Poly History

[bzero]

Poly Mom posted a poly history, and I thought maybe I should do the
same since I get asked about it a lot. Those that know me IRL have
probably heard all this before, so feel free to skim or skip entirely.
B)
I’ve always been polyamorous in the sense that being in love with one

Comments

[teal_cuttlefish]

Thanks for the link, and your own quick recap. I'm a poly mom, too -- I have a 16 year old and a not-quite-adopted 17 year old. I've been poly since The Gothling was 2, so it's something she grew up with. Still, a few weeks ago the kid asked if I was OK with Hubby going out with his girlfriend, and seemed a bit skeptical that I am OK with it, even though she's used to me having two spice

[bzero]

*grin* Happy to link you to other poly folks, and to inspire your own post. B) My family is only my mom and sister, and I'm as out to them as can be, though my sister does stop me from going on about it to my mother. B) derby was almost another relationship there for a while, but it was interfering with my primary relationships, so it got scaled back. B) Thanks for commenting!

[procrasturbator]

"poly-saturated" - FTW

[bzero]

hee! I can't take credit for the term, but I do love it so! It describes my situation PERFECTLY!

[defixione]

Reading about your relationships, and knowing others who are ethical poly has helped me gain an appreciation of polyamoury. I used to resent it, mostly because I tried it once and...well, in gaming terms I pulled a critical failure. One important point I was taught by a friend of mine was that, just because it's multiple relationships doesn't mean it's any easier. In fact, it's harder. I was basically told to picture the effort that's put into one relationship, and multiply it.

Thanks for this further insight!

[bzero]

It's definitely harder. It's worth it, for me, but there is times when it's just stress stress stress. I told one potential paramour that I can't date anyone else because I just can't stand the idea of having ONE MORE PERSON I love unhappy with me all the time. I've rolled some critical failures on my own... I'm trying to take things easier, now, and just Take 10 when possible. LOL

[eloquent_slut]

Thanks for sharing this! I've only recently really started to explore the ideas and practices of polyamory, despite dating a married, polyamorous man for some time now. I understand what you mean about being non-confrontational and wanting to hide things. I have a feeling that will be me at first, but knowing this from the start, maybe I will have an easier time with it!

Good luck to you :)

[bzero]

Yeah -- honesty is definitely the best policy, although it's certainly not the easiest! There have been so many times where I could have gotten what I wanted by just being honest in the beginning, but by hiding things and lying, I forever ruined my chances for happiness in those situations. It's a lot better for me to wait and get most of what I want long-term, then sneaky take what I want now, and lose it all later. B/

[donnalee_kiss]

I've always been in non-monogamous relationships and I'm so glad of that since I don't know how people live with the lying and shit. It's so much easier to be open and free and happy. Sure you are poly-saturated, since there are not enough people who are nice like you willing to share and be shared. That's a critical point....lots of guys I've talked to have said they like me but would never want a woman like me since they would not want to share, but they'd want to see other women!

[bzero]

Yeah. It's always easier to be the one shared than sharing. I've been a lot more insecure lately, which has led to a lot more jealousy... I'm usually pretty good about compersion, but that's when I feel secure in my relationships. My relationships aren't that secure right now, so it's hard to be as free to share, tho I'm working on it.