{Nineteen} &diams It's another perfect day

[burntorangesky]

Has anyone else been having difficulty with their chairs? Mine start singing and moving about whenever I try to sit in them

Comments

[subject_e0057]

Chairs, Fred?

[burntorangesky]

Yes, chairs. Try sitting in one, please; I want to know if mine is an isolated event.

Translation: It is way too early for science.

[subject_e0057]

...Is this urgent, or may I get some coffee and a warning, first?

.Blasphemy, it's never too early for science.

[burntorangesky]

It isn't urgent, no. The warning is: every time I sit in one, it bursts into song. So far I have been subjected to
-Some sort of jingle for [pause] I think it was singing about cat food of some sort
-A song of either nonsense words or a language I did not know
-A song comparing bananas to phones [pen taps] I think that is what it was singing about.

They also move about until you get up from the chair.

[blindedmewith]

EARTH food?

[burntorangesky]

Yes, exactly.

[blindedmewith]

What other kind of food is there?

[burntorangesky]

Food from worlds that are not Earth, of course.

[stonyfaced]

Where's Earth? Doesn't sound like they were too creative with their naming scheme.

[burntorangesky]

The third planet in the Sol system, located in the outer spiral of the Milky Way galaxy. [Pause, pen taps.] Interesting. Of course, since we don't know where we are in relation to that, it doesn't really mean anything.

Perhaps not; but it is a name that seems to work well enough.

His world is a disc and is in permanent quasi-medieval stasis. XD DOES NOT COMPUTE.

[stonyfaced]

[There's a moment of hesitation as he tries to figure it out and realizes that none of that made sense. At all.] Sorry, run that by me again? The what system in the... what?

Rofl, I love it.

[burntorangesky]

[Slight pause; there's no other way she can think to say it.] Erm, well. I believe it is a method the inhabitants of Earth used to give their planet a location in the overall universe; but as I said it doesn't really mean anything here.

[ice_echani]

Earth is the name of your homeworld?

[burntorangesky]

Definitely not. But the overwhelming majority of residents here seem to be Humans from Earth.

[ghost_of_00]

[jaggedy writing.]

I will retrieve food from the Wilderness.

These chairs are not normal.

00

[burntorangesky]

Thank you, 00. I anticipate we will all be making our meals from what the Wilderness is currently offering for the foreseeable future; do not worry about getting food for more than a few meals, we can always go back for more if we need it.

Yes, I think 'normal' is the last word that can be used to describe the way they are currently acting. 'Weird', 'strange', and 'decidedly odd' spring far more readily to mind when describing them.

[ghost_of_00]

Understood.

They sing, but they stop when the person stands. Do you think they are alive?

[burntorangesky]

[Pause. This didn't even occur to her, so it takes her a second to think of a good explanation.]

They do not seem to need to eat or breathe, so they are most likely not alive. My guess is that some sort of mechanism located within the body of the chair makes them move and sing. I will have to take a closer look at one later, and see if I can discover how it is being moved.