the entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person [Oneshot]
Yunho watches the rain and falling from the hotel room balcony inhales in the silence-
(Don’t worry, you’ll always be my best friend, Junsu says the day they both learn they’ll be trainees no longer, eyes aglow and uneven rows of teeth displayed, innocence matched only by the way his sweaty palm slips from Yunho’s, and there’s an unspoken promise in the way he latches onto the other boy’s hand immediately following this and smiles like the world belongs to them.)
-But it’s harder to exhale when his mind drifts back Junsu
and all the days he spent pushing forward
with the knowledge that he was needed by someone.
Yunho goes into the bathroom and stares at his own reflection-
(Don’t worry, you look great, Leadersshi, Yoochun says the day they’re at last back in Korea again that year and waiting on stand-by to get up on stage for what feels like the biggest award ceremony of their career, gentle gaze and not-quite smirk affectionate as he pats Yunho on the shoulder as he passes, and there’s an unspoken promise that even his members are watching out for him from afar.)
-But it’s harder to recognize himself now
without Yoochun there to reassure him
that they’re all beautiful in their own way when they’re together.
Yunho comes out of the shower and decides to grab something to eat-
(You look tired, go lay down and let me take care of dinner tonight, Jaejoong says the day Yunho is sick with the flu and tries valiantly to do what he normally does, face and tone stern but those expressive eyes giving him away like always, pushing him out of the kitchen with a furrow to his brow but the ghost of a smile never leaving those full lips, reassurance that he was only worried for Yunho after all.)
-But it’s hard to believe that he had been called ‘leader’
when Jaejoong was the one who deserved such a title
because he always knew what they all wanted (needed) from the start.
Yunho lies back on the bed, glancing at Changmin asleep in the bed opposite his,
(-I know, we need to be strong, the show must go on, b-but I don’t know if I can do th-but Yunho shushes him, rubs his back in soothing circles, and tells Changmin the same things he’s been telling himself for the past months, it’s alright, don’t cry, we’ll get through this, Changmin-ah, it’s alright; because even if it’s not, he knows that all he can do right now when he’s on the verge of breaking down himself, of giving up entirely on the promise the five of them built all those years: dreams of glory and shared triumph and taking on the world; the five of them, always, always-)
and exhales.
When the phone rings, Yunho nearly jumps out of his skin.
He practically runs to where he left it - inches from the edge of the side-table drawer at Changmin’s bedside - and sends the roused Changmin a quick look of apology before pressing the accept call button.
He knows that number like the back of his hand.
“H-Hello?” The words stick to the back of his throat, something sinking and rising in the pit of his stomach to the middle of his chest. “Jaejoon-”
“Hyung.” Yoochun’s voice answers instead,
cadence breathless and excited - happy? -
a bizarre blend of emotions assaulting his ears at once.
“You guys…you’re in room 415, right?”
Yunho feels himself standing up, even as his entire body goes pleasantly numb, stumbling to the door in an energized stupor.
He thought he could hear their voices so close to him.
When he looks through the peephole, he realizes it wasn’t just wishful thinking.
As soon as the door is unbolted and open the slightest bit, three shivering forms topple into his open arms.
“Yun-nim!” Junsu giggles, pressing his nose into Yunho’s bare shoulder and peering past him to see the magnae’s bewildered stare behind them. “Changminnie! You’re still awake!”
“Told you they’d still be awake!” Yoochun scoffs somewhere next to Yunho’s ear, snaking an arm around his and Jaejoong’s waist to keep them both steady. “Like they’d be able to sleep on a night like this.”
“God, you have no idea how happy I am that manager let us sneak out tonight!” Jaejoong enthuses, breath warm against the crook of Yunho’s neck. “Thought we wouldn’t make it…”
“Make it?” Yunho manages to say as the other three pull away from him slowly, rubbing furiously at his moist eyelids. “Make it for what?”
Three pairs of eyes regard each other with a twinkle of amusement
- accompanied by a chuckle from behind him (Changmin) -
as Jaejoong drops his bag at Yunho’s feet.
“Our after-Christmas party,” the eldest smiles,
extracting a bottle of soju and a handful of tiny, palm-sized wrapped gift boxes.
“And our sixth anniversary party.”
Junsu laughs, nestling between the reclined Changmin and the almost-kneeling Yoochun, with reckless abandon (like back when they were trainees, uneven rows of teeth and awkward confessions of friendship) and a brilliant innocence that only Junsu could offer.
Yoochun bumps into Changmin on the way down, dragging the youngest down to the mattress with him (like back then, just a flash of those gentle eyes was all it would take to make Yunho feel fine again) and making jokes about his messy hair as only Yoochun could make affectionate and well-meaning.
Changmin groans, trying desperately to duck under the covers and avoid Junsu’s pleading glances (but just like back then, Changmin’s telltale grin gave away the fact that he was more than excited to see them too) and Yoochun’s plaintive entreaties to cuddle with him.
And when he turns to look at Jaejoong, he smiles at the soft gaze he finds returned with equal adoration, the older one’s wrist pressed under his thumb (gentle yet firm, just like always, those eyes never failed to give him away), the light rhythm of Jaejoong’s heartbeat familiar and reminding him-
“Hyung…it’s group bonding time, apparently.” Changmin piped up, dry wit apparent. “Planning on joining us or what?”
“Yun-nim, Jaejoongie~” Junsu spoke in a low whine. “You guys’d better hurry up or Yoochunnie’s gonna steal your presents!”
“Unless we’re practicing for our comeback or something.” Yoochun grinned. “I didn’t know you guys wanted a little edgy fanservice, but okay. -Let’s practice being the fans, Su.”
“Fans?” Yunho squawks, eyeing a bright red Jaejoong nervously. “Service?!”
“Okay, sounds like fun!” Tittering. “Changminnie, join us, join us!”
“You sound like we’re gonna start a cult…” But he stops eyeing the other two suspiciously when he sees an approving but reluctant nod from Jaejoong. “Okay, okay. But only ‘cause it’s our anniversary.”
“YunJae couple~ HWAITING!” Yoochun shouts.
“YooSu couple…HWAITING!” Changmin glances at Junsu, who gives a sheepish grin and squeaks at the magnae’s pointed look, “M-MinSu couple, hwaiting?”
“Kiss couple, hwaiting.” Yoochun chirps, immediately clinging to Changmin and eliciting a startled squawk from the youngest - and then, holding out a hand to Jaejoong and Yunho (who were already pacing toward the other three), “2U and SoulMate couple, hwaiting.”
“HoMin couple, hwaiting.” Yunho ruffles Changmin’s hair and lets Jaejoong tackle-hug his ‘son’ in earnest soon after. “Aaaand SoulFighter couple, hwaiting, I guess?”
“YunJaeChunSuMin couple, hwaiting!” To Changmin’s disturbed stare and Yoochun’s subsequent snort, Junsu huffs, “Well, it counts, doesn’t it?”
Everyone laughs, Jaejoong’s elbows hooked with Yoochun’s, Yoochun’s legs propped on Changmin’s stomach, Changmin’s arms splayed over Junsu’s chest, and Junsu’s head resting on Yunho’s thighs - the five of them cramped in one bed in a most uncomfortable sight to behold but far from feeling uncomfortable.
“Dong Bang Shin Ki, hwaiting,” Yunho says, and then, “Tohoshinki fight-o!”
“That’ll do it,” Changmin sniggers, earning him a playful kick from Jaejoong and a small pout from Junsu. “But that’s our Leader Yunho for you.”
“That’s our Leader Yunho,” three voices chorus in unison. And Yunho smiles.
-Because it reminds him that no matter how much time passes,
no matter how much he worries for the future,
the five of them will always exist for him
(just as he exists for them).