Affirmation Chapter Ten
Title: Affirmation (Chapter Ten)
Author: Vanessa
Pairing: OB/VM
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When a tragic situation leaves Orlando broken and isolated will Viggo’s love and belief in him be strong enough to bring him back?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Warnings: Violence, Angst, and Character Death (Original Characters only).
Disclaimer: This is not true. I don’t know them, and I'm not making any claims about them in real life. It never happened.
Archive: Please don't.
Betas: The wonderful tamsu2002 & foxrafer
Author’s Notes: This is set in mid 2003. I obviously played with actual filming schedules. There's a lot of angst in this, but there will eventually be a happy ending, I promise.
~*~
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine
Banner by araestel.
Sean Bean waited all of thirty seconds after ringing the bell before trying the knob. Finding it unlocked, he let himself inside, just as he had back in New Zealand. "Viggo," he called out as he stepped into the foyer, leaving the door open behind him and Elijah standing on the porch, his mouth agape.
Viggo met him in the hallway, his expression melting from annoyance to surprise. "Sean?'
"Yep." Sean pulled Viggo in for a hug that he didn't release even as he motioned for Elijah to come inside and shut the door behind him. "And lock it too," he added, "or any idiot could just walk in."
"It's a bit late to prevent that." Viggo pulled free from the hug and gave Sean an questioning look. "I thought you were in England."
"I was. Now I'm here. How's Orlando?"
"He's...the same."
The news wasn't surprising - Elijah had already given Sean the latest update on the way from the airport - but the look in Viggo's eyes hit Sean like a punch to the gut. He'd expected sadness, perhaps even frustration, but what he saw was... nothing. The small spark that Sean had seen when Viggo had hugged him had vanished, leaving Viggo's eyes almost as dull as Sean remembered Orlando's to be.
Sean shot Elijah a desperate look, but Elijah just shrugged and returned his desperate look with a pointed one. This was why he was here.
Viggo appeared not to have noticed the short exchange. In the few seconds Sean's eyes were off him, he'd started back down the hall, seemingly oblivious to his friends in the foyer.
His worry growing, Sean jogged a few steps to catch up and slung his arm around Viggo's shoulders. "Leaving us already?" He deliberately kept his tone light.
Viggo blinked, looking for all the world like he was just waking up. He didn't stop, however. "I have to finish breakfast and get back up to Orlando. He's alone." His pace quickened and he pulled free of Sean's arm. Sean let him go ahead.
"He doesn't like having Orli out of his sight."
"Yeah." Sean didn't suppose he would either under the circumstances, but it still made things bloody awkward.
Elijah patted his arm as he walked past. "Last time, he opened up more once he was around Orli."
As both Viggo's and Elijah's words penetrated his brain, an idea began to form. Perhaps, just perhaps, it was worth a shot. Sean quickened his pace to catch up with Elijah. "Hold on, Elijah."
Wide blue eyes focused on him in rapt attention as Sean outlined his budding plan.
~*~
"Orlando!"
The noise caused the already intense pain in Orlando's skull to spike and he winced into the pillow. "Hmm?"
"It's time to leave. Let's go."
There was a click and the room was flooded with light that seeped in around the edges of the pillow and stabbed into Orlando's eyeballs. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and the pain receded a little, but the red glow persisted. He pushed the pillow tighter to his face in the hopes that it would go away.
The pillow was jerked roughly from his grasp and a bottle of pills bounced on the bed, rattling as it rolled to a stop. "We're going to be late."
"Late?" For what? Where were they going? They never had plans anymore, at least not together. Orlando shaded his eyes with his hand and blinked at Viggo as he tried to make sense of what was happening.
"Yes. For dinner, remember?"
Right, dinner. When he thought about it for a moment, Orlando remembered that they were supposed to meet Billy, Dominic, and Elijah for dinner. He'd been napping in an attempt to get rid of his headache before they left. "Yeah, sorry." He rubbed his eyes then fumbled for the pill bottle, dumped four capsules into his hand, and swallowed them. Drinking would be out of the question, but perhaps with friends there he wouldn't need or want alcohol to make things more pleasant.
Viggo slipped into his shoes. "Hurry up."
That was it. No "how are you" or "can I get you anything," just a tossed pill bottle and a "hurry up." Orlando supposed he should be grateful for the pills, but he couldn't help but wish for more. He couldn’t help but think of that the other Viggo, the one who still haunted him despite his efforts to block out the things he knew not to be real. He couldn't help but think that the other Viggo would have cared enough to do more than drop a pill bottle on the bed.
He carefully began to move, trying his best not to jar his head too much.
If only his dreams were real.
~*~
The toast had popped out of the toaster, Viggo was sure of it; if he took the long way back upstairs he could push it back down on his way through the kitchen. When he came back from getting Orlando ready, it would be that perfect brown that could only be obtained by two cycles through the toaster, and it would still be hot enough to melt the butter. That thought brought the briefest flash of a smile to his lips as he hurried through the house, determined to use speed to make up the time he would lose by taking the circuitous route.
It was a bad idea that cost him precious seconds. The toaster didn't want to heat again right away, and it took three tries for Viggo to get the lever to stick. He wouldn't have wasted time on a fourth attempt.
"Problems?"
Viggo flinched. "It's fine." Maybe, if he didn’t make eye contact...but no, Sean was already blocking his way out of the kitchen. "Sean... please."
"No."
No? Viggo had to have heard that wrong. Orlando had been alone upstairs for too long already; Viggo needed to get back to him. Sean couldn't... no, he wouldn't... Viggo whirled and fled in the other direction.
He had managed five steps before he was jerked to a halt.
"Viggo, listen to me." Sean moved so they were facing each other, but didn't release the strong grip he had on Viggo's shoulders. "Orlando is fine. Elijah is upstairs with him."
It wasn't the same. Elijah hadn't been there every day for the past ten weeks He didn't know everything that needed to be done or the best way to get Orlando to do the few things that he would do. Elijah didn't know what Orlando would do with instruction, what had to be done completely for him, and he didn't know what Viggo had already done that morning.
Viggo quite simply couldn't turn Orlando's care over to anyone else, not even for a short period of time. It just wasn't feasible. "I have to go to him." As he pulled back, he got one shoulder free from Sean's grip. "He needs me."
"He needs you to take care of yourself, Viggo." Sean caught Viggo's shoulder again and gripped it tighter this time. "When was the last time you did what you wanted?"
Sean's gaze bore into Viggo until he looked away, unable to meet it any longer. "I want to take care of him," he whispered, looking down and shifting to try to ease the painful pressure on his shoulders.
"When was the last time you did something that didn't involve Orlando?"
Viggo cringed and shuffled his feet as he quickly calculated his chances of successfully avoiding that question. He could feel the intensity of Sean's expectant gaze and his whole body itched and tingled under the scrutiny. He needed to get away, put several walls between him and Sean... either that or answer the question.
The last few minutes had shown him that the latter would be much easier, so he sighed and raised his eyes to meet Sean's. "Before he came home." The words stuck in Viggo's throat and were uttered in barely a whisper, but Sean apparently heard them anyway. The iron grip loosened and Sean shifted so one arm was slung across Viggo's shoulders. If he'd wanted, Viggo could have gotten away from Sean. The contact felt good, however, and Viggo found himself leaning into it.
"Thought so. Come on."
They were halfway to the garage before Viggo realized where they were going and dug in his feet, quite literally refusing to move another step despite Sean's urging. "No." How had he let it get this far? Orlando was upstairs with only Elijah to take care of him! He couldn't leave now... could he? Maybe... maybe Sean was right and he needed to take some time for himself, but not out of the house and away from Orlando. The more he thought, the more confused Viggo became. There were too many "what ifs" to consider. He couldn't take the chance. "No," he repeated, shaking his head to add emphasis.
"Yes."
"I'm not leaving. I can't."
"Why not?"
"Orlando."
"Viggo, listen to me." Sean stepped in front of Viggo and looked him straight in the eyes. "Orlando will be fine. Elijah is with him. Dominic and Billy are on their way over. I know they can be twats at times, but surely between the three of them they can handle things, yeah?"
"Billy's in town?" Viggo hadn't known. Last he'd heard, Billy had been off spending time with his sister and working on something.
"Everyone who could make it is in town. I assured them I could get you out all by myself, but I have backup if I need it. Do I need to ring Ian and Peter or are you going to come get a real breakfast with me?"
Viggo knew when he was outmaneuvered. "I'll come."
He could do this, it was only breakfast, right? He had to eat, and it would be nice to get out of the house and catch up with Sean. It wouldn't take that long. Afterwards, they could come back to the house where he could see Orlando and be there if anything happened.
It would be good for him.
So why was it so hard to walk out that door?
Chapter Eleven
Author: Vanessa
Pairing: OB/VM
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When a tragic situation leaves Orlando broken and isolated will Viggo’s love and belief in him be strong enough to bring him back?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Warnings: Violence, Angst, and Character Death (Original Characters only).
Disclaimer: This is not true. I don’t know them, and I'm not making any claims about them in real life. It never happened.
Archive: Please don't.
Betas: The wonderful tamsu2002 & foxrafer
Author’s Notes: This is set in mid 2003. I obviously played with actual filming schedules. There's a lot of angst in this, but there will eventually be a happy ending, I promise.
~*~
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine
Banner by araestel.
Sean Bean waited all of thirty seconds after ringing the bell before trying the knob. Finding it unlocked, he let himself inside, just as he had back in New Zealand. "Viggo," he called out as he stepped into the foyer, leaving the door open behind him and Elijah standing on the porch, his mouth agape.
Viggo met him in the hallway, his expression melting from annoyance to surprise. "Sean?'
"Yep." Sean pulled Viggo in for a hug that he didn't release even as he motioned for Elijah to come inside and shut the door behind him. "And lock it too," he added, "or any idiot could just walk in."
"It's a bit late to prevent that." Viggo pulled free from the hug and gave Sean an questioning look. "I thought you were in England."
"I was. Now I'm here. How's Orlando?"
"He's...the same."
The news wasn't surprising - Elijah had already given Sean the latest update on the way from the airport - but the look in Viggo's eyes hit Sean like a punch to the gut. He'd expected sadness, perhaps even frustration, but what he saw was... nothing. The small spark that Sean had seen when Viggo had hugged him had vanished, leaving Viggo's eyes almost as dull as Sean remembered Orlando's to be.
Sean shot Elijah a desperate look, but Elijah just shrugged and returned his desperate look with a pointed one. This was why he was here.
Viggo appeared not to have noticed the short exchange. In the few seconds Sean's eyes were off him, he'd started back down the hall, seemingly oblivious to his friends in the foyer.
His worry growing, Sean jogged a few steps to catch up and slung his arm around Viggo's shoulders. "Leaving us already?" He deliberately kept his tone light.
Viggo blinked, looking for all the world like he was just waking up. He didn't stop, however. "I have to finish breakfast and get back up to Orlando. He's alone." His pace quickened and he pulled free of Sean's arm. Sean let him go ahead.
"He doesn't like having Orli out of his sight."
"Yeah." Sean didn't suppose he would either under the circumstances, but it still made things bloody awkward.
Elijah patted his arm as he walked past. "Last time, he opened up more once he was around Orli."
As both Viggo's and Elijah's words penetrated his brain, an idea began to form. Perhaps, just perhaps, it was worth a shot. Sean quickened his pace to catch up with Elijah. "Hold on, Elijah."
Wide blue eyes focused on him in rapt attention as Sean outlined his budding plan.
~*~
"Orlando!"
The noise caused the already intense pain in Orlando's skull to spike and he winced into the pillow. "Hmm?"
"It's time to leave. Let's go."
There was a click and the room was flooded with light that seeped in around the edges of the pillow and stabbed into Orlando's eyeballs. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and the pain receded a little, but the red glow persisted. He pushed the pillow tighter to his face in the hopes that it would go away.
The pillow was jerked roughly from his grasp and a bottle of pills bounced on the bed, rattling as it rolled to a stop. "We're going to be late."
"Late?" For what? Where were they going? They never had plans anymore, at least not together. Orlando shaded his eyes with his hand and blinked at Viggo as he tried to make sense of what was happening.
"Yes. For dinner, remember?"
Right, dinner. When he thought about it for a moment, Orlando remembered that they were supposed to meet Billy, Dominic, and Elijah for dinner. He'd been napping in an attempt to get rid of his headache before they left. "Yeah, sorry." He rubbed his eyes then fumbled for the pill bottle, dumped four capsules into his hand, and swallowed them. Drinking would be out of the question, but perhaps with friends there he wouldn't need or want alcohol to make things more pleasant.
Viggo slipped into his shoes. "Hurry up."
That was it. No "how are you" or "can I get you anything," just a tossed pill bottle and a "hurry up." Orlando supposed he should be grateful for the pills, but he couldn't help but wish for more. He couldn’t help but think of that the other Viggo, the one who still haunted him despite his efforts to block out the things he knew not to be real. He couldn't help but think that the other Viggo would have cared enough to do more than drop a pill bottle on the bed.
He carefully began to move, trying his best not to jar his head too much.
If only his dreams were real.
~*~
The toast had popped out of the toaster, Viggo was sure of it; if he took the long way back upstairs he could push it back down on his way through the kitchen. When he came back from getting Orlando ready, it would be that perfect brown that could only be obtained by two cycles through the toaster, and it would still be hot enough to melt the butter. That thought brought the briefest flash of a smile to his lips as he hurried through the house, determined to use speed to make up the time he would lose by taking the circuitous route.
It was a bad idea that cost him precious seconds. The toaster didn't want to heat again right away, and it took three tries for Viggo to get the lever to stick. He wouldn't have wasted time on a fourth attempt.
"Problems?"
Viggo flinched. "It's fine." Maybe, if he didn’t make eye contact...but no, Sean was already blocking his way out of the kitchen. "Sean... please."
"No."
No? Viggo had to have heard that wrong. Orlando had been alone upstairs for too long already; Viggo needed to get back to him. Sean couldn't... no, he wouldn't... Viggo whirled and fled in the other direction.
He had managed five steps before he was jerked to a halt.
"Viggo, listen to me." Sean moved so they were facing each other, but didn't release the strong grip he had on Viggo's shoulders. "Orlando is fine. Elijah is upstairs with him."
It wasn't the same. Elijah hadn't been there every day for the past ten weeks He didn't know everything that needed to be done or the best way to get Orlando to do the few things that he would do. Elijah didn't know what Orlando would do with instruction, what had to be done completely for him, and he didn't know what Viggo had already done that morning.
Viggo quite simply couldn't turn Orlando's care over to anyone else, not even for a short period of time. It just wasn't feasible. "I have to go to him." As he pulled back, he got one shoulder free from Sean's grip. "He needs me."
"He needs you to take care of yourself, Viggo." Sean caught Viggo's shoulder again and gripped it tighter this time. "When was the last time you did what you wanted?"
Sean's gaze bore into Viggo until he looked away, unable to meet it any longer. "I want to take care of him," he whispered, looking down and shifting to try to ease the painful pressure on his shoulders.
"When was the last time you did something that didn't involve Orlando?"
Viggo cringed and shuffled his feet as he quickly calculated his chances of successfully avoiding that question. He could feel the intensity of Sean's expectant gaze and his whole body itched and tingled under the scrutiny. He needed to get away, put several walls between him and Sean... either that or answer the question.
The last few minutes had shown him that the latter would be much easier, so he sighed and raised his eyes to meet Sean's. "Before he came home." The words stuck in Viggo's throat and were uttered in barely a whisper, but Sean apparently heard them anyway. The iron grip loosened and Sean shifted so one arm was slung across Viggo's shoulders. If he'd wanted, Viggo could have gotten away from Sean. The contact felt good, however, and Viggo found himself leaning into it.
"Thought so. Come on."
They were halfway to the garage before Viggo realized where they were going and dug in his feet, quite literally refusing to move another step despite Sean's urging. "No." How had he let it get this far? Orlando was upstairs with only Elijah to take care of him! He couldn't leave now... could he? Maybe... maybe Sean was right and he needed to take some time for himself, but not out of the house and away from Orlando. The more he thought, the more confused Viggo became. There were too many "what ifs" to consider. He couldn't take the chance. "No," he repeated, shaking his head to add emphasis.
"Yes."
"I'm not leaving. I can't."
"Why not?"
"Orlando."
"Viggo, listen to me." Sean stepped in front of Viggo and looked him straight in the eyes. "Orlando will be fine. Elijah is with him. Dominic and Billy are on their way over. I know they can be twats at times, but surely between the three of them they can handle things, yeah?"
"Billy's in town?" Viggo hadn't known. Last he'd heard, Billy had been off spending time with his sister and working on something.
"Everyone who could make it is in town. I assured them I could get you out all by myself, but I have backup if I need it. Do I need to ring Ian and Peter or are you going to come get a real breakfast with me?"
Viggo knew when he was outmaneuvered. "I'll come."
He could do this, it was only breakfast, right? He had to eat, and it would be nice to get out of the house and catch up with Sean. It wouldn't take that long. Afterwards, they could come back to the house where he could see Orlando and be there if anything happened.
It would be good for him.
So why was it so hard to walk out that door?
Chapter Eleven