Comments | camesawconquerd: The Old Man & The Enterprise Part 17 of 19

camesawconquerd

The Old Man & The Enterprise Part 17 of 19

Jul 30, 2009 00:10

title: The Old Man and the Enterprise 17/19
rating: R for language and sexual situations
pairing: Kirk/Bones (or as I like to call it... BORK)
disclaimer: Sadly Star Trek is copyrighted to someone else and is in no way mine. I merely write the fanfiction with a lot of unnecessary quirks. Also: keep an eye out for falling literary, film, religious ( Read more... )

pairing: mccoy/kirk, fanfiction: star trex xi, multipart: old man & the usse

Comments 40

fallingcinders July 30 2009, 05:24:50 UTC

Omfg, this. I just don't have words for how beautiful your writing is.

Mi>"Jim."

Silence, if only what crossed in looks could convey itself in words not too-tired to manifest...

"I-" he started.

"-know." Jim finished.

McCoy shut his mouth and looked away.

Jim's voice was soft, almost silent, "I do too."

*wibble*

"I want to--" he pauses, as if searching for second takes and swallows, looking slightly to McCoy's left, avoiding in embarrassment, "it's got to mean something."

Oh, Jim (in an incredibly sentimental turn). I think it would mean something to Bones regardless of where it happened. :)

camesawconquerd July 30 2009, 06:57:57 UTC

It's true! I don't think Bones would be picky about location and I'm sure he just goes along with it because well, it's Jim and Jim's pout is awfully hard to resist so he just has to submit to it. Hee.

♥ thank you for reading~

fallingcinders July 30 2009, 07:27:15 UTC

Yeah, I loved that bit, really~ It was very sweet and made me feel all goopy.<3

camesawconquerd July 30 2009, 07:50:24 UTC

I totally loved writing a little schmoop. It felt great ♥

gelsey July 30 2009, 05:56:52 UTC

Your writing is so beautiful. So lyrical, somehow.

And you hit a huge squee/mush button when you went with the whole music metaphor thing. I love that.

I think it would have meant something to Bones either way, but Jim, that is so sweet!

Beautiful, as always.

camesawconquerd July 30 2009, 07:00:03 UTC

Yaaay!!! Someone else who dug the music metaphor haha, *high fives*

and yes! It amuses me that both you and fallingcinders pointed out the location bit haha, Bones would've been fine anywhere because it's Jim but, like I said above, Bones goes with it because Jim's hard to resist. Plus I think if Jim wants it to mean something then Bones wants it to mean something to Jim too so -- well. yes. :')

♥ thanks for reading bb!

vicki_rae July 30 2009, 06:11:01 UTC

Lovely writing, just lovely.

camesawconquerd July 30 2009, 07:04:17 UTC

Thank you so much! ♥

sangueuk July 30 2009, 06:57:56 UTC

This is the best installment so far: so sweet, intelligent, hungry...God, I loved it. It was almost painful to read the want and love between these two. I'm currently writing something for the Big Bang and the theme is all about love, what it means...blah...blah...Jesus, if I could manage anything like this within my (planned) 15,000 words, I'd die happy.

I also particularly revelled in the setting, the description of the trees and the storm brewing; storms are so damned sexy and full of promise.

Thank you so much for this and please update soon.

camesawconquerd July 30 2009, 07:09:59 UTC

Hee I am a sap and I read this comment like five times because I just loved it that much. And omg I have to get more on top of my big bang fic too. DAMN. Haha I've been kind of consumed with this one and a couple of smaller side one-shots recently but yeesh I need to go ahead and get this one plowed under and start on STBB eek!

Anywho -- gah! I'm just happy you like this so much and that you picked some of my favorite pieces out of this -- the setting, the storm, the trees -- and that all the different emotions played through like they should. SIGH. Okay... okay thank you so much for reading and commenting and !!!! I look forward to STBB time!! :D

kingpsyborg July 30 2009, 07:21:22 UTC

I have been delighted to keep up with this; it's one of the things I look forward to seeing updated. So thank you! Let us all hope my shoddy internet connection lets me make this comment.

You have an ability to write sexuality as connection without saying This Them Connecting that is such a joy to read. I'm sure I could say 'it's hot', but that seems shallow.

McCoy's thought patterns, the way you present them, are deeply interesting. I like that he thinks about poetry and religion and all these old, immortal things; he is a character who is brilliant (whether or not this reload counterpart has made all the drastic leaps in surgery and so on is irrelevent - he has the capacity), and these feel like the thoughts of a brilliant man who is selfless and inattentive of his own brilliance ( ... )

camesawconquerd August 7 2009, 06:06:07 UTC

Your comments often times render me absolutely speechless with the level of enthusiasm and just the depth that you read into them.

There is a chance I will sound somewhat bonkers, here: I find myself enjoying the lack of inference about Jim's feelings. In most fic (and narrative writing in general), there is a certain extension to the characters whose point of view we aren't reading from, to put things in context, and to keep the reader from feeling unduly alienated. The minimal use of it here is really great and so real that sometimes it feels almost uncomfortable - not in a negative way, but in a fascinating one.I thought about switching points of view to show what Jim thinks or what he feels but then it didn't seem as real or as tangibly imperfect as love and relationships tend to be. Omniscience as a narrator is a mighty weapon and though there are brief shows of Jim in his affection or his words or his actions, keeping most of what he thinks and feels in the dark and seeing it from McCoy's point of view makes them both more ( ... )