Affirmation Chapter Nine
Title: Affirmation (Chapter Nine)
Author: Vanessa
Pairing: OB/VM
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When a tragic situation leaves Orlando broken and isolated will Viggo’s love and belief in him be strong enough to bring him back?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Warnings: Violence, Angst, and Character Death (Original Characters only).
Disclaimer: This is not true. I don’t know them, and I'm not making any claims about them in real life. It never happened.
Archive: Please don't.
Betas: The wonderful tamsu2002 & foxrafer
Author’s Notes: This is set in mid 2003. I obviously played with actual filming schedules. There's a lot of angst in this, but there will eventually be a happy ending, I promise.
~*~
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight
Banner by araestel.
Orlando snapped his eyes open and gasped. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He'd felt that; felt Viggo touching him, and not just the ghostly connection that had become "normal" for him anymore. That had been real; he'd been there. He'd really, truly felt that.
He was absolutely, certifiably insane.
He flung himself from the chair and started pacing the room, cursing under his breath. He could still hear that other Viggo's desperate pleading, but it no longer tugged at his heart. Now it terrified him and he wanted nothing more than to block it out.
It got more persistent, more desperate, and Orlando fumbled for the remote. When the television clicked on, he hit the volume button, turning it up until he could no longer hear that other Viggo's voice. He didn't know what the show was and didn't care; he just needed the noise to drown out the voice in his head.
The yelling from the talk show guests didn't quite block out that other voice, but it gave Orlando something else on which to concentrate. He listened with rapt attention to every argument and sob story. Even the adverts were interesting, for they were something else to focus on until the voice quieted and he could think.
He needed a new plan, a new way to deal with this.
He couldn't ever let himself be distracted like that again.
Gradually, the desperate begging and pleading quieted, and was replaced by what Orlando had become used to - that other Viggo talking about everything and nothing. Orlando didn't dare concentrate on that either, but he relaxed his guard enough to dig out a DVD and settle back on the couch to watch it.
As the opening credits rolled across the screen, the other Viggo's voice faded to the back of his mind until he could barely hear it at all.
~*~
The chimes of the doorbell echoed through the house, their bright tones in direct contrast with Viggo's dark mood. It took him a moment to shake his melancholy enough to move at all, and when he did it was at the speed of an old, arthritic tortoise. By the time he got to the door, all but the most determined of people would have decided that no one was home, but a look through the peephole revealed two figures still waiting.
Viggo hesitated, his hand hovering over the doorknob. He didn't want visitors and Dominic and Elijah didn't look like they'd be put off with excuses today. Maybe he could pretend he and Orlando weren't home.
He had just turned to walk away when a heavy pounding on the door made him jump.
"Viggo! I know you're in there! I can see your car in the garage! Stop hiding and open the door!"
So much for that idea. With a heavy sigh, Viggo turned, ran his fingers through his hair, and opened the door. He didn’t have a chance to say anything before Dominic and Elijah both pushed past him and into the house.
They waited until he'd shut and locked the door again and then pounced on him together, enveloping him in a three way hug that knocked the air from his lungs.
"How is he?"
"How are you?"
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"
Viggo pulled free and held up his hands against the continuing barrage of questions. "Nothing has changed," he managed in a moment of silence, but he knew they would hear the lie as soon as he said it.
The atmosphere in the foyer immediately changed.
"What happened, Viggo?" Dominic laid a gentle hand on Viggo's arm. Beside him Elijah nodded, his blue eyes wider now with fresh worry.
"Not here." Orlando had already been alone for too long.
"Of course. Where is he?"
Viggo nodded gratefully at Elijah. "Upstairs." He indicated for them to go on into the living room. "I'll bring him down."
Both Dominic and Elijah looked like they wanted to say something else, but after a moment they nodded and went into the other room. Viggo went to gently coax Orlando downstairs.
Dominic and Elijah had helped themselves to drinks and there was one sitting out for Viggo as well. He sipped from it gratefully after settling Orlando on the couch next to him.
"We weren't sure if Orlando would want one or not."
"It's not really a matter of want, Elijah. He'll eat or drink if I tell him to, but he doesn't..." Viggo trailed off, not quite able to make himself finish.
"Right, sorry." Elijah slumped down in the chair and began chewing on an almost-gone thumbnail.
"It's okay." The kid hadn't meant any harm by it, and Viggo was far too sensitive today. He shouldn't have opened the door, determined pounding or no.
"So what happened, Viggo?"
Viggo closed his eyes and swallowed hard before beginning his second recounting of that morning's events. He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, unable to watch Dominic and Elijah. He was afraid of how they would react, afraid they would think it was a figment of his imagination or would somehow know the doctor had said it was likely just a fluke.
He needn't have feared.
When he opened his eyes, he found them leaning forward in their chairs, looking at him with wide eyes and rapt expressions. There wasn't the slightest hint of doubt on either face.
"So that's good, right? I mean, he's trying to get back, right?"
Viggo glanced at the still young man next to him before returning his gaze to Elijah. "I don't know. The doctor..." He took a deep breath, tried again. "The doctor seems to think that I might have imagined it or if I didn't, that it might just be a fluke." He looked down at his hands and shook his head. "None of them are holding out much hope any more."
Dominic scrambled across the room and sat on the floor in front of Viggo. "You know him better than they do, Vig. What do you think?"
He took a deep breath and let it all out in one big puff of air. "I thought...I thought he was coming back, but then he was gone so quickly." He glanced at Orlando again. There was still no change, no indication that he was aware of anything at all. "Maybe I did imagine it."
"Don't doubt yourself, Viggo." Elijah joined them on the couch, sitting close on Viggo's other side. "You know what you saw, and you know Orli. Do you really think he's staying away from you because he wants to?"
Viggo shook his head. "No."
"Then trust him, all right? Whatever you're doing, it's obviously working some. Just give him time."
Dominic looked up at Elijah, a slightly awed expression on his face. "When did you get so smart, Doodle?"
"I've been hiding it." Elijah stuck his nose up in the air. "Been fooling all of you all along."
Even Viggo had to laugh at the preposterous expression on Elijah's face. He tried to fight it, feeling somehow that he should keep being melancholy and somber, but the bubble of amusement rose within him and burst to the surface despite his best efforts to keep it suppressed.
Elijah leaned his head on Viggo's shoulder and smiled at him. "Much better. We can't have our King moping all the time."
"I'm not the King, Lijah."
"Well, not yet, but soon. Premieres start in four months."
Viggo stiffened and pulled away as the tiny bubble of happiness was crushed under a wave of panic. Four months was a long time, but not too soon to start planning. The message from Peter that still lingered unanswered on the machine suddenly seemed less from a concerned friend and more from a worried boss trying to plan his big event. "That's too soon."
"You don't know that."
Viggo didn't know it, but he feared it. He feared that the doctors were right and that his hopes were in vain. He feared that the time for the premieres would come and he would be obligated to appear...and leave Orlando behind. He was afraid, but he was even more afraid to admit his fears, for that would make them more real and somehow more likely to come true.
It was illogical, but rationality rarely played a part in fears or desires.
"No, I don't." Viggo debated saying more, but before he could decide, there was a sudden weight on his shoulder and not from the side Elijah was on. Orlando was slumped over, his eyes closed, his body limp, and his breathing deep and even. He had just fallen asleep in the middle of the afternoon for no apparent reason and with no warning.
"Um, does he do that a lot?" Dominic waved a hand in Orlando's general direction.
"He's never done it before." Viggo brushed a stray curl back into Orlando's hair and kept stroking his fingers through the soft curls. "When he first came home he would fall asleep sometimes because of the medications for his injuries, but there would be warning signs. Since he's been off those, he's only slept at night when I've put him in bed."
"Maybe this is good." Elijah caught Viggo's arm and gently pulled his hand free of Orlando's hair. "It's different. It might be progress."
It felt more like a step backwards than forwards, but maybe Elijah was right and any change was good. "Maybe," Viggo whispered as he tugged his arm free of Elijah's grip and planted it firmly in his lap. "Maybe."
~*~
The shrill ringing of the phone woke Orlando, but for the first moment he was too elated to even think about fumbling for it. When the movie had ended, he'd stretched out on the couch with the intention of trying to nap, and he'd succeeded. His other self hadn't shown any indication of sleeping soon, but he'd been bored and decided that it couldn't hurt to try. Somehow, it had worked.
If he'd been more awake, he would have done a little victory celebration, but he was still tired so he settled for a chipper "hello" as he answered the phone.
"My, you're in a good mood tonight."
Orlando's smile widened. It was Viggo. The day was getting better and better. "Yes, I am."
"Care to tell me why?"
Oh, shit, not really. Viggo wouldn't understand why he was so excited about a nap in the afternoon unless Orlando explained a lot more and he wasn't ready to do that yet. What could he say? "I saw it was you on the Caller ID." There. That would work.
"Ah. Well, I was just calling to let you know that I would be home Friday morning."
"I thought you were coming home on Thursday."
"I said I had to stay through Thursday, Orlando. I'll be home Friday morning."
"Okay." The coldness in Viggo's voice seeped into Orlando's bones and he shivered. His accomplishment no longer seemed so marvelous, for he couldn't share it with the person he most wanted to, and he doubted Viggo would care anyway. "Do you need me to pick you up?"
"No. I just wanted to let you know while I had a minute. I need to go. I'll see you on Friday."
"Right." Orlando took a deep breath. "I love you."
"Me too."
The phone call ended abruptly, leaving Orlando holding a dead line in his shaking hand. "Bye," he whispered and then fell back into a reclining position and closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to well up.
~*~
Elijah looked at the time on his phone, calculated the time difference - twice - and tried to decide if it was late enough for a phone call to England. He couldn't remember what Sean was doing, but it was getting late in Los Angeles, and he didn't particularly feel like waiting until morning to call.
Fuck it. If Sean wasn't up, he should be. This was important enough to wake him.
A sleepy voice answered after two rings. "'Lo?"
"Beanie! How are you?"
"Sleeping. Haven't you learned how to tell time yet, Lijah? It's half-eight on a Saturday morning. This had better be important."
Elijah immediately dropped the false cheerfulness of his greeting. "It is."
"What happened?" It was amazing how fast Sean could go from asleep to wide awake.
"Nothing's happened, really, it's just, well..." Elijah shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to tell Sean the latest news on Orlando and Viggo and how though Viggo seemed glad of their company when they forced the issue by showing up, he still hardly answered the phone and flat out refused to let anyone help care for Orlando.
The silence on the other end of the line was as telling as the quiet, "Fuck," that followed.
"Yeah. We tried, but...I thought maybe he'd listen to you." Elijah ignored the quiet snort and pressed on. "Could you call him and try to talk some sense into him, please?"
"I've been calling almost every day. I'm one of the unanswered calls."
"Fuck, Sean, I'd thought for sure that he'd answer for you."
"So had I. I'd just assumed I was calling at the wrong time. However," Sean's voice took on a cunning tone, "I think I may have an idea."
"Oh?" Elijah leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees as he listened.
Chapter Ten
Author: Vanessa
Pairing: OB/VM
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When a tragic situation leaves Orlando broken and isolated will Viggo’s love and belief in him be strong enough to bring him back?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Warnings: Violence, Angst, and Character Death (Original Characters only).
Disclaimer: This is not true. I don’t know them, and I'm not making any claims about them in real life. It never happened.
Archive: Please don't.
Betas: The wonderful tamsu2002 & foxrafer
Author’s Notes: This is set in mid 2003. I obviously played with actual filming schedules. There's a lot of angst in this, but there will eventually be a happy ending, I promise.
~*~
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight
Banner by araestel.
Orlando snapped his eyes open and gasped. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He'd felt that; felt Viggo touching him, and not just the ghostly connection that had become "normal" for him anymore. That had been real; he'd been there. He'd really, truly felt that.
He was absolutely, certifiably insane.
He flung himself from the chair and started pacing the room, cursing under his breath. He could still hear that other Viggo's desperate pleading, but it no longer tugged at his heart. Now it terrified him and he wanted nothing more than to block it out.
It got more persistent, more desperate, and Orlando fumbled for the remote. When the television clicked on, he hit the volume button, turning it up until he could no longer hear that other Viggo's voice. He didn't know what the show was and didn't care; he just needed the noise to drown out the voice in his head.
The yelling from the talk show guests didn't quite block out that other voice, but it gave Orlando something else on which to concentrate. He listened with rapt attention to every argument and sob story. Even the adverts were interesting, for they were something else to focus on until the voice quieted and he could think.
He needed a new plan, a new way to deal with this.
He couldn't ever let himself be distracted like that again.
Gradually, the desperate begging and pleading quieted, and was replaced by what Orlando had become used to - that other Viggo talking about everything and nothing. Orlando didn't dare concentrate on that either, but he relaxed his guard enough to dig out a DVD and settle back on the couch to watch it.
As the opening credits rolled across the screen, the other Viggo's voice faded to the back of his mind until he could barely hear it at all.
~*~
The chimes of the doorbell echoed through the house, their bright tones in direct contrast with Viggo's dark mood. It took him a moment to shake his melancholy enough to move at all, and when he did it was at the speed of an old, arthritic tortoise. By the time he got to the door, all but the most determined of people would have decided that no one was home, but a look through the peephole revealed two figures still waiting.
Viggo hesitated, his hand hovering over the doorknob. He didn't want visitors and Dominic and Elijah didn't look like they'd be put off with excuses today. Maybe he could pretend he and Orlando weren't home.
He had just turned to walk away when a heavy pounding on the door made him jump.
"Viggo! I know you're in there! I can see your car in the garage! Stop hiding and open the door!"
So much for that idea. With a heavy sigh, Viggo turned, ran his fingers through his hair, and opened the door. He didn’t have a chance to say anything before Dominic and Elijah both pushed past him and into the house.
They waited until he'd shut and locked the door again and then pounced on him together, enveloping him in a three way hug that knocked the air from his lungs.
"How is he?"
"How are you?"
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"
Viggo pulled free and held up his hands against the continuing barrage of questions. "Nothing has changed," he managed in a moment of silence, but he knew they would hear the lie as soon as he said it.
The atmosphere in the foyer immediately changed.
"What happened, Viggo?" Dominic laid a gentle hand on Viggo's arm. Beside him Elijah nodded, his blue eyes wider now with fresh worry.
"Not here." Orlando had already been alone for too long.
"Of course. Where is he?"
Viggo nodded gratefully at Elijah. "Upstairs." He indicated for them to go on into the living room. "I'll bring him down."
Both Dominic and Elijah looked like they wanted to say something else, but after a moment they nodded and went into the other room. Viggo went to gently coax Orlando downstairs.
Dominic and Elijah had helped themselves to drinks and there was one sitting out for Viggo as well. He sipped from it gratefully after settling Orlando on the couch next to him.
"We weren't sure if Orlando would want one or not."
"It's not really a matter of want, Elijah. He'll eat or drink if I tell him to, but he doesn't..." Viggo trailed off, not quite able to make himself finish.
"Right, sorry." Elijah slumped down in the chair and began chewing on an almost-gone thumbnail.
"It's okay." The kid hadn't meant any harm by it, and Viggo was far too sensitive today. He shouldn't have opened the door, determined pounding or no.
"So what happened, Viggo?"
Viggo closed his eyes and swallowed hard before beginning his second recounting of that morning's events. He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, unable to watch Dominic and Elijah. He was afraid of how they would react, afraid they would think it was a figment of his imagination or would somehow know the doctor had said it was likely just a fluke.
He needn't have feared.
When he opened his eyes, he found them leaning forward in their chairs, looking at him with wide eyes and rapt expressions. There wasn't the slightest hint of doubt on either face.
"So that's good, right? I mean, he's trying to get back, right?"
Viggo glanced at the still young man next to him before returning his gaze to Elijah. "I don't know. The doctor..." He took a deep breath, tried again. "The doctor seems to think that I might have imagined it or if I didn't, that it might just be a fluke." He looked down at his hands and shook his head. "None of them are holding out much hope any more."
Dominic scrambled across the room and sat on the floor in front of Viggo. "You know him better than they do, Vig. What do you think?"
He took a deep breath and let it all out in one big puff of air. "I thought...I thought he was coming back, but then he was gone so quickly." He glanced at Orlando again. There was still no change, no indication that he was aware of anything at all. "Maybe I did imagine it."
"Don't doubt yourself, Viggo." Elijah joined them on the couch, sitting close on Viggo's other side. "You know what you saw, and you know Orli. Do you really think he's staying away from you because he wants to?"
Viggo shook his head. "No."
"Then trust him, all right? Whatever you're doing, it's obviously working some. Just give him time."
Dominic looked up at Elijah, a slightly awed expression on his face. "When did you get so smart, Doodle?"
"I've been hiding it." Elijah stuck his nose up in the air. "Been fooling all of you all along."
Even Viggo had to laugh at the preposterous expression on Elijah's face. He tried to fight it, feeling somehow that he should keep being melancholy and somber, but the bubble of amusement rose within him and burst to the surface despite his best efforts to keep it suppressed.
Elijah leaned his head on Viggo's shoulder and smiled at him. "Much better. We can't have our King moping all the time."
"I'm not the King, Lijah."
"Well, not yet, but soon. Premieres start in four months."
Viggo stiffened and pulled away as the tiny bubble of happiness was crushed under a wave of panic. Four months was a long time, but not too soon to start planning. The message from Peter that still lingered unanswered on the machine suddenly seemed less from a concerned friend and more from a worried boss trying to plan his big event. "That's too soon."
"You don't know that."
Viggo didn't know it, but he feared it. He feared that the doctors were right and that his hopes were in vain. He feared that the time for the premieres would come and he would be obligated to appear...and leave Orlando behind. He was afraid, but he was even more afraid to admit his fears, for that would make them more real and somehow more likely to come true.
It was illogical, but rationality rarely played a part in fears or desires.
"No, I don't." Viggo debated saying more, but before he could decide, there was a sudden weight on his shoulder and not from the side Elijah was on. Orlando was slumped over, his eyes closed, his body limp, and his breathing deep and even. He had just fallen asleep in the middle of the afternoon for no apparent reason and with no warning.
"Um, does he do that a lot?" Dominic waved a hand in Orlando's general direction.
"He's never done it before." Viggo brushed a stray curl back into Orlando's hair and kept stroking his fingers through the soft curls. "When he first came home he would fall asleep sometimes because of the medications for his injuries, but there would be warning signs. Since he's been off those, he's only slept at night when I've put him in bed."
"Maybe this is good." Elijah caught Viggo's arm and gently pulled his hand free of Orlando's hair. "It's different. It might be progress."
It felt more like a step backwards than forwards, but maybe Elijah was right and any change was good. "Maybe," Viggo whispered as he tugged his arm free of Elijah's grip and planted it firmly in his lap. "Maybe."
~*~
The shrill ringing of the phone woke Orlando, but for the first moment he was too elated to even think about fumbling for it. When the movie had ended, he'd stretched out on the couch with the intention of trying to nap, and he'd succeeded. His other self hadn't shown any indication of sleeping soon, but he'd been bored and decided that it couldn't hurt to try. Somehow, it had worked.
If he'd been more awake, he would have done a little victory celebration, but he was still tired so he settled for a chipper "hello" as he answered the phone.
"My, you're in a good mood tonight."
Orlando's smile widened. It was Viggo. The day was getting better and better. "Yes, I am."
"Care to tell me why?"
Oh, shit, not really. Viggo wouldn't understand why he was so excited about a nap in the afternoon unless Orlando explained a lot more and he wasn't ready to do that yet. What could he say? "I saw it was you on the Caller ID." There. That would work.
"Ah. Well, I was just calling to let you know that I would be home Friday morning."
"I thought you were coming home on Thursday."
"I said I had to stay through Thursday, Orlando. I'll be home Friday morning."
"Okay." The coldness in Viggo's voice seeped into Orlando's bones and he shivered. His accomplishment no longer seemed so marvelous, for he couldn't share it with the person he most wanted to, and he doubted Viggo would care anyway. "Do you need me to pick you up?"
"No. I just wanted to let you know while I had a minute. I need to go. I'll see you on Friday."
"Right." Orlando took a deep breath. "I love you."
"Me too."
The phone call ended abruptly, leaving Orlando holding a dead line in his shaking hand. "Bye," he whispered and then fell back into a reclining position and closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to well up.
~*~
Elijah looked at the time on his phone, calculated the time difference - twice - and tried to decide if it was late enough for a phone call to England. He couldn't remember what Sean was doing, but it was getting late in Los Angeles, and he didn't particularly feel like waiting until morning to call.
Fuck it. If Sean wasn't up, he should be. This was important enough to wake him.
A sleepy voice answered after two rings. "'Lo?"
"Beanie! How are you?"
"Sleeping. Haven't you learned how to tell time yet, Lijah? It's half-eight on a Saturday morning. This had better be important."
Elijah immediately dropped the false cheerfulness of his greeting. "It is."
"What happened?" It was amazing how fast Sean could go from asleep to wide awake.
"Nothing's happened, really, it's just, well..." Elijah shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to tell Sean the latest news on Orlando and Viggo and how though Viggo seemed glad of their company when they forced the issue by showing up, he still hardly answered the phone and flat out refused to let anyone help care for Orlando.
The silence on the other end of the line was as telling as the quiet, "Fuck," that followed.
"Yeah. We tried, but...I thought maybe he'd listen to you." Elijah ignored the quiet snort and pressed on. "Could you call him and try to talk some sense into him, please?"
"I've been calling almost every day. I'm one of the unanswered calls."
"Fuck, Sean, I'd thought for sure that he'd answer for you."
"So had I. I'd just assumed I was calling at the wrong time. However," Sean's voice took on a cunning tone, "I think I may have an idea."
"Oh?" Elijah leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees as he listened.
Chapter Ten