What have you done? [Part One, Ch.5/?]
Title: What have you done? [Part One, Ch.5/?]
Author: cablackwood
Pair: Kyuhyun x Donghae
Rating: PG-13 (for mentions of drug use)
Genre: I don’t really know what to call it but I believe mystery/suspense, angst (in the future) and slight crack will cover it
Words: 4,411
Summary: Kyuhyun has developed a different addiction and Donghae wants to know what it is. But Kyuhyun hasn't told him. He hasn't told anyone for that matter. He has been sneaking out late at night and staying out until the wee hours. Only one other person knows and that is the person who introduced him to it. This new addiction is dangerous but Kyuhyun doesn't care. As long as he gets his fix he could care less. But this new addiction will cause the lives of Super Junior to change, some more than others.
“A deal?”
“Mhm.” Donghae eyes began to fall. He knew that their conversation was going to end soon, with him falling asleep. “I saw the guy he was with give him a note of some kind.” Donghae paused to yawn, “I tried to get the note, but Kyuhyun stuck it in his jeans pocket. I noticed him pull it out when he got home, but he never put it down. He kept it with him at all times.” The words were slowly starting to trail off as sleep started to creep in.
Donghae closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Kyuhyun pulled the needle out of his arm and dropped it to the floor. He leaned back and sighed in contentment. It had been days since the last time he got his high, so he was a little more than deprived and it drove him crazy. The only reason why he had been clean for those few days was because his dealer had told him he was out and he needed time before he could get him anymore. He had suggested Kyuhyun go to one of his partners. He said that they might have some. The demand for drugs was getting higher and higher these days and dealers were suddenly finding themselves sending some of their more dedicated buyers to another dealer, whom they could trust.
For the better part of a day, Kyuhyun spent his time trying to decide whether or not he should go to the person his dealer had mentioned. Kyuhyun trusted him and he knew that he wouldn’t send him to just anyone. So he knew this guy must be good, as well as his product. But he didn’t know whether or not he could trust the new guy. Kyuhyun was famous after all and he didn’t know whether or not he could keep Kyuhyun being a druggie a secret. So Kyuhyun decided to wait for his dealer to get more product before he would buy.
Those few days were agonizing. For hours during the day, Kyuhyun felt a pain in his whole body, a pain he couldn’t describe. There were no words to describe it. Multiple times, Kyuhyun found himself in the bathroom with his head in the toilet with a fine sheen of sweat covering his entire body. Shivers would wrack his body for hours while he lay in bed, trying to will himself to sleep, thinking that maybe sleep would take the pain away. It never really did. Once he would drift off to sleep, he would have pain filled dreams and would wake breathing heavily, shaking, and sweat running down his body.
He tried to take pain killers but they did nothing. First, he thought that maybe he could substitute them for his normal everyday drug use, but he found out that they were not strong enough for him and he would still be wracked with pain.
On the third day of him being drugless, Kyuhyun received a text message telling him were to go. Kyuhyun jumped up from where he was and didn’t notice, nor would care if he did, the looks that were shot in his direction when he burst out the door and ran out to the elevator, with his shoes in his hands.
Kyuhyun sat in an alley somewhere in Seoul, ridding out his high, his dealer sitting next to him.
“So, what do you think? Is it as good as the last stuff?” He asked, picking up the needle and sticking it back in his bag. He had come across this new product and thought that he could sell it. But he had to know if it was good enough. So he called Kyuhyun up to see what he thought about it. He had been deprived of drugs long enough, he could tell, and would be willing to try anything if he got his high.
Kyuhyun sat back and looked up to the sky. He never really noticed before just how beautiful the stars were, or at least what little stars that could be seen in the city.
One star caught his eye and he focused on it. The star twinkled brightly and it brought a smile to Kyuhyun’s face. It looked so happy up there in the sky, gracing the universe with its beauty. It started to move around in Kyuhyun’s vision. It was dancing. Kyuhyun briefly thought that he was dancing for him. Since, he was the only one around appreciating its lovely beauty and twinklyness.
Kyuhyun was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard someone talking to him from his side.
He looked over and saw that the man was shinning like the star he was admiring just a moment ago. Maybe this new product made everything shinny and beautiful, which was defiantly different than the last one.
Kyuhyun nodded his head slowly, as if he was half paying attention to him.
The dealer watched as he Kyuhyun turned his attention back to the sky and saw a smile spread across his face. Kyuhyun never really smiled when he was high. He would just sigh and sit back and enjoy the ride. But if Kyuhyun was smiling then it must be good.
Curiosity got the better of him, and he had to know what KH was seeing to make him smile so big.
“Kyuhyun, what are you seeing?”
The dealer’s voice came from far away as he watched the little star do a flip in the sky and land on his feet. Kyuhyun laughed and clapped his hands together, applauding his little entertainer. Maybe he should bring him back to the dorms and he could be the new member of Super Junior. He was sure the others would love him. He was brilliant.
“Dancing stars,” He answered.
The dealer looked up to the sky and saw nothing of that nature. Then again, he couldn’t see any stars. He wasn’t high so he was sure that he wouldn’t. Maybe when he got home he would try this new stuff out on his own. He couldn’t do it with Kyuhyun. He had to watch him and make sure that he didn’t do anything that would draw attention to the young singer. So, he would end up staying with him until he came off of his high, which was usually three hours later from when he took it.
Kyuhyun eventually came off his high, but not before he applauded his star for another great performance and bid him farewell. He would have to come back and see his next performance. He was a talented little thing.
His dealer saw that he was coming of the drugs, so he lifted him to his feet and slung one of Kyuhyun’s arms over his shoulder and placed his own arm around his waist. He walked Kyuhyun back towards his dorm. He would drop him off five blocks away from the actual building and let Kyuhyun go the rest of the way himself. He knew Kyuhyun could make it that far by himself. He always did. Except for that one time when he had taken a bad batch of a new product he had found. That time, he had to stay with him until the sun started to come up, staying with him as he emptied his stomach into whatever trash can that was near them. That night, he had to take Kyuhyun all the way up to his dorm, but he let Kyuhyun go inside alone. He couldn’t be seen inside.
Just as Kyuhyun and the dealer parted, the dealer turned back around and called for Kyuhyun.
“So, this stuff was good?” He wanted to make sure before he sold it to more people. He didn’t want to be known for his bad drugs.
“Yes,” was all Kyuhyun said as he began to walk back to his building.
Kyuhyun got back to the dorms safely without anyone spotting him and he entered his room just as quietly as he does every night. He climbed into his bed and gladly welcomed the sleep that took him the moment his head touched the pillow.
Slowly opening his eyes, Donghae looked over and saw that KH was sleeping in his bed. One thought drifting to his mind.
Kyuhyun’s doing drugs.
Kyuhyun wasn’t an assassin, he was a druggie. Yes it was all just a dream, but what else could it be? He couldn’t come up with anything else and drugs just suddenly fit. Donghae looked over at his dongsaeng with sad eyes. Oh, Kyuhyun. How could you do drugs?
Donghae drifted back off to sleep while a single tear ran down his cheek.
The next morning, Donghae walked into the kitchen with his hands behind his back. Leeteuk, Sungmin, and Ryeowook were in the main room watching TV; each had a bowl of cereal in their hands, still in their pajamas. Eunhyuk was probably still in his room sleeping. Kyuhyun was in the kitchen fixing himself a bowl, most likely to join the others. But before that, Donghae had to talk to him for a second.
Kyuhyun turned around with his bowl of cereal in his hands. He paused when he saw Donghae standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
He smiled at his hyung, “Morning Donghae.”
Without saying anything, Donghae brought one of his hands out from behind his back and held it up to Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun eyed the cup that was in Donghae’s hand.
“Kyuhyun, I need for you to pee into this cup.”
From the main room, Leeteuk spat out what was in his mouth and coughed. Ryeowook looked towards the kitchen with wide eyes and Sungmin dropped the spoon that was in his hand and it landed into the bowl with a loud clatter.
Kyuhyun, himself, stood wide eyed at Donghae and nearly dropped his bowl in the floor.
“What? You need me to do what, again?” He asked, his voice rising a little.
“I need you to pee into this cup.” He said again with a serious face.
Kyuhyun nodded slowly and set his bowl on the table, before he could drop it. The members that were in the living room had gotten themselves together and were standing behind Donghae, looking at the back of his head like he was a crazy person.
“Why?” Kyuhyun had heard some of Donghae’s crazy and silly requests before -one of them being that they needed to wear tin foil hats while they had dance practice - but this was definitely one of the weirdest ones Kyuhyun had ever heard from him.
Donghae walked towards Kyuhyun, the cup still in his hand and still outstretched towards Kyuhyun.
“I need to have your pee tested for drugs.”
There were a couple sniggers behind Donghae and one choked breath. Kyuhyun just looked at his hyung, his brows furrowed in confusion.
Kyuhyun looked up from where he was sitting at the table into Donghae’s eyes. He saw that he was serious. Donghae actually wanted Kyuhyun to pee into that cup, which was still in Donghae’s hand.
Kyuhyun smirked, “Are you going to hold the cup for me or do I get to do that myself?”
Donghae narrowed his eyes at his roommate. Kyuhyun would make a joke out of this. Getting annoyed that Kyuhyun wasn’t taking the cup, he pulled Kyuhyun’s hand off the table and place the cup in his hands.
“And I want it now.” He pulled Kyuhyun up from the seat and dragged him to the bathroom. Once inside, Donghae closed the door and leaned up against it with his arms crossed.
Kyuhyun looked down at the cup in his hand, “Hyung, this is silly.”
Getting angry that Kyuhyun wasn’t doing what he was told; Donghae pushed himself off of the door and walked over to Kyuhyun. Taking the cup in his hand, Donghae pulled Kyuhyun’s pants down.
“Yah! Hyung! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kyuhyun shouted, trying to pull his pants back up. But every time Kyuhyun and gotten a grip of them, Donghae would pull them back down.
At that moment, Eunhyuk walked in the bathroom, rubbing his eyes, he paused when he saw that Kyuhyun and Donghae were in there. Donghae and Kyuhyun froze, looking at the door.
Eunhyuk’s eyes widened when he saw that Kyuhyun had his pants down and Donghae had his hand a little below Kyuhyun’s shirt, looking much like they were doing something that Eunhyuk had seen many times on the adult films that he watched. Eunhyuk looked at Kyuhyun’s face and saw that it was rather red and he saw that Donghae had an annoyed looked on his face. Backing out of the room, Eunhyuk raised his hands, as if in surrender, and left the room, not bothering to close the door.
Kyuhyun backed away from Donghae while he was distracted and pulled his pants up. He kept a good hold on them and walked to the door. Donghae caught his wrist and pulled him back, slamming the door shut with his foot.
“You’re not leaving here until you give me what I want.”
“Which is my urine,” Kyuhyun said, tightening his hold on his pants.
“Yes,” Donghae nodded, “Now, drop your pants and fill this cup.” He lifted the cup until it was in Kyuhyun’s eye sight.
“Hyung, I’m not doing that.”
Donghae’s eyes narrowed. “Why not? Got something to hide?”
Kyuhyun laughed dryly. “No, you have no need for it.” Kyuhyun shoved Donghae back and opened the door and ran out. Donghae was NOT going to give up that easily so he ran after Kyuhyun.
Leeteuk, Sungmin, and Ryeowook were seated back in their spots and were watching TV just as Kyuhyun ran past the TV, his hands keeping a tight hold in his pants, with Donghae chasing after him. They all followed them with their eyes. This kinda thing was too early to be happening in the dorms.
Kyuhyun ran inside their room and was about to shut the door when Donghae pushed inside and tackled Kyuhyun to the floor. Kyuhyun landed with a loud thud and an ‘oof.’ Donghae pinned Kyuhyun’s wrists to the floor and trapped Kyuhyun with his body.
“Hyung, what the hell!?” Chasing Kyuhyun down for urine was weird, even for Donghae. And, to be honest, it was freaking Kyuhyun out just a little bit.
“Pee in the cup and I’ll let you go.” He growled.
He loved his dongsaeng and was upset and scared that Kyuhyun would even consider doing drugs. So the fact that he was refusing to give him what he wanted so he could make sure, was making him think that was actually doing drugs. And he was going to test him and detox him if it was the last thing he ever did. No friend of his was going to be a druggie.
Kyuhyun groaned.
“Why are you refusing to get tested?” Donghae asked a little saddened.
“Because there is nothing to test for.” Kyuhyun answered, looking up at Donghae’s sadden eyes.
“Donghae, have you seen my -“ Eunhyuk walked into the room. The couple on the floor looked up to see Eunhyuk staring at them. His eyes widened for the second time in the past five minutes. And, just like he had done earlier, Eunhyuk raised his hands and backed out of the room.
Forgetting about Eunhyuk, Donghae turned his attention back to Kyuhyun.
“Drugs, Kyuhyunnie.” Donghae said slowly. “I’m going to have you tested for drugs.”
“What makes you think I’m doing drugs?” This was right up there with Donghae thinking that he was an assassin.
Donghae sighed, “You’ve been sneaking out at night, you’re grumpier than normal,” that could be because the lack of sleep, “you’ve been less focused lately, you’ve been jittery, you’re not eating right, and I know you’re hiding something.”
“And all of that points to me doing drugs?”
Shit! Donghae was noticing more than Kyuhyun thought. And by the way Donghae was acting, even if he wasn’t trying to get him to pee into a cup, it seemed that Kyuhyun had been worrying him for some time now. Kyuhyun kept his face composed while he looked up into Donghae’s eyes.
“What else could it be?” Donghae begged more than asked. He was kinda hopping that maybe he would tell him out flat what he was doing. Or maybe just give him some sort of clue as to what he has been up to.
Closing his eyes, Kyuhyun sighed. Fine, I give up. He opened his eyes and saw that Donghae was actually waiting for an answer.
“Fine, I’ll tell you, but first can you get off of me?”
Donghae’s eyes lit up and he gladly jumped off of Kyuhyun and helped him sit up. They stayed seated on the floor. Donghae sat in front of Kyuhyun, he hands crossed and in his lap, waiting for Kyuhyun to talk, with a look that reminded Kyuhyun of a little kid waiting to hear a bedtime story.
“I’m not doing drugs,” Kyuhyun started, looking down at his hands, “I…I’m…” Kyuhyun paused and swallowed. He didn’t know how hard this was going to be.
Donghae leaned forward and placed a hand on top of Kyuhyun’s, gripping it tightly in his. “Kyuhyun, what is it? You can tell me.”
Kyuhyun looked up with blank eyes. “Hyung…I’m pregnant.” And he smirked.
Donghae narrowed his eyes and yanked his hand back. He lifted it up and slapped Kyuhyun on the chest multiple times.
“This…is…NOT…a…joke!” He said in between slaps. Even though Donghae was slapping him on the chest, Kyuhyun couldn’t help but laugh. He’s been worrying about his roommate, wondering if he was doing something dangerous, the possibility of getting himself killed, and Kyuhyun was making a JOKE out of this!
Kyuhyun grabbed Donghae’s hands to stop him from hitting him, which was starting to get a little painful.
“Hyung, it kinda is. First, you think I’m an assassin, which would be kinda cool don’t you think? Next you think I’m doing drugs and you chase me down asking me to pee, pee, into a cup for you. How can you expect me to take that request seriously and NOT make a joke out of it?”
Kyuhyun was right. Hunting down one of your friends for urine was a little…odd, to say the least. But damn it! Kyuhyun was hiding something and it was driving Donghae up the wall. If he wasn’t an assassin, or doing drugs, what else could it be? Smuggling, black-market, prostitution, was Kyuhyun part of the Korean mafia?! He didn’t know! And the longer time went by, the more Donghae wanted to beat it out of him. Donghae thought that that was going to be the next step. But Kyuhyun spoke up before he could think anymore about that plan.
“Hyung, you’re just imagining things.” He looked into Donghae’s eyes and Donghae saw that what Kyuhyun was saying might, just might, be true. “I’m not doing anything other than practicing harder. That’s why I’ve been coming home late, why I’ve been skipping meals…although, I think if I skip one more meal, Ryeowook is about to force feed me something.” Kyuhyun chuckled to himself. “I’ve been sneaking out to get in more practice time. You know how Leeteuk is. If he knew I was over working myself, he would tie me to the bed and cancel all my schedules, and make me rest, and that’s just something I don’t want to do. I like working hard and I want to improve so I can stand next to you guys on stage and feel good about myself, feel like I’ve accomplished something great. I want to feel worthy to be a part of Super Junior” Kyuhyun kept his eyes unblinking and focused on Donghae’s, trying to will him to believe what he was saying.
Donghae looked at him and felt his heart clench. Kyuhyun felt like he wasn’t worthy to stand next to his hyungs, when he was one of the most talented members of Super Junior. And yet he didn’t see that and felt like he should exhaust himself to improve on what really didn’t need to be improved.
Donghae gripped Kyuhyun’s hands in his. “Kyuhyun, you are worthy. You have been since you first joined Super Junior and ever since you have joined, you have improved much more than any of us and you have added to the group. Not just with your voice, or now newly acquired dance skills, but your presence. You don’t need to improve. Your great as you are and have always been.” Donghae said with such strength, honesty and love in his words, Kyuhyun briefly wondered if they were filming some cheesy romance movie, where the lead guys thought that he wasn’t good enough to get the girl…and Donghae was the uplifting and encouraging mother. Kyuhyun kinda wanted to laugh at that thought, but he needed to keep going with what he was talking about. He needed to get Donghae off of his trail, and he thought that the only thing that would make that happen is to voice some of the worries he has had over the years he had been with Super Junior. He didn’t necessarily think these things anymore, but what better time to bring them up when he needed an out.
Kyuhyun looked down and nodded his head, telling Donghae he took what he said to heart and would be okay. Donghae smiled to himself and hugged his dongsaeng. If this was all he was worried about, then why didn’t he come to any of the members and talk about it? He would always talk to either Sungmin or Ryeowook when he had problems and yet he never voiced them until now. Donghae thought that maybe Kyuhyun didn’t trust any of the members well enough with this.
“Kyuhyun, why didn’t you go to any of the members and talk about this? Or even manger hyung?” He didn’t want Kyuhyun to beat himself over the head with something that could be dealt with and talked about.
Kyuhyun pulled back and laughed a little, “I didn’t want to worry anyone with my problems.”
Donghae shook his head and hugged him again. “You’re stupid, you know that Kyuhyunnie?”
They stayed like that for a moment before Kyuhyun spoke again, “Hyung, do I still need to pee in the cup?”
Donghae laughed and got up off the floor. “No,” and he walked out of the room, feeling a lot better than he had for the past few weeks. He felt better that Kyuhyun had finally spoken about his worries and that he knew Kyuhyun wouldn’t be holding them on his shoulders anymore.
As Donghae left the room, Kyuhyun watched him leave. He felt a little guilty for what he had just done. But he needed to get rid of Donghae’s suspicions and that seemed to do the trick.
Sighing and mentally kicking himself for tricking his hyung, he got up off the floor and walked over to his computer. If he was making Donghae suspicious, then what better way to stop his suspicions then to do something he always used to do?
Kyuhyun opened his computer, turned on the computer and waited for it to come on. Realizing he hadn’t finished eating his breakfast, he got up to get his bowl of cereal from the kitchen and brought it back to his room. When he sat back down, his eyes froze on the screen. Someone had changed his background. Instead of it being a picture of space, it was a picture of himself, but it wasn’t really him. His head was on the body of a very bootylicious girl who was in a deep red string bikini. He was even decked out in all types of extreme makeup. It looked like he was a working girl.
Narrowing his eyes, he jumped from his seat and ran out in the main room. He glared at the group of people that was sitting on the sofa.
“Who the hell touched my computer?!”
Everyone’s eyes widened. Who would be stupid enough to touch Gamekyu’s computer!? Did they have a death wish?!
Donghae, who was seated at the very end of the sofa, furthest away from Kyuhyun, shrank in the sofa and feared for his life.
For the rest of the day, Donghae had a little extra bounce in his step. He felt great! He was glad that the ‘mystery’ behind Kyuhyun’s strange behavior was now explained. And he had stopped worrying about him. He was not doing drugs, which seemed to take a big weight off Donghae’s chest knowing that, he wasn’t an assassin, and nothing else of that matter. He was just trying to improve his performance. Even though that thought kinda saddened him, Kyuhyun thinking he wasn’t good enough, knowing that he had shared that with him and that it wasn’t what Donghae had been thinking it would be, made him so happy, he didn’t even notice that Kyuhyun was still acting strange and still hiding what he was doing from the other members…and even Donghae. Even though he tried to go back to what he usually used to do.
It wasn’t until three days later that the nagging thoughts that Kyuhyun was still hiding something came creeping back into his thoughts.
Donghae noticed one day that Kyuhyun had walked off during the day to only appear an hour later and when Sungmin asked where he had gone, Kyuhyun had just smiled and said nowhere. Kyuhyun was getting more messages that Kyuhyun seemed to deem private and he would only read if he was away from any of the members, so they wouldn’t look over his shoulder and read them, or he would excuse himself just to read them.
About a week after the ‘peeing’ incident, all the members were in the 11th floor sitting around eating and being together on their day off. Donghae started to keep an eye on Kyuhyun and he noted everything that the younger had done. When he would leave the room, he would keep track of the time, and he would keep track of how many times he looked at his phone.
Kyuhyun had received a message and its contents seemed to please him, because he smiled but he quickly wiped it off before anyone could see his happiness. This seemed to quark Donghae’s interest and he needed to know what was going on…again.
A/N: I getting a little impatient. I was going to wait and post this later this week, but I just can’t wait! XD
As usual, comment comment comment please ^^
And if there was any confusion, the drug scene was a dream. It was Donghae’s imagination getting the better of him. I say this cause there was some confusion. A few people and even my friend who read it a head of time said that it didn’t seem that way and that maybe others would think the same. I should really take her advice next time. I added a sentence or two and I think that helped.
His addiction will be 100% clear in the next chapter, I promise. There will be no more waiting or confusion.