a brief taste of "hetero" dysfunction

[buria_q]

what an experience it's been. waste of hours and emotional energy trying to turn things over and over in my head. our friend was screaming at me on the phone last night; i finally cut ties with him.

Comments

[dottieneurotic]

AAAAAUUUUUGHHHH

I have been there. I have absolutely been there. And his name is Sexual Chocolate.

Don't feel disappointed! It'll be weird and murky and painful and you'll want to apologize for days but you can't do it. You were 100% in the right.

[buria_q]

thank you. i knew you'd get it.

[buria_q]

although i don't want to apologize, i wanted to be able to let it out :/

[dottieneurotic]

I've been reliving all of this stuff a little bit in my head since my terrible discovery (and rereading my diary and realizing I had blocked out SO MUCH from those days) and I had a really good conversation with my friend K about her similar experience with an absolutely toxic person-- though her experience was considerably worse than mine-- and she was telling me about how telling her story was giving her some closure and I realized mine wasn't giving me closure at all-- in fact, it was only making me more angry that I let him just bowl me over in a lot of ways. I mean, I obviously mouthed off to him enough that he made like a banana, but I just wish I had started sooner.

TL;DR: You figured this out way sooner than I did, and thank goodness for that.

[buria_q]

thank you <3