Nice work! I remember the original (I beta'd for it) but I decided not to re-read it so that I could view this one on its own. I think you've done an excellent job of getting inside Kara's head and amping up the tension, really letting us feel her frustration and uncertainty. I love that it's not just a matter of 'should she shoot the cylon,' and that it's all wrapped up in whether or not she can pull the trigger when the Old Man calls. I love that she orders the guard to leave and that she briefly considers shooting Gaius. And I really love that Lee offers to shoot Cain for her, and that Kara can't break her promise to him.
And then there's this: Less than twelve hours from now she fully intended to follow orders and murder her commanding officer. And yet here she was, strangely thankful that she hadn’t had to kill the Cylon prisoner.
Letting the water trickle uncomfortably down her neck, Kara realized the difference.
She’d do as ordered…as long as it came from an Adama.Wonderful--the perfect amount of self-awareness for Kara
( ... )
Ha! I noticed you guessed right that I wrote this one. Was wondering if you'd recognize my style (assuming here I have one :)
Very happy the forces pulling at her and her conflicted emotions came off. I couldn't see how an order like this from Cain could be separated from the one from Adama. I love the Pegasus arc and there's so much there to work with that I don't feel that people have explored (I'm working on a long piece that closely echoes this--but months off from posting)
Wow, this fic totally sucked me in! Honestly, I thought it was going to be more of a Kara/Lee fic, and while I like those characters separately for different reasons, I'm not into them as a ship at all. But I really enjoyed this exploration of Kara's psyche and what motivated her to fall so hard for Cain, because I've always kind of wondered. I think you did an admirable job explaining a lot of that too me, and one thing that I hadn't really considered, was how much Cain resembles Socrata Thrace in demeanor and expectations. Like Socrata, Cain treats Kara as both special and both as kind of a diamond in the rough needing to be harshly polished and tested repeatedly. What made me suddenly realized this was this section:
Holding to her silence, Kara knew better than to try to explain. The Admiral wasn’t here looking for answers, she was here to punish. Stammered excuses would only made her look weak. So, even as Cain paced a slow circle around her, Kara held her tongue
( ... )
Kara/Lee are where my heart resides, but I don't see one of them only in how he/she relates to the other. There is so much to explore with the characters and actions as they relate to others. And I wished that the Cain/Kara dynamic had had longer to evolve. It makes sense that Kara would have been drawn to this type of personality and, though she isn't shown as an impressionable nugget, Kara always struck me as being very vulnerable in ways that Cain would have exploited.
Glad that the other characters didn't wander OOC. Sometimes they sneak away when I'm not paying attention :^) Thanks for the R&R and all your kind words!
A long-delayed responsekag523May 14 2011, 03:24:58 UTC
what I LOVE about this fic...
First, the depth of internalization of Kara's need to follow those orders - gah! It hurts me to read her like this, but it is so very much who she is in canon. Powerful view into her psyche!
I also adore the subtle showing rather than 'telling'. For instance, the way that Kara is playing with the safety of her gun, and the stances you've described for each character. I can SEE THEM actually doing the things you've set up. It's a great dance of action and reaction!
The interaction with Cain was probably my favorite part. I actually love your secondary characters because you give them such depth... I found myself very stressed by whether or not Kara could talk her way through it. And the throw backs - so subtly done - to her childhood were painfully really. Wow!
Not necessarily a happy ending but definitely a real one and that is something I prefer in any case. Fabulous!
Comments 14
And then there's this:
Less than twelve hours from now she fully intended to follow orders and murder her commanding officer. And yet here she was, strangely thankful that she hadn’t had to kill the Cylon prisoner.
Letting the water trickle uncomfortably down her neck, Kara realized the difference.
She’d do as ordered…as long as it came from an Adama.Wonderful--the perfect amount of self-awareness for Kara ( ... )
Reply
Very happy the forces pulling at her and her conflicted emotions came off. I couldn't see how an order like this from Cain could be separated from the one from Adama. I love the Pegasus arc and there's so much there to work with that I don't feel that people have explored (I'm working on a long piece that closely echoes this--but months off from posting)
Thanks as always for your thoughtful R&Rs!
Reply
Reply
Holding to her silence, Kara knew better than to try to explain. The Admiral wasn’t here looking for answers, she was here to punish. Stammered excuses would only made her look weak. So, even as Cain paced a slow circle around her, Kara held her tongue ( ... )
Reply
Glad that the other characters didn't wander OOC. Sometimes they sneak away when I'm not paying attention :^) Thanks for the R&R and all your kind words!
Reply
First, the depth of internalization of Kara's need to follow those orders - gah! It hurts me to read her like this, but it is so very much who she is in canon. Powerful view into her psyche!
I also adore the subtle showing rather than 'telling'. For instance, the way that Kara is playing with the safety of her gun, and the stances you've described for each character. I can SEE THEM actually doing the things you've set up. It's a great dance of action and reaction!
The interaction with Cain was probably my favorite part. I actually love your secondary characters because you give them such depth... I found myself very stressed by whether or not Kara could talk her way through it. And the throw backs - so subtly done - to her childhood were painfully really. Wow!
Not necessarily a happy ending but definitely a real one and that is something I prefer in any case. Fabulous!
Reply
Leave a comment