(no subject)
Second to last baaaaatch.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Nishijou Takumi
Series: Chaos;Head
Character Age: 17
Canon: In modern-day Shibuya, there have been a series of strange homicides called the New Gen killings. Through a series of unfortunate events, a teenage hikikomori otaku freak named Nishijou Takumi finds himself wrapped up in the center of all this, while a mysterious person by the name of "Shogun" seems to be trying to set him up as the perpetrator of these attacks.
Takumi has an extremely wild imagination, enough to hold conversations with his self-proclaimed wife, a figure of his favorite anime star, "Seira-tan." His delusions range from eroge-like fantasies to brutal, gory visions of his loved ones being killed. He has delusions so often that it's hard to discern what's real and what isn't. Furthermore, he always feels like someone is watching him, but no matter how many times he turns around, no one is there. His social awkwardness can be described as unhealthy, at best. When forced to talk with others, he is very rarely able to do so without stuttering, and he often mumbles to the point where people miss what he's saying anyway. Even when conversing with himself or Seira-tan in his head (which he does quite often), he tends to stumble over his thoughts.
Sample Post:
And so it seems that somehow I ended up in this situation. Why does someone like me have to endure something like summer camp? I can't help but feel it's an entirely too late apology for that field trip I didn't get to go on in elementary school, but I got over that a long time ago. I just want to go home. Well, so long as they give me a base of my own, I don't really care what happens. But rather, what concerns me is how dank this place looks. Do they get an internet connection here? Moreover, do they have computers? Th-They have to have computers... No matter how decrepit a place looks, nowadays all places have computers, right? Right; I'm just overthinking things. Ah, you're right, Seira-tan. No matter what happens, I have you, don't I? All right! Thanks to Seira-tan's smile, I feel like I can survive even in a rotten place like this one! Let's see, according to the map, if I head this direction... --!?
Z-Zombies...!? Those are zombies...!! N-No, g-get a grip. No matter how horror-like this setting may be, something like zombies must obviously mean that you're imagining things. See, if you pinch your cheek-- ow-- the delusion will dispel, and... They're still there. Well, wait, pinching your cheek is to determine if it's a dream, although I'm not sure if delusions and dreams are much different, but--
Wh-What are they doing now!? S-... Stop it...! Zombies aren't supposed to be posing like some cover of an eroge! Ahh, and I definitely recognize that pose! It's from “Bible Blue”-- Any self-proclaimed otaku is only worthy of calling themselves as such if they can identify that. Is that to say that the zombies are otaku? No, that's impossible... Or rather, that's hardly the problem here! I think I'm going to be sick... Delusion or not, this is too much... Ahh! Of course! In times like this, I just need Seira-tan's strength! Even if the pose isn't too sexy, the 1/8 pre-awakening model is still enough to admire Seira-tan's beautiful features--
E-Ehhh!? When did they grab my Seira-tan figure!? How dare you lay a hand on my precious wife...!! How dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you...!!!! I-If you damage her, I'm not going to forgive you, you understand!? It's bad enough you're soiling her with your dirty hands, but-- but-- stop that! Don't remove her panties!! What lies beneath there is supposed to be mine and only mine...! S-Seira-taaaan...!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kouryuu
Series: Wish
Character Age: Unknown, looks 17, 18.
Canon: CLAMP'S WISH is the story of Kohaku, an angel who lives with a human doctor, waiting for the moment when he can grant his wish. Which is all good and dandy, except for the fact that said doctor doesn't have Any Wishes At All. Totally boring! No-one in their right mind would want to hear about a human and Heaven's stupidest, clumsiest and chubbiest angel of them all, right? Right.
Instead, have Kouryuu: A demon who goes to Earth in order to tease the hell out of Kohaku and make his life as miserable as possible. If while doing so he gets to find yummy souls to feast upon, or interesting humans to try a little draperape action on, even better! Kouryuu pretty much seems to treat Earth as his personal playground. A bit temperamental, extremely cocky, and very mischievous, Kouryuu hates rabu-rabu-filled environments just as much as he hates being bored. When he's not busy pulling at Kohaku's metaphorical pigtails, Kouryuu will most likely be plotting just how to make Kohaku miserable enough to have his undivided attention on him. Denial? What denial are you talking about?
Note: in Wish, unexperienced angels turn into chibis during the night, while demons do that during the day.
Sample app:
So this is the place that Hell has been been sponsoring for a few years now, eh? Well, since I'm already here I might as well have a look around! I've heard many good things of Camp Fuck You Die: Gourmet food with Tuesdays for a special of longpig and bloodshakes! The best possible location for longer nights and shorter days, and every single soul trapped in here is so filled with misery that I almost feel it crawling in my skin! Without a sense of confidence, the pressure is too much for them to take... Absolutely perfect. I was getting to the point of madness with how bored I was. And, as an extra bonus, I'm sure that if enough humans cry and beg for help, that idiot angel will undoubtedly be lured here to see if he can do anything at all, and then he'll be trapped here! I'll be able to torture him every day, whenever I feel like it! Bwahahahaha!
Oh, what should I do first? It has to be perfectly planned so that I'll be my amazing self while he's all chubby and silly looking! So much to do, so little time-- oh, what's this? Yes, yes, let's start with the soup! Add as many bits and pieces of flesh as you can, and make it look red as blood! Lose a limb or two while you're at it so that you're as pathetic looking as possible, and make your moaning pitiful and devastating. Since he won't be able to help you, he'll start whimpering about how useless he is, which is always good!
Hey, I know you're earless, but are you deaf as well? I said pitiful, not horny. I want your presence to linger here, but not like that, sheeze! Give me more 'uughhh's than 'iyaaaaan's. If I wanted you to do that, I'd be doing this, see? Touching you here, and getting close just like this, putting my arms around your neck, maybe pressing up against you... noticed the difference? Even with just one eye, you should be able to follow this. Oh, you liked that, didn't you? Well, I'm sure we can do something about it... after you've done what I ordered you to do, so keep your remaining limbs to yourselves and stop stalling with your PDA! This is about me and making Clumsy miserable, not about zombies doing the horizontal mambo. Now, go! That stupid angel will be here soon, and everything has to be ready for him.
And just for your information; Unless you're thinking about wearing a mummy costume to make that idiot cry, I don't see what the hell all this mumbling about 'the Nile' has to do with anything here.
Poll Vote!
Character: Rachel Berenson (but shh, no one is supposed to know that last name)
Series: Animorphs
Character Age: 16
Canon: Unbeknownst to the general population, there is a war going on. Mind-stealing alien slugs, called Yeerks, have secretly invaded Earth in massive numbers. The only defense the Earth has is a group of six teens (five human, one alien). Pretty bad, right? But the situation isn't an entire loss. Out of desperation, a dying alien prince gave these teenagers the power to morph: the ability to transform into any creature they touch.. AND THUS, A TEAM OF SUPERHEROES WERE BORN~! And because all superhero teams need a catchy name, they decided to call themselves "Animorphs," short for "animal morpher."
Rachel, nicknamed "Xena, Warrior Princess" by fellow Animorph Marco, is the tough girl of this group. Beautiful, blond, and blue eyed, she looks like she could be the subject of an article in a fashion magazine or a stereotypical blond joke. Treat her like the latter, though, and you may find yourself missing significant portions of your anatomy. Sharp-tongued and energetic, she loves the rush that comes from any kind of competition, whether it be a battle with overwhelming odds or a two-for-one sale at the mall. At her beginning of the battle, she's just your average, if somewhat gung-ho, teenage girl, with a love of fashion, gymnastics, and proving female superiority. As the war rages on, however, she goes from merely aggressive to outright violent, and at her very worst can be destructive and little sadistic.
Note: Only skintight clothes stay on during a morph- everything else either gets shredded or shrunk out of.
Sample Post:
...Not this again.
It's bad enough to suddenly appear in a strange place when you live a completely normal life. It's even worse when you've had past experience with random teleportation, and you know that it always, always means that something bad is going to happen. At least this time I'm still on Earth; the sky looks the same, and the plants do too. Mostly, anyway-- is that tree growing underwear? And why briefs? Nasty.
Other than Earth, though, I have no idea where I am. I may not be the strongest in animal knowledge out of my group, but I do know that we don't have toucans living anywhere near home... and any idiot would know that normal birds don't use telepathy. Not that talking birds are new to me, but toucans? So. I have two questions for you, birdbrain, and you'd better answer both fast: What are you, and where are we?
...Psychic toucan. No, really? I never would have guessed. As for the second... you have got to be kidding me. Summer camp? I'm at a summer camp?! And of course it's not a nice, normal summer camp, ohhhh no. It's a camp straight out of those Goosebumps books- complete with radioactive lake (which, of course, must have something strange living in it), zombies, and an evil director! Wonderful.
God, what is it with my bad summer camp related experiences? Last time I tried to go to a camp, I ended up with amnesia and nearly got eaten by a dust-bunny from Saturn. Not that this is much better; there has to be some way for us to learn to morph clothes that aren't skin-tight. Being stuck wearing only a leotard is bad enough in the forest, but a swamp? Just because my friends say I can walk through a hurricane and still look amazing doesn't mean that I actually can. I would kill for a shower... which means you are going to tell me how to get out of here, now. I'm not exactly in my happy place at the moment.
"Until the one who killed the Director's fiance is found, nobody leaves?" --Okay, I take it back. This place isn't just a Goosebumps book; it's the disturbed, abused child of a Goosebumps book and a low-budget episode of Scooby-Doo. "Solve the murder mystery to leave the spoooooky summer camp!" But if that's what I have to do, then...
All right, Camp Fuck You Die. Let's do it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Celes Chère
Series: Final Fantasy VI
Character Age: 19 (As of the World of Ruin)
Canon: [Warning!! Spoilers ahead! ROSEBUD IS A SLED]
The Ghestalian Empire is unmatched in their power due to the force of magic, which had long fallen into the realm of myth. Their blend of magic and technology, dubbed "Magitek", has allowed them to conquer nearly every nation in the world. Of course there is a small resistance movement to oppose them--the Returners. The Returners have set their hopes on a young amnesiac woman named Terra, who has the remarkable and almost unheard of ability to do magic. As it turns out, she is not alone. The Returners unexpectedly gain the assistance of imperial general Celes Chère, a woman who has gained the power of magic through scientific experimentation.
Celes spoke out against the war and was imprisoned and on the eve of her execution, she's rescued and joins the Returners. With a cold exterior, and a no-nonsense attitude, Celes often refuses help from others and is slow to connect to her fellow rebels. She sees herself as a warrior first and a woman second. However all is not ice with the former general. It turns out that she's a dead-ringer for mysterious opera diva Maria, and her singing ain't too shabby either. After gaining the friendship (and no small amount of infatuation for a certain treasure hunter) of the Returners, she begins to work beyond the facade of a cold-as-ice woman and come into her own.
After the world is literally torn apart by midboss-turned-final villain Kefka, Celes is beyond despair (and depending on the actions of the player, suicidal). Once she rediscovers hope, she sets about pulling the party together again with the goal of saving the world.
Sample Post:
"Opera diva Maria promises to give charity concert in the town of Seefund." At least, that's the rumor that has the Impresario in a tizzy. He can't have his precious star running around when Kefka can destroy any city at any time. And who comes knocking at his door but me, Maria's supposed lookalike. I can't believe that I agreed to this farce again. I used to be a general! Now I'm playing dress-up in the middle of a swamp?! I should be fighting to take this world back from Kefka, not floundering around in a dress like some prima donna twit!
But, if the people of this town of Seefund are expecting a concert from Maria, I suppose I can oblige. After all, that may give them some measure of hope in these trying times ... and these people clearly need that. With their sallow faces, sunken eyes, and pitiful moans it's like they're wasting away with no life left in them, much less hope. Yes, the only plants which grow may be ones which bite. Yes, the wildlife may now only consist of terrifying monsters--but I believe that this is still a world worth saving! And I can't allow these people to fall so far as to give up on life. That is a mistake I can't let anyone make again, especially myself.
Even if that means wearing this embarrassing outfit that was provided by "Wai-Wai Lolita-chan." Pull together, Celes. You won't be defeated by silken bows and hoop skirts. Let's practice this aria before the big show. I heard that there were a few changes to the script... Hm. At least I know the tune, but the lyrics have been changed at the request of someone called "the Director."
♫ O dear zombie, my departed
Shall we still be made to rot
Eating these brains and putrid remains
Yet there's not much left for thought
I am living, you're the undead
shuffling slowly from afar
unfortunately, it's not meant to be
I will slaughter you, har har haaaaaar! ♫
Does this "Director" think that this is some kind of joke?! If this is the kind of directorship that Seefund lives under, it's clear that what's needed right now isn't song, but steel. I think it's time I cut a deal with this Director...as soon as I can find a way out of this corset.
Poll Vote!
Character: Capella
Series: 07-GHOST
Character Age: Tiny tiny shouta. (6~8-ish?)
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a little prince who, through a series of misfortunes and ~destiny~, grew up to be a little military student named Teito Klein instead. (Though he'd fight you on the "little" part.) He was unaware of his noble heritage, and most of his past at that, until one day he discovered that the military he was about to join had been the cause of much of his misfortune, with a certain vicious man causing the most. Once he escaped from the man and the military as a wanted criminal, he briefly took shelter with the church, before deciding to start a journey to uncover the rest of the truth behind his past.
Capella is a young boy that Teito rescues from a life of slavery along his journey. Despite being enslaved at his young age, Capella's a fairly cheerful boy, if not always the most talkative one. He's eager to please and determined to one day be strong, just like his Teito-niichan! And while he might be more considerate and a much harder worker than most children his age, Capella shows his youth in other ways, such as being afraid of the dark or using the toilet at night by himself, and hating to take baths. He's also very curious about the world, and directs most of his questions to Teito, who he admires very much and has an unshakable faith in. Capella spends his time traveling with a wanted man, occasionally working hard as a tiny waiter at a bar and inn, trying to be like Teito, running away from baths, being hunted by slave traders, and let's not forget being absolutely adorable- just your average kid, really!
Sample Post:
I'll start at the beginning! Is that okay, mister counselor? 'Kay, so today was supposed to be my first day of kindergarten, but I didn't find out until I got here! At first, I was scared 'cause all the other kids sounded all sick and sad and I didn't know where I was! And even after the teacher told me what kindergarten was I was confused. I didn't think teachers were supposed to be big and purple, and everyone else was asking for big brains... Shouldn't they be happy that kindergarten is for learning? But the teacher just said that even though they moaned and groaned, they weren't as dead on their feet as the "call-edge" students. I didn't know what that meant, but I thought I should try hard to be happy about learning instead anyway! That way I'll be smart like Teito-niichan. And then I didn't let the confusing stuff bother me!
It was easy after that! And at coloring time the teacher even called my picture of the big squirmy fish in the water stuuuupendous. He hanged it up on the tree with all those clothes too! I even drawed it hugging someone with lots of little hearts, 'cause I was doing my best to make it look just like the real one. But someday I'll have to try even harder, because I'll be a big kid and hang clothes on the tree instead of pictures! Another boy said that the big kids wear those little clothes instead, but wouldn't they get cold? Maybe he didn't hear the teacher, since his ears were all gone...
But that would be sad 'cause he'd miss storytime! I liked The Tentacle Monster's New Clothes and Tsunderella, but The Little Robocow that Could was the best! It was about a robocow that had to get out of a closet because it was thirsty, and there was nothing to drink in the closet! It tried to push the doors open, and when it thought "I think I can, I think I can" it got them open! And once it got out of the closet it got to have some milk that kittens couldn't drink so it wasn't thirsty anymore. It was great that it got to get stronger just by thinking it could! And I want to get stronger too, so I'll try my hardest to think hard about it and drink lots of milk like the robocow.
I got to start drinking more milk right away too, 'cause then it was snacktime! That was another confusing part of the day... I got in trouble 'cause everyone thought I stole the cookies from the cookie jar! But once we figured out it was really the fuzzy blue guy that did it it was okay. After that we all started singing a song and it was fun! It was about how we all loved each other and were a big happy family. I liked that song! The teacher started passing out cups of red juice when we were done, but I was full from my apples and bananas. So don't worry, mister! I didn't drink the Kool-Aid!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurita Ryokan
Series: Eyeshield 21
Character Age: 17
Canon: Kobayakawa Sena grew up as a running boy doing favors for bullies to avoid getting beat up. Instead, now he runs around as the mysterious Eyeshield 21, trying not to get beat up by opponents on the football field. Good thing he's really fast. This is the story of the Deimon Devil Bats, the little football team that could.
Sena's first introduction to football is when he meets Kurita Ryokan, who becomes Sena's first friend after joining the school. Kurita is a kind upperclassman with a love and enthusiasm for football that cannot be beat. Kurita goes out of his way to be helpful to others and hopes that others return the favor (by JOINING THE DEVIL BATS PLEASE) but doesn't hold grudges if they don't, which is often (he's also incredibly gullible). On the field, the normally timid Kurita gets fired up and is a feared opponent with good reason. Kurita's personality might be cuddly like a teddybear, but he literally has the strength of a bear.
Sample Post:
Good morning everyone! My name is Kurita Ryokan. I play center position in the Deimon Devil Bats team! Thank you for coming to this recruitment session! I was expecting a little more people to show up. I was afraid that 500 cream puffs wouldn't be enough, so I doubled the amount. Not that I'm not grateful that you came. Not at all! This is great! We will just finish these all together! How many can you each eat? Is 60 each enough for you? Okay, we'll eat them later! That can be your motivation to finish.
First, what do you know about football? Have you seen a huddle before? It's when the team crowds together to discuss their next plays. You have? Hmm, I've never heard of a huddle being called a 'man sandwich' before! But now that I think about it, the players would be the bread and the game plans are the filling. You can't have one without the other or else it's not really a sandwich at all! ...I would really like a sandwich right now. Or some cake. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here teaching you football, but cake would be nice... Aaah, I should have brought 40 cakes as well. That's terrible. If I don't treat the recruits well, they might not come back.
Anyway, we don't need to do a huddle right now. Oh no, they look so disappointed. We can try some line practice since that's the position that I play! The important part of being a linesman is strength, so everyone pair up and push against each other! Try to knock the other person over. No, not groping, that's not effective at all, unless the other person is ticklish. I'm going to demonstrate with Blargh-kun. Now... ready?
THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE!
Aaaah! I'm so sorry, Blargh-kun! I-I must've pulled instead of pushed so hard that I dislocated your shoulder. I-It even looks like your arm is coming off. Are you all right? Let's get you off to the hospital right away. Everyone else, please stay here! I'll take Blargh-kun to the hospital first and then I'll come back to show you some more line techniques. P-Please don't go! Accidents can happen and injuries are sometimes a part of football. And Blargh-kun will be all right in a month or two. Hopefully!
... Does this mean you won't join the Devil Bats?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Nishijou Takumi
Series: Chaos;Head
Character Age: 17
Canon: In modern-day Shibuya, there have been a series of strange homicides called the New Gen killings. Through a series of unfortunate events, a teenage hikikomori otaku freak named Nishijou Takumi finds himself wrapped up in the center of all this, while a mysterious person by the name of "Shogun" seems to be trying to set him up as the perpetrator of these attacks.
Takumi has an extremely wild imagination, enough to hold conversations with his self-proclaimed wife, a figure of his favorite anime star, "Seira-tan." His delusions range from eroge-like fantasies to brutal, gory visions of his loved ones being killed. He has delusions so often that it's hard to discern what's real and what isn't. Furthermore, he always feels like someone is watching him, but no matter how many times he turns around, no one is there. His social awkwardness can be described as unhealthy, at best. When forced to talk with others, he is very rarely able to do so without stuttering, and he often mumbles to the point where people miss what he's saying anyway. Even when conversing with himself or Seira-tan in his head (which he does quite often), he tends to stumble over his thoughts.
Sample Post:
And so it seems that somehow I ended up in this situation. Why does someone like me have to endure something like summer camp? I can't help but feel it's an entirely too late apology for that field trip I didn't get to go on in elementary school, but I got over that a long time ago. I just want to go home. Well, so long as they give me a base of my own, I don't really care what happens. But rather, what concerns me is how dank this place looks. Do they get an internet connection here? Moreover, do they have computers? Th-They have to have computers... No matter how decrepit a place looks, nowadays all places have computers, right? Right; I'm just overthinking things. Ah, you're right, Seira-tan. No matter what happens, I have you, don't I? All right! Thanks to Seira-tan's smile, I feel like I can survive even in a rotten place like this one! Let's see, according to the map, if I head this direction... --!?
Z-Zombies...!? Those are zombies...!! N-No, g-get a grip. No matter how horror-like this setting may be, something like zombies must obviously mean that you're imagining things. See, if you pinch your cheek-- ow-- the delusion will dispel, and... They're still there. Well, wait, pinching your cheek is to determine if it's a dream, although I'm not sure if delusions and dreams are much different, but--
Wh-What are they doing now!? S-... Stop it...! Zombies aren't supposed to be posing like some cover of an eroge! Ahh, and I definitely recognize that pose! It's from “Bible Blue”-- Any self-proclaimed otaku is only worthy of calling themselves as such if they can identify that. Is that to say that the zombies are otaku? No, that's impossible... Or rather, that's hardly the problem here! I think I'm going to be sick... Delusion or not, this is too much... Ahh! Of course! In times like this, I just need Seira-tan's strength! Even if the pose isn't too sexy, the 1/8 pre-awakening model is still enough to admire Seira-tan's beautiful features--
E-Ehhh!? When did they grab my Seira-tan figure!? How dare you lay a hand on my precious wife...!! How dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you...!!!! I-If you damage her, I'm not going to forgive you, you understand!? It's bad enough you're soiling her with your dirty hands, but-- but-- stop that! Don't remove her panties!! What lies beneath there is supposed to be mine and only mine...! S-Seira-taaaan...!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kouryuu
Series: Wish
Character Age: Unknown, looks 17, 18.
Canon: CLAMP'S WISH is the story of Kohaku, an angel who lives with a human doctor, waiting for the moment when he can grant his wish. Which is all good and dandy, except for the fact that said doctor doesn't have Any Wishes At All. Totally boring! No-one in their right mind would want to hear about a human and Heaven's stupidest, clumsiest and chubbiest angel of them all, right? Right.
Instead, have Kouryuu: A demon who goes to Earth in order to tease the hell out of Kohaku and make his life as miserable as possible. If while doing so he gets to find yummy souls to feast upon, or interesting humans to try a little draperape action on, even better! Kouryuu pretty much seems to treat Earth as his personal playground. A bit temperamental, extremely cocky, and very mischievous, Kouryuu hates rabu-rabu-filled environments just as much as he hates being bored. When he's not busy pulling at Kohaku's metaphorical pigtails, Kouryuu will most likely be plotting just how to make Kohaku miserable enough to have his undivided attention on him. Denial? What denial are you talking about?
Note: in Wish, unexperienced angels turn into chibis during the night, while demons do that during the day.
Sample app:
So this is the place that Hell has been been sponsoring for a few years now, eh? Well, since I'm already here I might as well have a look around! I've heard many good things of Camp Fuck You Die: Gourmet food with Tuesdays for a special of longpig and bloodshakes! The best possible location for longer nights and shorter days, and every single soul trapped in here is so filled with misery that I almost feel it crawling in my skin! Without a sense of confidence, the pressure is too much for them to take... Absolutely perfect. I was getting to the point of madness with how bored I was. And, as an extra bonus, I'm sure that if enough humans cry and beg for help, that idiot angel will undoubtedly be lured here to see if he can do anything at all, and then he'll be trapped here! I'll be able to torture him every day, whenever I feel like it! Bwahahahaha!
Oh, what should I do first? It has to be perfectly planned so that I'll be my amazing self while he's all chubby and silly looking! So much to do, so little time-- oh, what's this? Yes, yes, let's start with the soup! Add as many bits and pieces of flesh as you can, and make it look red as blood! Lose a limb or two while you're at it so that you're as pathetic looking as possible, and make your moaning pitiful and devastating. Since he won't be able to help you, he'll start whimpering about how useless he is, which is always good!
Hey, I know you're earless, but are you deaf as well? I said pitiful, not horny. I want your presence to linger here, but not like that, sheeze! Give me more 'uughhh's than 'iyaaaaan's. If I wanted you to do that, I'd be doing this, see? Touching you here, and getting close just like this, putting my arms around your neck, maybe pressing up against you... noticed the difference? Even with just one eye, you should be able to follow this. Oh, you liked that, didn't you? Well, I'm sure we can do something about it... after you've done what I ordered you to do, so keep your remaining limbs to yourselves and stop stalling with your PDA! This is about me and making Clumsy miserable, not about zombies doing the horizontal mambo. Now, go! That stupid angel will be here soon, and everything has to be ready for him.
And just for your information; Unless you're thinking about wearing a mummy costume to make that idiot cry, I don't see what the hell all this mumbling about 'the Nile' has to do with anything here.
Poll Vote!
Character: Rachel Berenson (but shh, no one is supposed to know that last name)
Series: Animorphs
Character Age: 16
Canon: Unbeknownst to the general population, there is a war going on. Mind-stealing alien slugs, called Yeerks, have secretly invaded Earth in massive numbers. The only defense the Earth has is a group of six teens (five human, one alien). Pretty bad, right? But the situation isn't an entire loss. Out of desperation, a dying alien prince gave these teenagers the power to morph: the ability to transform into any creature they touch.. AND THUS, A TEAM OF SUPERHEROES WERE BORN~! And because all superhero teams need a catchy name, they decided to call themselves "Animorphs," short for "animal morpher."
Rachel, nicknamed "Xena, Warrior Princess" by fellow Animorph Marco, is the tough girl of this group. Beautiful, blond, and blue eyed, she looks like she could be the subject of an article in a fashion magazine or a stereotypical blond joke. Treat her like the latter, though, and you may find yourself missing significant portions of your anatomy. Sharp-tongued and energetic, she loves the rush that comes from any kind of competition, whether it be a battle with overwhelming odds or a two-for-one sale at the mall. At her beginning of the battle, she's just your average, if somewhat gung-ho, teenage girl, with a love of fashion, gymnastics, and proving female superiority. As the war rages on, however, she goes from merely aggressive to outright violent, and at her very worst can be destructive and little sadistic.
Note: Only skintight clothes stay on during a morph- everything else either gets shredded or shrunk out of.
Sample Post:
...Not this again.
It's bad enough to suddenly appear in a strange place when you live a completely normal life. It's even worse when you've had past experience with random teleportation, and you know that it always, always means that something bad is going to happen. At least this time I'm still on Earth; the sky looks the same, and the plants do too. Mostly, anyway-- is that tree growing underwear? And why briefs? Nasty.
Other than Earth, though, I have no idea where I am. I may not be the strongest in animal knowledge out of my group, but I do know that we don't have toucans living anywhere near home... and any idiot would know that normal birds don't use telepathy. Not that talking birds are new to me, but toucans? So. I have two questions for you, birdbrain, and you'd better answer both fast: What are you, and where are we?
...Psychic toucan. No, really? I never would have guessed. As for the second... you have got to be kidding me. Summer camp? I'm at a summer camp?! And of course it's not a nice, normal summer camp, ohhhh no. It's a camp straight out of those Goosebumps books- complete with radioactive lake (which, of course, must have something strange living in it), zombies, and an evil director! Wonderful.
God, what is it with my bad summer camp related experiences? Last time I tried to go to a camp, I ended up with amnesia and nearly got eaten by a dust-bunny from Saturn. Not that this is much better; there has to be some way for us to learn to morph clothes that aren't skin-tight. Being stuck wearing only a leotard is bad enough in the forest, but a swamp? Just because my friends say I can walk through a hurricane and still look amazing doesn't mean that I actually can. I would kill for a shower... which means you are going to tell me how to get out of here, now. I'm not exactly in my happy place at the moment.
"Until the one who killed the Director's fiance is found, nobody leaves?" --Okay, I take it back. This place isn't just a Goosebumps book; it's the disturbed, abused child of a Goosebumps book and a low-budget episode of Scooby-Doo. "Solve the murder mystery to leave the spoooooky summer camp!" But if that's what I have to do, then...
All right, Camp Fuck You Die. Let's do it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Celes Chère
Series: Final Fantasy VI
Character Age: 19 (As of the World of Ruin)
Canon: [Warning!! Spoilers ahead! ROSEBUD IS A SLED]
The Ghestalian Empire is unmatched in their power due to the force of magic, which had long fallen into the realm of myth. Their blend of magic and technology, dubbed "Magitek", has allowed them to conquer nearly every nation in the world. Of course there is a small resistance movement to oppose them--the Returners. The Returners have set their hopes on a young amnesiac woman named Terra, who has the remarkable and almost unheard of ability to do magic. As it turns out, she is not alone. The Returners unexpectedly gain the assistance of imperial general Celes Chère, a woman who has gained the power of magic through scientific experimentation.
Celes spoke out against the war and was imprisoned and on the eve of her execution, she's rescued and joins the Returners. With a cold exterior, and a no-nonsense attitude, Celes often refuses help from others and is slow to connect to her fellow rebels. She sees herself as a warrior first and a woman second. However all is not ice with the former general. It turns out that she's a dead-ringer for mysterious opera diva Maria, and her singing ain't too shabby either. After gaining the friendship (and no small amount of infatuation for a certain treasure hunter) of the Returners, she begins to work beyond the facade of a cold-as-ice woman and come into her own.
After the world is literally torn apart by midboss-turned-final villain Kefka, Celes is beyond despair (and depending on the actions of the player, suicidal). Once she rediscovers hope, she sets about pulling the party together again with the goal of saving the world.
Sample Post:
"Opera diva Maria promises to give charity concert in the town of Seefund." At least, that's the rumor that has the Impresario in a tizzy. He can't have his precious star running around when Kefka can destroy any city at any time. And who comes knocking at his door but me, Maria's supposed lookalike. I can't believe that I agreed to this farce again. I used to be a general! Now I'm playing dress-up in the middle of a swamp?! I should be fighting to take this world back from Kefka, not floundering around in a dress like some prima donna twit!
But, if the people of this town of Seefund are expecting a concert from Maria, I suppose I can oblige. After all, that may give them some measure of hope in these trying times ... and these people clearly need that. With their sallow faces, sunken eyes, and pitiful moans it's like they're wasting away with no life left in them, much less hope. Yes, the only plants which grow may be ones which bite. Yes, the wildlife may now only consist of terrifying monsters--but I believe that this is still a world worth saving! And I can't allow these people to fall so far as to give up on life. That is a mistake I can't let anyone make again, especially myself.
Even if that means wearing this embarrassing outfit that was provided by "Wai-Wai Lolita-chan." Pull together, Celes. You won't be defeated by silken bows and hoop skirts. Let's practice this aria before the big show. I heard that there were a few changes to the script... Hm. At least I know the tune, but the lyrics have been changed at the request of someone called "the Director."
♫ O dear zombie, my departed
Shall we still be made to rot
Eating these brains and putrid remains
Yet there's not much left for thought
I am living, you're the undead
shuffling slowly from afar
unfortunately, it's not meant to be
I will slaughter you, har har haaaaaar! ♫
Does this "Director" think that this is some kind of joke?! If this is the kind of directorship that Seefund lives under, it's clear that what's needed right now isn't song, but steel. I think it's time I cut a deal with this Director...as soon as I can find a way out of this corset.
Poll Vote!
Character: Capella
Series: 07-GHOST
Character Age: Tiny tiny shouta. (6~8-ish?)
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a little prince who, through a series of misfortunes and ~destiny~, grew up to be a little military student named Teito Klein instead. (Though he'd fight you on the "little" part.) He was unaware of his noble heritage, and most of his past at that, until one day he discovered that the military he was about to join had been the cause of much of his misfortune, with a certain vicious man causing the most. Once he escaped from the man and the military as a wanted criminal, he briefly took shelter with the church, before deciding to start a journey to uncover the rest of the truth behind his past.
Capella is a young boy that Teito rescues from a life of slavery along his journey. Despite being enslaved at his young age, Capella's a fairly cheerful boy, if not always the most talkative one. He's eager to please and determined to one day be strong, just like his Teito-niichan! And while he might be more considerate and a much harder worker than most children his age, Capella shows his youth in other ways, such as being afraid of the dark or using the toilet at night by himself, and hating to take baths. He's also very curious about the world, and directs most of his questions to Teito, who he admires very much and has an unshakable faith in. Capella spends his time traveling with a wanted man, occasionally working hard as a tiny waiter at a bar and inn, trying to be like Teito, running away from baths, being hunted by slave traders, and let's not forget being absolutely adorable- just your average kid, really!
Sample Post:
I'll start at the beginning! Is that okay, mister counselor? 'Kay, so today was supposed to be my first day of kindergarten, but I didn't find out until I got here! At first, I was scared 'cause all the other kids sounded all sick and sad and I didn't know where I was! And even after the teacher told me what kindergarten was I was confused. I didn't think teachers were supposed to be big and purple, and everyone else was asking for big brains... Shouldn't they be happy that kindergarten is for learning? But the teacher just said that even though they moaned and groaned, they weren't as dead on their feet as the "call-edge" students. I didn't know what that meant, but I thought I should try hard to be happy about learning instead anyway! That way I'll be smart like Teito-niichan. And then I didn't let the confusing stuff bother me!
It was easy after that! And at coloring time the teacher even called my picture of the big squirmy fish in the water stuuuupendous. He hanged it up on the tree with all those clothes too! I even drawed it hugging someone with lots of little hearts, 'cause I was doing my best to make it look just like the real one. But someday I'll have to try even harder, because I'll be a big kid and hang clothes on the tree instead of pictures! Another boy said that the big kids wear those little clothes instead, but wouldn't they get cold? Maybe he didn't hear the teacher, since his ears were all gone...
But that would be sad 'cause he'd miss storytime! I liked The Tentacle Monster's New Clothes and Tsunderella, but The Little Robocow that Could was the best! It was about a robocow that had to get out of a closet because it was thirsty, and there was nothing to drink in the closet! It tried to push the doors open, and when it thought "I think I can, I think I can" it got them open! And once it got out of the closet it got to have some milk that kittens couldn't drink so it wasn't thirsty anymore. It was great that it got to get stronger just by thinking it could! And I want to get stronger too, so I'll try my hardest to think hard about it and drink lots of milk like the robocow.
I got to start drinking more milk right away too, 'cause then it was snacktime! That was another confusing part of the day... I got in trouble 'cause everyone thought I stole the cookies from the cookie jar! But once we figured out it was really the fuzzy blue guy that did it it was okay. After that we all started singing a song and it was fun! It was about how we all loved each other and were a big happy family. I liked that song! The teacher started passing out cups of red juice when we were done, but I was full from my apples and bananas. So don't worry, mister! I didn't drink the Kool-Aid!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurita Ryokan
Series: Eyeshield 21
Character Age: 17
Canon: Kobayakawa Sena grew up as a running boy doing favors for bullies to avoid getting beat up. Instead, now he runs around as the mysterious Eyeshield 21, trying not to get beat up by opponents on the football field. Good thing he's really fast. This is the story of the Deimon Devil Bats, the little football team that could.
Sena's first introduction to football is when he meets Kurita Ryokan, who becomes Sena's first friend after joining the school. Kurita is a kind upperclassman with a love and enthusiasm for football that cannot be beat. Kurita goes out of his way to be helpful to others and hopes that others return the favor (by JOINING THE DEVIL BATS PLEASE) but doesn't hold grudges if they don't, which is often (he's also incredibly gullible). On the field, the normally timid Kurita gets fired up and is a feared opponent with good reason. Kurita's personality might be cuddly like a teddybear, but he literally has the strength of a bear.
Sample Post:
Good morning everyone! My name is Kurita Ryokan. I play center position in the Deimon Devil Bats team! Thank you for coming to this recruitment session! I was expecting a little more people to show up. I was afraid that 500 cream puffs wouldn't be enough, so I doubled the amount. Not that I'm not grateful that you came. Not at all! This is great! We will just finish these all together! How many can you each eat? Is 60 each enough for you? Okay, we'll eat them later! That can be your motivation to finish.
First, what do you know about football? Have you seen a huddle before? It's when the team crowds together to discuss their next plays. You have? Hmm, I've never heard of a huddle being called a 'man sandwich' before! But now that I think about it, the players would be the bread and the game plans are the filling. You can't have one without the other or else it's not really a sandwich at all! ...I would really like a sandwich right now. Or some cake. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here teaching you football, but cake would be nice... Aaah, I should have brought 40 cakes as well. That's terrible. If I don't treat the recruits well, they might not come back.
Anyway, we don't need to do a huddle right now. Oh no, they look so disappointed. We can try some line practice since that's the position that I play! The important part of being a linesman is strength, so everyone pair up and push against each other! Try to knock the other person over. No, not groping, that's not effective at all, unless the other person is ticklish. I'm going to demonstrate with Blargh-kun. Now... ready?
THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE!
Aaaah! I'm so sorry, Blargh-kun! I-I must've pulled instead of pushed so hard that I dislocated your shoulder. I-It even looks like your arm is coming off. Are you all right? Let's get you off to the hospital right away. Everyone else, please stay here! I'll take Blargh-kun to the hospital first and then I'll come back to show you some more line techniques. P-Please don't go! Accidents can happen and injuries are sometimes a part of football. And Blargh-kun will be all right in a month or two. Hopefully!
... Does this mean you won't join the Devil Bats?
Poll Vote!