(Untitled)

[fistingthing]

[in the Mess Hall, it's another just lovely Monday . . . with the distinct exception that on this particular Monday, everyone's naked. So perhaps it can be counted as a blessing when, suddenly, the lights go out?]

"Vishante kaffar!"[And then there's light again! If you look closely at the glowing, writhing figure hanging by an ankle from the

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[justwannahave]

[Monday mealtimes used to be so routine--but now there's an elf hanging from the ceiling on Mandatory Naked Day.]

[fistingthing]

[it's really quite the view]

Do not stare.

[justwannahave]

*ignores that request*

I'd offer my beach towel, but I'm using it right now.

[Hmmm, does this make people more or less likely to want sausages for breakfast? :|a]

[fistingthing]

[the sausage on display is quite respectable; answer inclining towards yes]

I said not to stare! [though that does beg a question] Why is everyone unclothed? I had assumed our captors simply wished to deprive Hawke and myself of our equipment, but now I see that everyone has been subjected to this indignity. Even the child.

[longestdream]

[using a not quite adequate towel for cover]

She has a point. If magic got you up there, magic's probably what will get you down.

[fistingthing]

No.

[longestdream]

Yeah, okay then.

[seriously, it's hard not to look] ... is there anything I can do to help?

[fistingthing]

[it's a good view, no one but Fenris himself could blame you for looking]

Unless you own a sharper knife than has already been offered, it seems unlikely. Or perhaps you could help explain to me what exactly is going on here.

[notallmiracles]

[trying to tie some kerchiefs around her bits, BUT THERE IS A MORE PRESSING PROBLEM, people need help!]

Are you guys okay?

[shockingreveal]

... Do you have any extras?

[notallmiracles]

Lightning!

[instead of looking embarassed, she just looks thoughtful.]

Oh!

[unties one of the kitchen kerchiefs from her chest, and moves closer, getting on her knees and pulling it around Lightning's hips, trying to figure out a way to tie it]

[shockingreveal]

I tried going back inside of the stables, but the doors were locked.

[censorbarbie]

[someone is watching from the corner but mostly attempting to be invisible in the meager shadows there, though... this is probably easier said then done when one is a.) nearly naked, b.) a hermaphrodite, c.) using stray cloth to cover one's arm and leg rather than the rest of one's body, and d.) not completely succeeding and having bits of pitch black, undulating flesh show around the edges of the cloth]

[fistingthing]

[you're just in time for the lightshow of an exploding fireball, and Fenris' plummeting drop- right on top of Hawke. How embarrassing.]

[censorbarbie]

Fuck...

[fistingthing]

[both seem to be more-or-less uninjured when Fenris springs away, and he's now shielding himself with a napkin; his glow dies off, since he's no longer exerting himself in the effort to get free]

The show is over.

[flowgotten]

[politely keeping his eye on his food and not on glowing dangly bits]

[fistingthing]

[can you keep your eyes where they belong when an explosion sets the glowy dangly elf free and he falls onto the woman who's on the table?]

[flowgotten]

[no, but only because that'd mean I couldn't JUDGE you both]

[fistingthing]

[yes, well, you will soon be judged back]

[like right about now]