I Am Only One
Title: I Am Only One, by geekbynight
Summary: Just because you’re willing to offer help, doesn’t mean someone’s ready to accept it. When Athena looks through her sister’s memories she learns this lesson the hard way.
Characters: Athena, Felix Gaeta, Helo, Sweet!Eight
Pairings: Athena/Helo, mentions of Gaeta/Hoshi and Gaeta/Sweet Eight
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
beta-readers: trovia and plaid_slytherin
Title, Author and URL of original story: contact is inevitable, leading to information bleed by kappamaki33
Caprica wouldn’t take her to Hera right away and lingering in the resurrection chambers, surrounded by lifeless bodies identical to her own was something Athena had never been comfortable with. It hadn't been long before she had been carefully traversing the ship to her current destination. She didn’t want the others to know she was here, but at the same time, Hera wasn’t all she could leave with. Other Eights memories could provide tactical advantage for Galactica. Anything of military value would help justify her personal reasons for doing this.
It occurred to her that it hadn’t even crossed her mind whether she was going in the wrong direction on her way through the hallways. In a way it irked her, having left this life behind a long time ago but moving throughout the base ship as though she’d never been away.
No, it didn’t matter. She knew where her loyalties lay now.
Eventually she arrived in the memory stream room. Stepping up to her model’s channel Athena’s hands delved confidently into the cold liquid. It felt like touching a live wire, the familiar but long absent rush of acceptance and access to intimate knowledge causing her to close her eyes. For a moment she allowed herself to simply drift in the data. Then, an image caught her eye. It wasn’t of strategic importance, in fact it had no military value useful now, but it was so unexpected she isolated the connection.
It was Gaeta, and these weren’t Boomer’s memories. She probed deeper. A different Eight from New Caprica, one with a mission.
“Oh my God,” Athena breathed. Her fingers were shaking with the knowledge she was absorbing. No one had mentioned this, not Gaeta, not her husband and she knew he’d debriefed him. A pang shot through her stomach but she didn’t pull away.
Over and over she reviewed the data, until she was certain of its authenticity. Then, after lingering on the image of a list of names hastily scrawled on wrinkled paper, she withdrew her hands from the data stream.
“Never thought I’d see you here again.”
She spun, instantly regretting her unarmed state as her hand uselessly drifted to where she’d normally keep her sidearm. The Eight whose memories she’d just attained stood in the entry way, leaning up along the wall.
Athena frowned, “Can’t say I’m glad to be back,” she replied dismissively, stepping away from the stream pool and stalking towards the entrance.
Her intention was to simply pass by Eight. Just being in the same room as her made Athena tense and angry. As much as she’d love to put a bullet between her eyes, knowing what she’d done, Hera was her first priority. She didn’t need to draw any more attention to herself than she already had.
Eight grabbed her arm with enough force to make her still. Athena eyed her challengingly, daring her. Instead of violence however, her sister’s gaze softened.
“Why did you do it? Leave us, betray us?” The way it was spoken was like Eight already had her own answer for the question but wanted to hear Athena’s side to confirm or deny it.
She squared her shoulders, yanking her arm out of Eight’s grasp.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you. Want to tell me why you manipulated one of my friends down on New Caprica?”
Whatever warmth existed in Eight’s eyes vanished, “We’re at war Sharon. And he’s not your friend, he’s the enemy.”
“And here I thought you were trying to help the humans by going to New Caprica.”
“That’s Boomer and Caprica’s wishful thinking. It’s not reality. Human beings and Cylons aren’t meant to live together. It will always be Cylon blood running through your veins. You’ll always be like us.”
Athena stiffened, “You’re wrong.” Her voice was nearly a growl, “I’m nothing like you. I make my own decisions; I don’t blindly follow Cavil’s rhetoric.”
The last part touched a nerve. Eight stepped back like she’d been struck.
“I make my own decisions too! I may be another soldier, Sharon, but I know what the right side of this war is. Everything I did on New Caprica was to help my people win this war and I did it because I wanted to.”
“Well, there's your answer for why I left. You're lucky Gaeta figured you out,” Athena turned fully until she was right in Eight’s face. “You’d better hope I never see you again or I’ll kill you myself.”
Pushing past the Eight, she started for the entryway again. To her relief, Eight didn’t speak or try to stop her.
***
Athena saw Gaeta shortly after returning to Galactica. She hadn’t wanted to leave Hera’s side by the infirmary bed but with Helo off duty she knew her daughter was safe. It was time to go back to work.
Things were still slightly disorganized after Kat’s death, everyone still getting used to their new shifts. Normally Racetrack would drop Raptor run reports off in CIC before heading down to the pilot barracks but she was covering Karl’s shift so he could see Hera. Hardly anyone was thrilled by her daughter’s return and fewer more went out of their way to make things easier for Helo and her. Athena was more than happy to drop off the reports for her.
People still paused to look at her when she entered CIC. Athena had grown used to it fast, accepted it. Head high, she strode over to the Dradis console where Gaeta was sitting, hunched over a chart and papers.
“Gaeta?” she asked.
He jumped a bit, back tensing. Both gestures were subtle enough that if Athena hadn’t been watching him intently, she’d have missed it. It must have been the sound of her voice, exactly like her sisters and suddenly she wished she’d been more formal and used his rank.
Gaeta paused before turning, relief washing over his features. Now that she knew, it was written all over his face: It's not her. His smile didn’t make it to his eyes. Athena was having a hard time doing the same. I’m not her, she thought, wishing she felt as certain of that fact as Gaeta looked.
She held out the charts, “Reports for CAP and this morning’s Raptor runs.”
“Thank you Lieutenant” This time the relief was in his voice as he reached for the charts, “Saved me a trip down to the pilot barracks.” He nearly spat the word out, like it was some forsaken place he’d be content never to visit. Athena’s eyebrows rose.
“I thought Racetrack brought these to you.”
Gaeta grimaced, “Well, she used to before I and…Captain Thrace got back from New Caprica.” Athena didn’t miss the way Kara’s name was uttered in a similar tone. She tilted her head, the pieces falling into place quickly.
Gaeta had come down to the barracks a few times, his body language guarded, almost scared. As if he expected to be lynched any minute and if the other rumors were true, he had good reason to. Helo never told her whether or not the hit squad actually existed. Now Athena had an ugly suspicion that it wasn’t just a rumor, and an even darker hunch as to who was probably on it.
She may not have ever been a target of vigilante justice yet but Athena knew what it felt like, feeling you couldn’t trust anyone on your own side. Respect swelled in her, Gaeta was obviously trying to put the experience out of his mind and thanklessly go back to work. Just as she had done time and time again.
Then it occurred to her that her hand had never let go of the charts and neither had Gaeta’s, making for a rather awkward moment. She smiled apologetically. “It’s no problem, Lieutenant.”
The use of his rank seemed to put Gaeta at ease. He cleared his voice. “Also, the Admiral’s going to want to you debriefed about Cylon memory sharing. So we can implement the appropriate changes to our security systems and tactical planning.”
She nodded, but didn’t leave just yet, seeing an opening, “Gaeta.” Athena kept her voice low. “You did a good job on New Caprica.”
Gaeta glanced up from the charts at her in surprise; that must be something he rarely heard. There was also a wariness she understood; he was waiting for the follow up, the “but” and the accusations that would come with it. Athena stepped closer, leaning in so only he would hear her next words.
“And what happened with the Eight. It wasn’t your fault.”
He pulled away from her quickly, face pale and barely disguised panic in his eyes. “I’ll send someone down when your debriefing is scheduled.”
“If you need to talk to someone about it-“
“I’ve really got to go over these charts you brought me.” Gaeta wasn’t looking at her anymore.
Athena knew a dismissal (though it sounded more like a plea) when she heard one, “Thank you Lieutenant.” She left without another word, her heart thudding wildly against her chest.
***
She didn’t think of New Caprica or the Eight for a while after that. Once she had Hera back, all her focus fell on her. On having her child in her arms without it being a projection or a fleeting nightmare. No, she wasn’t like them. She was a mother.
While Felix Gaeta was a friend, one of the few people Athena could call a friend to herself and not just her husband, he’d never taken her up on the offer to talk and she wasn’t sure she wanted to press him on it. The way Eight had so skillfully played off his memories and feelings for Boomer brought uncomfortable thoughts of her own first interactions with Karl. She put it out of her mind.
Until the day Helo stormed in their quarters, fell back on the bed and put his head in his hands. Athena had just laid Hera down for a nap.
“Hey.” She sat beside him, placing a tender hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Helo sighed. “It’s Felix.”
“What about him? Is he hurt?”
“No but Baltar is, thanks to him. Felix stabbed him with a pen.”
“Felix Gaeta?”
“Yeah,” Helo shook his head, “I can hardly believe it too. Tigh called me because he thought Felix would talk to me but he won’t say a word.”
“Wait, what did Baltar do to him? There’s no way it wasn’t provoked.” Violence like that was so far out of Gaeta’s nature, there was no way it wasn’t provoked in some manner.
“That’s what Tigh wanted me to find out. He said there were worse things than being a traitor,” Athena stiffened, an empty feeling in her gut. “He whispered something in Felix’s ear. Then Felix stabbed him.”
“But he didn’t kill him.”
“No,” Helo laid all the way back, staring at the ceiling. “No he didn’t.”
“That’s too bad.” Athena held a hand up, already sensing her husband’s inevitable protest. “ I don’t want to start a fight. They didn’t put him in the brig, did they?”
This time Helo’s words were angry. “No, but they wanted to. Adama and Roslin at least, Tigh and Cottle talked them out of it. He’s in an isolated infirmary room.”
Athena lay back beside Helo, taking one of his hands and threading her fingers through his. He squeezed them tightly. “It just looked like things were getting better for him.” He turned on his side to better face her. “He’s been seeing that communications officer, actually managed to pick a good guy for once. A few weeks ago he was smiling, Sharon, a real smile, and now this…”
“Look, we both know Gaeta’s stronger than everyone thinks.” she assured him, using her free hand to lightly brush his face, “He’s made it through worse than this.”
“You didn’t see him, Sharon. The way he looked…”
“Maybe I should.”
Helo wasn’t quick enough to cover his doubtful expression. “You think he’ll talk to you? Dee couldn’t even get him to open up.”
Athena hardened her face, thinking of the Eight.
“Yeah,” she said. “He'll talk to me.”
***
If it had been anyone else, even knowing what she knew, Athena never would have done this. She may be wearing a Colonial uniform now but very few people accepted it out of anything but military duty, fewer still thought she’d earned it. Things were all right so far, there was no way she would risk frakking it up.
But Gaeta got it, understood she wasn’t just another Eight identical to all the rest. He was her friend.
Ishay led her to one of the few actual infirmary rooms, with a door rather than a privacy curtain. She whispered, “He’s just woken up from another sedation” before leaving.
He was sitting up in the bed, hands holding fistfuls of the white sheets. There was a bruise to the left side of his face and his eyes were red rimmed. Athena almost considered turning and leaving.
Any other Eight would have done that.
Instead, dragging a chair with her, she sat beside him. “Helo told me what happened. It’s too bad you didn’t have your gun.”
For the first time since she’d entered Gaeta acknowledged her presence, turning towards her in surprise. Athena could only imagine the half-hearted reprimands he’d probably already heard. She doubted though, that anyone higher up in the chain of command actually wanted Baltar to live. His death would have solved a lot of problems.
Even though Gaeta was looking at her now, he still didn’t speak. So she continued, “I heard what he said to you. You’re not a traitor.” Athena paused, and then realized there was really no good way of going about the next part. “You shouldn’t have trusted her like you did but she killed those people, not you.”
Gaeta’s eyes widened, reminding her of the look he’d given her that day in CIC. He turned away, staring straight forward at the door. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
It was a lie, they both knew that but it bothered Athena that Gaeta sounded like he actually believed it, or was trying hard to convince himself of it. She pressed on.
“You made a mistake, you trusted her too much. But there’s a reason you made it with her, another Eight. I know, I’ve been there with Helo. She used Boomer’s memories; she used what she knew about you. That you’re one of the few humans that knows we’re not all the same even though we look the same. And she took advantage of that, she played off your weaknesses and your hope.”
“I-“
“I’ve seen her memories, Gaeta,” Athena cut him off, “You know I know what I’m talking about.”
There wasn’t another instant denial. Instead Gaeta made a gasp that sounded close to a sob. He ran his hands through his hair. Watching him, Athena shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
“I didn’t know,” he murmured weakly, wrapping his arms around himself, “I didn’t know.”
She frowned, folding her arms. “Maybe you suspected but you didn’t know for sure.”
“There was nothing to suspect.”
“Gaeta, Felix.” Her hand fell on his knee. He flinched but Athena didn’t pull away, even though she wanted to. Why was he still doing that? She wasn’t her. “You know that’s not true. There were people you couldn’t find. Because they didn’t all make it out, she killed most of them.”
Gaeta’s head shook furiously. “No, no, she wouldn’t do that.” He shut his eyes tightly. Athena had the feeling that if he opened them and saw her, he might actually break down. “She was helping me.”
“No, Felix she wasn’t. I can hear it in your voice.” Athena’s voice hardened. Despite her best efforts, she was growing impatient. “I know, you suspected. She did too, that’s why she made sure you saw some of them.”
“It’s not true.”
“Felix!” Her voice rose, almost in a yell. “Why are you lying to yourself?”
That was the final straw; his hands pushed hers off his knee. “Get out!”
Athena sat back in her chair, hugely disappointed.
When she didn’t move, Gaeta whispered, “Sharon, please.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, tipping her head back. This was never going work, not now, not today. He wasn’t ready to face the truth of what had happened.
Athena stood up, pushing the chair back against the wall. She spared him one last glance as she opened the door.
This place was a haven but it could also be a prison, with or without you being in the brig. And Athena knew from experience, no one was going to start unlocking the gates and chains until you yourself decided not to stay behind the bars forever.
You had to start pulling yourself out before anyone would think to offer a hand.
She hoped Gaeta would realize that before it was too late.
Summary: Just because you’re willing to offer help, doesn’t mean someone’s ready to accept it. When Athena looks through her sister’s memories she learns this lesson the hard way.
Characters: Athena, Felix Gaeta, Helo, Sweet!Eight
Pairings: Athena/Helo, mentions of Gaeta/Hoshi and Gaeta/Sweet Eight
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
beta-readers: trovia and plaid_slytherin
Title, Author and URL of original story: contact is inevitable, leading to information bleed by kappamaki33
Caprica wouldn’t take her to Hera right away and lingering in the resurrection chambers, surrounded by lifeless bodies identical to her own was something Athena had never been comfortable with. It hadn't been long before she had been carefully traversing the ship to her current destination. She didn’t want the others to know she was here, but at the same time, Hera wasn’t all she could leave with. Other Eights memories could provide tactical advantage for Galactica. Anything of military value would help justify her personal reasons for doing this.
It occurred to her that it hadn’t even crossed her mind whether she was going in the wrong direction on her way through the hallways. In a way it irked her, having left this life behind a long time ago but moving throughout the base ship as though she’d never been away.
No, it didn’t matter. She knew where her loyalties lay now.
Eventually she arrived in the memory stream room. Stepping up to her model’s channel Athena’s hands delved confidently into the cold liquid. It felt like touching a live wire, the familiar but long absent rush of acceptance and access to intimate knowledge causing her to close her eyes. For a moment she allowed herself to simply drift in the data. Then, an image caught her eye. It wasn’t of strategic importance, in fact it had no military value useful now, but it was so unexpected she isolated the connection.
It was Gaeta, and these weren’t Boomer’s memories. She probed deeper. A different Eight from New Caprica, one with a mission.
“Oh my God,” Athena breathed. Her fingers were shaking with the knowledge she was absorbing. No one had mentioned this, not Gaeta, not her husband and she knew he’d debriefed him. A pang shot through her stomach but she didn’t pull away.
Over and over she reviewed the data, until she was certain of its authenticity. Then, after lingering on the image of a list of names hastily scrawled on wrinkled paper, she withdrew her hands from the data stream.
“Never thought I’d see you here again.”
She spun, instantly regretting her unarmed state as her hand uselessly drifted to where she’d normally keep her sidearm. The Eight whose memories she’d just attained stood in the entry way, leaning up along the wall.
Athena frowned, “Can’t say I’m glad to be back,” she replied dismissively, stepping away from the stream pool and stalking towards the entrance.
Her intention was to simply pass by Eight. Just being in the same room as her made Athena tense and angry. As much as she’d love to put a bullet between her eyes, knowing what she’d done, Hera was her first priority. She didn’t need to draw any more attention to herself than she already had.
Eight grabbed her arm with enough force to make her still. Athena eyed her challengingly, daring her. Instead of violence however, her sister’s gaze softened.
“Why did you do it? Leave us, betray us?” The way it was spoken was like Eight already had her own answer for the question but wanted to hear Athena’s side to confirm or deny it.
She squared her shoulders, yanking her arm out of Eight’s grasp.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you. Want to tell me why you manipulated one of my friends down on New Caprica?”
Whatever warmth existed in Eight’s eyes vanished, “We’re at war Sharon. And he’s not your friend, he’s the enemy.”
“And here I thought you were trying to help the humans by going to New Caprica.”
“That’s Boomer and Caprica’s wishful thinking. It’s not reality. Human beings and Cylons aren’t meant to live together. It will always be Cylon blood running through your veins. You’ll always be like us.”
Athena stiffened, “You’re wrong.” Her voice was nearly a growl, “I’m nothing like you. I make my own decisions; I don’t blindly follow Cavil’s rhetoric.”
The last part touched a nerve. Eight stepped back like she’d been struck.
“I make my own decisions too! I may be another soldier, Sharon, but I know what the right side of this war is. Everything I did on New Caprica was to help my people win this war and I did it because I wanted to.”
“Well, there's your answer for why I left. You're lucky Gaeta figured you out,” Athena turned fully until she was right in Eight’s face. “You’d better hope I never see you again or I’ll kill you myself.”
Pushing past the Eight, she started for the entryway again. To her relief, Eight didn’t speak or try to stop her.
***
Athena saw Gaeta shortly after returning to Galactica. She hadn’t wanted to leave Hera’s side by the infirmary bed but with Helo off duty she knew her daughter was safe. It was time to go back to work.
Things were still slightly disorganized after Kat’s death, everyone still getting used to their new shifts. Normally Racetrack would drop Raptor run reports off in CIC before heading down to the pilot barracks but she was covering Karl’s shift so he could see Hera. Hardly anyone was thrilled by her daughter’s return and fewer more went out of their way to make things easier for Helo and her. Athena was more than happy to drop off the reports for her.
People still paused to look at her when she entered CIC. Athena had grown used to it fast, accepted it. Head high, she strode over to the Dradis console where Gaeta was sitting, hunched over a chart and papers.
“Gaeta?” she asked.
He jumped a bit, back tensing. Both gestures were subtle enough that if Athena hadn’t been watching him intently, she’d have missed it. It must have been the sound of her voice, exactly like her sisters and suddenly she wished she’d been more formal and used his rank.
Gaeta paused before turning, relief washing over his features. Now that she knew, it was written all over his face: It's not her. His smile didn’t make it to his eyes. Athena was having a hard time doing the same. I’m not her, she thought, wishing she felt as certain of that fact as Gaeta looked.
She held out the charts, “Reports for CAP and this morning’s Raptor runs.”
“Thank you Lieutenant” This time the relief was in his voice as he reached for the charts, “Saved me a trip down to the pilot barracks.” He nearly spat the word out, like it was some forsaken place he’d be content never to visit. Athena’s eyebrows rose.
“I thought Racetrack brought these to you.”
Gaeta grimaced, “Well, she used to before I and…Captain Thrace got back from New Caprica.” Athena didn’t miss the way Kara’s name was uttered in a similar tone. She tilted her head, the pieces falling into place quickly.
Gaeta had come down to the barracks a few times, his body language guarded, almost scared. As if he expected to be lynched any minute and if the other rumors were true, he had good reason to. Helo never told her whether or not the hit squad actually existed. Now Athena had an ugly suspicion that it wasn’t just a rumor, and an even darker hunch as to who was probably on it.
She may not have ever been a target of vigilante justice yet but Athena knew what it felt like, feeling you couldn’t trust anyone on your own side. Respect swelled in her, Gaeta was obviously trying to put the experience out of his mind and thanklessly go back to work. Just as she had done time and time again.
Then it occurred to her that her hand had never let go of the charts and neither had Gaeta’s, making for a rather awkward moment. She smiled apologetically. “It’s no problem, Lieutenant.”
The use of his rank seemed to put Gaeta at ease. He cleared his voice. “Also, the Admiral’s going to want to you debriefed about Cylon memory sharing. So we can implement the appropriate changes to our security systems and tactical planning.”
She nodded, but didn’t leave just yet, seeing an opening, “Gaeta.” Athena kept her voice low. “You did a good job on New Caprica.”
Gaeta glanced up from the charts at her in surprise; that must be something he rarely heard. There was also a wariness she understood; he was waiting for the follow up, the “but” and the accusations that would come with it. Athena stepped closer, leaning in so only he would hear her next words.
“And what happened with the Eight. It wasn’t your fault.”
He pulled away from her quickly, face pale and barely disguised panic in his eyes. “I’ll send someone down when your debriefing is scheduled.”
“If you need to talk to someone about it-“
“I’ve really got to go over these charts you brought me.” Gaeta wasn’t looking at her anymore.
Athena knew a dismissal (though it sounded more like a plea) when she heard one, “Thank you Lieutenant.” She left without another word, her heart thudding wildly against her chest.
***
She didn’t think of New Caprica or the Eight for a while after that. Once she had Hera back, all her focus fell on her. On having her child in her arms without it being a projection or a fleeting nightmare. No, she wasn’t like them. She was a mother.
While Felix Gaeta was a friend, one of the few people Athena could call a friend to herself and not just her husband, he’d never taken her up on the offer to talk and she wasn’t sure she wanted to press him on it. The way Eight had so skillfully played off his memories and feelings for Boomer brought uncomfortable thoughts of her own first interactions with Karl. She put it out of her mind.
Until the day Helo stormed in their quarters, fell back on the bed and put his head in his hands. Athena had just laid Hera down for a nap.
“Hey.” She sat beside him, placing a tender hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Helo sighed. “It’s Felix.”
“What about him? Is he hurt?”
“No but Baltar is, thanks to him. Felix stabbed him with a pen.”
“Felix Gaeta?”
“Yeah,” Helo shook his head, “I can hardly believe it too. Tigh called me because he thought Felix would talk to me but he won’t say a word.”
“Wait, what did Baltar do to him? There’s no way it wasn’t provoked.” Violence like that was so far out of Gaeta’s nature, there was no way it wasn’t provoked in some manner.
“That’s what Tigh wanted me to find out. He said there were worse things than being a traitor,” Athena stiffened, an empty feeling in her gut. “He whispered something in Felix’s ear. Then Felix stabbed him.”
“But he didn’t kill him.”
“No,” Helo laid all the way back, staring at the ceiling. “No he didn’t.”
“That’s too bad.” Athena held a hand up, already sensing her husband’s inevitable protest. “ I don’t want to start a fight. They didn’t put him in the brig, did they?”
This time Helo’s words were angry. “No, but they wanted to. Adama and Roslin at least, Tigh and Cottle talked them out of it. He’s in an isolated infirmary room.”
Athena lay back beside Helo, taking one of his hands and threading her fingers through his. He squeezed them tightly. “It just looked like things were getting better for him.” He turned on his side to better face her. “He’s been seeing that communications officer, actually managed to pick a good guy for once. A few weeks ago he was smiling, Sharon, a real smile, and now this…”
“Look, we both know Gaeta’s stronger than everyone thinks.” she assured him, using her free hand to lightly brush his face, “He’s made it through worse than this.”
“You didn’t see him, Sharon. The way he looked…”
“Maybe I should.”
Helo wasn’t quick enough to cover his doubtful expression. “You think he’ll talk to you? Dee couldn’t even get him to open up.”
Athena hardened her face, thinking of the Eight.
“Yeah,” she said. “He'll talk to me.”
***
If it had been anyone else, even knowing what she knew, Athena never would have done this. She may be wearing a Colonial uniform now but very few people accepted it out of anything but military duty, fewer still thought she’d earned it. Things were all right so far, there was no way she would risk frakking it up.
But Gaeta got it, understood she wasn’t just another Eight identical to all the rest. He was her friend.
Ishay led her to one of the few actual infirmary rooms, with a door rather than a privacy curtain. She whispered, “He’s just woken up from another sedation” before leaving.
He was sitting up in the bed, hands holding fistfuls of the white sheets. There was a bruise to the left side of his face and his eyes were red rimmed. Athena almost considered turning and leaving.
Any other Eight would have done that.
Instead, dragging a chair with her, she sat beside him. “Helo told me what happened. It’s too bad you didn’t have your gun.”
For the first time since she’d entered Gaeta acknowledged her presence, turning towards her in surprise. Athena could only imagine the half-hearted reprimands he’d probably already heard. She doubted though, that anyone higher up in the chain of command actually wanted Baltar to live. His death would have solved a lot of problems.
Even though Gaeta was looking at her now, he still didn’t speak. So she continued, “I heard what he said to you. You’re not a traitor.” Athena paused, and then realized there was really no good way of going about the next part. “You shouldn’t have trusted her like you did but she killed those people, not you.”
Gaeta’s eyes widened, reminding her of the look he’d given her that day in CIC. He turned away, staring straight forward at the door. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
It was a lie, they both knew that but it bothered Athena that Gaeta sounded like he actually believed it, or was trying hard to convince himself of it. She pressed on.
“You made a mistake, you trusted her too much. But there’s a reason you made it with her, another Eight. I know, I’ve been there with Helo. She used Boomer’s memories; she used what she knew about you. That you’re one of the few humans that knows we’re not all the same even though we look the same. And she took advantage of that, she played off your weaknesses and your hope.”
“I-“
“I’ve seen her memories, Gaeta,” Athena cut him off, “You know I know what I’m talking about.”
There wasn’t another instant denial. Instead Gaeta made a gasp that sounded close to a sob. He ran his hands through his hair. Watching him, Athena shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
“I didn’t know,” he murmured weakly, wrapping his arms around himself, “I didn’t know.”
She frowned, folding her arms. “Maybe you suspected but you didn’t know for sure.”
“There was nothing to suspect.”
“Gaeta, Felix.” Her hand fell on his knee. He flinched but Athena didn’t pull away, even though she wanted to. Why was he still doing that? She wasn’t her. “You know that’s not true. There were people you couldn’t find. Because they didn’t all make it out, she killed most of them.”
Gaeta’s head shook furiously. “No, no, she wouldn’t do that.” He shut his eyes tightly. Athena had the feeling that if he opened them and saw her, he might actually break down. “She was helping me.”
“No, Felix she wasn’t. I can hear it in your voice.” Athena’s voice hardened. Despite her best efforts, she was growing impatient. “I know, you suspected. She did too, that’s why she made sure you saw some of them.”
“It’s not true.”
“Felix!” Her voice rose, almost in a yell. “Why are you lying to yourself?”
That was the final straw; his hands pushed hers off his knee. “Get out!”
Athena sat back in her chair, hugely disappointed.
When she didn’t move, Gaeta whispered, “Sharon, please.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, tipping her head back. This was never going work, not now, not today. He wasn’t ready to face the truth of what had happened.
Athena stood up, pushing the chair back against the wall. She spared him one last glance as she opened the door.
This place was a haven but it could also be a prison, with or without you being in the brig. And Athena knew from experience, no one was going to start unlocking the gates and chains until you yourself decided not to stay behind the bars forever.
You had to start pulling yourself out before anyone would think to offer a hand.
She hoped Gaeta would realize that before it was too late.