sitting on the corner of walnut and negley before a run in the heavy fog of a cold morning is a fitting setting for contemplating upset. this week has been one huge mood swing after another
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this mantra was definitely inspired, at some level, by meditation practice.
it was sort of one of those wordless concepts that i draw on when taking care of myself, and today i chose words for it. i kind of like the words for any application of it, though, not just this one.
as for criticism of myself: i've gotten much better at catching/recognising myself at doing second darts (or third, or...). but actually decreasing the amount i get into it in the first place needs... more advanced technique.
Yeah, you definitely do a lot of the "second darts without first ones" thing, from what I've noticed.. Glad to hear you're trying to correct your perceptions in that regard. (And I really do mean I'm glad. I hope this doesn't come off as "too honest", i.e, hurtfully so. I'd be happy to talk about it sometime..)
I have to object to the whole "first dart" concept, though -- it seems needlessly hopeless and defeatist. I mean, sure, bad things happen sometimes, but that doesn't mean you need to build your whole ideology around them -- after all, good things happen, too! What does Buddhism call random goodnesses? Where are its "first smiles", "first loves", "first rainbows", "first sunrises", or "first smells of Fall"? And to what extend does it encourage spontaneous internal second instances of these even when faced with a dearth of first ones?
oop, somehow i meant to answer this and forgot about it.
it seems needlessly hopeless and defeatist.
isn't that just a pessimistic way of saying "realist"? bad shit does happen (and as fragile as i end up being in the wake of tearing down all my old limiting defence mechanisms, bad shit hits me extremely hard), and effective problem-solving is just as necessary as problem-avoidance/"ignorance
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it was sort of one of those wordless concepts that i draw on when taking care of myself, and today i chose words for it. i kind of like the words for any application of it, though, not just this one.
as for criticism of myself: i've gotten much better at catching/recognising myself at doing second darts (or third, or...). but actually decreasing the amount i get into it in the first place needs... more advanced technique.
when are you back in town?
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I have to object to the whole "first dart" concept, though -- it seems needlessly hopeless and defeatist. I mean, sure, bad things happen sometimes, but that doesn't mean you need to build your whole ideology around them -- after all, good things happen, too! What does Buddhism call random goodnesses? Where are its "first smiles", "first loves", "first rainbows", "first sunrises", or "first smells of Fall"? And to what extend does it encourage spontaneous internal second instances of these even when faced with a dearth of first ones?
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it seems needlessly hopeless and defeatist.
isn't that just a pessimistic way of saying "realist"? bad shit does happen (and as fragile as i end up being in the wake of tearing down all my old limiting defence mechanisms, bad shit hits me extremely hard), and effective problem-solving is just as necessary as problem-avoidance/"ignorance ( ... )
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hope yours was good too.
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