peas in a POD

[bubblingbeebles]

i am anxious about how to manage the size of the groups one hangs out with. whether it's a regular activity or a one-off get-together (most commonly, dinner), i seem to keep falling into this pattern where, as long as i'm in charge, the count of people involved seems to grow past the limits of what i'm comfortable with. for any particular person

Comments

[bubblingbeebles]

yeah, that can be hit-or-miss with annoyance.

[mklip2001]

If somebody wants to bring other people along in a group setting, I think it's alright to say outright, "I would prefer to have at most X people" where X is your number of choice. People bringing other people into a group are usually doing so under the assumption that more people = better, and this isn't a true assumption a fair bit of the time. Besides, anyone who fights you over this number, claiming that you're being a spoilsport, is someone who doesn't have your best interests in mind anyway. This is totally an area where being a little selfish can be a good thing.

[bubblingbeebles]

yeah. i try to say "i'd like for the group not to get too big", but it's hard to decide where to draw the line. i've been trying to encourage myself to think selfish is okay.

[valantrapitor]

You could also narrow the channels that you communicate on, if you wish to remain more polite. Often people will bother you about joining you less if you plan over the phone as opposed to talking to people in the cluster. For those who are in the cluster at the time, you can reach them via PM as opposed to open talking as well. That's how I usually play the game - if I don't want to grab 3 random guys from the cluster on top of my planned group, I simply don't mention it loudly in public conversation. Usually works out pretty well.

[bubblingbeebles]

i only recently acquired a taste for large groups

i have yet to feel like i need this (rarely, maybe?), probably because i hang out in the cluster all the time.

knowing this makes me feel more secure in my decision to be selective.

:)

sunday brunch protocol

yeah, i hope to attend more of those than last semester!

[wjl]

yay! on both counts :)