#9 - The Ghost at Dawn's House (Chapters 1-3)
Someone just did the book I was planning on snarking (Mallory and the Dream Horse), so I'll do another personal favorite to add to the variety :)
From Dibbly-Fresh:
One of my babysitters totally had a shirt like that, it's so late 80s/early 90s. And once again, Dawn's hair is neither white-blonde (well, up by her head it is) or waist-length. My biggest issue? They're standing in front of a staircase going up, while THE SECRET PASSAGE LEADS DOWN! It can't just be the angle, because that would make for one trippy cover (Sharon was the illustrator?). Nice going, Hodges.
This is an important book in BSC history - we're not only introduced to the Secret Passage, but also the Mary Sues of the BSCverse known as the Perkins family.
Chapter 1:
A BSC book that doesn't start with dialogue is hardly a BSC book at all. This one starts with shrieks of "Aughhh!" (Is someone throwing up?), and talk of disgusting tans (is it being used as a compliment here? Like how distant is?) and how Dawn's hair is blonder than before (though the cover doesn't really help with that). The BSC is back together after two weeks (*SOB*) apart. Geez, the way they talk about the two weeks apart in this one and the previous one (Boy-Crazy Stacey), you'd think they were spending two YEARS apart! If they acted like this for two weeks, I wonder why they weren't sobbing and prostrate on the floor when Dawn moved away.
So, to recap, Dawn and Jeff went to CA, the Kishis went to a resort in NH, Mary Anne and Stacey were Mother's Helpers for the Pikes in Sea City and that story was given to us in another favorite of mine, Boy-Crazy Stacey. And Kristy stayed in Stoneybrook. I think Watson the Millionaire's excuse was he wanted the family to have some bonding time. Couldn't they have had some bonding time anywhere? Maybe he's just cheap.
Dawn describes their trip to CA a bit - the flight attendant on the airplane gave them free headphones, they *gasp* watched a movie that actually was from the time the book was written (1988)! They watched European Vacation with Chevy Chase. Oh, and Jeff collected desserts from the people around them who didn't want theirs. Are airline desserts really that great? I haven't been on a plane in 4 years, and I barely remember what I got. Oh, and Jeff also collected all the condiment packets/moist towelettes/instant coffee and stashed it in a barf bag and brought it home. Maybe he'll use the sugar on Dawn like pepper spray. It would have the same effect.
Dawn says Jack went overboard when they went to visit and really acted like Watson the Millionaire a Disneyland Daddy, totally indulging them. I've never heard that term anywhere else but in BSC books.
Anyway...oh boy, we're getting Chapter 2 stuff and we're only three pages in! I'll just sift through the filler and pull out the intersting parts. Claudia's listed in the Stoneybrook directory as Kishi C. And she's looked through to find her name, but never has because she's looking under the Ke's, as she's under the impression she spells her last name "Keyshee."
Uh...Kristy takes the record book and opens it up. What, she's usurping Mary Anne's job? She also wants everyone to talk about their babysitting experiences so they can delve even more into the saga known as the lives of their clients. The BSC must know everything, dammit, EVERYTHING!
Not only is this the intro to the Secret Passage, and the Perfect Perkinses, it's also the first appearance of Claudia's hollow book! In this one, she's hiding a bag of Hershey's kisses in it. Geez, in August, I hope those don't get all melty and gooey. Claudia says she bought it at a flea market, along with a dragon's head ring. As she's talking, she gets an "AHEM!" from Kristy. Claudia, you know you're not supposed to talk about anything but babysitting and how amazing Kristy and her ideas are at BSC meetings! 50 lashes and an hour in the stocks for you! Claudia quickly passes out the candy and gives Stacey and Dawn crackers. Well, at least this time it isn't pretzels.
Mary and Stacey are the first to give their story, and Dawn says she's a bit jealous over the fact that Stacey and Mary Anne seem to have bonded. THESE GIRLS ARE SO FUCKING INSECURE! Please, Mary Anne is still your best friend, and I thought you were all supposed to be BFF! Geez Dawn, when did you turn into Kristy? Now it looked as if Mary Anne and Stacey shared something - something the rest of weren't a part of. You mean Stacey taught Mary Anne how to french kiss and they practiced on each other? Don't worry, BSC - you'll all get your turn.
The BSC shares some lolz over Claire being silly (still) and Vanessa rhyming everything (still), and Byron's afraid of the water (no laughs over that). Mary Anne mentions that Nicky and the triplets don't get along, he wants to always do stuff with them, they think he's stupid and babyish. Wonder why she mentions this...could it be....FORESHADOWING?!
For really on top of everything babysitters, they don't discuss this and Stacey goes right to asking Dawn about CA since she's never been there. Give it a few more books and super specials, and the questionable lottery win, and then you'll get to go, Stacey! Dawn says she babysat a bit for Clover and Daffodil, whose parents were hippies, or as Dawn calls them, flower children. She doesn't know what that means, but Kristy hoots "It must mean you have to name your children after flowers!" and everyone cracks up over this. LOLZ! Hippies are so wacky! And Kristy...ever hear of the names Rose, or Violet, or Lily? By your definition, are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner hippies? Dumbass.
Did AMM know any hippies, or is she just basing the Austins (and other people Dawn knows in CA) on the stereotype that all hippies act like they just got back from Woodstock? I cringe when I read the scene in Dawn's Portrait when she meets the Winslows for the first time.
Anyway, after they finish lollerskating over how funny hippies are, Dawn says the Austin kids cried when she left because they thought she was staying for good (give it 79 more books, she'll be back for good!) and Mary Anne looks like she's about to cry at that (of course). Before we're hit with the Niagara Falls of tears, it's Claudia's turn! She said she babysat for one kid while at the resort. Um, girls, VACATION! Vacation = no work, relaxing, no babysitting! WHY THE HELL DO THEY ALWAYS END UP BABYSITTING WHEN THEY'RE ON VACATION!?!? You'd think they would want some time off! In the BSC, there's never time off. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...
Kristy rubs it in everyone's faces that she had some interesting jobs while they were away. Love Nest door guard for the Pikes? A drug runner for Sharon? Oh wait, she means babysitting. Yes, this is the book where we first meet those adorable, well-behaved, intelligent, talented, practically perfect in every way Perkinses! So skip over all the stuff we know about Elizabeth marrying Watson the Millionaire...lol Dawn says it's a problem that they have to pay Charlie to drive Kristy to meetings. It's a problem paying him 50 cents? Was that a ton of money back in 1988? I wouldn't know, I was barely two years old (and a little advanced, but certainly not as much as Gabbie!). And, besides, how else would Charlie get his alone time with Janine if he didn't have a reason to be over there in the first place?
Kristy admits sitting for them was weird, rightfully so, since they moved into her old house. Mrs. Perkins is great, Myriah's really smart, she's a Renaissance woman (girl?) and takes tons of lessons, Gabbie's really cute and calls people by their full names and says cute things like "toshe me up!", Myriah was the one who reunited the Spice Girls and the New Kids on the Block, the others will really like sitting for them!
Speaking of that...how did the BSC run if Kristy was the only one around? Did people call Watson the Millionaire's place? Did Kristy bask in the glow of knowing that she was the only competent babysitter in Stoneybrook available?
Chapter 2:
Dawn starts out by comparing she and Sharon to Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple. Yes, kind of strange she'd know about the play/tv show, but I was obsessed with The Odd Couple when the reruns were on Nick at Nite...and I was Jeff's age at the time. My favorite episode is when Felix redecorates the apartment all modern and gets hand-shaped chairs and a special one shaped like a potato chip for Oscar.
But while Sharon isn't a slob like Oscar (I beg to differ), she's hardcore absent-minded (which I don't remember Oscar being) and a total pothead. Dawn also claims she's neat...yeah, that changes later on. Though I guess anyone's a slob when they're living with Richard and Mary Anne, the king and princess of neat and tidyness. At this point, Dawn doesn't think Sharon and Richard will end up together because she's too busy working. Shake a leg, you two matchmakers!
This is also the book with the hedgeclippers in the living room. Was Sharon trying to mow the carpet?
Dawn runs out into the barn to look for Jeff to help her with dinner and while she's wondering if people have died there (as you do), Jeff jumps out and scares her (I love Jeff. He has his annoying moments, but he also has moments where he's more realistic and mature than the entire BSC). They make a dinner of salad with cottage cheese, pineapple, peaches, and coconut topping (which sounds really good - and I don't even like cottage cheese!) and heat up a vegetable casserole, which they always seem to eat in earlier books, much like how they're always eating three-cheese macaroni in later books. In this book, they're just health food nuts, not militant vegetarians.
And Dawn, not everybody was vertically challenged in the late 18th century. For example, Alexander Hamilton was considered "average height" and he was about 5'7", which I'm pretty sure is around the same average height for men now. And look at Thomas Jefferson and George Washington - both over six feet tall. Though one thing I did notice when I toured John Adams's house two years ago...the doorways and ceilings in there are low. Didn't affect me since I'm pretty short, but my first thought was "Dawn was right!" But I digress.
She's also convinced the house has a secret passage and Claudia lent her a Nancy Drew book, The Hidden Staircase, which put the idea in her head. Holy foreshadowing, Batman!
Sharon appears, startling Dawn yet again. For someone who reads a lot of ghost stories, she's on edge a lot! Sharon takes off her glasses and places them in an empty butter dish (empty because she used it all to grease the driveway last time she was high I'm guessing) and they go outside to have dinner with Jeff. But have to go inside right afterwards because it starts thunderstorming! D'oh!
So what does Dawn do at night when there's a thunderstorm outside? Why, read only the hottest (she says she had her name on the waiting list for it) ghost story book in Stoneybrook! It's called Ghosts and Spooks, Chills and Thrills: Stories NOT to Be Read After Dark. No, it's not a real book. I've never come across a book with a title as absurd as that, with the exception of something like Stories to Scare You Silly! and the sequel Even More Stories to Scare You Silly! Anyway, as Dawn's reading "The Hand of the Witch," the lights flicker and she freaks out and thinks there's poltergeists in the house. I'd post a youtube video example of a possessed house, but the last time I watched one of those, I scared myself silly. I'm a Mary Anne when it comes to stuff like this :(
Window rattles (because, you know, it's windy outside) and then she hears a tap on the wall and she screams bloody murder. Sharon comes in and shows some sensibility by calming Dawn down. Houses moan when they settle, it's windy out, of course the electricity's flickering in their old house. She tells Dawn to put the book away and go to bed and she leaves to go back to her Vanilla Fudge album and secret stash. Dawn immediately switches some lights on (when did Dawn become such a wuss?) and it takes her hours to fall asleep because she thinks she hears someone moaning. It's probably Charlie and Janine in the Secret Passage.
Chapter 3:
The next morning, it's still rainy, and Dawn has a sitting job for the Barretts. Surprisingly, there's no reference to how OMG DROP DEAD GORGEOUS AND BEAUTIFUL Mrs. Barrett is. Though Dawn does slip on the grass as she's leaving and Buddy tells her "Have a nice trip, Dawn! See ya next fall!" I blame the tv that family watches.
After she goes back home, Dawn decides what's the best thing to do to pass the time on a rainy afternoon? No, not organize the neighborhood kids to perform a rendition of Annie, this is an early book, things aren't as crazy! She calls up the rest of the BSC to look for a secret passage in the house! Mary Anne says Stacey's mom can drive them all over...nice on giving Charlie a break, but bad for Maureen for having to drive all around Stoneybrook to pick up everybody!
So Dawn tells them they need to be "scientific" about it all and gets an *eyeroll* from Kristy, either because that sounded dumb, or she's bitter that someone else is taking charge. Only Kristy can be the leader, that's rule #4 of the BSC Handbook! Dawn tells them they need to tap on the walls and Claudia adds in her input, since she's read more mysteries (it's the only other thing she's ever read heh). Claudia wants them to basically grope the walls to look for any springs or catches that'll pop out and shine a flashlight on them too.
Dawn suggests they split up and Mary Anne immediately freaks out. Hey, she's got a reason to worry! Whenever someone says "split up!" in a haunted house, either someone gets murdered, or (in the case of Scooby Doo), the monster appears! Either way, it spells doom for Mary Anne. So it's split into teams of two and three. Dawn offers to take Mary Anne upstairs and before Kristy can rip her to shreds for claiming Mary Anne and leaving her with the Living Barbie Doll and a girl who thinks Peter Pan Peanut Butter is made from Peter Pan's remains, Claudia interrupts and asks if they're searching the basement and attic. *cue scary music*
Dawn is wary because of another ghost story she read called "Things Unseen" and as she tells it, a gust of wind blows the curtains into Mary Anne's face, making her shriek (LOL). Before Dawn can finish, Miss Fraidy Pants doesn't want to hear the rest and also refuses to wait out in the hallway alone (good lord!) so Stacey goes with her. Dawn finishes the story and everyone screams. What could the ending have been that made everyone scream? Stoneybrook's tofu supply was found to be tainted with beef? All the boxes of Oreos in the grocery store are empty? Another better, more reliable, older, prettier babysitting club was taking away all the clients? We never find out.
Kristy tells the two scaredy cats (Stacey and Mary Anne) to search downstairs where it's less scary, since Jeff is there watching tv while the three brave ones (yeah right) search upstairs. Kristy is still acting all surprised and "bitch please" that Dawn is the one in charge. Um, it's her house and her idea. Control freak. They start in Jeff's room and Kristy remarks that her brothers would kill her if she searched their rooms. Hey, it's never stopped Karen. And I don't even want to think about what Charlie's hiding in his room.
They find nothing in Jeff's room except for some comic books under his bed, so they head into Dawn's room next. And, what do you know - Dawn hears a hollow noise behind one of the walls. But Claudia considers it a false alarm just because she happens to find no springs or anything that pops out. Why didn't you search it more than that? This was one thing that bugged me when I read it for the first time too.
Anyway, after that, Kristy declares they should search the attic since she's got nerves of steel. Claudia and Dawn protest, but Kristy says that ghost stuff is dumb, and since she's the leader ALWAYS, they have to follow her. with the casting of a brainwashing spellThey head up to the attic, but wimp out and climb back down, where Mary Anne and Stacey scare them.
Stacey and Mary Anne say they haven't found anything either, and they split up again. What's the most logical thing to do? Get them back! This is WAR, dammit! I love how Dawn always thinks that the best way to get back at Mary Anne is scare the shit out of her...doesn't she do the same thing in Dawn's Wicked Stepsister too? Dawn remembers there's a heating vent in her mom's room that leads down to the den. So they move aside the water pipe, and moan into it and say spooky things, and sure enough, you can hear shrieking downstairs. Do Stacey and Mary Anne seriously think it's a ghost, or are they too dense to think "Hey wait...we just scared them, they're probably getting us back!" Ugh. Well, this stops right away when a green hand touches Dawn and when all three girls spin around, We were gazing into the green face of a deformed, one-eyed monster.
Get your heads out of the gutter!
Once again, Jeff proves how awesome he can be and freaks the shit out of the girls. Nice going, Jeff!
Coming up in the next installment, we're introduced to the Perfect Perkinses, Nicky's neglected by his brothers, and Dawn discovers a Secret Passage! (In the house, in the house)
From Dibbly-Fresh:
One of my babysitters totally had a shirt like that, it's so late 80s/early 90s. And once again, Dawn's hair is neither white-blonde (well, up by her head it is) or waist-length. My biggest issue? They're standing in front of a staircase going up, while THE SECRET PASSAGE LEADS DOWN! It can't just be the angle, because that would make for one trippy cover (Sharon was the illustrator?). Nice going, Hodges.
This is an important book in BSC history - we're not only introduced to the Secret Passage, but also the Mary Sues of the BSCverse known as the Perkins family.
Chapter 1:
A BSC book that doesn't start with dialogue is hardly a BSC book at all. This one starts with shrieks of "Aughhh!" (Is someone throwing up?), and talk of disgusting tans (is it being used as a compliment here? Like how distant is?) and how Dawn's hair is blonder than before (though the cover doesn't really help with that). The BSC is back together after two weeks (*SOB*) apart. Geez, the way they talk about the two weeks apart in this one and the previous one (Boy-Crazy Stacey), you'd think they were spending two YEARS apart! If they acted like this for two weeks, I wonder why they weren't sobbing and prostrate on the floor when Dawn moved away.
So, to recap, Dawn and Jeff went to CA, the Kishis went to a resort in NH, Mary Anne and Stacey were Mother's Helpers for the Pikes in Sea City and that story was given to us in another favorite of mine, Boy-Crazy Stacey. And Kristy stayed in Stoneybrook. I think Watson the Millionaire's excuse was he wanted the family to have some bonding time. Couldn't they have had some bonding time anywhere? Maybe he's just cheap.
Dawn describes their trip to CA a bit - the flight attendant on the airplane gave them free headphones, they *gasp* watched a movie that actually was from the time the book was written (1988)! They watched European Vacation with Chevy Chase. Oh, and Jeff collected desserts from the people around them who didn't want theirs. Are airline desserts really that great? I haven't been on a plane in 4 years, and I barely remember what I got. Oh, and Jeff also collected all the condiment packets/moist towelettes/instant coffee and stashed it in a barf bag and brought it home. Maybe he'll use the sugar on Dawn like pepper spray. It would have the same effect.
Dawn says Jack went overboard when they went to visit and really acted like Watson the Millionaire a Disneyland Daddy, totally indulging them. I've never heard that term anywhere else but in BSC books.
Anyway...oh boy, we're getting Chapter 2 stuff and we're only three pages in! I'll just sift through the filler and pull out the intersting parts. Claudia's listed in the Stoneybrook directory as Kishi C. And she's looked through to find her name, but never has because she's looking under the Ke's, as she's under the impression she spells her last name "Keyshee."
Uh...Kristy takes the record book and opens it up. What, she's usurping Mary Anne's job? She also wants everyone to talk about their babysitting experiences so they can delve even more into the saga known as the lives of their clients. The BSC must know everything, dammit, EVERYTHING!
Not only is this the intro to the Secret Passage, and the Perfect Perkinses, it's also the first appearance of Claudia's hollow book! In this one, she's hiding a bag of Hershey's kisses in it. Geez, in August, I hope those don't get all melty and gooey. Claudia says she bought it at a flea market, along with a dragon's head ring. As she's talking, she gets an "AHEM!" from Kristy. Claudia, you know you're not supposed to talk about anything but babysitting and how amazing Kristy and her ideas are at BSC meetings! 50 lashes and an hour in the stocks for you! Claudia quickly passes out the candy and gives Stacey and Dawn crackers. Well, at least this time it isn't pretzels.
Mary and Stacey are the first to give their story, and Dawn says she's a bit jealous over the fact that Stacey and Mary Anne seem to have bonded. THESE GIRLS ARE SO FUCKING INSECURE! Please, Mary Anne is still your best friend, and I thought you were all supposed to be BFF! Geez Dawn, when did you turn into Kristy? Now it looked as if Mary Anne and Stacey shared something - something the rest of weren't a part of. You mean Stacey taught Mary Anne how to french kiss and they practiced on each other? Don't worry, BSC - you'll all get your turn.
The BSC shares some lolz over Claire being silly (still) and Vanessa rhyming everything (still), and Byron's afraid of the water (no laughs over that). Mary Anne mentions that Nicky and the triplets don't get along, he wants to always do stuff with them, they think he's stupid and babyish. Wonder why she mentions this...could it be....FORESHADOWING?!
For really on top of everything babysitters, they don't discuss this and Stacey goes right to asking Dawn about CA since she's never been there. Give it a few more books and super specials, and the questionable lottery win, and then you'll get to go, Stacey! Dawn says she babysat a bit for Clover and Daffodil, whose parents were hippies, or as Dawn calls them, flower children. She doesn't know what that means, but Kristy hoots "It must mean you have to name your children after flowers!" and everyone cracks up over this. LOLZ! Hippies are so wacky! And Kristy...ever hear of the names Rose, or Violet, or Lily? By your definition, are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner hippies? Dumbass.
Did AMM know any hippies, or is she just basing the Austins (and other people Dawn knows in CA) on the stereotype that all hippies act like they just got back from Woodstock? I cringe when I read the scene in Dawn's Portrait when she meets the Winslows for the first time.
Anyway, after they finish lollerskating over how funny hippies are, Dawn says the Austin kids cried when she left because they thought she was staying for good (give it 79 more books, she'll be back for good!) and Mary Anne looks like she's about to cry at that (of course). Before we're hit with the Niagara Falls of tears, it's Claudia's turn! She said she babysat for one kid while at the resort. Um, girls, VACATION! Vacation = no work, relaxing, no babysitting! WHY THE HELL DO THEY ALWAYS END UP BABYSITTING WHEN THEY'RE ON VACATION!?!? You'd think they would want some time off! In the BSC, there's never time off. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...
Kristy rubs it in everyone's faces that she had some interesting jobs while they were away. Love Nest door guard for the Pikes? A drug runner for Sharon? Oh wait, she means babysitting. Yes, this is the book where we first meet those adorable, well-behaved, intelligent, talented, practically perfect in every way Perkinses! So skip over all the stuff we know about Elizabeth marrying Watson the Millionaire...lol Dawn says it's a problem that they have to pay Charlie to drive Kristy to meetings. It's a problem paying him 50 cents? Was that a ton of money back in 1988? I wouldn't know, I was barely two years old (and a little advanced, but certainly not as much as Gabbie!). And, besides, how else would Charlie get his alone time with Janine if he didn't have a reason to be over there in the first place?
Kristy admits sitting for them was weird, rightfully so, since they moved into her old house. Mrs. Perkins is great, Myriah's really smart, she's a Renaissance woman (girl?) and takes tons of lessons, Gabbie's really cute and calls people by their full names and says cute things like "toshe me up!", Myriah was the one who reunited the Spice Girls and the New Kids on the Block, the others will really like sitting for them!
Speaking of that...how did the BSC run if Kristy was the only one around? Did people call Watson the Millionaire's place? Did Kristy bask in the glow of knowing that she was the only competent babysitter in Stoneybrook available?
Chapter 2:
Dawn starts out by comparing she and Sharon to Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple. Yes, kind of strange she'd know about the play/tv show, but I was obsessed with The Odd Couple when the reruns were on Nick at Nite...and I was Jeff's age at the time. My favorite episode is when Felix redecorates the apartment all modern and gets hand-shaped chairs and a special one shaped like a potato chip for Oscar.
But while Sharon isn't a slob like Oscar (I beg to differ), she's hardcore absent-minded (which I don't remember Oscar being) and a total pothead. Dawn also claims she's neat...yeah, that changes later on. Though I guess anyone's a slob when they're living with Richard and Mary Anne, the king and princess of neat and tidyness. At this point, Dawn doesn't think Sharon and Richard will end up together because she's too busy working. Shake a leg, you two matchmakers!
This is also the book with the hedgeclippers in the living room. Was Sharon trying to mow the carpet?
Dawn runs out into the barn to look for Jeff to help her with dinner and while she's wondering if people have died there (as you do), Jeff jumps out and scares her (I love Jeff. He has his annoying moments, but he also has moments where he's more realistic and mature than the entire BSC). They make a dinner of salad with cottage cheese, pineapple, peaches, and coconut topping (which sounds really good - and I don't even like cottage cheese!) and heat up a vegetable casserole, which they always seem to eat in earlier books, much like how they're always eating three-cheese macaroni in later books. In this book, they're just health food nuts, not militant vegetarians.
And Dawn, not everybody was vertically challenged in the late 18th century. For example, Alexander Hamilton was considered "average height" and he was about 5'7", which I'm pretty sure is around the same average height for men now. And look at Thomas Jefferson and George Washington - both over six feet tall. Though one thing I did notice when I toured John Adams's house two years ago...the doorways and ceilings in there are low. Didn't affect me since I'm pretty short, but my first thought was "Dawn was right!" But I digress.
She's also convinced the house has a secret passage and Claudia lent her a Nancy Drew book, The Hidden Staircase, which put the idea in her head. Holy foreshadowing, Batman!
Sharon appears, startling Dawn yet again. For someone who reads a lot of ghost stories, she's on edge a lot! Sharon takes off her glasses and places them in an empty butter dish (empty because she used it all to grease the driveway last time she was high I'm guessing) and they go outside to have dinner with Jeff. But have to go inside right afterwards because it starts thunderstorming! D'oh!
So what does Dawn do at night when there's a thunderstorm outside? Why, read only the hottest (she says she had her name on the waiting list for it) ghost story book in Stoneybrook! It's called Ghosts and Spooks, Chills and Thrills: Stories NOT to Be Read After Dark. No, it's not a real book. I've never come across a book with a title as absurd as that, with the exception of something like Stories to Scare You Silly! and the sequel Even More Stories to Scare You Silly! Anyway, as Dawn's reading "The Hand of the Witch," the lights flicker and she freaks out and thinks there's poltergeists in the house. I'd post a youtube video example of a possessed house, but the last time I watched one of those, I scared myself silly. I'm a Mary Anne when it comes to stuff like this :(
Window rattles (because, you know, it's windy outside) and then she hears a tap on the wall and she screams bloody murder. Sharon comes in and shows some sensibility by calming Dawn down. Houses moan when they settle, it's windy out, of course the electricity's flickering in their old house. She tells Dawn to put the book away and go to bed and she leaves to go back to her Vanilla Fudge album and secret stash. Dawn immediately switches some lights on (when did Dawn become such a wuss?) and it takes her hours to fall asleep because she thinks she hears someone moaning. It's probably Charlie and Janine in the Secret Passage.
Chapter 3:
The next morning, it's still rainy, and Dawn has a sitting job for the Barretts. Surprisingly, there's no reference to how OMG DROP DEAD GORGEOUS AND BEAUTIFUL Mrs. Barrett is. Though Dawn does slip on the grass as she's leaving and Buddy tells her "Have a nice trip, Dawn! See ya next fall!" I blame the tv that family watches.
After she goes back home, Dawn decides what's the best thing to do to pass the time on a rainy afternoon? No, not organize the neighborhood kids to perform a rendition of Annie, this is an early book, things aren't as crazy! She calls up the rest of the BSC to look for a secret passage in the house! Mary Anne says Stacey's mom can drive them all over...nice on giving Charlie a break, but bad for Maureen for having to drive all around Stoneybrook to pick up everybody!
So Dawn tells them they need to be "scientific" about it all and gets an *eyeroll* from Kristy, either because that sounded dumb, or she's bitter that someone else is taking charge. Only Kristy can be the leader, that's rule #4 of the BSC Handbook! Dawn tells them they need to tap on the walls and Claudia adds in her input, since she's read more mysteries (it's the only other thing she's ever read heh). Claudia wants them to basically grope the walls to look for any springs or catches that'll pop out and shine a flashlight on them too.
Dawn suggests they split up and Mary Anne immediately freaks out. Hey, she's got a reason to worry! Whenever someone says "split up!" in a haunted house, either someone gets murdered, or (in the case of Scooby Doo), the monster appears! Either way, it spells doom for Mary Anne. So it's split into teams of two and three. Dawn offers to take Mary Anne upstairs and before Kristy can rip her to shreds for claiming Mary Anne and leaving her with the Living Barbie Doll and a girl who thinks Peter Pan Peanut Butter is made from Peter Pan's remains, Claudia interrupts and asks if they're searching the basement and attic. *cue scary music*
Dawn is wary because of another ghost story she read called "Things Unseen" and as she tells it, a gust of wind blows the curtains into Mary Anne's face, making her shriek (LOL). Before Dawn can finish, Miss Fraidy Pants doesn't want to hear the rest and also refuses to wait out in the hallway alone (good lord!) so Stacey goes with her. Dawn finishes the story and everyone screams. What could the ending have been that made everyone scream? Stoneybrook's tofu supply was found to be tainted with beef? All the boxes of Oreos in the grocery store are empty? Another better, more reliable, older, prettier babysitting club was taking away all the clients? We never find out.
Kristy tells the two scaredy cats (Stacey and Mary Anne) to search downstairs where it's less scary, since Jeff is there watching tv while the three brave ones (yeah right) search upstairs. Kristy is still acting all surprised and "bitch please" that Dawn is the one in charge. Um, it's her house and her idea. Control freak. They start in Jeff's room and Kristy remarks that her brothers would kill her if she searched their rooms. Hey, it's never stopped Karen. And I don't even want to think about what Charlie's hiding in his room.
They find nothing in Jeff's room except for some comic books under his bed, so they head into Dawn's room next. And, what do you know - Dawn hears a hollow noise behind one of the walls. But Claudia considers it a false alarm just because she happens to find no springs or anything that pops out. Why didn't you search it more than that? This was one thing that bugged me when I read it for the first time too.
Anyway, after that, Kristy declares they should search the attic since she's got nerves of steel. Claudia and Dawn protest, but Kristy says that ghost stuff is dumb, and since she's the leader ALWAYS, they have to follow her. with the casting of a brainwashing spellThey head up to the attic, but wimp out and climb back down, where Mary Anne and Stacey scare them.
Stacey and Mary Anne say they haven't found anything either, and they split up again. What's the most logical thing to do? Get them back! This is WAR, dammit! I love how Dawn always thinks that the best way to get back at Mary Anne is scare the shit out of her...doesn't she do the same thing in Dawn's Wicked Stepsister too? Dawn remembers there's a heating vent in her mom's room that leads down to the den. So they move aside the water pipe, and moan into it and say spooky things, and sure enough, you can hear shrieking downstairs. Do Stacey and Mary Anne seriously think it's a ghost, or are they too dense to think "Hey wait...we just scared them, they're probably getting us back!" Ugh. Well, this stops right away when a green hand touches Dawn and when all three girls spin around, We were gazing into the green face of a deformed, one-eyed monster.
Get your heads out of the gutter!
Once again, Jeff proves how awesome he can be and freaks the shit out of the girls. Nice going, Jeff!
Coming up in the next installment, we're introduced to the Perfect Perkinses, Nicky's neglected by his brothers, and Dawn discovers a Secret Passage! (In the house, in the house)