Weird introspective mumblings

[bumpercub]

Well it has been months and months since I have written anything in my journal. I was/am intimidated by having family members read my life and interpret the dealings that go on within it. Some things I just dont care for my family to know about, but I really have nothing to hide. I am happy with my life, my decisions, and my relationship, and I

Comments

[nofearcavalier]

I really hate the idea that I'm having a relationship with someone's 'intentions' . . ie. 'buffer'. I don't think that I need a buffer, I'm pretty straight-forward about what I want and need. When I say that I want to be alone, I mean it. I'm not going to attempt to lure you toward my 'secret pain' by making you do all the work; if I want help or affection, I'll ask for it and I have no problem admitting to myself when I need your attention, even if I don't always reach out for it when I should. You, on the other hand, work in this ephemeral world where what you 'say' is not always what you 'want' because something about asking for it directly . . . .what, I don't even WHAT. It's like you're afraid of causing some unfortunate-SOMETHING that could have been avoided had you've been more delicate or circuitous. Please be direct, tell me how you feel . . and if you can't, tell me WHY you can't

[nofearcavalier]

I really hate the idea that I'm having a relationship with someone's 'intentions' . . ie. 'buffer'. I don't think that I need a buffer, I'm pretty straight-forward about what I want and need. When I say that I want to be alone, I mean it. I'm not going to attempt to lure you toward my 'secret pain' by making you do all the work; if I want help or affection, I'll ask for it and I have no problem admitting to myself when I need your attention, even if I don't always reach out for it when I should. You, on the other hand, work in this ephemeral world where what you 'say' is not always what you 'want' because something about asking for it directly . . . .what, I don't even know WHAT. It's like you're afraid of causing some unfortunate-SOMETHING that could have been avoided had you've been more delicate or circuitous. Please be direct, tell me how you feel . . and if you can't, tell me WHY you can't