(Untitled)

[fuckyou_chorus]

[SUDDENLY Whoever you are, wherever you are, you feel compelled to wall the person closest to you! Gosh, that's probably kind of awkward...]

((as it says! Compelled walling, decide on your own conditions for release. Please mark in comments whether you are the wall-er or wall-ee! Perhaps you are both! Maybe you were standing in a very narrow

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[acivilservant]

[Looks terrified]

[...is terrified, in point of fact]

--Gh!

[hawkwardmoment]

[clearly the best thing to do is make an inappropriate joke.]

No need to look so scared. I'm not going to eat you. Not before adding some seasoning, anyhow.

[acivilservant]

Th-- That's n-n-n-n-n-not the pr--- problem!

[is looking like he might pass out over here, honestly]

[hawkwardmoment]

[that just makes her lean closer]

Are you sure? Because it might just be me, but you look like you're about to faint.

[acivilservant]

Hkkk--!

[eyes roll up into his head for a moment]

P-p-p-please! Don't-- come any closer!

[hawkwardmoment]

Alright alright!

[going to try to move away.

and trying again.

nope, not budging.

...camp.]

[acivilservant]

[makes a long, high-pitched noise not unlike the air being very slowly let out of a helium balloon and then-- nope. Just blacks right out, slumped against her]

[fomicrymeariver]

[has appeared out of nowhere, somehow]

My, Baby Pie, I never thought you'd be so bold.

[hawkwardmoment]

[so she has a guy in my arms?

[fomicrymeariver]

[I think I'll let you carry him for a bit longer]

Let's just say that you're just his type. Shall I leave you to your spoils, young miss?

[hawkwardmoment]

Oh, that's quite all right. I wouldn't want him to wake up thinking I really am trying to eat him or anything if the sort.

[fomicrymeariver]

[snort]

Very well, I suppose I shall have to take him off your hands. The first time's free of charge.

[hawkwardmoment]

Just the first time? What about the second and onwards?

[fomicrymeariver]

[nonchalantly tossing Guy over his shoulder]

Now, now. You'll simply have to find out by empirical methods. I can't give away all my secrets, can I?

[hawkwardmoment]

In that case, I'll make note to use my wily wily ways to find out.

Although I hope you wouldn't mind little old me a headstart by telling your name?

[fomicrymeariver]

My, where are my manners. I should have offered it in the very beginning. Do call me Jade.