(no subject)
doo doo doo, app time. Apps are open until 6 AM EST on October 3rd!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Agatsuma Soubi
Series: Loveless
Character Age: 20
Canon: Twelve-year-old Aoyagi Ritsuka really has enough problems in his life already, what with his amnesia, an abusive mother, and the recent murder of his beloved older brother, Seimei. But fate isn't kind enough to leave it at that. Ritsuka discovers that his brother was part of a strange world where pairs of individuals battle each other with Spells. He inherits Seimei's "Fighter Unit", a mysterious man named Soubi. With Soubi at his side, Ritsuka struggles to discover the truth behind his brother's "death" and is drawn into the world of Fighter and Sacrifice.
To the majority of people, Agatsuma Soubi shows an unpleasant face: disinterested, superior, and egotistical. He speaks to those around him, especially those he views as an enemy, with a mild, blandly amused tone filled with put-downs and over-sexual double-entendres. He is also a master of wordplay and great lover of poetics. However, there are some ways this mask breaks. He hates talking about himself directly and, if he does so, he masochistically dwells on the horrible way it makes him feel. His past as an abuse victim, combined with his breaking of the moral standards that Fighter Units are held to (by surviving when Seimei did not), has led to a debilitating fear of emotional pain and no small amount of self-loathing. That's one side of things. His mask also comes off due to his love of children. So long as they don't approach him as an enemy, he has a strong drive to take care of them. Whether he's cooking for Ritsuka and his friends to ensure they eat properly, or whether it's giving a pre-teen girl self-confidence advice, Soubi fancies himself a "nice big brother" type. Of course, it all gets a little bit creepy when one considers that he's emotionally dependant on Ritsuka, wanting both to be loved and to be commanded by him. And it goes way, way beyond creepy once one considers that he has an active pedophiliac interest in his twelve-year-old master. But hey. Weird and creepy? It's just how Soubi rolls.
Sample app:
Murder, is it? What a terrible thing to have happen. If you've lost the person you love the most, your beloved, you must be devastated. Broken, taken apart, bereft -- your purpose vague, your reason to live vanishing, fading before your eyes. Oh, but please do not think I am interrogating your relationship from the wrong perspective; I cannot know your feelings. But, surely, whether you loved him, whether you hated him, whether you feared him or desired him, he was yours and you were his. And now he is gone. Your bonds, whatever they were, are now severed. Surely you feel as though your heart is only pounding out blood to make a mockery of the fact that you have outlived him. Moving through life as though you were a zombie yourself -- well, now. Perhaps that was your inspiration for those things that met me by the gate? I hope you don't mind the condition I left them in. The damage may have been a little much, but if someone's taken action against you, you really need to kick them while they're down, Mrs. Sayre.
Oh, my apologies. It's "Miss" Sayre, isn't it?
Though, speaking of the zombies, they're rather unsafe for the campers here, aren't they? You know your captives can't all be that man's killers. Or are you the sort of woman who likes to punish the innocent? Unfortunately, I really hate that type, but I'm sure you'll cope with the disappointment of knowing that. Still, if you're not trying to torment all the campers, there could really stand to be a few improvements around the place. Might I suggest fewer monsters? And I hope the mess hall isn't serving something like cafeteria food. Children need proper nourishment -- I don't know what "Tuesday's Soup" is, but though the brochure claims it's hearty fare sure to fill you with vitality, the accompanying picture seems to suggest it's more "filled with hearts and other vitals". It would, admittedly, be hypocritical for me to try to say that no child should have a man's meat in his mouth, but these are growing adolescents you must care for. You shouldn't do something if you're not willing to do it properly.
Food isn't the only possible problem. Are these cabins properly insulated? This camp's a year-round prison, so what's keeping these children warm in their beds at night? Are the cabins kept clean? I wouldn't want to see the youth become dirtied. And, of course, there's issue of the counsellors. At first glance, the large list in the back of the brochure may make it seem that the children are at least being properly watched over at all times... but with so many, do the children get any time to themselves? At all times, do they really need an adult? And are the adults themselves safe? And you fail to mention your hiring procedures. Especially given that the showers are shared between camper and counsellor -- I checked -- isn't it of some concern what sort of unsafe individuals you might have brought into this camp? They might want all manner of perverted things.
I know it must be difficult to tear your mind from your fiance's fate, Miss Sayre, but please, think of the children.
Poll Vote!
Character: Claire Bennet
Series: Heroes
Character Age: 17
Canon: Ordinary people living ordinary lives realize they’ve changed: they have powers and are part of the next step of evolution. Some can fly, some can regenerate, and some act like sponges for powers. They’re all meant to change or save the world. Some of their trials in doing this include saving the cheerleader or stopping a villain who has a taste for brains.
The aforementioned cheerleader is Claire Bennet, a seemingly normal and bright teenage girl who once wanted nothing more than to live an average life. The discovery of her healing ability that makes her practically indestructible shattered this world view. Although she first thought it made her a freak, Claire eventually stepped into the shoes of a hero. Of course, she might be a hero, but she’s still a teenage girl: witty on occasion, happy when the situation’s right, and, unsurprisingly, still insecure. Even with all her problems, she manages to keep a balance between all this, seeming cool, collected, and does her best to seem strong. Since she’s young, she often doesn’t think before she dives into catastrophic situations, even if it might accidentally take numerous lives. Claire often forgets that even if she’s indestructible, things don’t always go as planned. Focusing on helping others has distracted her from her own problems-like the fact that she can’t feel pain anymore and now questions her humanity, not to mention her own bloodlust that can come out. For Claire, though, she was the cheerleader who got saved, and it’s now her turn to figure out how to save the world. That is, after one more attempt at normalcy. After all, saving the world will be easier with a college education, won’t it?
Note: Claire is being apped from the end of season three.
Sample Post:
Oh. Great.
I’m finally heading back to California to start on this whole “normal life” thing, and what happens? Emergency landing over Louisiana, only the emergency part was where I went flying out of a plane while trying to keep everyone else inside. It was dangerous, I know it was dangerous, but I figured if anyone should handle it, it’s me. And I did, only now it looks like instead of landing in some swamp outside of small southern town, I’ve landed in what I’d guess would be the Bermuda Triangle. Only instead of Bermuda, it’s in Louisiana for some reason. There are gorillas, zombies, a thing with giant slimy tentacles in the lake that looks like it’s a radioactive plant, and … strangely, birds that can talk to me. I’d never heard of birds-or any animals-getting caught up in this next step of evolution thing, but maybe it’s reaching them, too.
Then again, there’s just one problem. Last I checked-meaning, the last time I took a real biology class-toucans weren’t native to Louisiana. So, what’s going on? I’ve noticed that once you get in, you really can’t get out. Which means … when they mentioned that I was a hero that came along with the strength to carry on, they really placed some high hopes in me. So, um, hi, everyone. I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to do that, but I guess I can give you a few pointers. It might help with the zombies when they try to get your brains out of your beaks, right?
Okay, so first: make sure your enemy is actually a bad guy. The goats I walked past seemed pretty annoying, but they were just happy to see me. When talking to them, I realized that distracting them helped a lot. Breaking my arm didn’t do the trick, but that lacy pair of underwear off that tree? That almost made their eyes pop out in joy, almost like they’re one of the zombies walking around here. Just don’t decide you wanna wear underwear on the outside as a costume to do this all the time; actually, don’t do a costume at all. Real heroes don’t need costumes. And, if you ask me, you look good with just your feathers out anyway. Just do your best, and what you think is right. I’m not sure what else to give you, but I think as long as you remember to help others, that’s what matters. Use your feathers wisely, everyone.
It’s gonna be a lot of work and you’ll probably make some mistakes, but I think you can band together like a good flock of toucans and do it. Maybe you can handle some things here first, like maybe that thing in the lake. … Wait, that’s not a good plan? You’re supposed to save it? Save the tentacle monster, save the world?
Maybe I got the whole scope of this place wrong, after all.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Mullin Shetland
Series: Last Exile
Age: 19
Canon: In the steampunk-inspired world of Last Exile, two nations wage an airborne struggle for survival across the skies of planet Prester. Through that conflict flies Claus, a young courier pilot who, along with his navigator Lavie, seeks to transport and protect a very special cargo that holds the key to unlocking some heavy mysteries and ending the conflict for good.
Mullin Shetland enters their story as a rifleman aboard a military airship, the survivor of a decimated unit long since tired of fighting on behalf of generals who value their honor more than his life. Inspired by the heroes’ dedication to their mission when they first meet, Mullin stages a mutiny of one to rescue them, ultimately jumping ship to join them aboard the famed rogue battleship Silvana in the hope of finding a worthy cause of his own. But the transition isn’t an easy one, as Mullin is often left feeling unappreciated by new crewmates less than impressed with his past exploits and only mildly tolerant of his current efforts.
Alternately hapless and heroic, Mullin is a young man struggling to balance increasing discouragement against the desire to prove himself and justify his steadfast beliefs in certain basic principles-that bravery and hard work should count for something (particularly when it’s his); that there’s no shame in trying and failing as long as you try again (and again, if necessary); and that eventually some woman, somewhere, will finally give him the time of day (and hopefully soon).
Sample Post:
Listen, I could really use your help here. You seem pretty reliable, and that’s more than I can say for the other people I’ve met so far. Mostly they’ve mumbled something about brains before going to pieces on me-almost like they didn’t have any backbone, even though sometimes I could see it. . .
I’d understand it if you don’t believe me. Everyone in the fleet hears horror stories like this, about how somebody came back from shore leave with a black eye or a very poorly thought out tattoo in the shape of somebody’s mother. And everybody laughs it off and only half-believes them, because they always start out the same way: “I was just looking for a good time. . .”
But I really was just looking for a good time! That’s what shore leave is supposed to be about, after all, and by now I think I’ve earned it. You pull up to the dock with a month’s salary to spend on drinks or a night at the races or some friendly companionship. . . or so I’ve heard. But that’s still been enough to know you’re supposed to come back with some fond memories and a good story to tell in your downtime-and that’s not what’s shaping up here! One of the mumblers told me that what happens in CFUD stays in CFUD, but that’d only be reassuring if it wasn’t actually still happening to me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, but I thought in a place called the Casino Fantastico Ultra Deluxe my luck might finally change. But your “luxury resort accommodations” leave a lot to be desired-from the advertisements I expected something a little more than old shacks stuck in the middle of swampy nowhere. And I was still willing to give this place a chance, because at least there’s a bar and that can make up for a lot if you’re lucky. That’s something else I heard. But when you end up getting served something called the Tuesday Special that makes you black out, only to wake up and find yourself being dragged towards the 24 Hour Love Chapel by a shaggy purple thing named Tiny Beulah, I think it’s time to admit your luck has run out.
So. This obviously wasn’t the kind of companionship I was hoping for, but I’m trying to look on the bright side. They told me it’s supposed to be a shotgun wedding, which was great news. . . at least until I found out mine wasn’t loaded.
So please. I’ve given up on looking for a good time, because now all I’m looking for is some ammunition. I just need you to tell me where they keep the shells-I can take it from there. Come on, at least give a guy a fighting chance!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Ganymede
Series: Olympos
Character Age: He looks around 16, but who knows how long
Apollo's had him holed up in that garden.
Canon: Lots of people have an interest in the Ancient Greek
myths - and who wouldn't, what with the sheer amount of sex and angst
that's involved. Offering a new take on the great godly soap opera is
Olympos, which opens with a young man, Heinz, praying to God. As it
turns out for Heinz, when God turns up as a pretty young man, kisses
you on the mouth, and offers to grant your wish in return for a tiny
favor, it might be more of a foolish move than you expected.
Especially when that small favor involves moving an immovable object.
That immovable object is also known as Ganymede.
Olympos could be seen, really, as an exercise in kicking a man when
he's down. Ganymede, Prince of Troy, has been imprisoned in Apollo's
miniature garden for thousands of years. Understandably, he's a little
depressed about it. He clings tightly to his nobility and what remains
of his dignity, looking down on Heinz as being "ordinary", and is
insufferably frank -- it doesn't matter if it's someone's most fervent
hopes and dreams, if he thinks that they're boring, he will tell them
so. Regarding his predicament, meanwhile, he maintains that there is
no hope left for him -- and he doesn't like to be bothered about it.
In fact, being told to hope for the future annoys him to the point
that he will cut off his own arm to prevent having to think about it.
Yet, underneath that facade, he still wants to believe that someday he
will be lucky, that he will be freed. Unfortunately for him, that day
just hasn't come around yet, and doesn't seem to be coming by any time
soon. Alas.
Sample Post:
Do you know something about hope? It's meant to be the one thing that
keeps you from going mad . . . but it's like the single drop of water
on a thirsty man's face. It's the thing that makes you lose your
mind. And because of that . . . I shouldn't think it. I know I'll be
disappointed, but . . . I think it's finally happened. I think I've
finally been let go.
When I got here, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was more likely
that this place wasn't really here . . . that it was just one of that
bastard Apollo's tricks. I thought that maybe he just wanted me to
think I was free, to see my face when I realized it was all a lie. I
was so determined not to fall for it -- which is why I was so
surprised when I started to think it was actually real after all. I
mean, the swamp didn't tell me anything one way or another, since I'm
sure he'd find it hilarious to see me get stuck in mud and look like
an idiot . . . uhm. Not that something like that just happened, or
anything. I was wandering without hoping at all . . . just like I've
been doing for all those years. But now I've met you, I definitely
know I'm right. This place surely has to be real. Maybe . . .
maybe I've been lucky after all, finally. Maybe I'm free.
Do you want to know how I know? It's because you're the first person
I've met since I came here. It's simple: you're really ugly.
You see . . . I know I'm the stranger here, but where I come from
people don't really wear their insides on their outsides, unless
they're really unlucky. But . . . don't feel too bad! The toes on your
right foot seem to be very well formed, at least. Anyway, with you
being this ugly, it definitely means that this place isn't
something made up by Apollo. He only likes beautiful things. I'm sick
of it. When everything's beautiful, you can't tell what to appreciate
anymore . . . so, in that sense, I'm really grateful to you. All of
you. Everything here. The gorillas in the dresses, the odd looking
birds, the grabby monster . . . the fetid stink. You and all your
friends, as well, as ridiculous sounding as you are, demanding brains
all the time. It's all so mundane, it all smells so bad, it's so
disgusting ... and I love it. Thank you, for just existing!
With that said . . . now, I'm leaving. I've been away from the world
so long . . . there has to be better places than this. Ah, it's good
to be excited about something again! I'll find the cities, see real
people, maybe I can even go home . . . -- why are you sniggering like
that? It's going to happen. I wouldn't stay here for even a
second longer than I had to. Why would I?
. . . that isn't funny. Of course there's an exit.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jennifer Check
Series: Jennifer's Body
Character Age: 17
Canon: In the small town of Devil's Kettle, high school "it girl" Jennifer Check has everything a self-centered teenage girl could ever ask for: the lead position in the school's flag girls, a loyal BFF, a killer figure, all the boys in town wrapped around her little finger, and... an evil, blood-thirsty demon living inside her body.
You see, Jennifer Check is a man-eater. Literally. After deciding to play groupie one night to indie rock band Low Shoulder, Jennifer is kidnapped by the band members, who turn out to be Satanists looking to sacrifice a virgin to the devil in return for a totally awesome record deal. Their flawless plan (they googled it, naturally), however, backfires because you can't actually have a virgin sacrifice without a virgin. And Jennifer? Really not a virgin. So, left for dead out in the woods, our titular anti-heroine wakes up possessed by a succubus with a lust for human blood. A lust she sates by seducing and preying on her male classmates.
When full, the sharp-tongued Jennifer is nearly indestructible. Her wounds heal automatically and she can even hover. Feeding on the blood of innocents also really makes her skin and hair look super fab, not to mention the perky, ultra-scrumptious mood she's often in post-slaughter.
Needless to say, Jennifer Check (or whatever it is that's wearing her body) really enjoys being a girl.
Sample Post:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the presses. This isn't flag camp. This is some Camp Krusty, low-rent concentration camp shit. Look, I can make do, okay? I may be a classy gal, but I don't need classy digs. Look, it doesn't even have to be a flag camp... Cheer camp? I'd have even accepted band camp, because... well, everyone knows the music kids know how to have a good time, it's a scientific fact. Source: Uh, a little American cultural phenomenon called American Pie? Hello? I'm pretty sure an old science-type dude like Eugene Levy would not put his support behind a reel of lies.
Irregardless!
Right, I'm a woman on a mission. This big, scary camp is way too much for little, petite me. And we all know that the solution to a big, scary camp is an even bigger, charming gentleman willing to ward off any machete-wielding cliches looking to avenge and/or fuck their moms. Only the extra tasty need apply, boy-os. Please don't think I'm some sort of bitch, it's just that I'm used to looking at beautiful people in the glossies and you wouldn't want me to go into some sort of, like, culture shock, would you? That shit is serious.
And, okay? If Mr. Tall, Dark and Rotting over there is the best you can do, we're through, Camp Nowhere. Like, as officially through as a text message break-up after the first date. That's very through, if you're not familiar with your degrees of throughness. I'm asking for a well-prepared piece of rare steak here, and you're coming up with rotted wiener schnitzel without even the wiener part. The wiener could've made it work, but you can't even get that right, can you?
Whatever. Dramatic monologue over. Get back to me when you all look good enough to eat.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Agatsuma Soubi
Series: Loveless
Character Age: 20
Canon: Twelve-year-old Aoyagi Ritsuka really has enough problems in his life already, what with his amnesia, an abusive mother, and the recent murder of his beloved older brother, Seimei. But fate isn't kind enough to leave it at that. Ritsuka discovers that his brother was part of a strange world where pairs of individuals battle each other with Spells. He inherits Seimei's "Fighter Unit", a mysterious man named Soubi. With Soubi at his side, Ritsuka struggles to discover the truth behind his brother's "death" and is drawn into the world of Fighter and Sacrifice.
To the majority of people, Agatsuma Soubi shows an unpleasant face: disinterested, superior, and egotistical. He speaks to those around him, especially those he views as an enemy, with a mild, blandly amused tone filled with put-downs and over-sexual double-entendres. He is also a master of wordplay and great lover of poetics. However, there are some ways this mask breaks. He hates talking about himself directly and, if he does so, he masochistically dwells on the horrible way it makes him feel. His past as an abuse victim, combined with his breaking of the moral standards that Fighter Units are held to (by surviving when Seimei did not), has led to a debilitating fear of emotional pain and no small amount of self-loathing. That's one side of things. His mask also comes off due to his love of children. So long as they don't approach him as an enemy, he has a strong drive to take care of them. Whether he's cooking for Ritsuka and his friends to ensure they eat properly, or whether it's giving a pre-teen girl self-confidence advice, Soubi fancies himself a "nice big brother" type. Of course, it all gets a little bit creepy when one considers that he's emotionally dependant on Ritsuka, wanting both to be loved and to be commanded by him. And it goes way, way beyond creepy once one considers that he has an active pedophiliac interest in his twelve-year-old master. But hey. Weird and creepy? It's just how Soubi rolls.
Sample app:
Murder, is it? What a terrible thing to have happen. If you've lost the person you love the most, your beloved, you must be devastated. Broken, taken apart, bereft -- your purpose vague, your reason to live vanishing, fading before your eyes. Oh, but please do not think I am interrogating your relationship from the wrong perspective; I cannot know your feelings. But, surely, whether you loved him, whether you hated him, whether you feared him or desired him, he was yours and you were his. And now he is gone. Your bonds, whatever they were, are now severed. Surely you feel as though your heart is only pounding out blood to make a mockery of the fact that you have outlived him. Moving through life as though you were a zombie yourself -- well, now. Perhaps that was your inspiration for those things that met me by the gate? I hope you don't mind the condition I left them in. The damage may have been a little much, but if someone's taken action against you, you really need to kick them while they're down, Mrs. Sayre.
Oh, my apologies. It's "Miss" Sayre, isn't it?
Though, speaking of the zombies, they're rather unsafe for the campers here, aren't they? You know your captives can't all be that man's killers. Or are you the sort of woman who likes to punish the innocent? Unfortunately, I really hate that type, but I'm sure you'll cope with the disappointment of knowing that. Still, if you're not trying to torment all the campers, there could really stand to be a few improvements around the place. Might I suggest fewer monsters? And I hope the mess hall isn't serving something like cafeteria food. Children need proper nourishment -- I don't know what "Tuesday's Soup" is, but though the brochure claims it's hearty fare sure to fill you with vitality, the accompanying picture seems to suggest it's more "filled with hearts and other vitals". It would, admittedly, be hypocritical for me to try to say that no child should have a man's meat in his mouth, but these are growing adolescents you must care for. You shouldn't do something if you're not willing to do it properly.
Food isn't the only possible problem. Are these cabins properly insulated? This camp's a year-round prison, so what's keeping these children warm in their beds at night? Are the cabins kept clean? I wouldn't want to see the youth become dirtied. And, of course, there's issue of the counsellors. At first glance, the large list in the back of the brochure may make it seem that the children are at least being properly watched over at all times... but with so many, do the children get any time to themselves? At all times, do they really need an adult? And are the adults themselves safe? And you fail to mention your hiring procedures. Especially given that the showers are shared between camper and counsellor -- I checked -- isn't it of some concern what sort of unsafe individuals you might have brought into this camp? They might want all manner of perverted things.
I know it must be difficult to tear your mind from your fiance's fate, Miss Sayre, but please, think of the children.
Poll Vote!
Character: Claire Bennet
Series: Heroes
Character Age: 17
Canon: Ordinary people living ordinary lives realize they’ve changed: they have powers and are part of the next step of evolution. Some can fly, some can regenerate, and some act like sponges for powers. They’re all meant to change or save the world. Some of their trials in doing this include saving the cheerleader or stopping a villain who has a taste for brains.
The aforementioned cheerleader is Claire Bennet, a seemingly normal and bright teenage girl who once wanted nothing more than to live an average life. The discovery of her healing ability that makes her practically indestructible shattered this world view. Although she first thought it made her a freak, Claire eventually stepped into the shoes of a hero. Of course, she might be a hero, but she’s still a teenage girl: witty on occasion, happy when the situation’s right, and, unsurprisingly, still insecure. Even with all her problems, she manages to keep a balance between all this, seeming cool, collected, and does her best to seem strong. Since she’s young, she often doesn’t think before she dives into catastrophic situations, even if it might accidentally take numerous lives. Claire often forgets that even if she’s indestructible, things don’t always go as planned. Focusing on helping others has distracted her from her own problems-like the fact that she can’t feel pain anymore and now questions her humanity, not to mention her own bloodlust that can come out. For Claire, though, she was the cheerleader who got saved, and it’s now her turn to figure out how to save the world. That is, after one more attempt at normalcy. After all, saving the world will be easier with a college education, won’t it?
Note: Claire is being apped from the end of season three.
Sample Post:
Oh. Great.
I’m finally heading back to California to start on this whole “normal life” thing, and what happens? Emergency landing over Louisiana, only the emergency part was where I went flying out of a plane while trying to keep everyone else inside. It was dangerous, I know it was dangerous, but I figured if anyone should handle it, it’s me. And I did, only now it looks like instead of landing in some swamp outside of small southern town, I’ve landed in what I’d guess would be the Bermuda Triangle. Only instead of Bermuda, it’s in Louisiana for some reason. There are gorillas, zombies, a thing with giant slimy tentacles in the lake that looks like it’s a radioactive plant, and … strangely, birds that can talk to me. I’d never heard of birds-or any animals-getting caught up in this next step of evolution thing, but maybe it’s reaching them, too.
Then again, there’s just one problem. Last I checked-meaning, the last time I took a real biology class-toucans weren’t native to Louisiana. So, what’s going on? I’ve noticed that once you get in, you really can’t get out. Which means … when they mentioned that I was a hero that came along with the strength to carry on, they really placed some high hopes in me. So, um, hi, everyone. I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to do that, but I guess I can give you a few pointers. It might help with the zombies when they try to get your brains out of your beaks, right?
Okay, so first: make sure your enemy is actually a bad guy. The goats I walked past seemed pretty annoying, but they were just happy to see me. When talking to them, I realized that distracting them helped a lot. Breaking my arm didn’t do the trick, but that lacy pair of underwear off that tree? That almost made their eyes pop out in joy, almost like they’re one of the zombies walking around here. Just don’t decide you wanna wear underwear on the outside as a costume to do this all the time; actually, don’t do a costume at all. Real heroes don’t need costumes. And, if you ask me, you look good with just your feathers out anyway. Just do your best, and what you think is right. I’m not sure what else to give you, but I think as long as you remember to help others, that’s what matters. Use your feathers wisely, everyone.
It’s gonna be a lot of work and you’ll probably make some mistakes, but I think you can band together like a good flock of toucans and do it. Maybe you can handle some things here first, like maybe that thing in the lake. … Wait, that’s not a good plan? You’re supposed to save it? Save the tentacle monster, save the world?
Maybe I got the whole scope of this place wrong, after all.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Mullin Shetland
Series: Last Exile
Age: 19
Canon: In the steampunk-inspired world of Last Exile, two nations wage an airborne struggle for survival across the skies of planet Prester. Through that conflict flies Claus, a young courier pilot who, along with his navigator Lavie, seeks to transport and protect a very special cargo that holds the key to unlocking some heavy mysteries and ending the conflict for good.
Mullin Shetland enters their story as a rifleman aboard a military airship, the survivor of a decimated unit long since tired of fighting on behalf of generals who value their honor more than his life. Inspired by the heroes’ dedication to their mission when they first meet, Mullin stages a mutiny of one to rescue them, ultimately jumping ship to join them aboard the famed rogue battleship Silvana in the hope of finding a worthy cause of his own. But the transition isn’t an easy one, as Mullin is often left feeling unappreciated by new crewmates less than impressed with his past exploits and only mildly tolerant of his current efforts.
Alternately hapless and heroic, Mullin is a young man struggling to balance increasing discouragement against the desire to prove himself and justify his steadfast beliefs in certain basic principles-that bravery and hard work should count for something (particularly when it’s his); that there’s no shame in trying and failing as long as you try again (and again, if necessary); and that eventually some woman, somewhere, will finally give him the time of day (and hopefully soon).
Sample Post:
Listen, I could really use your help here. You seem pretty reliable, and that’s more than I can say for the other people I’ve met so far. Mostly they’ve mumbled something about brains before going to pieces on me-almost like they didn’t have any backbone, even though sometimes I could see it. . .
I’d understand it if you don’t believe me. Everyone in the fleet hears horror stories like this, about how somebody came back from shore leave with a black eye or a very poorly thought out tattoo in the shape of somebody’s mother. And everybody laughs it off and only half-believes them, because they always start out the same way: “I was just looking for a good time. . .”
But I really was just looking for a good time! That’s what shore leave is supposed to be about, after all, and by now I think I’ve earned it. You pull up to the dock with a month’s salary to spend on drinks or a night at the races or some friendly companionship. . . or so I’ve heard. But that’s still been enough to know you’re supposed to come back with some fond memories and a good story to tell in your downtime-and that’s not what’s shaping up here! One of the mumblers told me that what happens in CFUD stays in CFUD, but that’d only be reassuring if it wasn’t actually still happening to me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, but I thought in a place called the Casino Fantastico Ultra Deluxe my luck might finally change. But your “luxury resort accommodations” leave a lot to be desired-from the advertisements I expected something a little more than old shacks stuck in the middle of swampy nowhere. And I was still willing to give this place a chance, because at least there’s a bar and that can make up for a lot if you’re lucky. That’s something else I heard. But when you end up getting served something called the Tuesday Special that makes you black out, only to wake up and find yourself being dragged towards the 24 Hour Love Chapel by a shaggy purple thing named Tiny Beulah, I think it’s time to admit your luck has run out.
So. This obviously wasn’t the kind of companionship I was hoping for, but I’m trying to look on the bright side. They told me it’s supposed to be a shotgun wedding, which was great news. . . at least until I found out mine wasn’t loaded.
So please. I’ve given up on looking for a good time, because now all I’m looking for is some ammunition. I just need you to tell me where they keep the shells-I can take it from there. Come on, at least give a guy a fighting chance!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Ganymede
Series: Olympos
Character Age: He looks around 16, but who knows how long
Apollo's had him holed up in that garden.
Canon: Lots of people have an interest in the Ancient Greek
myths - and who wouldn't, what with the sheer amount of sex and angst
that's involved. Offering a new take on the great godly soap opera is
Olympos, which opens with a young man, Heinz, praying to God. As it
turns out for Heinz, when God turns up as a pretty young man, kisses
you on the mouth, and offers to grant your wish in return for a tiny
favor, it might be more of a foolish move than you expected.
Especially when that small favor involves moving an immovable object.
That immovable object is also known as Ganymede.
Olympos could be seen, really, as an exercise in kicking a man when
he's down. Ganymede, Prince of Troy, has been imprisoned in Apollo's
miniature garden for thousands of years. Understandably, he's a little
depressed about it. He clings tightly to his nobility and what remains
of his dignity, looking down on Heinz as being "ordinary", and is
insufferably frank -- it doesn't matter if it's someone's most fervent
hopes and dreams, if he thinks that they're boring, he will tell them
so. Regarding his predicament, meanwhile, he maintains that there is
no hope left for him -- and he doesn't like to be bothered about it.
In fact, being told to hope for the future annoys him to the point
that he will cut off his own arm to prevent having to think about it.
Yet, underneath that facade, he still wants to believe that someday he
will be lucky, that he will be freed. Unfortunately for him, that day
just hasn't come around yet, and doesn't seem to be coming by any time
soon. Alas.
Sample Post:
Do you know something about hope? It's meant to be the one thing that
keeps you from going mad . . . but it's like the single drop of water
on a thirsty man's face. It's the thing that makes you lose your
mind. And because of that . . . I shouldn't think it. I know I'll be
disappointed, but . . . I think it's finally happened. I think I've
finally been let go.
When I got here, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was more likely
that this place wasn't really here . . . that it was just one of that
bastard Apollo's tricks. I thought that maybe he just wanted me to
think I was free, to see my face when I realized it was all a lie. I
was so determined not to fall for it -- which is why I was so
surprised when I started to think it was actually real after all. I
mean, the swamp didn't tell me anything one way or another, since I'm
sure he'd find it hilarious to see me get stuck in mud and look like
an idiot . . . uhm. Not that something like that just happened, or
anything. I was wandering without hoping at all . . . just like I've
been doing for all those years. But now I've met you, I definitely
know I'm right. This place surely has to be real. Maybe . . .
maybe I've been lucky after all, finally. Maybe I'm free.
Do you want to know how I know? It's because you're the first person
I've met since I came here. It's simple: you're really ugly.
You see . . . I know I'm the stranger here, but where I come from
people don't really wear their insides on their outsides, unless
they're really unlucky. But . . . don't feel too bad! The toes on your
right foot seem to be very well formed, at least. Anyway, with you
being this ugly, it definitely means that this place isn't
something made up by Apollo. He only likes beautiful things. I'm sick
of it. When everything's beautiful, you can't tell what to appreciate
anymore . . . so, in that sense, I'm really grateful to you. All of
you. Everything here. The gorillas in the dresses, the odd looking
birds, the grabby monster . . . the fetid stink. You and all your
friends, as well, as ridiculous sounding as you are, demanding brains
all the time. It's all so mundane, it all smells so bad, it's so
disgusting ... and I love it. Thank you, for just existing!
With that said . . . now, I'm leaving. I've been away from the world
so long . . . there has to be better places than this. Ah, it's good
to be excited about something again! I'll find the cities, see real
people, maybe I can even go home . . . -- why are you sniggering like
that? It's going to happen. I wouldn't stay here for even a
second longer than I had to. Why would I?
. . . that isn't funny. Of course there's an exit.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jennifer Check
Series: Jennifer's Body
Character Age: 17
Canon: In the small town of Devil's Kettle, high school "it girl" Jennifer Check has everything a self-centered teenage girl could ever ask for: the lead position in the school's flag girls, a loyal BFF, a killer figure, all the boys in town wrapped around her little finger, and... an evil, blood-thirsty demon living inside her body.
You see, Jennifer Check is a man-eater. Literally. After deciding to play groupie one night to indie rock band Low Shoulder, Jennifer is kidnapped by the band members, who turn out to be Satanists looking to sacrifice a virgin to the devil in return for a totally awesome record deal. Their flawless plan (they googled it, naturally), however, backfires because you can't actually have a virgin sacrifice without a virgin. And Jennifer? Really not a virgin. So, left for dead out in the woods, our titular anti-heroine wakes up possessed by a succubus with a lust for human blood. A lust she sates by seducing and preying on her male classmates.
When full, the sharp-tongued Jennifer is nearly indestructible. Her wounds heal automatically and she can even hover. Feeding on the blood of innocents also really makes her skin and hair look super fab, not to mention the perky, ultra-scrumptious mood she's often in post-slaughter.
Needless to say, Jennifer Check (or whatever it is that's wearing her body) really enjoys being a girl.
Sample Post:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the presses. This isn't flag camp. This is some Camp Krusty, low-rent concentration camp shit. Look, I can make do, okay? I may be a classy gal, but I don't need classy digs. Look, it doesn't even have to be a flag camp... Cheer camp? I'd have even accepted band camp, because... well, everyone knows the music kids know how to have a good time, it's a scientific fact. Source: Uh, a little American cultural phenomenon called American Pie? Hello? I'm pretty sure an old science-type dude like Eugene Levy would not put his support behind a reel of lies.
Irregardless!
Right, I'm a woman on a mission. This big, scary camp is way too much for little, petite me. And we all know that the solution to a big, scary camp is an even bigger, charming gentleman willing to ward off any machete-wielding cliches looking to avenge and/or fuck their moms. Only the extra tasty need apply, boy-os. Please don't think I'm some sort of bitch, it's just that I'm used to looking at beautiful people in the glossies and you wouldn't want me to go into some sort of, like, culture shock, would you? That shit is serious.
And, okay? If Mr. Tall, Dark and Rotting over there is the best you can do, we're through, Camp Nowhere. Like, as officially through as a text message break-up after the first date. That's very through, if you're not familiar with your degrees of throughness. I'm asking for a well-prepared piece of rare steak here, and you're coming up with rotted wiener schnitzel without even the wiener part. The wiener could've made it work, but you can't even get that right, can you?
Whatever. Dramatic monologue over. Get back to me when you all look good enough to eat.
Poll Vote!