Ten years...
Author: slowroad93
Title: Ten years...
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Characters: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin Emrys
Summary: It's been ten years since Arthur became the king of Camelot. As he dwells on his memories and regrets, Merlin shows him that it's okay to let the past go and move on.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 996 words
Prompt: Milestone
Ten years…ten years I have been King of Camelot. It’s been a tumultuous time. There’s been war and bloodshed, much of which I might have prevented, had I known about Morgana’s magic and the fact that she was my half-sister long before I did, had I only talked to her and made an effort instead of blindly following my father on his self-destructive and ultimately pointless war on magic. Morgana’s been dead five years now and with her and Mordred gone, Camelot is at peace and so is Albion. The last five years have been peaceful, my people have prospered, magic has been restored to its rightful place and no one has any reason to hide or to be afraid any more. We have more friends than enemies these days and now that that people have stopped trying to kill me at every turn to avenge something that my father did to them, I can rest easy.
It's not a bad list of accomplishments, I think to myself as I stand at my window and watch the sun come up. There’s a big celebration planned today. The Druids are visiting, Queen Annis is here with her entourage and so is King Olaf, who’s relaxed considerably, now that his daughter is safely married. Queen Mithian will be here as well, with her spouse and so will Princess Elena. I think fondly of Elena and Mithian. I’m glad they’ve both found someone who makes them happy. I thought I would have found someone too, by now, but I continue to be depressingly single.
After Guinevere told me that she was flattered by my attention, but that she wanted to be with Lancelot and not me, I gave up looking. Okay…that’s not entirely true. I realised after she left me that she was right. I had never actually been in love with her. I’d liked her a good deal and thought she’d make a wonderful queen, but I’d been in love with someone else entirely. I still am, if it comes to that. I just haven’t found the courage to tell him yet. I’m not sure I’m worthy of Merlin. He’s been nothing but loving and loyal in all the years that I’ve known him.
As a prince I was selfish and capricious, I stood by him one day and treated him like he was nothing to me the next. And when I became the King, I pushed him away, choosing to listen to that traitor Agravaine instead of Merlin. Why he continued to stay with me, I will never know. Things changed, I changed after he saved my life yet again in the final battle after Modred stabbed me and I fell. I’ve spent the last five years trying to prove to Merlin that I can be good and kind, that I can be a true friend and love him as steadfastly as he loves me. I sigh as that familiar ache settles in my chest. I feel it every time I think about Merlin.
There’s a knock on the door. I assume that it’s my manservant. I’m surprised to see Merlin instead. My heart lifts and I smile. He’s carrying a tray with tea and cake on it.
“Good morning,” he says cheerfully as he puts the tray on the table.
“Morning. What are you doing carrying food around? Why didn’t you get a servant to do that for you?”
“Because I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to share the morning with you without any nosy servants around.”
That makes me smile. “Thank you,” I say, as I take a chair.
Merlin sits down and pours the tea. “I wanted to get you alone for a while before the festivities start and things get busy,” he says.
“That’s thoughtful of you, but then you’ve never been anything less.”
Merlin quirks an eyebrow at that. “What’s on your mind?” He says.
“Just thinking about today…about the last ten years.”
“It’s been interesting, hasn’t it?”
“That’s one word for it.”
“I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Not entirely. There are a few things I’m not proud of, particularly the way I treated you.”
“I think you can forgive yourself for those things now. I know I have.”
“Yeah?”
“You’ve changed, Arthur, and it’s made me so happy to see. Now if you will just quit feeling bad about who you used to be, we can both be happy.”
“Aren’t you happy now?”
“I am. But I need you to stop torturing yourself over Morgana’s death, stop wondering about everything that you could’ve done differently and I definitely need you to stop feeling guilty about the way you treated me in the years that led to that final battle. All of that is in the past and it shouldn’t, needn’t affect the present. Today is the tenth anniversary of you being King. The people are happier than they’ve ever been. They want to celebrate. I want to celebrate.”
I understand what Merlin is saying. Maybe it is time to let the past go. I sigh.
“You’re a good king,” he says gently. “You deserve the love of your people. You deserve my love and devotion and you’ve always had it.”
That makes my eyes well up. I’m still not sure I deserve Merlin, but maybe I should just listen to him when he tells me that I do.
“I love you,” I say, unable to keep the words inside me any more.
“I know. I love you too.”
Merlin comes over to my side of the table. He leans down and kisses me softly on my lips. I pull him down into my lap and we hold each other as we continue to kiss, finally giving expression to feelings long held in check. I will now remember and celebrate the day I became the King for an entirely different and definitely more life altering reason. It will forever be the day on which Merlin took me for his own.