Reaction Picspam: Sherlock 2015 Christmas Special (Part 3 of 4)
Live-Bloggish Picspam Reaction/Recap for Sherlock 2015 Christmas Special
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE - "The Abominable Bride"
-You're really not helping me not suspect you of shenanigans, Mycroft. Although that's probably another baseline assumption of Sherlock's Mind Palace scenario.
-"How did you get that? I left it at the crime scene." Silly Sherlock. This is all in your head! *pats*
-"Moriarty is dead."/"And yet." Ah, Mycroft dropping back into his previous head-Mycroft role of poking at Sherlock when he's missing something. Good. This may result in progress.
-"His body was never recovered." THANK YOU. Okay, since this is all a Mind Palace thing, and while it would be lovely to get a bit of an actual canon 'fight at the Falls' parallel scene, I'm taking that as no, nobody got Moriarty's body off the hospital roof (except maybe his allies) and he's still alive and for some reason, has not been able to do anything about Sherlock globetrotting and dismantling his empire.... Hm. So that's another puzzle. Regardless, All the deaths on or involving the hospital roof were faked, and Moriarty is alive. Right? Barring blatant confirmation to the contrary, that is what I shall be assuming as entirely possible. Now, if only Sherlock's head-Mycroft can get him past Sherlock's faith in the evidence of his own senses, the baseline fact of this Mind Palace scenario can be unset and progress can indeed be made.
-"To be expected when one pushes a maths professor over a waterfall." *canon reference fistpump* WHEEE!!! \o/
-"Pure reason toppled by melodrama; your life in a nutshell." Oooo, nice meta!
-"Where do you pick up these extraordinary expressions?" What, 'in a nutshell'? Shakespeare. *shrug*
-OH HI "FALLS OF THE REICHENBACH" PAINTING. The one that BBC Sherlock recovered instead of taking a side trip to Switzerland. Sherlock's having reality leaks in his Mind Palace analysis, and I think that's a good thing at this point, seeing as he's pretty much run the 'Moriarty's actually dead' options into the ground. Time for a basepoint shift.
-*waterfalls actually falling in painting* Oh look. It's a GIF!
(I would have said wizard painting but it's just the people who move in those, isn't it?)
-*nods at Mycroft sporking Sherlock's perception of reality* Not only is this getting him back to being aware he's not really in Victorian England, it's also serving to make Sherlock question his perceptions, all of which are definitely a good thing. Out in the real world he must be practically in a fugue state with this. Hope he's somewhere comfortable.
-"You're in deep, Sherlock, deeper than you ever intended to be." Ooooooooo.... "Have you made a list?" Always a good idea.
-"The virus in the data." HA! Just in case there was anyone left who doesn't realize none of this is real. And another big poke about Sherlock working with a flaw at the base level of assumed facts, that Moriarty is dead. Bwahaha. *rubs hands*
-OOO! Mind Palace Architecture!! *points* The painting is probably where he keeps his memory of Moriarty's death; fixed and static. But it's started to move and change, so that fixed fact is starting to become unmoored and reconsidered for him. Ehhhhxcellent.
-"I have to finish this." Yes you do, and you can start by rebooting your scenario to either run on the more accurate base assumption, or at least run without a base assumption taken as fact.
-"I'll be waiting."/"Yes. I'm very much afraid you will." Aw. Deep down, Sherlock knows his big brother gives a damn, even if he can only allow that it exists in the periphery, when he's not directly observing it. Aw.
-I see Sherlock is already practicing for his next life as a cosmic wizard.
-And it seems there's a bit of a draft. XD
-*squints* "Viscount Hummersknot Dead" Not only did this person lose the draw on who got the Viscount names that don't sound like a Roald Dahl bad guy, their death is also so unnotable that it and the bafflement Scotland Yard feels about it shows up in the classified ads above the *squints harder* 'Militia Competitive Examination' schedule. "Sordid end to brilliant career." Obviously not that brilliant or sordid or he'd have made it to an actual article somewhere closer to the front page. "Renowned peer victim of vitriol attack." Vitriol? So he got really angry and died? OH!!! OIL OF VITRIOL! THE STUFF THE WORD CAME FROM. HOLY CRAP. ALSO APPEARING IN THE ACD STORY THE "ILLUSTRIOUS CLIENT"! DID MARY (and possibly Kitty Winter who was in "His Last Vow" as the 'Richard Brook' reporter but really, Illustrious Client??? Kitty's gotta be involved!) TURN UP AND THROW VITRIOL IN THIS GUY'S FACE FOR ABUSING WOMEN AND BEING A WOMANISING CAD AND STALKER AND ALL-ROUND CREEP? Because that kind of asshat is right up the "Bride's" alley, judging from the victimology so far of men who are misogynistic jackasses in some way. That was an unexpected canon tie-in! *canon reference fistpump* Interesting... *ponders heavily*
-(If it is a league of women being 'the bride' and seeking retribution though, I don't think this method is going to be an effective plan in advancing equality. Fear is an effective motivator, but it usually motivates things for the worse.)
-"Two days he's been like that." I suppose since he's in his Mind Palace, visiting his Mind Palace inside his Mind Palace (*insert Inception BWONG noise here*) would not need to be interrupted by eating, sleeping or going to the loo.
-Aw, Mrs. Hudson's called in Lestrade. Awwwwwwwww.
-"Why d'you make [the reporters] tea?"/"I don't know. I just sort of do." HEEEEEE!! Well, at least Sherlock appreciates her tea-making abilities. Now actual Mrs. Hudson would have told them all to sod off, and if she did offer tea, it would be a kind that promoted frequent trips to the bathroom (at the very least) to get them to go away faster. But still nicely.
-"He said there’s only one suspect and then he just walks away, and now he won’t explain."/"Which is strange, because he likes that bit." HA!!! XD Okay, so, despite there being a ton of rational explanations for it not being Ricoletti's ghost, or even it being Ricoletti still alive, Sherlock's Mind Palace construct is not getting him where he needs to be, and he needs to recalibrate his base assumptions so he's stopped playing along with it. *nods* I think another sign of progress.
-"Said it was so simple even I could solve it."/"I'm sure he was exaggerating." Aw, poor Lestrade. Even Mrs Hudson doesn't respect his capabilities. Though given this is in Sherlock's head, his capabilities are probably impaired compared to actual Lestrade.
-"The Devil." OH. Well, yes, by all means, since he's just hanging about in the basement, let's let Sherlock's head!Moriarty out of the padded cell and throw him directly into the analysis. That ought to shift some paradigms in a hurry. O.o
-Yeah, that's in Sherlock's head too. Don't know how if it'd be any help though. Although, since this is his Mind Palace, perhaps it's a placeholder for bypassing the perceived evidence and changing his perception of impossible? Don't know.
-"Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind." HI MORIARTY! Nice repurposing of that quote too. Like 'don't know how you expect direct contact with the memories you have of me to help since you figure you've already thought of everything, but whatever'.
-"And possibly my answer has crossed yours."/"Like a bullet." Ha ha ha.
-"It's a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing gown, or are you just pleased to see me." Ah Moriarty, you depraved little turnip, I've missed you.
-"I’m sure you’ve acquainted yourself with them before now."/"Well, you are always away on your little adventures for the Strand." See, now. I find that quite disturbing. Because Sherlock knows Moriarty was in actual 221B before, not only did he invite him over for tea, Moriarty popped in on his own and hacked John's blog to post about it. Sadly the media of Moriarty creeping on the contents of 221B has gone 404 since, but anyway. Sherlock's not talking about real 221B. This is his Mind Palace, and this is the Moriarty he keeps locked away in the very bottom of it in a padded cell, chained up. THIS Moriarty is an element of Sherlock, in some way, and one he keeps tightly constrained. That a part of Sherlock's mental make-up that he keeps locked down might be not so constrained and be capable of leaking into other parts of Sherlock's memory and psychology is somewhat distressing. At least to me, but I'm a little odd like that.
-Six times. That he's aware of. Well that's nice. O.o
-Sherlock doesn't seem to think much of his head!Mrs Hudson's capacity to dust though.
-"By the way, you have a surprisingly comfortable bed." On one level that's far less disturbing than anything Magnussen did in 221B, and on the other hand, this being Sherlock's Mind Palace, and his bed being a repository of some subset of knowledge or memory in that setting, it's still very disturbing to have someone messing around in it uninvited. Even if that someone is another Mind Palace construct and a part of your own mental architecture. That you keep locked in a padded cell in your mental basement. Eeeeep.
-"Did you know that dust is largely made up of human skin?" Yeah, you've still got a long way to go before you out-creep Magnusson. Except... if Mind Palace Moriarty represents for Sherlock on some level aspects of his own psyche he'd rather repress than allow out, the kind of creepy 'ingestion at a distance' metaphor is a bit threatening, in a 'the parts of your mental make-up that you most fear want to ingest you and take over' sort of way. But I'm overthinking this VASTLY, I'm sure.
-"Doesn't taste the same though. You want your skin fresh. A little crispy." Hee. Hard to make shoes out of dust too, I suppose.
-Just in case anyone's forgotten why Sherlock has let his inner Moriarty loose. That pesky problem of being convinced he's dead, yet still running amok in London. For very limited values of amok unless there have been intervening Moriarty mayhems committed between the GIF attack and whenever Sherlock is doing this Mind Palace business. Can't be very long though, since the powers that be aren't likely to let Sherlock sit around Mind Palacing for days after cancelling his exile to stop Moriarty if Moriarty is out blowing up half the British Isles.
-Right, never mind, he's on the airport tarmac Mind Palace Macarena-ing and real Moriarty (or gif!Moriarty's transmission enabler) hasn't had a chance to do anything yet, because time flows differently in Sherlock's head. *facepalm*
-"D'you mind if I fire this? Just to clean it out?" Guns! Whee! It's a stand-off!
-A brief one. *examines image in mirror for meta*
-"You chose to come here."/"Not true. You know that's not true." Nope. Sherlock summoned him up to brainstorm the problem of how he could be alive.
-"There's only one thing in this whole business you find interesting." His face here just makes me giggle. Those eyebrows.
-"I know what you're doing." And Sherlock's whole Victorian Mind Palace world starts shaking. Paradigm shift? Let's hope so.
-"The Bride put the gun in her mouth and shot the back of her head off, and then she came back." Moriarty has some of the best faces.
-"You need to know how. How? It's tearing your world apart not knowing." Yep. These things happen when you take an assumption, make it an unassailable fact and build a world on top of it.
-"Because doesn't this remind you of another case?" *facepalm* Is Sherlock still so lost in his own head that he's totally forgotten what he's here for? Seems like. *headdesk* Well, in his defense, this is close after he got exiled. He's still processing a lot of stuff, like how he flat-out murdered a guy to protect John and Mary, then pretty much figured he was going on a suicide mission and would never see them again. That sort of thing tends to throw off your capacity to think straight and not get sucked into a non-productive Victorian rabbit-hole-slash-hamster wheel in your brain.
-"It's on the tip of my tongue." Hee. Even Sherlock's head!Moriarty likes being a troll.
-"For the sake of Mrs Hudson’s wallpaper, I must remind you that one false move with your finger and you will be dead." Oooo, the way he says dead. Still can't not believe what he thinks he saw himself. Didn't you learn anything from the Hound, Sherlock? Perceptions can be deceiving.
-"Dead is the new sexy." HA. And now we've brought Irene in via reference. Since she also had Sherlock convinced he'd seen her dead body at one point, and yet she's still alive. Chipping away at the baseline assumption of this construct from another angle. *nods*
(Meanwhile on the soundtrack, all the stringed instruments have gone straight to Hell, which I am assuming means Moriarty is about to ventilate his brain again, or at least appear to. *turns volume down in anticipation of loud sudden noises*)
-Or Sherlock's Mind Palace world is going to fall apart. Either or.
-Or both. One leading to the other. Hard to say.
-Hm. Angle's a bit off from the side.
-That's a good point as well. The sun was in Sherlock's eyes at the time, wasn't it? * checks* No, it seems to have been in Moriarty's eyes. Hm
-Bang and spray of blood. And up pops Moriarty like toast. Deranged, murderous, psychopathic toast.
-"Well, I’ll tell you what, that rather blows the cobwebs away." Yeah, it could do. A brisk walk and a cup of coffee is usually more survivable though. XD
-"How can you be alive?" And we FINALLY get to the actual purpose of Sherlock's Victorian Mind Palace subroutine. It's been a bit like Deep Thought coming up with the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything, but he got there eventually. *pats Sherlock*
-Oh and nice soundtrack callback to the roof. Very nice. *claps*
-*big squishy hole in the back of Moriarty's head* Not capping that. Ew. It's too dark anyway. Loos like some part of Sherlock is still filling in a presumed reality though. He'll get past that soon.
-"You can be honest. Is it noticeable?" Hehe. Only if that's the way he wants it perceived. It only shows from certain angles. Otherwise he looks as normal as Moriarty ever does. Seems to be all about angles and perspective suddenly. *ponders significantly*
-"Maybe I could back-comb." Pfffft!
-"I saw you die. Why aren't you dead?" Meanwhile, Sherlock is still blowing his boggle check. I'm actually quite stunned his Victorian construct-world hasn't crumbled around them to a blank white room by now. I suppose though that Sherlock has all this mental investment in working the case of Moriarty's return built into this overwrought tangle of thought, building off the assumption of Moriarty's death as fact, and on some level he figures it's better to keep it running and change the baseline assumption than shatter it and start over. Kind of like trying to upgrade your operating system while trying to render a complicated graphic though, I would think. Which of course means mayhem! \o/ And possibly zombies! \o/
-"It's not the fall that kills you. It's never the fall." It's the sudden stop at the end? How does that apply?
-"It's the landing!" With a great crazy-face from Moriarty.
SO. In his case, it's not the bullet that would have killed him, it's the impact of the bullet, and so, the bullet didn't impact, or at least didn't impact anywhere not survivable ( lot of that going around lately...)... hm. Is my theory about a blank and a blood bag and squib back in 2012 correct? Or did Moriarty shoot past his own head, which would still need a blood bag and squib since I really doubt Moriarty would be willing to risk his aim and try to crease his own scalp with a bullet. He might get a scar! Still. If it turns out any of this is correct, I might reserve the right to be insufferably smug.
-And now everything's going to shake itself apart as Sherlock's baseline truth shifts to a questionable possibility. Really, he should at least do this with a soft reboot. Come out of the Mind Palace for a couple minutes, grab a sandwich, go pee, whatever, then get back in once everything's shifted around the new core.
-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH He's not even on the tarmac. HE'S STILL ON THE GOD DAMNED PLANE!!! XD
-HI REAL JOHN AND MARY!!! I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! STILL STANDING ON THE TARMAC WATCHING SHERLOCK'S PLANE COME BACK A FEW MINUTES AFTER MORIARTY'S GIF ATTACK. No problems meshing this up between Series 3 and 4 continuity then. This whole episode is literally like an extended end credits scene for "His Last Vow", isn't it? XD
-...sigh. "It's the landing." And the plane is landing. Ha ha ha. *facepalm*
-"No, no, no, not now!" Yeah, don't interrupt him when he's Mind Palacing and finally getting somewhere. Sherlock needs a 'do not disturb' sign.
-"I trust you had a pleasant flight, sir?" Firstly, Ahahahahah, it's Lady Carmichael, what's her name, with the hedge maze and the dead husband, (I think, anyway?), and secondly, he WAS originally being flown off to exile and a suicide mission, so 'pleasant' may not be the best word. Though, to be fair, the flight ended in him not actually going off on a mission to die in whereverthehell in six months time, so, yeah, maybe pleasant is the right word after all! \o/
-Ah yes, sometimes when you are suddenly awoken, half your mind stays stuck in 1895 (or whenever, have they said?) with your undead arch-nemesis, and the processors bog severely. This is why there's coffee! \o/
-"I have to go back!"/"What?" Really, making Sherlock have to deal with Mycroft while he's still half-aware of reality is unfair. Although if all this Moriarty's return business was in any way engineered by Mycroft to end Sherlock's exile, as I have at various points suspected, he really deserves that moment of boggle.
-"Ricoletti and his abominable wife, don't you understand?"/"Of course we don't, you're not making any sense Sherlock." Ahahahah, yes, this is a problem you run into when there you have head-versions of the real people in your life. There is an appalling lack of communication between the ones in your head and the real ones. Probably for the best though, that.
-"It was a case, a famous one, from a hundred years ago." Ohhhh, that explains the Victorian setting. Here I thought Sherlock had his Mind Palace barking so far up the wrong tree that it jumped eras.
-Have I said I love Mary's coat? I love Mary's coat.
-"It's been five minutes since Mycroft called. What progress have you made, what have you been doing?" Heee! Though Mycroft has probably been running his own analysis ((or running the logistics of the whole 'Moriarty's Return' ruse to bring his baby brother home) though he has been rather quiet since Ricoletti was mentioned...), John and Mary are Watsons. They've been waiting to find out which asses to kick first.
-"How would I have solved the crime if I had been there in 1895?" AHA! THOUGHT SO. Moffatt and Gatiss are too big of fans of ACD and Holmes lore not to set the Victorian parts of this in 1895, even with their other nod to it on John's blog counter.
-"Oh Sherlock." And Mycroft turns away. Ha. Well. I was about to say that Mycroft looked a little too concerned about what Sherlock's been investigating in his Mind Palace, but that's a pretty definite... something. The same kind of 'oh Sherlock' he got for shooting Magnussen. So. Hunh. The case for Mycroft masterminding Moriarty's "return" to end Sherlock's exile seems to be gaining ground, because if Sherlock figures out that it's Mycroft, there's no need to keep him back from exile, and Mycroft will lose him to the suicide mission. Hmmmmmmmm. Of course I am quite probably entirely wrong on that, but that was an interesting 'oh Sherlock' from Mycroft, and it bears pondering. *ponders*
-And the sitting bears pondering too. That is not the sitting of a man who is invested in a mystery being solved. That is the sitting of a man with secrets and guilt. And a new umbrella? Nope, same umbrella.
-"You've been reading John's blog, The story of how you met." AWWWWWWWWW!!!! AS HE WAS GOING OFF INTO EXILE AND PROBABLY NEVER SEEING HIS BEST FRIEND AGAIN HE WAS RE-READING HOW THEY FIRST MET AND AAAAAAAAAA! That's adorable. Mary thinks so too. Look at that face. Mary has this amazing face you guys. It ought to be appreciated more.
-"It helps if I see myself through his eyes sometimes." You'll have to excuse me, I have just exploded slightly from best friends squee. EEEEEE! Right, better now.
-AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
-"I'm so much cleverer." I CAN'T AWWWW ANY HARDER HERE!!!!
-"You really think anyone's believing you?" Hm, now there's an interesting statement on the situation from Mycroft. He can't think Sherlock's got into the drugs again. Sherlock's been under guard the whole time. Hm. Some reason for wanting your brother to doubt himself there, Mycroft?
-"I've seen it, the Mind Palace, it's like a whole world in his head." And John believes in it strongly enough that he would rely on it to turn up instructions on defusing a bomb they were about to be blown up by. Because it's got nothing to do with the Mind Palace, really. John Watson believes in Sherlock Holmes. *smishes them both* (John's face did a silly, it just paused like this, I swear.)
-"A Mind Palace is a memory technique. I know what it can do and I know what it most certainly cannot." Call me paranoid, but Mycroft's over-investment in casting doubt on anything Sherlock might come up with from his Mind Palace subroutine is something I find highly suspect.
-"Maybe there are one or two things that I know, that you don't." Well, Sherlock did canonically spend time in Tibet, so there could be a whole hell of a lot of things Sherlock knows that Mycroft doesn't. (Oh the crossovers are going to be fascinating.)
-"Oh there are." Oh, well, let's just admit everything, shall we Mycroft? Seriously, is Moriarty's return actually all a trick orchestrated by Mycroft? Or what else is he hiding? Seriously... hey. They had a big production planned for faking Sherlock's death. They had 13 of them. Did Mycroft help Moriarty fake his death too??? O.o
-"Did you make a list?" With a little muted depth charge noise. EEE! Like in the Mind Palace. Wait. WAIT. ARE WE STILL IN THE MIND PALACE??? O.O FFFFF.
-"You've put on weight." Uh, not helping with the localizing of reality here... O.O
-"Stop this. Just stop it! Did you make a list?" OKAY, MYCROFT IS KINDA FREAKING ME OUT NOW. O.O
-"Of what?"/"Everything, Sherlock, everything you've taken." ...Really, Mycroft? You think he's had a chance since being incarcerated to do drugs? That really doesn't seem sensible for Mycroft. Though... it does keep on casting doubt and distraction on anything Sherlock might come out with... Mycroft keeps doing these things that make me suspect I'm right about him faking Moriarty's return. It really is making me a bit nervous. O.o
-"He goes into a sort of trance, I've seen him do it." Grinning all over from John backing up Sherlock on the Mind Palace.
-What, there's a list of drugs he's taken? Really? How?? WHEN??? He's been under guard! O.o
-Oh dear. That's not a good look from John. :-/
-"We have an agreement, my brother and I, ever since that day." Oh god, this is going to be some painful drug backstory, isn't it? :-(
-Yep.
-"Wherever I find him, whatever back-alley or doss house, there'll always be a list." Well. I guess all things considered, that's a good practice, so if there's a medical emergency or an OD, they know what to avoid adding to the mix, but. *sigh* I'm not a fan of the tendency of some reiterations of Holmes, particularly recent ones, to focus on the drug use mentioned sporadically in the original books, written back when opium use was about as socially acceptable as smoking is today (even though Watson was against it as a sensible doctor), so the context was very different. But that's my personal issue. Moving on now.
-"He couldn't have taken all that in the last five minutes." Or the last however long it's been since he was incarcerated for killing Magnussen, since I'm sure he was thoroughly searched given his history, and not left in the general prison population or out from under watch where he could have gotten access to any supply. Which would have been at least 12 hours, plus some for Mycroft talking over the situation with Lady Smallwood and the council of suits, etc. So. If he took drugs, how'd he get them? *stares grimly at Mycroft*
-"He was high before he got on the plane."/"Didn't seem high." I agree with Mary (what's on her phone that's so fascinating?), who ought to have a better idea of what a person on a shit-ton of drugs looks and behaves like due to her shadowy background, not to mention training as a nurse. John could be blinded by his belief in Sherlock, but Mary can 'tell when he's fibbing'. And also, again, Sherlock has been under guard, searched, and without access to drugs for at least 12 hours, if not more like 36. How long was he incarcerated before they decided on this exile business? Did they say? I forget.
-"For god's sake, this could kill you! You could die!" John, as always, has one priority: Sherlock's continued existence. Good Watson.
-"Not usually fatal" is not as reassuring a statement as you might think, Sherlock.
-"Amelia Ricoletti, I'm looking her up." Oh good, someone's on the case. Mary's a good Watson too.
-"I have access to the top level of the MI5 archives-"/"Yep. That's where I'm looking." Heeeeee! Go Mary! \o/
-"What do you think of MI5 security?"/"I think it would be a good idea." Please can we keep Mary forever? Mycroft's sense of omniscience needs a good sporking now and then.
-"Yapping? Sorry, did we interrupt your 'session'?" Ooo, that's a look that has a throttling behind it. Again. Some more.
-"Sherlock, listen to me."/"No. It only encourages you."/"I’m not angry with you-"/"Oh, that’s a relief. I was really worried. No, hold on, I really wasn’t." Ah, brotherly snark, lovely. :-)
-"I was there for you before, I’ll be there for you again. I’ll always be there for you." On one hand BROTHERY SCHMOOP. On the other hand oh ho ho. Mycroft is REALLY not helping dissuade me from the 'Mycroft faked Moriarty's return and/or death' theory, particularly because of the half spinny camera angle of sudden change of perspective on Sherlock, and partly because Mycroft is making an emotional statement of brotherly love (or something) without benefit of spiked Christmas punch, and him being Mycroft and Mycroft knowing his brother gets a little set off-balance by displays of emotional stuff and whatnot, this is now feeling a little like he's confessing to bringing back Moriarty/faking Moriarty's death outright, but doing so in a way that Sherlock will be off-balanced by and may not get the entire gist as it is washed away by the sheer horror of 'oh god, Mycroft is having feelings at me, make him stop!' *breathes* I mean, it's all just a theory, but it keeps getting these little bits that seem to support it, so now I really am wondering.
-"I'll always be there for you." Oh and there's some Mind Palace math going on with that little bit of heartfelt confession/misdirection thrown into the mix now, isn't there?
-"This was my fault." Meep! O.O
-"It was nothing to do with you." And yet there's some kind of mental recalibration going on there...
-"A week in a prison cell, I should have realized."/"Realized what?" That there's no way Sherlock could have access to drugs if he's been in prison for a week? He did say at the end of His Last Vow that they were keeping Sherlock out of the general prison population, and he would have been closely watched, so if Sherlock is high, where the hell did he get the drugs from??? It's a plot hole. List be damned. Anyone can write a list. Sherlock is perfectly capable of writing a list of drugs when he had no access to drugs, for whatever purpose having Mycroft and everyone doubting his word might serve. Or maybe it's actually a secret code they worked out for some reason when they were younger. Or something. *handwave*
-"That in your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy." Ahahahahha. True, and in general, also true. And also OW. And also, Mycroft Holmes, Mummy Holmes is going to smack your backside with a slipper for locking your baby brother in a cement closet for a week, never mind who he killed.
-"Morphine or cocaine?" says John offscreen. You've got the list, John, they're probably both on there. Unless this jet has a really unusual in-flight drugs trolley service (which would in fact explain how Sherlock got the drugs) that's being run by someone who sounds like John. On a government plane... which really doesn't do much to rule it out actually.
-"I didn't say anything." OH. WELL. WE'RE STILL IN THE MIND PALACE, JUST TAKING A BREAK IN 2014 (or whenever) TO PICK UP A BIT OF PERSPECTIVE, AREN'T WE? In that case *handwaves everything*
-Sherlock lip-syncing to John's voice is unusually disturbing.
-"Answer me, damn it!" YEP. And now your head!Watson can give you hell about the drugs too. Or rather again. Still. FFFFF, WHAT IS REALITY ANYMORE!?
-"I was on a jet."/"A what?" Yes, the perfect thing to do to convince your physician flatmate you haven't been abusing drugs and are on the floor for perfectly rational reasons is to start speaking nonsense. *googles history of the word 'jet'* A spurt or gush of water, or a kind of stone. Yeah, that's not going to get very far in the making sense department.
-"A seven percent solution." Of course.
-"Would you like to try it?"/"No. But I would quite like to find every ounce of the stuff in your possession and pour it out of the window." Ah, there's my Watson. A little anachronistic for the attitudes of Victorian times, but Watson was a little ahead of the popular opinion on recreational drugs in the original books too.
-"Then you would be reminded quite forcibly which of us is a soldier and which of us is a drug addict." *grins* Yes, Watson will beat the crap out of you to save you from yourself if he has to, Sherlock.
-"I'm an Army doctor which means I could break every bone in your body while naming them." Or just sprain them if he's feeling charitable. :-)
-"Never on a case. You promised me. Never on a case."/"No, I just said that in one of your stories." Now, is that in a story his head!Watson wrote, or in John's blog? Either way, this argument happening in Sherlock's Mind Palace construct takes on a different skew, though I'm not sure quite what to make of it.
-"Listen. I’m happy to play the fool for you. I will run along behind you like some halfwit making you look clever if that’s what you need. But dear God above, you will hold yourself to a higher standard!" Hehe. While I don't doubt actual John would say much the same thing, the fact that this is the Watson in Sherlock's head is kind of touching? Because it's not John saying this, it's part of Sherlock. It's the part of Sherlock that knows he can be a stronger person and a better person, and wants him to live up to the image John has of him, as dented as he's managed to make that image with the whole pretending to be dead bit. He wants to be the person John sees him as. And so an image of John is the one calling him on his behaviour, where perhaps previously, it would have been his head!Mycroft nagging him and shaming him and reverting him to being a child, as seen in His Last Vow's sojourn in the Mind Palace, which he would be more inclined to reject or rebel against. He wants to be a better person, so consciously or unconsciously he is letting the image of John help him become a better person by occasionally threatening to break every bone in his body in an anatomically correct manner.
-"Why? Because of your idiot stories?"/"Yes, because of my idiot stories." *nods* Though again, since these stories are the ones Sherlock's Head!Watson writes about him that recreate him as a hero, what role are they playing in his psychological self-reflection? They're stories the part of him that wants him to be better makes up about him... I have too much of a headache already to go down that particular rabbit hole.
-When opening a telegram causes the tuba section to go into high gear, you know something is up.
-"It's Mary." Eep? They didn't injure the Bride when they last saw her, did they? Because I think at least one of the women running around in wedding dresses and killing jerks is probably Mary. Who is doing it because Mycroft asked? For Queen and country? ...I don't know, this is all in Sherlock's head, so as I mentioned earlier, it could still be working through a bit of subconscious 'Mary shot me' issues.
-"It's entirely possible she's in danger." Well crap! What's Mycroft gotten her into? O.o
-"I'm sure she's just visiting with friends." *facepalm* Right. For some reason, Sherlock's head-Watson also has to be representative of the Victorian male attitude toward women. Likely something for the cold case of Amelia Ricoletti, still not sure how it helps the Moriarty computations though.
-"Come on!" Sherlock getting shouty because Mary's in danger makes me weirdly happy, though I suspect she's in danger in a way that's going to look really bad, at least on the surface if not all the way down to 'oh by the way I was an assassin for years before you met me' levels.
-"Are you even in a fit state?"/"For Mary of course. Never doubt that, Watson, never that." *flappy haaaaands* Okay, so maybe he isn't doubting Mary's reasons for shooting him after all!
-And then he uncappably half collapses and I start to wonder about the effect of cocaine on blood pressure and the advisability of combining that with sudden news about a friend in danger and running down a flight of stairs, even though he's only taken it in his Mind Palace (maybe) so... Hm... He's still slightly unbalanced? Nothing new there then! :-)
-"You're Sherlock Holmes, wear the damn hat." Hahahahahaha XD
Continued in...
PART FOUR
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR RUMOURS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION FOR SERIES 4 OF SHERLOCK IN COMMENTS)
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE - "The Abominable Bride"
-You're really not helping me not suspect you of shenanigans, Mycroft. Although that's probably another baseline assumption of Sherlock's Mind Palace scenario.
-"How did you get that? I left it at the crime scene." Silly Sherlock. This is all in your head! *pats*
-"Moriarty is dead."/"And yet." Ah, Mycroft dropping back into his previous head-Mycroft role of poking at Sherlock when he's missing something. Good. This may result in progress.
-"His body was never recovered." THANK YOU. Okay, since this is all a Mind Palace thing, and while it would be lovely to get a bit of an actual canon 'fight at the Falls' parallel scene, I'm taking that as no, nobody got Moriarty's body off the hospital roof (except maybe his allies) and he's still alive and for some reason, has not been able to do anything about Sherlock globetrotting and dismantling his empire.... Hm. So that's another puzzle. Regardless, All the deaths on or involving the hospital roof were faked, and Moriarty is alive. Right? Barring blatant confirmation to the contrary, that is what I shall be assuming as entirely possible. Now, if only Sherlock's head-Mycroft can get him past Sherlock's faith in the evidence of his own senses, the baseline fact of this Mind Palace scenario can be unset and progress can indeed be made.
-"To be expected when one pushes a maths professor over a waterfall." *canon reference fistpump* WHEEE!!! \o/
-"Pure reason toppled by melodrama; your life in a nutshell." Oooo, nice meta!
-"Where do you pick up these extraordinary expressions?" What, 'in a nutshell'? Shakespeare. *shrug*
-OH HI "FALLS OF THE REICHENBACH" PAINTING. The one that BBC Sherlock recovered instead of taking a side trip to Switzerland. Sherlock's having reality leaks in his Mind Palace analysis, and I think that's a good thing at this point, seeing as he's pretty much run the 'Moriarty's actually dead' options into the ground. Time for a basepoint shift.
-*waterfalls actually falling in painting* Oh look. It's a GIF!
(I would have said wizard painting but it's just the people who move in those, isn't it?)
-*nods at Mycroft sporking Sherlock's perception of reality* Not only is this getting him back to being aware he's not really in Victorian England, it's also serving to make Sherlock question his perceptions, all of which are definitely a good thing. Out in the real world he must be practically in a fugue state with this. Hope he's somewhere comfortable.
-"You're in deep, Sherlock, deeper than you ever intended to be." Ooooooooo.... "Have you made a list?" Always a good idea.
-"The virus in the data." HA! Just in case there was anyone left who doesn't realize none of this is real. And another big poke about Sherlock working with a flaw at the base level of assumed facts, that Moriarty is dead. Bwahaha. *rubs hands*
-OOO! Mind Palace Architecture!! *points* The painting is probably where he keeps his memory of Moriarty's death; fixed and static. But it's started to move and change, so that fixed fact is starting to become unmoored and reconsidered for him. Ehhhhxcellent.
-"I have to finish this." Yes you do, and you can start by rebooting your scenario to either run on the more accurate base assumption, or at least run without a base assumption taken as fact.
-"I'll be waiting."/"Yes. I'm very much afraid you will." Aw. Deep down, Sherlock knows his big brother gives a damn, even if he can only allow that it exists in the periphery, when he's not directly observing it. Aw.
-I see Sherlock is already practicing for his next life as a cosmic wizard.
-And it seems there's a bit of a draft. XD
-*squints* "Viscount Hummersknot Dead" Not only did this person lose the draw on who got the Viscount names that don't sound like a Roald Dahl bad guy, their death is also so unnotable that it and the bafflement Scotland Yard feels about it shows up in the classified ads above the *squints harder* 'Militia Competitive Examination' schedule. "Sordid end to brilliant career." Obviously not that brilliant or sordid or he'd have made it to an actual article somewhere closer to the front page. "Renowned peer victim of vitriol attack." Vitriol? So he got really angry and died? OH!!! OIL OF VITRIOL! THE STUFF THE WORD CAME FROM. HOLY CRAP. ALSO APPEARING IN THE ACD STORY THE "ILLUSTRIOUS CLIENT"! DID MARY (and possibly Kitty Winter who was in "His Last Vow" as the 'Richard Brook' reporter but really, Illustrious Client??? Kitty's gotta be involved!) TURN UP AND THROW VITRIOL IN THIS GUY'S FACE FOR ABUSING WOMEN AND BEING A WOMANISING CAD AND STALKER AND ALL-ROUND CREEP? Because that kind of asshat is right up the "Bride's" alley, judging from the victimology so far of men who are misogynistic jackasses in some way. That was an unexpected canon tie-in! *canon reference fistpump* Interesting... *ponders heavily*
-(If it is a league of women being 'the bride' and seeking retribution though, I don't think this method is going to be an effective plan in advancing equality. Fear is an effective motivator, but it usually motivates things for the worse.)
-"Two days he's been like that." I suppose since he's in his Mind Palace, visiting his Mind Palace inside his Mind Palace (*insert Inception BWONG noise here*) would not need to be interrupted by eating, sleeping or going to the loo.
-Aw, Mrs. Hudson's called in Lestrade. Awwwwwwwww.
-"Why d'you make [the reporters] tea?"/"I don't know. I just sort of do." HEEEEEE!! Well, at least Sherlock appreciates her tea-making abilities. Now actual Mrs. Hudson would have told them all to sod off, and if she did offer tea, it would be a kind that promoted frequent trips to the bathroom (at the very least) to get them to go away faster. But still nicely.
-"He said there’s only one suspect and then he just walks away, and now he won’t explain."/"Which is strange, because he likes that bit." HA!!! XD Okay, so, despite there being a ton of rational explanations for it not being Ricoletti's ghost, or even it being Ricoletti still alive, Sherlock's Mind Palace construct is not getting him where he needs to be, and he needs to recalibrate his base assumptions so he's stopped playing along with it. *nods* I think another sign of progress.
-"Said it was so simple even I could solve it."/"I'm sure he was exaggerating." Aw, poor Lestrade. Even Mrs Hudson doesn't respect his capabilities. Though given this is in Sherlock's head, his capabilities are probably impaired compared to actual Lestrade.
-"The Devil." OH. Well, yes, by all means, since he's just hanging about in the basement, let's let Sherlock's head!Moriarty out of the padded cell and throw him directly into the analysis. That ought to shift some paradigms in a hurry. O.o
-Yeah, that's in Sherlock's head too. Don't know how if it'd be any help though. Although, since this is his Mind Palace, perhaps it's a placeholder for bypassing the perceived evidence and changing his perception of impossible? Don't know.
-"Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind." HI MORIARTY! Nice repurposing of that quote too. Like 'don't know how you expect direct contact with the memories you have of me to help since you figure you've already thought of everything, but whatever'.
-"And possibly my answer has crossed yours."/"Like a bullet." Ha ha ha.
-"It's a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing gown, or are you just pleased to see me." Ah Moriarty, you depraved little turnip, I've missed you.
-"I’m sure you’ve acquainted yourself with them before now."/"Well, you are always away on your little adventures for the Strand." See, now. I find that quite disturbing. Because Sherlock knows Moriarty was in actual 221B before, not only did he invite him over for tea, Moriarty popped in on his own and hacked John's blog to post about it. Sadly the media of Moriarty creeping on the contents of 221B has gone 404 since, but anyway. Sherlock's not talking about real 221B. This is his Mind Palace, and this is the Moriarty he keeps locked away in the very bottom of it in a padded cell, chained up. THIS Moriarty is an element of Sherlock, in some way, and one he keeps tightly constrained. That a part of Sherlock's mental make-up that he keeps locked down might be not so constrained and be capable of leaking into other parts of Sherlock's memory and psychology is somewhat distressing. At least to me, but I'm a little odd like that.
-Six times. That he's aware of. Well that's nice. O.o
-Sherlock doesn't seem to think much of his head!Mrs Hudson's capacity to dust though.
-"By the way, you have a surprisingly comfortable bed." On one level that's far less disturbing than anything Magnussen did in 221B, and on the other hand, this being Sherlock's Mind Palace, and his bed being a repository of some subset of knowledge or memory in that setting, it's still very disturbing to have someone messing around in it uninvited. Even if that someone is another Mind Palace construct and a part of your own mental architecture. That you keep locked in a padded cell in your mental basement. Eeeeep.
-"Did you know that dust is largely made up of human skin?" Yeah, you've still got a long way to go before you out-creep Magnusson. Except... if Mind Palace Moriarty represents for Sherlock on some level aspects of his own psyche he'd rather repress than allow out, the kind of creepy 'ingestion at a distance' metaphor is a bit threatening, in a 'the parts of your mental make-up that you most fear want to ingest you and take over' sort of way. But I'm overthinking this VASTLY, I'm sure.
-"Doesn't taste the same though. You want your skin fresh. A little crispy." Hee. Hard to make shoes out of dust too, I suppose.
-Just in case anyone's forgotten why Sherlock has let his inner Moriarty loose. That pesky problem of being convinced he's dead, yet still running amok in London. For very limited values of amok unless there have been intervening Moriarty mayhems committed between the GIF attack and whenever Sherlock is doing this Mind Palace business. Can't be very long though, since the powers that be aren't likely to let Sherlock sit around Mind Palacing for days after cancelling his exile to stop Moriarty if Moriarty is out blowing up half the British Isles.
-Right, never mind, he's on the airport tarmac Mind Palace Macarena-ing and real Moriarty (or gif!Moriarty's transmission enabler) hasn't had a chance to do anything yet, because time flows differently in Sherlock's head. *facepalm*
-"D'you mind if I fire this? Just to clean it out?" Guns! Whee! It's a stand-off!
-A brief one. *examines image in mirror for meta*
-"You chose to come here."/"Not true. You know that's not true." Nope. Sherlock summoned him up to brainstorm the problem of how he could be alive.
-"There's only one thing in this whole business you find interesting." His face here just makes me giggle. Those eyebrows.
-"I know what you're doing." And Sherlock's whole Victorian Mind Palace world starts shaking. Paradigm shift? Let's hope so.
-"The Bride put the gun in her mouth and shot the back of her head off, and then she came back." Moriarty has some of the best faces.
-"You need to know how. How? It's tearing your world apart not knowing." Yep. These things happen when you take an assumption, make it an unassailable fact and build a world on top of it.
-"Because doesn't this remind you of another case?" *facepalm* Is Sherlock still so lost in his own head that he's totally forgotten what he's here for? Seems like. *headdesk* Well, in his defense, this is close after he got exiled. He's still processing a lot of stuff, like how he flat-out murdered a guy to protect John and Mary, then pretty much figured he was going on a suicide mission and would never see them again. That sort of thing tends to throw off your capacity to think straight and not get sucked into a non-productive Victorian rabbit-hole-slash-hamster wheel in your brain.
-"It's on the tip of my tongue." Hee. Even Sherlock's head!Moriarty likes being a troll.
-"For the sake of Mrs Hudson’s wallpaper, I must remind you that one false move with your finger and you will be dead." Oooo, the way he says dead. Still can't not believe what he thinks he saw himself. Didn't you learn anything from the Hound, Sherlock? Perceptions can be deceiving.
-"Dead is the new sexy." HA. And now we've brought Irene in via reference. Since she also had Sherlock convinced he'd seen her dead body at one point, and yet she's still alive. Chipping away at the baseline assumption of this construct from another angle. *nods*
(Meanwhile on the soundtrack, all the stringed instruments have gone straight to Hell, which I am assuming means Moriarty is about to ventilate his brain again, or at least appear to. *turns volume down in anticipation of loud sudden noises*)
-Or Sherlock's Mind Palace world is going to fall apart. Either or.
-Or both. One leading to the other. Hard to say.
-Hm. Angle's a bit off from the side.
-That's a good point as well. The sun was in Sherlock's eyes at the time, wasn't it? * checks* No, it seems to have been in Moriarty's eyes. Hm
-Bang and spray of blood. And up pops Moriarty like toast. Deranged, murderous, psychopathic toast.
-"Well, I’ll tell you what, that rather blows the cobwebs away." Yeah, it could do. A brisk walk and a cup of coffee is usually more survivable though. XD
-"How can you be alive?" And we FINALLY get to the actual purpose of Sherlock's Victorian Mind Palace subroutine. It's been a bit like Deep Thought coming up with the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything, but he got there eventually. *pats Sherlock*
-Oh and nice soundtrack callback to the roof. Very nice. *claps*
-*big squishy hole in the back of Moriarty's head* Not capping that. Ew. It's too dark anyway. Loos like some part of Sherlock is still filling in a presumed reality though. He'll get past that soon.
-"You can be honest. Is it noticeable?" Hehe. Only if that's the way he wants it perceived. It only shows from certain angles. Otherwise he looks as normal as Moriarty ever does. Seems to be all about angles and perspective suddenly. *ponders significantly*
-"Maybe I could back-comb." Pfffft!
-"I saw you die. Why aren't you dead?" Meanwhile, Sherlock is still blowing his boggle check. I'm actually quite stunned his Victorian construct-world hasn't crumbled around them to a blank white room by now. I suppose though that Sherlock has all this mental investment in working the case of Moriarty's return built into this overwrought tangle of thought, building off the assumption of Moriarty's death as fact, and on some level he figures it's better to keep it running and change the baseline assumption than shatter it and start over. Kind of like trying to upgrade your operating system while trying to render a complicated graphic though, I would think. Which of course means mayhem! \o/ And possibly zombies! \o/
-"It's not the fall that kills you. It's never the fall." It's the sudden stop at the end? How does that apply?
-"It's the landing!" With a great crazy-face from Moriarty.
SO. In his case, it's not the bullet that would have killed him, it's the impact of the bullet, and so, the bullet didn't impact, or at least didn't impact anywhere not survivable ( lot of that going around lately...)... hm. Is my theory about a blank and a blood bag and squib back in 2012 correct? Or did Moriarty shoot past his own head, which would still need a blood bag and squib since I really doubt Moriarty would be willing to risk his aim and try to crease his own scalp with a bullet. He might get a scar! Still. If it turns out any of this is correct, I might reserve the right to be insufferably smug.
-And now everything's going to shake itself apart as Sherlock's baseline truth shifts to a questionable possibility. Really, he should at least do this with a soft reboot. Come out of the Mind Palace for a couple minutes, grab a sandwich, go pee, whatever, then get back in once everything's shifted around the new core.
-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH He's not even on the tarmac. HE'S STILL ON THE GOD DAMNED PLANE!!! XD
-HI REAL JOHN AND MARY!!! I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! STILL STANDING ON THE TARMAC WATCHING SHERLOCK'S PLANE COME BACK A FEW MINUTES AFTER MORIARTY'S GIF ATTACK. No problems meshing this up between Series 3 and 4 continuity then. This whole episode is literally like an extended end credits scene for "His Last Vow", isn't it? XD
-...sigh. "It's the landing." And the plane is landing. Ha ha ha. *facepalm*
-"No, no, no, not now!" Yeah, don't interrupt him when he's Mind Palacing and finally getting somewhere. Sherlock needs a 'do not disturb' sign.
-"I trust you had a pleasant flight, sir?" Firstly, Ahahahahah, it's Lady Carmichael, what's her name, with the hedge maze and the dead husband, (I think, anyway?), and secondly, he WAS originally being flown off to exile and a suicide mission, so 'pleasant' may not be the best word. Though, to be fair, the flight ended in him not actually going off on a mission to die in whereverthehell in six months time, so, yeah, maybe pleasant is the right word after all! \o/
-Ah yes, sometimes when you are suddenly awoken, half your mind stays stuck in 1895 (or whenever, have they said?) with your undead arch-nemesis, and the processors bog severely. This is why there's coffee! \o/
-"I have to go back!"/"What?" Really, making Sherlock have to deal with Mycroft while he's still half-aware of reality is unfair. Although if all this Moriarty's return business was in any way engineered by Mycroft to end Sherlock's exile, as I have at various points suspected, he really deserves that moment of boggle.
-"Ricoletti and his abominable wife, don't you understand?"/"Of course we don't, you're not making any sense Sherlock." Ahahahah, yes, this is a problem you run into when there you have head-versions of the real people in your life. There is an appalling lack of communication between the ones in your head and the real ones. Probably for the best though, that.
-"It was a case, a famous one, from a hundred years ago." Ohhhh, that explains the Victorian setting. Here I thought Sherlock had his Mind Palace barking so far up the wrong tree that it jumped eras.
-Have I said I love Mary's coat? I love Mary's coat.
-"It's been five minutes since Mycroft called. What progress have you made, what have you been doing?" Heee! Though Mycroft has probably been running his own analysis ((or running the logistics of the whole 'Moriarty's Return' ruse to bring his baby brother home) though he has been rather quiet since Ricoletti was mentioned...), John and Mary are Watsons. They've been waiting to find out which asses to kick first.
-"How would I have solved the crime if I had been there in 1895?" AHA! THOUGHT SO. Moffatt and Gatiss are too big of fans of ACD and Holmes lore not to set the Victorian parts of this in 1895, even with their other nod to it on John's blog counter.
-"Oh Sherlock." And Mycroft turns away. Ha. Well. I was about to say that Mycroft looked a little too concerned about what Sherlock's been investigating in his Mind Palace, but that's a pretty definite... something. The same kind of 'oh Sherlock' he got for shooting Magnussen. So. Hunh. The case for Mycroft masterminding Moriarty's "return" to end Sherlock's exile seems to be gaining ground, because if Sherlock figures out that it's Mycroft, there's no need to keep him back from exile, and Mycroft will lose him to the suicide mission. Hmmmmmmmm. Of course I am quite probably entirely wrong on that, but that was an interesting 'oh Sherlock' from Mycroft, and it bears pondering. *ponders*
-And the sitting bears pondering too. That is not the sitting of a man who is invested in a mystery being solved. That is the sitting of a man with secrets and guilt. And a new umbrella? Nope, same umbrella.
-"You've been reading John's blog, The story of how you met." AWWWWWWWWW!!!! AS HE WAS GOING OFF INTO EXILE AND PROBABLY NEVER SEEING HIS BEST FRIEND AGAIN HE WAS RE-READING HOW THEY FIRST MET AND AAAAAAAAAA! That's adorable. Mary thinks so too. Look at that face. Mary has this amazing face you guys. It ought to be appreciated more.
-"It helps if I see myself through his eyes sometimes." You'll have to excuse me, I have just exploded slightly from best friends squee. EEEEEE! Right, better now.
-AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
-"I'm so much cleverer." I CAN'T AWWWW ANY HARDER HERE!!!!
-"You really think anyone's believing you?" Hm, now there's an interesting statement on the situation from Mycroft. He can't think Sherlock's got into the drugs again. Sherlock's been under guard the whole time. Hm. Some reason for wanting your brother to doubt himself there, Mycroft?
-"I've seen it, the Mind Palace, it's like a whole world in his head." And John believes in it strongly enough that he would rely on it to turn up instructions on defusing a bomb they were about to be blown up by. Because it's got nothing to do with the Mind Palace, really. John Watson believes in Sherlock Holmes. *smishes them both* (John's face did a silly, it just paused like this, I swear.)
-"A Mind Palace is a memory technique. I know what it can do and I know what it most certainly cannot." Call me paranoid, but Mycroft's over-investment in casting doubt on anything Sherlock might come up with from his Mind Palace subroutine is something I find highly suspect.
-"Maybe there are one or two things that I know, that you don't." Well, Sherlock did canonically spend time in Tibet, so there could be a whole hell of a lot of things Sherlock knows that Mycroft doesn't. (Oh the crossovers are going to be fascinating.)
-"Oh there are." Oh, well, let's just admit everything, shall we Mycroft? Seriously, is Moriarty's return actually all a trick orchestrated by Mycroft? Or what else is he hiding? Seriously... hey. They had a big production planned for faking Sherlock's death. They had 13 of them. Did Mycroft help Moriarty fake his death too??? O.o
-"Did you make a list?" With a little muted depth charge noise. EEE! Like in the Mind Palace. Wait. WAIT. ARE WE STILL IN THE MIND PALACE??? O.O FFFFF.
-"You've put on weight." Uh, not helping with the localizing of reality here... O.O
-"Stop this. Just stop it! Did you make a list?" OKAY, MYCROFT IS KINDA FREAKING ME OUT NOW. O.O
-"Of what?"/"Everything, Sherlock, everything you've taken." ...Really, Mycroft? You think he's had a chance since being incarcerated to do drugs? That really doesn't seem sensible for Mycroft. Though... it does keep on casting doubt and distraction on anything Sherlock might come out with... Mycroft keeps doing these things that make me suspect I'm right about him faking Moriarty's return. It really is making me a bit nervous. O.o
-"He goes into a sort of trance, I've seen him do it." Grinning all over from John backing up Sherlock on the Mind Palace.
-What, there's a list of drugs he's taken? Really? How?? WHEN??? He's been under guard! O.o
-Oh dear. That's not a good look from John. :-/
-"We have an agreement, my brother and I, ever since that day." Oh god, this is going to be some painful drug backstory, isn't it? :-(
-Yep.
-"Wherever I find him, whatever back-alley or doss house, there'll always be a list." Well. I guess all things considered, that's a good practice, so if there's a medical emergency or an OD, they know what to avoid adding to the mix, but. *sigh* I'm not a fan of the tendency of some reiterations of Holmes, particularly recent ones, to focus on the drug use mentioned sporadically in the original books, written back when opium use was about as socially acceptable as smoking is today (even though Watson was against it as a sensible doctor), so the context was very different. But that's my personal issue. Moving on now.
-"He couldn't have taken all that in the last five minutes." Or the last however long it's been since he was incarcerated for killing Magnussen, since I'm sure he was thoroughly searched given his history, and not left in the general prison population or out from under watch where he could have gotten access to any supply. Which would have been at least 12 hours, plus some for Mycroft talking over the situation with Lady Smallwood and the council of suits, etc. So. If he took drugs, how'd he get them? *stares grimly at Mycroft*
-"He was high before he got on the plane."/"Didn't seem high." I agree with Mary (what's on her phone that's so fascinating?), who ought to have a better idea of what a person on a shit-ton of drugs looks and behaves like due to her shadowy background, not to mention training as a nurse. John could be blinded by his belief in Sherlock, but Mary can 'tell when he's fibbing'. And also, again, Sherlock has been under guard, searched, and without access to drugs for at least 12 hours, if not more like 36. How long was he incarcerated before they decided on this exile business? Did they say? I forget.
-"For god's sake, this could kill you! You could die!" John, as always, has one priority: Sherlock's continued existence. Good Watson.
-"Not usually fatal" is not as reassuring a statement as you might think, Sherlock.
-"Amelia Ricoletti, I'm looking her up." Oh good, someone's on the case. Mary's a good Watson too.
-"I have access to the top level of the MI5 archives-"/"Yep. That's where I'm looking." Heeeeee! Go Mary! \o/
-"What do you think of MI5 security?"/"I think it would be a good idea." Please can we keep Mary forever? Mycroft's sense of omniscience needs a good sporking now and then.
-"Yapping? Sorry, did we interrupt your 'session'?" Ooo, that's a look that has a throttling behind it. Again. Some more.
-"Sherlock, listen to me."/"No. It only encourages you."/"I’m not angry with you-"/"Oh, that’s a relief. I was really worried. No, hold on, I really wasn’t." Ah, brotherly snark, lovely. :-)
-"I was there for you before, I’ll be there for you again. I’ll always be there for you." On one hand BROTHERY SCHMOOP. On the other hand oh ho ho. Mycroft is REALLY not helping dissuade me from the 'Mycroft faked Moriarty's return and/or death' theory, particularly because of the half spinny camera angle of sudden change of perspective on Sherlock, and partly because Mycroft is making an emotional statement of brotherly love (or something) without benefit of spiked Christmas punch, and him being Mycroft and Mycroft knowing his brother gets a little set off-balance by displays of emotional stuff and whatnot, this is now feeling a little like he's confessing to bringing back Moriarty/faking Moriarty's death outright, but doing so in a way that Sherlock will be off-balanced by and may not get the entire gist as it is washed away by the sheer horror of 'oh god, Mycroft is having feelings at me, make him stop!' *breathes* I mean, it's all just a theory, but it keeps getting these little bits that seem to support it, so now I really am wondering.
-"I'll always be there for you." Oh and there's some Mind Palace math going on with that little bit of heartfelt confession/misdirection thrown into the mix now, isn't there?
-"This was my fault." Meep! O.O
-"It was nothing to do with you." And yet there's some kind of mental recalibration going on there...
-"A week in a prison cell, I should have realized."/"Realized what?" That there's no way Sherlock could have access to drugs if he's been in prison for a week? He did say at the end of His Last Vow that they were keeping Sherlock out of the general prison population, and he would have been closely watched, so if Sherlock is high, where the hell did he get the drugs from??? It's a plot hole. List be damned. Anyone can write a list. Sherlock is perfectly capable of writing a list of drugs when he had no access to drugs, for whatever purpose having Mycroft and everyone doubting his word might serve. Or maybe it's actually a secret code they worked out for some reason when they were younger. Or something. *handwave*
-"That in your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy." Ahahahahha. True, and in general, also true. And also OW. And also, Mycroft Holmes, Mummy Holmes is going to smack your backside with a slipper for locking your baby brother in a cement closet for a week, never mind who he killed.
-"Morphine or cocaine?" says John offscreen. You've got the list, John, they're probably both on there. Unless this jet has a really unusual in-flight drugs trolley service (which would in fact explain how Sherlock got the drugs) that's being run by someone who sounds like John. On a government plane... which really doesn't do much to rule it out actually.
-"I didn't say anything." OH. WELL. WE'RE STILL IN THE MIND PALACE, JUST TAKING A BREAK IN 2014 (or whenever) TO PICK UP A BIT OF PERSPECTIVE, AREN'T WE? In that case *handwaves everything*
-Sherlock lip-syncing to John's voice is unusually disturbing.
-"Answer me, damn it!" YEP. And now your head!Watson can give you hell about the drugs too. Or rather again. Still. FFFFF, WHAT IS REALITY ANYMORE!?
-"I was on a jet."/"A what?" Yes, the perfect thing to do to convince your physician flatmate you haven't been abusing drugs and are on the floor for perfectly rational reasons is to start speaking nonsense. *googles history of the word 'jet'* A spurt or gush of water, or a kind of stone. Yeah, that's not going to get very far in the making sense department.
-"A seven percent solution." Of course.
-"Would you like to try it?"/"No. But I would quite like to find every ounce of the stuff in your possession and pour it out of the window." Ah, there's my Watson. A little anachronistic for the attitudes of Victorian times, but Watson was a little ahead of the popular opinion on recreational drugs in the original books too.
-"Then you would be reminded quite forcibly which of us is a soldier and which of us is a drug addict." *grins* Yes, Watson will beat the crap out of you to save you from yourself if he has to, Sherlock.
-"I'm an Army doctor which means I could break every bone in your body while naming them." Or just sprain them if he's feeling charitable. :-)
-"Never on a case. You promised me. Never on a case."/"No, I just said that in one of your stories." Now, is that in a story his head!Watson wrote, or in John's blog? Either way, this argument happening in Sherlock's Mind Palace construct takes on a different skew, though I'm not sure quite what to make of it.
-"Listen. I’m happy to play the fool for you. I will run along behind you like some halfwit making you look clever if that’s what you need. But dear God above, you will hold yourself to a higher standard!" Hehe. While I don't doubt actual John would say much the same thing, the fact that this is the Watson in Sherlock's head is kind of touching? Because it's not John saying this, it's part of Sherlock. It's the part of Sherlock that knows he can be a stronger person and a better person, and wants him to live up to the image John has of him, as dented as he's managed to make that image with the whole pretending to be dead bit. He wants to be the person John sees him as. And so an image of John is the one calling him on his behaviour, where perhaps previously, it would have been his head!Mycroft nagging him and shaming him and reverting him to being a child, as seen in His Last Vow's sojourn in the Mind Palace, which he would be more inclined to reject or rebel against. He wants to be a better person, so consciously or unconsciously he is letting the image of John help him become a better person by occasionally threatening to break every bone in his body in an anatomically correct manner.
-"Why? Because of your idiot stories?"/"Yes, because of my idiot stories." *nods* Though again, since these stories are the ones Sherlock's Head!Watson writes about him that recreate him as a hero, what role are they playing in his psychological self-reflection? They're stories the part of him that wants him to be better makes up about him... I have too much of a headache already to go down that particular rabbit hole.
-When opening a telegram causes the tuba section to go into high gear, you know something is up.
-"It's Mary." Eep? They didn't injure the Bride when they last saw her, did they? Because I think at least one of the women running around in wedding dresses and killing jerks is probably Mary. Who is doing it because Mycroft asked? For Queen and country? ...I don't know, this is all in Sherlock's head, so as I mentioned earlier, it could still be working through a bit of subconscious 'Mary shot me' issues.
-"It's entirely possible she's in danger." Well crap! What's Mycroft gotten her into? O.o
-"I'm sure she's just visiting with friends." *facepalm* Right. For some reason, Sherlock's head-Watson also has to be representative of the Victorian male attitude toward women. Likely something for the cold case of Amelia Ricoletti, still not sure how it helps the Moriarty computations though.
-"Come on!" Sherlock getting shouty because Mary's in danger makes me weirdly happy, though I suspect she's in danger in a way that's going to look really bad, at least on the surface if not all the way down to 'oh by the way I was an assassin for years before you met me' levels.
-"Are you even in a fit state?"/"For Mary of course. Never doubt that, Watson, never that." *flappy haaaaands* Okay, so maybe he isn't doubting Mary's reasons for shooting him after all!
-And then he uncappably half collapses and I start to wonder about the effect of cocaine on blood pressure and the advisability of combining that with sudden news about a friend in danger and running down a flight of stairs, even though he's only taken it in his Mind Palace (maybe) so... Hm... He's still slightly unbalanced? Nothing new there then! :-)
-"You're Sherlock Holmes, wear the damn hat." Hahahahahaha XD
Continued in...
PART FOUR
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR RUMOURS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION FOR SERIES 4 OF SHERLOCK IN COMMENTS)