And now my mother knows I'm sick.

[cadhla]

Yesterday, I did something exceedingly difficult that I'd been putting off for as long as I possibly could, because I simply didn't want to deal

Comments

[bardling]

That's what courage is - being scared, not wanting to do it, but doing the necessary anyway. *hug*

I hear you. I think of you. I'm sending love.
You've people to be scared at, scared with, scared on... be as scared as you need to, just don't loose the hope and belief that it can go well for you. You're strong, you'll cope with the pain. We're rooting for you & for it to go well. And we're here to listen, to hug, to send love.
*morehugs*

[wendyzski]

I know it makes you feel scared and helpless. But you are actually NOT helpless - you and various doctors are going to DO SOMETHING about it. Not just sit there and be in pain. Scared maybe, helpless not really.

And Moms are like that. My baby brother (a rich investment guy in CA, married with baby #1 due soon) gets 3 visits a year sometimes. Me - not seen my mom since his wedding 3 yrs ago. Guess she doesnt like the idea that all she's getting from me are grand-bunnies.

[technoshaman]

And all she heard was 'my daughter is sick and I can't do a damn thing about it'.

And you know what? Part of that is as it should be. You're on your own now; you've got people you've chosen to be there for you, who want to be there and who won't give you grief about it.

And part of that is totally FUBAR'ed, and someday you may have to decide just exactly what you want to do about it, but not today...

Today you can just vent at us and reach for hugs and concentrate on having the best day you can, knowing we're there for you. It's ok to be scared, because, well, it's scary... but you don't have to be alone. And you don't have to take soggy potato chips either.

[tamena]

hun, you're not sick, you're broken. Broken can be fixed...
it may take time and there's effort involved on your part, but broken implies that it can be fixed.

*huge gentle hugs*

[kyburg]

There were a lot of people I simply stopped talking to, because the first thing they'd want to know was "how are you

[emberleo]

There were a lot of people I simply stopped talking to, because the first thing they'd want to know was "how are you?"

And I had nothing - for a very very long time - good to offer. And I hate lying. It's work. It bordered on shame. I felt like I burdened anyone I told the truth to, it was that horrible. (The shocked faces. The blanching. The long silences. Oh, I remember.)

This is a non-sequiture, but thank you for it. It's the other side of something I'm dealing with right now, and the change of perspective is very helpful.

--Ember--

[idancewithlife]

A long time ago, when I was facing, for the first time, the upcoming death of a good friend, I asked the death and dying counselor, in tears--"How can I keep calling him and asking, "How are you?" How he is is dying." This wonderful man gave me a tip I've tried to use ever since: When I know someone is having hard times of what ever kind, instead of asking how they are, I say something more neutral: "I was thinking of you and decided to call." Or, "It's nice to see you again." That leaves them more free to share with me, or not, what they want to tell me about what's going on with them. I've been through some serious illnesses myself, and (as Seanan mentioned here)sometimes you don't have the energy or desire to tell people who care about you (or are just curious) what's happening now. But it can take a lot of perseverance to just say, "Things are going as well as expected--thanks for asking" and then change the subject.