(no subject)
And again~~~ KEEP IT UP GUYS, YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!1!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Hungary (alias Elizabeta Héderváry)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Unknown, looks about 18-20.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia is a warped lesson in world history presented as a slice-of-life manga on crack. The cast are the nations of the world themselves, playing out their finest and fail-est moments... including some you won't find in any history book. Among these nations is Hungary, depicted as a cheerful young woman who loves cute things. Not as strong as many others, but sweet and hardworking nonetheless, she's always happy to return the aid and kindness of those who give it to her.
But make one small move in the wrong direction (mentioning the name "Prussia" usually works) and you'll see her as she was back before she gave a damn about being ladylike. Believe it or not, this meek and gentle soul was once a foul-mouthed raider to be feared. If you really get on her bad side, you'll be lucky if you don't find her under your bed, watching your every move and waiting for the right time to jump out with a threat. Don't worry, though. Just because she may stalk you a bit doesn't always mean she's planning to impale you. She might just be watching out for your safety like the caring person she really is.
I mean, why else would she do it? Certainly not because she's also a voyeuristic fangirl who's ready to snap pictures in case you get molested. Why, that's just ridiculous!
Sample Post:
Stop, stop! This is wrong! You can't penetrate Hungary from the water! And with tentacles? You naughty thing, who do you think I am -- Japan?! I happen to be a pure, delicate maiden and I have every intention of keeping myself that way, so BACK THE FUCK OFF or I'll rip off all eight one by one and tie 'em in a rope that I'll use to strangle you to death! You hear me?! Death, I say, DEATH!!!
... Oh no, I'm sorry everyone! I was only talking to the tentacle monster, I didn't mean to scare the rest of you. I'm not that type anymore, don't worry! I'm not here to attack you at all. I, Hungary, am here to defend you! Well, actually, I'm not sure how I got here in the first place, but now that I am... I can't do nothing, can I? Not after finding out that come winter you'll be facing invasion!
Yes, I know about that. I heard it from one of your own. That's another reason why really I need you all to trust me: because I'm going to need your help first. I want you to tell me everything you can about these invaders we're dealing with. That big building up ahead looks like a good place for a meeting, so if everyone would follow me right this way... Good, here we are! Oh and look, there's even a map of the area laid out all ready for us on this table! This is perfect! Let's see, the "You Are Here" arrow says this is the mess hall, and there's the lake we just came from, and here's Canada, and here's -- wait a minute. C-Canada?
Who made this map? They've definitely messed things up! Canada's supposed to be on top of America, not in America. This is the real world, not one of those d-dreams I sometimes have, where Canada's on top of America and in America at the same time, and America's panting "Oh Canada, you're so big~" Ooooh, why do dreams like that have to end? Even thinking about it now, I don't want to stop -- a-aahh... No, Hungary, get a grip! This is no way to behave when there are people all around, watching you! People to your left, people to your right, I bet there are even people up above --
Oops, my mistake; that's only a cat. What are you doing up there, kitty? I know, you're already hiding from the invaders, aren't you? I hate to tell you this, but one thing I've already found out about these invaders is that they'll be using missiles. And the ceiling can't protect you from a missile attack. You'd be much better off in a basement instead... Oh, you're not hiding. And you want to know why a plain old cat would need to hide from the missile... ah, excuse me. Did you say mistletoe?
... You are FREAKIN' KIDDING ME. Your "feared invasion" is a plant overgrowth?! This proves it! You Americans put on such a big show, always having to come to everyone's rescue, but when the tables are turned you're a bunch of total wusses! Come back to me when you've got a real threat, Louisiana, and then maybe we'll talk! Oh, your mistletoe's "different," is it? All right, tell me. What's one good reason why I should stick around and find out?
Aa -- hm... I see... What? It forces people to... oh my! W-well! In that case, I must stay here and keep an eye on this shameless perversion -- ah, I mean so that I can put a stop to it, of course!
Say, kitty... I heard Louisiana can get awfully chilly in the winter. Does your cozy little ceiling nook have room for another? ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Kimiko Ross
Series: Dresden Codak
Character Age: 21
Canon:
In a world like our own but more science, philosophy, technology, and mythology, you never know what strange thing you'll see next. Turn the corner past the Einstein-Rosen bridge, and you might find an abstraction salesman, tiny Carl Jung, a game of Dungeons and Discourse, Mictlantecuhtli (Aztec lord of the dead), an idea-stealing bear, or even secular heaven (there are dragons!). Or, of course, the catalysts for the main story arc - time travelers in spectacularly badly chosen cosplay searching for a golem-like robot named Hob.
Kimiko Ross, the main character of the comic, is a roboticist and an avid transhumanist - that is, she believes that technology will help take humanity to the next phase of evolution, something immortal and beyond our comprehension. Sometimes this just manifests as fantasies of riding on an airship; others, it strays into mad scientist territory, as she steals people's memories without their knowledge for use in her AI. She has been obsessed with science since she was young, which has lead to geekishness and poor social skills. But building a quantum detangler is so much easier than talking to boys - who needs relationships with primates, anyway!? ...Well, Kimiko does, actually. She's friendly and excitable as long as she's talking about science, and likes to explain her ideas in depth to anyone who will listen. (Or anyone who she can pretend is listening.) And while she is willing on principle to sacrifice the entire human race for progress, at the end of the day (at least in this timeline) she has friends who are important to her - and it would be nice to have a kindred spirit to ride off on that airship with, too.
Sample Post:
Hmm, is this it? I should have learned from Copenhagen Interpretation Fantasy Camp to not form an opinion on anything before I've observed it myself, but from the brochure I was expecting this place to be different, somehow. Telepathic toucans don't seem as annoying as the Egyptian god of decay, though - he definitely ruined that camp. Hopefully you guys aren't living in the past as much as he was, at least?
Oh, really? "Aware of all my internet traditions"? Well... the internet hasn't existed for very long, at least compared to normal traditions, but that's why it's great! You see, there's this thing called Moore's law - it's is an observation that computing power is increasing exponentially. Processing speed, memory - everything we can do with computers is improved by a factor of two every two years! If you consider what computers can do now and look back a decade or so, it's pretty amazing, right? And it will only get more and more amazing in the future, as everything keeps getting better!
Er, yes... I guess you could summarize it by saying that everything grows on you. But mold isn't really the best analogy for it. Even the most pernicious varieties of mold in optimal conditions don't grow quickly enough to match the progress of human technology. But - oh. I see. Zombies. With things, including mold, growing on them. Right, thanks for the warning; I'll just move over -
A "barrier"? Well, some people will argue that there's a boundary to how far Moore's Law can go, because are hard limitations on how many transistors you can physically fit on a chip, but it's a little bit ridiculous to say that by the time we reach that limit we won't have figured out anything better to compute with. People are working on new technologies all the time! People will definitely invent something good enough to continue the exponential growth, especially with the help of modern computers. To be completely accurate, it's not an infallible law, exactly, that's true. But it's better than that, because it's an observable trend - one that implies computing technology will exceed anything we can imagine. And quickly - soon! Yes, people will escape from the boundaries of normal human flesh, just like I'll escape these zombies!
...Except that there seems to be some sort of energy barrier blocking me from going this way. Clearly you think you're clever. Stupid birds - you're still three steps behind on the evolutionary ladder, you know!
Poll Vote!
Character: Brera Sterne
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 18
Canon: Macross Frontier is about a colonial fleet headed for the center of the galaxy, which is a task made complicated by biomechanical aliens known as the Vajra. Enter the Strategic Military Services, a private army for hire that has the skills-- and the unlimited firepower-- to blast those baddies into submission. When Alto Saotome joins their ranks, he gets the chance to live his dream of becoming a pilot, and maybe even a hero.
Brera Sterne is a pilot from Frontier's sister fleet, who enters the series as Alto's rival on the battlefield. He is also a cyborg, who has very few memories of his former human life. In his earlier appearances, he seems to carry out missions single-mindedly and stoically; puzzled and sometimes even irritated by the human emotions he doesn't understand. Something about the up-and-coming pop idol, Ranka Lee, changes this: He has an inexplicable desire to protect her. When he's appointed as her bodyguard, his softer side comes out. He (awkwardly) attempts to be caring, professes to be moved by her music, and would do whatever she asks-- even if it means disobeying orders from his superior. [Spoiler!] Near the end of the series, it is revealed that he is Ranka's older brother.
Sample Post:
Calling all on-duty members of the Military Operations' Local Extermination and Security Team: This is Brera Sterne, requesting access to a no-fly zone, to eliminate a necrotic insurgence taking refuge deep within a restricted area.
At 0100 hours, a large group launched a full-frontal attack upon myself. The subjects were inexplicably mobile, despite obvious signs of decay, and in some cases, the absence of portions of the brain essential to motor skills. Due to their diminished mental facilities, communication was useless. Attempts to interpret their groaning resulted in a clearly threatening message, informing me that I had little chance of survival, and a confusing order to "make my time." I proceeded with a counterattack, and the remaining insurgents withdrew to the aforementioned location. With temporary clearance, I will locate and eliminate them, but to prevent future attacks, the possibility of multiple reentry should be explored in depth.
As instructed, I have been waiting for team operatives to arrive to grant me the necessary permission in person.
I was not expecting the team operatives to be apes, but your efficient response gives me no cause for concern. If I have access, I will leave right now. I will not require your assistance. You will only get in my way, even if you are experts in gorilla warfare. Let go of me. Even physical detainment will not stop me from completing my mission alone. I have a duty to perform, and I am capable of carrying it out and dispatching the targets by myself.
I will not say this again: Refrain from touching my clothing immediately. Even if there is a mandatory undress code to ensure better access, now is not the time for security protocol. I have waited enough, and do not intend to do so anymore. Every minute I waste here gives the enemy more opportunities to conceal themselves. I'll willingly submit to a strip search when my job is done. Not before. So stop trying to offer me money, and turn the music off. I will not accept a bribe, and I have no intention of following your orders to dance. If you will not take this situation seriously, I will proceed without your clearance.
It appears we have a misunderstanding. I am not here for your amusement, and further attempts to enter my restricted areas without permission will result in retaliatory force.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fran Madaraki
Series: Franken Fran
Character Age: Middle to late teens
Canon: In a world where life and love are thrown away much too casually, who can stand against such travesties? In a world where your younger sibling can kill a busload full of people, who can simultaneously teach her a lesson and restore their lives in a pile of flailing limbs? In a world where disfunctional lovers commit suicide pacts, who can bring them back to life? Who can fit all of their internal organs inside of their skulls and create a fully-functional, abeit pet-like, new lifeform? The answer is Fran Madaraki, savior of life itself!
The first things you may notice about Fran Madaraki are the stitches and electrodes coming out of her head. But Fran's semblance to Frankenstein's monster goes far beyond appearance. You see, Fran is an experiment of her Professor Madaraki, and aside from being, well, his monster, she can also genetically engineer, clone, bring the dead back to life, and perform various surgeries like the best of 'em! Although reluctant at times, Fran is very helpful (and sometimes outright pushy) with her talents. Especially if there is love or money involved. Her disposition is mainly fairly cheerful, so other than her outer appearance, she seems pretty normal and well balanced. That is, until you become one of her patients. She'll stick you with a needle before even asking consent, and continues on even if you're screaming for help. For Fran, the means and the ends are generally useless; as long as she does her best and learns something useful, she's proud of herself.
Sample Post:
Ohh, ehh~ could you stop doing that please? I really need my head to stay stationary to be able find my way around. While I'm sure an impromptu game of monkey in the middle is entertaining, using my head to play it is quite rude. Ah, if you need some incentive, I'll make it worth your while. I'm sure your love life would benefit greatly! Let's see, let's see~ You're pretty small for a male of your species, hm? If I stimulate your growth with these hormones, you'll get much taller. Then you'll surely be a prime mate for any female you have your eye on! Ohh, how touching! My expertise in matters of love and biology are transcending species!
Kyahh! Please stop dropping my head; any more damage and I'll have to do an immediate tune-up. As a consequence of that, your own tune-up will have to be postponed, and... I should say that your ape-titude in finding a mate will start to dwindle even further. Ohohoho, but don't worry, I would never do anything to sabotage you~ As long as you keep the damages minimal and pay me back for any expenses you may cause, I'll definitely help you out to my full ability!
Thank you very much for giving me my head back, sir. Let me just get my tools ready for surgery. Oh, no need to look so alarmed. Death is not an option for me, and it's just routine, just routine~ If you behave, I might even throw in a few extras to kick-start your romance! Let's see, I'm already going to be increasing your muscle mass everywhere, especially in the pectoral area. And then-- oh my, what small teeth you have! Now I'm definitely going to implant new ones! Only, I don't have any spare gorilla jaws on hand... But if I use this shark jaw, the other males will have no way to compete with your sparkling smile. I'll have to keep some bits of your old jaw, though, so you can eat. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing! Now, if the other Mr. Gorilla would help subdue the patient... Very good. I would have suggested anesthesia, but a knock in the head seems to be working fine for now~
ALRIGHT, TIME TO START THE OPERATION! MR. GORILLA, STERILIZE THE PREMISES!! MAKING THE FIRST INCISION! ...
Eh? Yes, I know I haven't sewn my head back on yet. Don't worry, I can work without it~
Poll Vote!
Character: Kirisawa Fuuko
Series: Flame of Recca
Character Age: 16
Canon: There comes a point in any shounen fighting series where the mangaka has to decide how and if he wants to deal with The Girl. No, not that girl. Not the girl who everyone's fighting for, who sits on the sidelines rooting everyone on, or who gets kidnapped and manhandled or killed for the sake of great (and possibly refrigerated) motivation for the protagonist. No, Fuuko is The Other Girl. The bad girl. The cocky one, who fights too. The one who takes her knocks, and gives them back, and instead of standing outside of the ring, gets in there, and maybe wins a couple of devoted niche fangirls of her own. And maybe has her clothes destroyed in the process.
So Flame of Recca might not be a shining star in the big gender egalitarian sky, but when it comes down to it, Fuuko does pretty well, kicks some ass and takes some names. She swears it up, starts fights, spares no one the brunt of her temper, and she stands beside the boys, ideals and weapons in hand, when the battle comes. Even if that means fighting her own "prince" or damaging her lovely skin; even if that means being called a tomboy because she sees the male protagonist as her rival; even if that means getting up again and again when she's hurt and exhausted; and even if that means using a mad powerful weapon and getting her mind controlled in that early stint as the monster of the day...
Sample Post:
Hey, hey, you... oh, hell. There sure are a lot of you shambling around like that. There must be something really shitty going on here. I've seen people like you before, and no one can enjoy that! At least you're making the best of a bad situation - you've trained your fingers to do tricks when they fall off? Creative. I like that. Fill your undead hours with something other than just lurching and moaning. So, like, they can grab things and wiggle around? Pretty good for just fingers, I guess. That might come in handy sometime, too. I'm not exactly sure when... but... I don't know. You could probably pick pockets with them or something like that. You'll figure it out.
So don't try to hold me to any promises or anything, but just between you guys and me, if I can, I won't leave you like this. I'm not going to go out of my way or anything, but if the chance comes up, it's not the kind of thing a heroic Hokage ninja can just pass by. That's some friends of mine and me, but I'm all that's here. And I'm all you need.
I'm not going to run away - trust me, you aren't the scariest thing I've ever seen.
No, no need to gather around thank me, I haven't even done anything yet. Well, maybe you can thank me a little, if you want. It's just what you do, if you can. Pretty bad girl Fuuko-chan is here now to kick some ass, and... and...
And...
...
AAAAAAANGYAAAH!!
pervertpervertperverthandpervert! brapervert - in my! ohIamgonnafuckingkillyou! youfuckingpervertpervertfucker! Get your rotting hands off of me you-you-you-you PERVERT! I'm going to rip your arm off and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to pick your bleeding nose with it, filthypervert. Pervert. Oh, how dare you. Deadfuckingpervert! You're going to regret that sohard, you damnpervert. If you think I'm going to letyou get away with that you fuckingpervert, you've got the wrong girl. Rotting pervert bastard.
Yeah, uh huh, you better run. And take your skeevy fingers with you!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsuchimiya Kagura
Series: Ga-Rei
Character Age: 16
Canon: Ga-Rei is the story of a boy. A boy named Nimura Kensuke, who carries a terrible curse: he can see ghosts, and this prevents him from ever having a girlfriend. Seems he's doomed to a life of solitude, until the day a girl named Kagura runs him over with her bike, and changes his life forever. Kagura works for the Ministry of the Environment's secret "Supernatural Disaster Countermeasures Department" hunting down rogue ghosts as her part-time job after school. Her soul is bound to a soul-eating monster called Byakuei -- though she calls it by the nickname "Shiro" and refers to it as her pet and her family. Kagura is cheerful and always smiling, feisty, ambitious, and wants to experience "normal" life.
She's pretty good at convincing Kensuke to do things he doesn't want to do (like joining the Countermeasures Department) with a bit of help from accidental panty shots. Kensuke just can't say no to the panties.
Sample post:
Ah, I'm sorry to keep you waiting! You didn't wait, right? Right?
I'm Tsuchimiya Kagura, the representative from the Ministry of the Environment! We got a call from a... a Mr. Ian Soeble? Sable? Sorry, I'm not sure of the name, the phone connection was really bad... though to be honest it sounded a lot like Iyaaaaan Sobold~ but what kind of name is that? Maybe it's a celebrity name? Anyway, Director-san, your representative contacted us and told us you have a minor environmental problem here. Looks more like a major infestation to me -- yeek, gross! It's touching me! It's touching me! D-director-san, zombies aren't really my forte... Shiro likes to munch on souls, and zombies, well, they don't have them. They're pretty creepy, just moaning braaaaaaaiiiinsss and wandering aimlessly in the forest. Hey! Maybe what you have here is more of a homelessness problem! That would make it the jurisdiction of the Ministry of Social Services instead. Wouldn't that be lucky for me?
Anyway, I'll see what I can do! First, I'll need some Pocky. This is very important, I just can't get into a fighting mood if I don't eat and no thank you, zombie-san, I don't want to put that in my mouth instead. Second, some kind of weapon. Obviously, Shiro is no good here, and the man in the purple gorilla suit suggested I should use my Ultimate Fanservice Technique: PANTY SHOT (he said the "capslock" was essential, whatever that means) and of course I said what the hell and knocked him through a few trees. The colorful parrot/hawk/toucan (which is it? Maybe I should study a little harder in biology...) suggested I try by the lake, so here I am, but I don't see why--
Ah... a tentacle? Wait, two? Three? S-seven... somehow I feel like that cockatoo wasn't giving friendly advice... eh? Her name's Marcy? She's so... so... so...
COOL. Is she yours, Director-san? Is she? Does she eat souls too, like Shiro? Oh, I know! I need to practice more with Byakuei, so let's make a playdate, Director-san! (Normal girls do that, right? Right?) How's next Wednesday for you? Gorilla-san said this is the best day for Marcy, because hump day is her favorite day of the week!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Hungary (alias Elizabeta Héderváry)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Unknown, looks about 18-20.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia is a warped lesson in world history presented as a slice-of-life manga on crack. The cast are the nations of the world themselves, playing out their finest and fail-est moments... including some you won't find in any history book. Among these nations is Hungary, depicted as a cheerful young woman who loves cute things. Not as strong as many others, but sweet and hardworking nonetheless, she's always happy to return the aid and kindness of those who give it to her.
But make one small move in the wrong direction (mentioning the name "Prussia" usually works) and you'll see her as she was back before she gave a damn about being ladylike. Believe it or not, this meek and gentle soul was once a foul-mouthed raider to be feared. If you really get on her bad side, you'll be lucky if you don't find her under your bed, watching your every move and waiting for the right time to jump out with a threat. Don't worry, though. Just because she may stalk you a bit doesn't always mean she's planning to impale you. She might just be watching out for your safety like the caring person she really is.
I mean, why else would she do it? Certainly not because she's also a voyeuristic fangirl who's ready to snap pictures in case you get molested. Why, that's just ridiculous!
Sample Post:
Stop, stop! This is wrong! You can't penetrate Hungary from the water! And with tentacles? You naughty thing, who do you think I am -- Japan?! I happen to be a pure, delicate maiden and I have every intention of keeping myself that way, so BACK THE FUCK OFF or I'll rip off all eight one by one and tie 'em in a rope that I'll use to strangle you to death! You hear me?! Death, I say, DEATH!!!
... Oh no, I'm sorry everyone! I was only talking to the tentacle monster, I didn't mean to scare the rest of you. I'm not that type anymore, don't worry! I'm not here to attack you at all. I, Hungary, am here to defend you! Well, actually, I'm not sure how I got here in the first place, but now that I am... I can't do nothing, can I? Not after finding out that come winter you'll be facing invasion!
Yes, I know about that. I heard it from one of your own. That's another reason why really I need you all to trust me: because I'm going to need your help first. I want you to tell me everything you can about these invaders we're dealing with. That big building up ahead looks like a good place for a meeting, so if everyone would follow me right this way... Good, here we are! Oh and look, there's even a map of the area laid out all ready for us on this table! This is perfect! Let's see, the "You Are Here" arrow says this is the mess hall, and there's the lake we just came from, and here's Canada, and here's -- wait a minute. C-Canada?
Who made this map? They've definitely messed things up! Canada's supposed to be on top of America, not in America. This is the real world, not one of those d-dreams I sometimes have, where Canada's on top of America and in America at the same time, and America's panting "Oh Canada, you're so big~" Ooooh, why do dreams like that have to end? Even thinking about it now, I don't want to stop -- a-aahh... No, Hungary, get a grip! This is no way to behave when there are people all around, watching you! People to your left, people to your right, I bet there are even people up above --
Oops, my mistake; that's only a cat. What are you doing up there, kitty? I know, you're already hiding from the invaders, aren't you? I hate to tell you this, but one thing I've already found out about these invaders is that they'll be using missiles. And the ceiling can't protect you from a missile attack. You'd be much better off in a basement instead... Oh, you're not hiding. And you want to know why a plain old cat would need to hide from the missile... ah, excuse me. Did you say mistletoe?
... You are FREAKIN' KIDDING ME. Your "feared invasion" is a plant overgrowth?! This proves it! You Americans put on such a big show, always having to come to everyone's rescue, but when the tables are turned you're a bunch of total wusses! Come back to me when you've got a real threat, Louisiana, and then maybe we'll talk! Oh, your mistletoe's "different," is it? All right, tell me. What's one good reason why I should stick around and find out?
Aa -- hm... I see... What? It forces people to... oh my! W-well! In that case, I must stay here and keep an eye on this shameless perversion -- ah, I mean so that I can put a stop to it, of course!
Say, kitty... I heard Louisiana can get awfully chilly in the winter. Does your cozy little ceiling nook have room for another? ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Kimiko Ross
Series: Dresden Codak
Character Age: 21
Canon:
In a world like our own but more science, philosophy, technology, and mythology, you never know what strange thing you'll see next. Turn the corner past the Einstein-Rosen bridge, and you might find an abstraction salesman, tiny Carl Jung, a game of Dungeons and Discourse, Mictlantecuhtli (Aztec lord of the dead), an idea-stealing bear, or even secular heaven (there are dragons!). Or, of course, the catalysts for the main story arc - time travelers in spectacularly badly chosen cosplay searching for a golem-like robot named Hob.
Kimiko Ross, the main character of the comic, is a roboticist and an avid transhumanist - that is, she believes that technology will help take humanity to the next phase of evolution, something immortal and beyond our comprehension. Sometimes this just manifests as fantasies of riding on an airship; others, it strays into mad scientist territory, as she steals people's memories without their knowledge for use in her AI. She has been obsessed with science since she was young, which has lead to geekishness and poor social skills. But building a quantum detangler is so much easier than talking to boys - who needs relationships with primates, anyway!? ...Well, Kimiko does, actually. She's friendly and excitable as long as she's talking about science, and likes to explain her ideas in depth to anyone who will listen. (Or anyone who she can pretend is listening.) And while she is willing on principle to sacrifice the entire human race for progress, at the end of the day (at least in this timeline) she has friends who are important to her - and it would be nice to have a kindred spirit to ride off on that airship with, too.
Sample Post:
Hmm, is this it? I should have learned from Copenhagen Interpretation Fantasy Camp to not form an opinion on anything before I've observed it myself, but from the brochure I was expecting this place to be different, somehow. Telepathic toucans don't seem as annoying as the Egyptian god of decay, though - he definitely ruined that camp. Hopefully you guys aren't living in the past as much as he was, at least?
Oh, really? "Aware of all my internet traditions"? Well... the internet hasn't existed for very long, at least compared to normal traditions, but that's why it's great! You see, there's this thing called Moore's law - it's is an observation that computing power is increasing exponentially. Processing speed, memory - everything we can do with computers is improved by a factor of two every two years! If you consider what computers can do now and look back a decade or so, it's pretty amazing, right? And it will only get more and more amazing in the future, as everything keeps getting better!
Er, yes... I guess you could summarize it by saying that everything grows on you. But mold isn't really the best analogy for it. Even the most pernicious varieties of mold in optimal conditions don't grow quickly enough to match the progress of human technology. But - oh. I see. Zombies. With things, including mold, growing on them. Right, thanks for the warning; I'll just move over -
A "barrier"? Well, some people will argue that there's a boundary to how far Moore's Law can go, because are hard limitations on how many transistors you can physically fit on a chip, but it's a little bit ridiculous to say that by the time we reach that limit we won't have figured out anything better to compute with. People are working on new technologies all the time! People will definitely invent something good enough to continue the exponential growth, especially with the help of modern computers. To be completely accurate, it's not an infallible law, exactly, that's true. But it's better than that, because it's an observable trend - one that implies computing technology will exceed anything we can imagine. And quickly - soon! Yes, people will escape from the boundaries of normal human flesh, just like I'll escape these zombies!
...Except that there seems to be some sort of energy barrier blocking me from going this way. Clearly you think you're clever. Stupid birds - you're still three steps behind on the evolutionary ladder, you know!
Poll Vote!
Character: Brera Sterne
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 18
Canon: Macross Frontier is about a colonial fleet headed for the center of the galaxy, which is a task made complicated by biomechanical aliens known as the Vajra. Enter the Strategic Military Services, a private army for hire that has the skills-- and the unlimited firepower-- to blast those baddies into submission. When Alto Saotome joins their ranks, he gets the chance to live his dream of becoming a pilot, and maybe even a hero.
Brera Sterne is a pilot from Frontier's sister fleet, who enters the series as Alto's rival on the battlefield. He is also a cyborg, who has very few memories of his former human life. In his earlier appearances, he seems to carry out missions single-mindedly and stoically; puzzled and sometimes even irritated by the human emotions he doesn't understand. Something about the up-and-coming pop idol, Ranka Lee, changes this: He has an inexplicable desire to protect her. When he's appointed as her bodyguard, his softer side comes out. He (awkwardly) attempts to be caring, professes to be moved by her music, and would do whatever she asks-- even if it means disobeying orders from his superior. [Spoiler!] Near the end of the series, it is revealed that he is Ranka's older brother.
Sample Post:
Calling all on-duty members of the Military Operations' Local Extermination and Security Team: This is Brera Sterne, requesting access to a no-fly zone, to eliminate a necrotic insurgence taking refuge deep within a restricted area.
At 0100 hours, a large group launched a full-frontal attack upon myself. The subjects were inexplicably mobile, despite obvious signs of decay, and in some cases, the absence of portions of the brain essential to motor skills. Due to their diminished mental facilities, communication was useless. Attempts to interpret their groaning resulted in a clearly threatening message, informing me that I had little chance of survival, and a confusing order to "make my time." I proceeded with a counterattack, and the remaining insurgents withdrew to the aforementioned location. With temporary clearance, I will locate and eliminate them, but to prevent future attacks, the possibility of multiple reentry should be explored in depth.
As instructed, I have been waiting for team operatives to arrive to grant me the necessary permission in person.
I was not expecting the team operatives to be apes, but your efficient response gives me no cause for concern. If I have access, I will leave right now. I will not require your assistance. You will only get in my way, even if you are experts in gorilla warfare. Let go of me. Even physical detainment will not stop me from completing my mission alone. I have a duty to perform, and I am capable of carrying it out and dispatching the targets by myself.
I will not say this again: Refrain from touching my clothing immediately. Even if there is a mandatory undress code to ensure better access, now is not the time for security protocol. I have waited enough, and do not intend to do so anymore. Every minute I waste here gives the enemy more opportunities to conceal themselves. I'll willingly submit to a strip search when my job is done. Not before. So stop trying to offer me money, and turn the music off. I will not accept a bribe, and I have no intention of following your orders to dance. If you will not take this situation seriously, I will proceed without your clearance.
It appears we have a misunderstanding. I am not here for your amusement, and further attempts to enter my restricted areas without permission will result in retaliatory force.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fran Madaraki
Series: Franken Fran
Character Age: Middle to late teens
Canon: In a world where life and love are thrown away much too casually, who can stand against such travesties? In a world where your younger sibling can kill a busload full of people, who can simultaneously teach her a lesson and restore their lives in a pile of flailing limbs? In a world where disfunctional lovers commit suicide pacts, who can bring them back to life? Who can fit all of their internal organs inside of their skulls and create a fully-functional, abeit pet-like, new lifeform? The answer is Fran Madaraki, savior of life itself!
The first things you may notice about Fran Madaraki are the stitches and electrodes coming out of her head. But Fran's semblance to Frankenstein's monster goes far beyond appearance. You see, Fran is an experiment of her Professor Madaraki, and aside from being, well, his monster, she can also genetically engineer, clone, bring the dead back to life, and perform various surgeries like the best of 'em! Although reluctant at times, Fran is very helpful (and sometimes outright pushy) with her talents. Especially if there is love or money involved. Her disposition is mainly fairly cheerful, so other than her outer appearance, she seems pretty normal and well balanced. That is, until you become one of her patients. She'll stick you with a needle before even asking consent, and continues on even if you're screaming for help. For Fran, the means and the ends are generally useless; as long as she does her best and learns something useful, she's proud of herself.
Sample Post:
Ohh, ehh~ could you stop doing that please? I really need my head to stay stationary to be able find my way around. While I'm sure an impromptu game of monkey in the middle is entertaining, using my head to play it is quite rude. Ah, if you need some incentive, I'll make it worth your while. I'm sure your love life would benefit greatly! Let's see, let's see~ You're pretty small for a male of your species, hm? If I stimulate your growth with these hormones, you'll get much taller. Then you'll surely be a prime mate for any female you have your eye on! Ohh, how touching! My expertise in matters of love and biology are transcending species!
Kyahh! Please stop dropping my head; any more damage and I'll have to do an immediate tune-up. As a consequence of that, your own tune-up will have to be postponed, and... I should say that your ape-titude in finding a mate will start to dwindle even further. Ohohoho, but don't worry, I would never do anything to sabotage you~ As long as you keep the damages minimal and pay me back for any expenses you may cause, I'll definitely help you out to my full ability!
Thank you very much for giving me my head back, sir. Let me just get my tools ready for surgery. Oh, no need to look so alarmed. Death is not an option for me, and it's just routine, just routine~ If you behave, I might even throw in a few extras to kick-start your romance! Let's see, I'm already going to be increasing your muscle mass everywhere, especially in the pectoral area. And then-- oh my, what small teeth you have! Now I'm definitely going to implant new ones! Only, I don't have any spare gorilla jaws on hand... But if I use this shark jaw, the other males will have no way to compete with your sparkling smile. I'll have to keep some bits of your old jaw, though, so you can eat. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing! Now, if the other Mr. Gorilla would help subdue the patient... Very good. I would have suggested anesthesia, but a knock in the head seems to be working fine for now~
ALRIGHT, TIME TO START THE OPERATION! MR. GORILLA, STERILIZE THE PREMISES!! MAKING THE FIRST INCISION! ...
Eh? Yes, I know I haven't sewn my head back on yet. Don't worry, I can work without it~
Poll Vote!
Character: Kirisawa Fuuko
Series: Flame of Recca
Character Age: 16
Canon: There comes a point in any shounen fighting series where the mangaka has to decide how and if he wants to deal with The Girl. No, not that girl. Not the girl who everyone's fighting for, who sits on the sidelines rooting everyone on, or who gets kidnapped and manhandled or killed for the sake of great (and possibly refrigerated) motivation for the protagonist. No, Fuuko is The Other Girl. The bad girl. The cocky one, who fights too. The one who takes her knocks, and gives them back, and instead of standing outside of the ring, gets in there, and maybe wins a couple of devoted niche fangirls of her own. And maybe has her clothes destroyed in the process.
So Flame of Recca might not be a shining star in the big gender egalitarian sky, but when it comes down to it, Fuuko does pretty well, kicks some ass and takes some names. She swears it up, starts fights, spares no one the brunt of her temper, and she stands beside the boys, ideals and weapons in hand, when the battle comes. Even if that means fighting her own "prince" or damaging her lovely skin; even if that means being called a tomboy because she sees the male protagonist as her rival; even if that means getting up again and again when she's hurt and exhausted; and even if that means using a mad powerful weapon and getting her mind controlled in that early stint as the monster of the day...
Sample Post:
Hey, hey, you... oh, hell. There sure are a lot of you shambling around like that. There must be something really shitty going on here. I've seen people like you before, and no one can enjoy that! At least you're making the best of a bad situation - you've trained your fingers to do tricks when they fall off? Creative. I like that. Fill your undead hours with something other than just lurching and moaning. So, like, they can grab things and wiggle around? Pretty good for just fingers, I guess. That might come in handy sometime, too. I'm not exactly sure when... but... I don't know. You could probably pick pockets with them or something like that. You'll figure it out.
So don't try to hold me to any promises or anything, but just between you guys and me, if I can, I won't leave you like this. I'm not going to go out of my way or anything, but if the chance comes up, it's not the kind of thing a heroic Hokage ninja can just pass by. That's some friends of mine and me, but I'm all that's here. And I'm all you need.
I'm not going to run away - trust me, you aren't the scariest thing I've ever seen.
No, no need to gather around thank me, I haven't even done anything yet. Well, maybe you can thank me a little, if you want. It's just what you do, if you can. Pretty bad girl Fuuko-chan is here now to kick some ass, and... and...
And...
...
AAAAAAANGYAAAH!!
pervertpervertperverthandpervert! brapervert - in my! ohIamgonnafuckingkillyou! youfuckingpervertpervertfucker! Get your rotting hands off of me you-you-you-you PERVERT! I'm going to rip your arm off and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to pick your bleeding nose with it, filthypervert. Pervert. Oh, how dare you. Deadfuckingpervert! You're going to regret that sohard, you damnpervert. If you think I'm going to letyou get away with that you fuckingpervert, you've got the wrong girl. Rotting pervert bastard.
Yeah, uh huh, you better run. And take your skeevy fingers with you!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsuchimiya Kagura
Series: Ga-Rei
Character Age: 16
Canon: Ga-Rei is the story of a boy. A boy named Nimura Kensuke, who carries a terrible curse: he can see ghosts, and this prevents him from ever having a girlfriend. Seems he's doomed to a life of solitude, until the day a girl named Kagura runs him over with her bike, and changes his life forever. Kagura works for the Ministry of the Environment's secret "Supernatural Disaster Countermeasures Department" hunting down rogue ghosts as her part-time job after school. Her soul is bound to a soul-eating monster called Byakuei -- though she calls it by the nickname "Shiro" and refers to it as her pet and her family. Kagura is cheerful and always smiling, feisty, ambitious, and wants to experience "normal" life.
She's pretty good at convincing Kensuke to do things he doesn't want to do (like joining the Countermeasures Department) with a bit of help from accidental panty shots. Kensuke just can't say no to the panties.
Sample post:
Ah, I'm sorry to keep you waiting! You didn't wait, right? Right?
I'm Tsuchimiya Kagura, the representative from the Ministry of the Environment! We got a call from a... a Mr. Ian Soeble? Sable? Sorry, I'm not sure of the name, the phone connection was really bad... though to be honest it sounded a lot like Iyaaaaan Sobold~ but what kind of name is that? Maybe it's a celebrity name? Anyway, Director-san, your representative contacted us and told us you have a minor environmental problem here. Looks more like a major infestation to me -- yeek, gross! It's touching me! It's touching me! D-director-san, zombies aren't really my forte... Shiro likes to munch on souls, and zombies, well, they don't have them. They're pretty creepy, just moaning braaaaaaaiiiinsss and wandering aimlessly in the forest. Hey! Maybe what you have here is more of a homelessness problem! That would make it the jurisdiction of the Ministry of Social Services instead. Wouldn't that be lucky for me?
Anyway, I'll see what I can do! First, I'll need some Pocky. This is very important, I just can't get into a fighting mood if I don't eat and no thank you, zombie-san, I don't want to put that in my mouth instead. Second, some kind of weapon. Obviously, Shiro is no good here, and the man in the purple gorilla suit suggested I should use my Ultimate Fanservice Technique: PANTY SHOT (he said the "capslock" was essential, whatever that means) and of course I said what the hell and knocked him through a few trees. The colorful parrot/hawk/toucan (which is it? Maybe I should study a little harder in biology...) suggested I try by the lake, so here I am, but I don't see why--
Ah... a tentacle? Wait, two? Three? S-seven... somehow I feel like that cockatoo wasn't giving friendly advice... eh? Her name's Marcy? She's so... so... so...
COOL. Is she yours, Director-san? Is she? Does she eat souls too, like Shiro? Oh, I know! I need to practice more with Byakuei, so let's make a playdate, Director-san! (Normal girls do that, right? Right?) How's next Wednesday for you? Gorilla-san said this is the best day for Marcy, because hump day is her favorite day of the week!
Poll Vote!