I wrote this letter from the heart.
To the keepers of my heart,
It's been one year.
One year since I heard the song that made my heart stop -- saw the faces dripping with sweat that I wouldn't be able to keep out of my mind -- watched the passion, the magic, and the miracle unfold that they could only give one name:
Dong Bang Shin Ki. "TVXQ." Rising Gods of the East. What an appropriate name.
It's been two years.
Two years since I shut away my heart to "obsessions" and "boybands" and "flights of fancy" that I thought would distract me, keep me away from what I truly wanted. But how was I supposed to know that this passion they unlocked in me that December one year ago would unlock all the possibilities I thought before were impossible?
Dong Bang Shin Ki. Tohoshinki. TVXQ. Only you could do that for me.
It's been three years.
Three years since I realized how much I loved music; realized how much music affects me; realized how much I love singing. I'm no good at it, I know (certainly not to the degree that some, more naturally talented people are) -- but my heart urges me on regardless, pushing me forward to a future including I couldn't possibly live without now:
Music. The great unifier. No matter what language you speak, it speaks the language of the soul. Only music could affect me this way.
It's been far too long.
Far too long, that is, since I realized how much my heart also loves to write -- to be able to express feelings in words, to be able to convey sentiments in sentences and phrases, to be able to touch people from miles and miles away, despite my belief that I'm no good at it. But, despite my inferiority complex, I'm here typing away on this keyboard and plan to do that for as long as the inspiration to write continues to come to me:
Fiction. Fanfiction. All of it precious to me. Because I know I can express this love that's pressed deep into my chest this way.
...
It's been 6 years for you, though, hasn't it?
Six years. Six years of blood, tears, & perspiration; six years of preservation, struggles, & triumphs; six years of music, dance, & lyrics; of awards, disappointments, losses; of life, love, and finding yourselves standing tall against the stream of time, always standing tall despite it all:
Dong Bang Shin Ki.
My love.
My music.
My inspiration.
I hope you're doing well. I worry about you every day, you know. It's silly, but I want you to be happy no matter what.
...Though I'm sure you don't know it.
I am just one girl
-- a faceless name, a nameless face --
in the crowd, after all.
But I'm starting to think that's alright,
If I can see the five of you on stage singing,
giving your best like you always do,
that's more than I could ever ask for.
...
...
...
...
...
Happy 6th Anniversary, Dong Bang Shin Ki. ♥
I'll be right here waiting for the day
you're ready to stand on stage truly as 5 again,
Always Keeping The Faith
(Eternally),
Kei