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XIII. Are my cigarettes worth your life?
Just for the record: I do not own simply one pack of cigarettes. So to whoever slipped them out of my purse? You are clearly an idiot. One does not smoke as long as I have without acquiring half filled packs in the most peculiar places.
And if anyone attempts to pickpocket or Accio my cigarettes? Don't. I will extinguish my cigarettes on your ( Read more... ) -
XII. Just TRY it
YOU!
You can Apparate, you can hide, but I WILL find you and I will hurt you. I will turn the bones of your fingers into powder, I will rip your hair out strand by strand, and I will hang you by your little toes and use you as a bleeding pinata!
( Private to Richard ) -
XI. Private to Mandy
Mandy ( Read more... ) -
X. Hello there
Richard, darling, I think I might have left a pair of knickers at your flat last night. Have you seen them? -
IX. Has the Prophet ever met a real Slytherin?
Are you kidding? That article is so full of stereotypical rubbish. Reporter had to be a Gryffindor. -
VIII. Private to Melinda, Mandy, Eddie, Meaghan, Wilda, Oliver, Matilda
If you can see this that means you have either spoken out against the dog or you're connected to someone who is very outspoken against the dog and your services are required ( Read more... ) -
VII. I hate dogs
I swear to Salazar, Mandy, if that flea ridden mongrel comes near our flat have Itsy hex the damn thing and transport it somewhere far, far away. -
VI. Public Service Announcement Number Two
People in this building need to stop making small talk in the lobby. One, do I look like I want to smile and nod while you babble? And two, why should I care how you and your day is going? I don't, for the record. So let's just finish this conversation here, hmm ( Read more... ) -
V. Private to Warrington
Cassius?
Smith invited me to kip on your sofa for a few days while I find another flat. Since I sleep while you work and you work while I sleep I figured - why use the sofa? I'll just use your room while you're out and about. I'll be gone before you know it, darling. Thank you! -
IV. Fascinating!
Does anyone have popcorn? I love being reminded why relationships are hardly worth the drama.