let's start. Hrghnarghahr-san, do you have any threes?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Iron Maiden Jeanne
Series: Shaman King
Character Age: 11
Canon: Even stories revolving around boys and their ghosts need a plot, or at least a plot device. Every five hundred years, there is a tournament where shamans from all over the world come together to compete to become the Shaman King. Perhaps you've heard of Buddha or Jesus? These two well-known gentlemen won their respective tournaments! Unfortunately, the tournament to decide who becomes the next Shaman King is based purely on ability, so there's no guarantee that the victor will be a good person. When a boy who wants to destroy the world and replace it with his ideal is the guaranteed victor, someone has to step in. Sadly, there isn't anyone with any common sense to fix things, so Iron Maiden Jeanne will just have to do, wielding her spirit to torture her opponents with the power of divine justice.
Jeanne is a young girl who lives in an iron maiden,, that carries the world's sins and expands her Shaman abilities. She wields her spirit Shamash to torture her opponents to death as her method of fighting. Despite what type of person this may sound like, she's actually a very sweet and inspiring girl, one speech she gave to her enemies made those who listened in on it cry. Normally quiet and stoic, she generally lets others take the limelight even though she's the leader of a fairly strong team in the tournament. Whether she's monologuing at length about the necessity of torture or offering to kiss boys back to life (long story!), this is one little girl you don't want to pick a fight with!
Sample Post:
Torture devices have been used throughout history by every great civilization. Chinese water torture, crucifixion, flagellation, the rack. The list of methods used are nearly endless. Prisoners are placed in a position where they cannot escape, and are forcibly encouraged to confess all he knows out of fear. I bear these devices of punishment as a way to show my determination to protect this world and lift it from the darkness that it has sunk into. People inflict pain upon one another, telling lies and living outside the law. Those who implement these measures often do so as a way to keep the population from rejecting the law that is in place. Society cannot function without law, and those who violate it are punished, as you can see by looking out the Camp around you. Those who disobey the rules face the consequences, no matter how unorthodox Camp's punishments may be. Even so, I am not familiar with Murphy's Law, or with why that would cause me any problems, Mr. Anon.
I wish to ease this world's sorrow, and I will bind myself to instruments of torture to enforce the rules of this place. I have come to this Camp to relieve the inhabitants of their sorrow, and a great deal of what they suffer comes from rejecting the local laws. We have seen what happens in this place -- children fight one another in pools of jello, adults ignore the children surrounding them in order to flee mistletoe, and innocent bystanders are forced to look at 4chan in order to understand in-jokes shared by their friends. Those who wear scrunchies face retribution, often in the form of marauding radio buttons. While the exact bans and rules may shift over time, it is still very important to follow them. Please repent and head towards a life of justice. Yes, even an Anon must accept justice into his life.
Sharing your knowledge with others over the internet is a good way to start on this path. It is a means of communication between people, a method of bringing information to those in distant lands. The message of justice can spread to those who would otherwise never hear it. If you wish to share this with Bee then you are free to do so. I can understand why you would what to include a picture of me with your message to the world, and even why you would share the image of my iron maiden with the world. However, it does not seem as though the people reading what you wrote seem to understand the value of what has been shared with them. Such terrible words are the first step into evil. Between the bad grammar and strange demands, it is clear that Anonymous does not understand the value of of what he has been offered, relevant to his interests or otherwise. Justice cannot forgive this, nor will it forget. I feel sorry for them.
Mr. Anon, uploading something called "loli-mascot.jpg" does not count as repentance.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mint
Series: Threads of Fate (official site)
Character Age: mid-teens
Canon: Threads of Fate is the story of two teens who meet by chance while looking for the same thing--a [relic], a rare, arcane object of immense mystic power. The boy, Rue, hopes to save the life of his sister. The girl, Mint, wants to take over the world.
Brash, self-centered, and (over)confident, Mint was the crown princess of the East Heaven Kingdom until her irresponsibility got her passed over for her little sister. Fired up, Mint goes on a two year journey to find a [relic], intending not only to reclaim her rule over East Heaven, but the entire world. Along the way she grows--well...not so much. She is still blunt, greedy and conniving, but she does gain various elemental spells and even a few friends, dropkicks several bandits in the head, and even defeats an evil threat to all existence, blah blah. In the end all she really worries about is showing up her younger sister, Maya--and world domination.
Sample Post
Gorillas! Toucans! Goats! ...Whatever the heck you things are! Welcome! It is your utmost pleasure to meet me, the one and only Princess Mint, future queen of the East Heaven Kingdom and the world!!!
...That was the part where you were supposed to applaud, duh. Okay, whatever. I have a proposition for you. Now, a lot of people will say I usually and only ever think about myself--for example, my sister, anyone I've ever traveled with, that guy at the pub who I really should've kicked in the head--but today I'm here to talk about you. See, be you woman or beast (or...whatever you are), it's important to be forward-thinking! It's important to have a lofty-yet-achievable goal! And I think we can achieve this goal together, through these four simple steps:
1. Find an easily-conquered village.
2. Overpower them with wit & beatings beauty until
they give up their [relics].
3. ???
4. World domination♪
Pretty simple, huh? Now, I've already finished numbers 1 and 3 shortly after scoping out your measly collection of shacks near the lake! But, for 2, that's where I need the help.
Maybe it's the everspawning monster hordes (no offense), maybe it's the semi-active volcano, maybe it's the midboss in the lake, but I just know this area has got to have at least one super-special [relic]! Unfortunately, a beautiful and talented girl like me just doesn't have the time to go tramping through every single little dungeon, beating up enemies and figuring out precision jumping-puzzles. ...Though, I am pretty darned spectacular at precision-jumping and beating up enemies, if I say so myself! And I do. Still, there're like, at least five different dungeons in this area, and I'm kinda in a hurry.
That's why I've recruited all of you! Out of all the weird, semi-sentient and possibly powerful things in this forest, you guys are the most potentially malleable to my will. And be you big, small, fire-breathing, or whatever, if you decide to help me out--be my minion, you might say--I will guarantee you a very very VERY small part of the riches, honor and glory I'll have when I take over the world! Don't worry, I promise to be a kind and fair queen--unless you cross me, in which case I'm gonna make your life a living hell! Hahahahaha! Everyone back home can eat it!!!
...Anyway! If you guys can just check out this area and bring any gold, treasure or [relics] you find back to me, I promise to share them 9:1 between me and you. See? Everybody wins! Note that all promises are non-binding. I, of course, will stay here, sipping exotic drinks and, uh, strategizing. Oh--and if you don't like the idea? I'll beat you to a bloody pulp and sell your pelts at the nearest shop! Like I said, everybody wins♪
Got it team? Now, get out there! It's time for world domination, baby!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Urashima Kanako
Series: Love Hina (manga)
Age: 17-18
Canon: Love Hina is the story of Urashima Keitaro, a fellow so suave, so sexy, so talented, that - well, no, he's a complete failure. But he's got some charm; after all, even his own sister decided to get a piece of that hot action. Kanako, Keitaro's "unadorable" adopted sibling and dedicated stalker, crashes onto the scene while Keitaro is off doing archaeological field study in America. Her goal? To drive off every other girl in the series who has a crush on her brother and then marry him herself when he returns to Japan. Her level of success? Not too shabby! After all, Kanako is a master of manipulation and disguise; her obsession with costumes and studying people is second only to her obsession with Keitaro. She will gladly resort to deception, magic, or heavy bondage to make him her own. Even after admitting her loss of Keitaro to Naru and wishing them well, Kanako continues her attempted sabotage of the relationship.
Kanako is a lonely, quiet, awkward loligoth with a tendency to talk to herself for lack of relationships; she even goes so far as to keep herself company using the powers of ventriloquism and her pet cat, and even he insults her. Her usual demeanor is utterly deadpan and blunt, no matter what kind of insane lie she's telling or misguided plot she's attempting. Even with her lifetime subscription of social and self-esteem issues, Kanako is a perfectionist, very forceful and forward about what she wants, and it takes a hell of a lot to ruffle her out of her blank insistence on How Things Should Be. She's a little bit crazy and it shows, but deep down she's really a sweet girl who just wants to make some friends. Stalking them, spying on them, and stealing their identities? Just a hobby!
Sample Post:
Braaaaaaaiiiins. Braaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnns.
...Mmm. No. It's not quite right, not yet. Hitting the pitiful wailing note is proving more difficult than I imagined. Perhaps I need to hear it one more time, Zombie-san. Incidentally, I was sorry to hear about your beloved mother. I'm afraid she won't be returning to the camp... she wandered too far into the forest and was abducted by an alien craft. Upon reaching the creatures' home planet, she went into politics and died wealthy but corrupt, and she is remembered now as the planet Zargon's least effective president. Yes, I'm terribly sorry. You hadn't heard? I'll give you a moment to mourn.
Ah. Yes. There's the wailing note I need to master.
I see that once I perfect the design of my mask, blending in with the native population of this camp won't be too difficult. I do have a special melting latex that should allow me to lose eyeballs on cue. Brother dearest... is this what you were faced with during your study overseas? You're an even braver man than I gave you credit for. ♥ I knew that coming to America would give me a deep, intimate insight into your experiences. Unfortunately, my extensive search of American campsites hasn't yet turned up any trace of a blanket you might have slept on. I wanted something to cuddle with tonight. But I still feel closer to you than ever before, having gazed at the same stars you saw while you were away, and having bathed myself in the same radioactive waters that undoubtedly melted the clothes from your powerful frame... my nose is bleeding... I'm not sure if this is the heat of the moment or an effect of the radiation, but my heart remains the same.
Before we meet again, Brother, I have my own research to undertake. It doesn't bother me a bit to be trapped here, you see. Director... may I call you Sensei? I've heard so much about what you're capable of. You draw people in to your web of deceit, trap them with your magical barrier, force them into one another's arms with innocent-looking purple goo, and all for the sake of the man you love. I've already infiltrated the ranks of your minions, under the guise of "Gorilloli-chan," to learn what I could of your techniques. And I must bow my head and admit that I'm in the presence of a true master. I realize now that I've been immature in my ways and have much to learn about pursuing love.
In return for your unmatched expertise on how to create awkward sexual tension, I can teach your gorillas the "Urashima Special Hogtie Technique #34: Hanging Valley." I promise you from experience, it's very easy to use even on targets who refuse to get out of bed. I can make your zombies more terrifying... have you ever done any research into the world of prosthetics? You're unnecessarily limiting yourself to only two empty eye sockets when the careful application of latex allows for so much more horror. The cameras in the bathrooms, I've noticed, leave too many blind spots unmonitored. My knowledge in this field, too, can only improve your control over your victims. Yes, Director-sensei, I will become your disciple. As two women who have experienced the pain of lost love, I think we understand one another, don't we?
As for Marcy-san, I don't think I can improve her. But I do think she'd make a lovely wedding present for a certain young lady I know in Japan.
Poll Vote!