1 Headshot || Phone / Action (ie, worst intro in history)

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Sniper awoke in a bed that A) Wasn't his camper, B) Wasn't in any base he could remember, and C) there was a woman down the hall that looked dead. And not in the normal "I've been blown to pieces" way either, the falling apart and lurching around kind. This would be a prime opportunity to put a bullet through her head, if only he could find his

Comments

[Action]

[eyesofaserpent]

[OH HEY LOOK, A ZOMBIE. Except this one just looks laid back and relaxed. And the only injury he seems to have is a bite to the neck. And he certainly isn't lurching. Maybe sauntering. He gives a sort of embarrassed wave to the stranger.]

Are you really sure you ought to be outside? There are a lot of predators out right now.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Lack of lurching aside, Sniper is still suspicious.*

I can take care 'f myself.

*Holding up his trusty kitchen knife he eyes that wound on Crowley's neck. That doesn't look healthy at all...*

[Action]

[eyesofaserpent]

[It really isn't.]

Perhaps under normal circumstances you can, but this is Mayfield.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

That suppose t' mean somethin' to me? Because it doesn't.

*He gestures with his knife at some of the lurching monstrosities around.*

Suppose you jus' tell me what th' bloody hell is going on?

phone;

[un_beau_coquin]

Sniper. Zhe BLU Sniper, oui?

Come to zhe 'ospital before you become infected. You are unarmed right now, oui?

phone;

[bye_to_yer_head]

Yea.

*He stares at the phone suspiciously.*

Who's this?

phone;

[un_beau_coquin]

I would tell you to guess, mon ami, but we lack zhe time. It is zhe RED Spy. And non, I do not plan to kill you.

[He sighs.] Merde, am I supposed to expect you to trust me? Per'aps I should just get a BLU on zhe line...

phone;

[bye_to_yer_head]

Roight. I'll jus' take your word for it mate. Sure.

*He is unconvinced.*

You'd 'ave t' do a hell of a lot more than that t' get me to even think about trustin' a Spy. RED or BLU.

*He's pretty close to hanging up on you Spy.*

[phone]

[freakinblur]

[Oh wow for reals?! It's been AGES by Snipes is back?!

However, first order of business: trolololol.]

Yer gonna have ta find me first, pally!

[phone]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Shouldn't be too hard, I can almost hear you from here. Wherever here is.

*Liessssss.*

[freakinblur]

Yeah, see, that's the funny thing. Ya don't remember bein' here, do ya? Ain't surprised. Well, good luck findin' yer way all the zombies first.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Don't remember what? Yer makin' less sense than usual, an' I didn't think that was possible.

[ Phone ]

[handytalent]

... at least you sound more prepared than I ever was. I mean, for the rotting walking corpse raid... deal.

[ Phone ]

[bye_to_yer_head]

I don't know how you'd prepare fer zombies, but I'd be a lot more comfortable if I 'ad my gun. Instead of a knoife from th' kitchen.

[ Phone ]

[handytalent]

I don't know... but if they have been brought here, it's safe to assume they must exist somewhere else? [ Mumbling ] I have seen some weird things here...

[ Phone ]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Unless they were always here an' it just was never a problem before. ... Weird loike what?

phone; NOT RID OF ME YET

[hotfrombehind]

Alright Snipes, get your goddamn ass over here.

You know how I found out that you were here? That goddamn Spy. Well, actually, he just told Red who told me, but that's not the fucking point!

This the the fucking BLU Pyro talking and I will give you fucking goddamn directions if you need them. I will go to your fucking house and pick you up with the RED Sniper's truck if I need to. Just get your ass over here.

\o/

[bye_to_yer_head]

I don't even know where th' lot 'f you are.

*He is dubious of Pyro's that form coherent sentences.*

And how am I t' know this isn't jus' the Spy callin' back while disguised?

[hotfrombehind]

Goddammit. I woulda killed him there and then if it weren't for Red and your goddamn counterpart. That, and it'd be a goddamn waste of ammo at the moment.

I told you, I'll give you fucking directions. Here, just fucking hear me out, Snipes. [He gives the location of the hospital.] The place is pretty much identical fucking everywhere, so it might be hard to get through. Like I said, I'll pick you up if I have to.

Y'just gotta get over here. It's not fucking safe to be walking around this shithole unarmed.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Hn.

*There's a pause as he debates about what Pyro is saying. Sure he was able to easily shove the zombies in his house into one of the rooms and shove a chair under the door so they couldn't get out, but outside was a whole different matter.*

You really think it's gonna get that bad? It's not loike they're tryin' t' rip the doors off or anything.