This fic is dedicated to the stunningly wonderful Minerva Solo aka MsSolo aka minervasolo. It is slightly too late for her birthday, but hopefully should please enough
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Whoa. This is really good. Definitely shows your non comedy side at its best. There are several bits that are even Valentines Mourning good. e.g.
But I can’t predict Henry Bendix, not in the least, and that frightens me. I’m not meant to fear anymore, I’m meant to be fear, I’m meant to make fucking armies piss their pants at the mention of me. I am not meant to be afraid of our boss. I am not meant to be afraid of this wonderfully stalwart man who defends the Earth without question from all threats.
But I am. And right now I am very afraid indeed.
Then there are the very very Rachel bits
Remember, kids, stupidity can often prove fatal. In many deeply interesting and painful ways; be stupid and your Uncle Midnighter will show you.
Valentine's Mourning good? Yikes. *heavy breathing* That's reassuring. I'm kind of nervous about this one, that said it is the "obligatory Midnighter origin story/ explanation of the AIDS comment in the rogue doctor storyline..." (Go and look here and tell me that I'm wrong (on that type of story being obligatory and all).
As you can see/hear, I'm very flattered (I'm also typing in the morning high on coke and asprin), and I do like to exercise my non-comedy side. I like it even more when other people like it.
I was worrying after I posted that Mid was channeling me too much, but then he's a sarcastic bastard, and I'm a sarcastic bastardette (who needs to start falling for men who are a)straight and b)available, as you keep reminding me)
I'm very impressed by your use of the < blockquote > tag there, Tracey.
This is very nice, intruiging premise. You should have someone proofread it for you, though, because there are quite a few distracting typos in there. Also, denoting flashbacks in some way would make it less confusing. That said, well done. It's very good.
Hmmm... I'll weed the word document for this for typos (god! what a clumsy sentence) as soon as I get some breathing space.
The thing about the flashbacks was that the whole fic pretty much occured in Mid's head (I tend to do steam of consciousness/ 1st person fic more often than is good for my general sanity) and was trying to follow the flow of his thoughts, so demarkating the flashbacks would be rather contary to the whole feel of the piece.
That's not supposed to sound arrogant, just meant to explain my thought processes a bit. *sheepish grin*
I understand about the flashbacks, I guess it's a choice you make: style vs. clarity. I'll readily confess to being somewhat confused at times throughout this fic as to exactly what was going on, and it irked me a bit. But others may not mind it as much.
That being said, I don't think the Midnighter's thoughts would be as run-on and stream of consciousness as they are in this fic. The man has a computer in his brain, after all, which makes me think his thinking processes would be more... structured, is the word I'm looking for, than those of an ordinary person. But that could be a point of debate.
Eeee. Thank you very much! Loved it. Especially the way the flashback just flowed into the story without a break, very naturally. And all of the little revelations he has to keep to himself, even though regaining their memories is important to both of them.
Some people seem to disagree about the flowing flashbacks, but I'm really taking the view that as this is written firmly in Midnighter's voice. Okay, it's really one of those wild stream of consciousness things that I do.
Yay! I get to use my Authority icon for an actual Authority post!
Okay, I like the way flashbacks and present-time flow into and out of each other. And certain moments are pure gold shining out of what was already a pretty good story. (Shadowkittracey mentions one.)The whole general premise is... freaky, very freaky.
There's something especially poignant about a beaten Midnighter after Human on the Inside. That Midnighter would let Apollo get that punch in (even though it probably didn't hurt him) is disturbing. And I now I'm pondering character development based on that graphic novel and this story.
A few typos, as has been mentioned, but nothing that completely ruined the story.
I'm still having trouble spotting the damn typos. *is going tto wait for her brain to be working again*
I've only really flicked through Human On The Inside while standing around in Forbidden Planet, going it's sixteen bloody pounds, what else can I buy for sixteen bloody pounds?
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But I can’t predict Henry Bendix, not in the least, and that frightens me. I’m not meant to fear anymore, I’m meant to be fear, I’m meant to make fucking armies piss their pants at the mention of me. I am not meant to be afraid of our boss. I am not meant to be afraid of this wonderfully stalwart man who defends the Earth without question from all threats.
But I am. And right now I am very afraid indeed.
Then there are the very very Rachel bits
Remember, kids, stupidity can often prove fatal. In many deeply interesting and painful ways; be stupid and your Uncle Midnighter will show you.
Reply
As you can see/hear, I'm very flattered (I'm also typing in the morning high on coke and asprin), and I do like to exercise my non-comedy side. I like it even more when other people like it.
I was worrying after I posted that Mid was channeling me too much, but then he's a sarcastic bastard, and I'm a sarcastic bastardette (who needs to start falling for men who are a)straight and b)available, as you keep reminding me)
I'm very impressed by your use of the < blockquote > tag there, Tracey.
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Hmmm... I'll weed the word document for this for typos (god! what a clumsy sentence) as soon as I get some breathing space.
The thing about the flashbacks was that the whole fic pretty much occured in Mid's head (I tend to do steam of consciousness/ 1st person fic more often than is good for my general sanity) and was trying to follow the flow of his thoughts, so demarkating the flashbacks would be rather contary to the whole feel of the piece.
That's not supposed to sound arrogant, just meant to explain my thought processes a bit. *sheepish grin*
Reply
That being said, I don't think the Midnighter's thoughts would be as run-on and stream of consciousness as they are in this fic. The man has a computer in his brain, after all, which makes me think his thinking processes would be more... structured, is the word I'm looking for, than those of an ordinary person. But that could be a point of debate.
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The strange thing is that I don't find the Midnighter all that elusive myself, it's Apollo that I have a tough time putting a finger on.
*thinks* Maybe I have too much in common with the Midnighter *is disturbed*
Glad you liked it, makes the world a finer place.
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^___^ Thankees!
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Some people seem to disagree about the flowing flashbacks, but I'm really taking the view that as this is written firmly in Midnighter's voice. Okay, it's really one of those wild stream of consciousness things that I do.
*quits with the blather*
What I meant to say was "squee! Glad you liked!"
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Okay, I like the way flashbacks and present-time flow into and out of each other. And certain moments are pure gold shining out of what was already a pretty good story. (Shadowkittracey mentions one.)The whole general premise is... freaky, very freaky.
There's something especially poignant about a beaten Midnighter after Human on the Inside. That Midnighter would let Apollo get that punch in (even though it probably didn't hurt him) is disturbing. And I now I'm pondering character development based on that graphic novel and this story.
A few typos, as has been mentioned, but nothing that completely ruined the story.
Reply
I've only really flicked through Human On The Inside while standing around in Forbidden Planet, going it's sixteen bloody pounds, what else can I buy for sixteen bloody pounds?
I am all over freaky. *grins*
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It's even worse once you start translating it into sterling...
(doesn't want to thin about how much her pull list costs her)
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