SS# 2, Chapters 1-4
My first snark! Starting with the cover, courtesy of Dibbly-Fresh.com ...
Now, the first thing that comes to mind is those old school Nair comercials from the 80s...
Who wears short shorts? Apparently CT's favorite baby sitters do. Or, in this book, Camp Mohawks' favorite CITs and Junior Cits. Except Claudia... who's the wild dresser now? I have underwear with more coverage than what Jessi's got on. Dawn and Stacey are completely indistinguishable from each other, as I usually found them to be. NYC Sophistication vs California Casual. A debate for the ages, sort of like East Coast rap vs West Coast. But I'm getting off track here. There's Kristy, ever the tomboy in her blue hightops, Mary Anne still wearing pigtails, even though Richard is nowhere for miles (or, possibly, hiding in the bushes with his binoculars). Mallory...yeah, Mallory. It's tough being 11. Look how much fun they're having! Arms around each other in a kickline...those 2 campers behind them can't get over it!
Chapter 1 Starting off with a postcard from Stacey to her parents. Seriously, these girls must spend their entire vacas writing letters to people back home. She wrote this one on Saturday, which means she'd been away from home for a grand total of maybe 8 hours. We get a little background on how Stace is such a cool NYC girl, Central Park, Bloomies, blah blah blah. Diabetes, etc. Her mom cries when she leaves, Dad says Bloomie's will go broke without her. Whatever. Our tough NYC girl was too intimidated to talk anyone else on the bus, since the other campers all seemed to know each other, but no matter. Soon she's at Camp Mohawk, with the rest of the BSC and Char! Let the summer begin!
Chapter 2 Kristy, postcard to the ThomBrew clan at home. Apparently the BSC got the idea to go to camp after watching Meatballs at Dawn's house. Now, I understand that Sharon was too busy cooking up meth in the kitchen to pay too much attention to what Dawn's watching on TV, but what 11-13 year old really watches Meatballs? Or was I just that uncool at that age? Believe me, it's entirely possible. But anyway, Meatballs. If a movie about camp is funny, you just know camp itself has to be awesome. So the BSC decides to go for 2 weeks. Potential problem for the parents of Stoneybrook...who's going to watch the kids if K-ron and Krew is gone? It's not like they can take the kids to the grocery store with them. So before you know it, there are 23 kids off to camp. Sure. That could totally happen. 999,999 bottles of beer and one lost hat (*cough*Jackie Rodowsky*cough*) later, the bus arrives at camp.
Chapter 3 Claudia's postcard to Mimi. Aside from the spelling - "a hole day" - I can't really snark that. I always thought her relationship with Mimi was very sweet. We learn that the campers refer to the camp director, Miss Means, as "Old Meanie". Very original, and very hilarious. Claudia is in a cabin with Haley Braddock and Vanessa Pike who, thankfully, has not burst into prose yet. Claud can't wait to go to dances with the boy CITs...I smell a secret admirer in the distance!!!!!
Chapter 4 Jessi sends a postcard to Mama and Daddy, ending it "WBS, Jessi" which she tells her parents means "Write Back Soon". Cute. But really, I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but by the time her postcard gets to Stoneybrook, her parents have a chance to read it, then reply...she'll be home. Save yourself the 19 cents. Jessi's nervous, because she's only seen a few other black campers around. But she says she should be used to it, since she's the only black girl at SMS...and the only black girl at her dance school. Oh, did I mention Jessi's black? Cause she is. We learn that Mal and Jess begged the camp directors to let them be CITs with the following paragraph on their applications.
"I am a baby-sitter....I would very, very, very, very, very much like to be a CIT."
Very, very, very, very convincing. But the directors were very, very, very unmoved. All CITs have to be at least 13, so the director offers to let them be junior CITs...help out with younger campers, arts and crafts. For free. Well, not free, if you consider their parents had to pay to send them. Score. Jessi's bunkmates are named Mary, Mandi, Maureen, Mary (again) and Mal. Jessi's response "Wahhh! I'm the only one without a 'Ma' name, I'm going to stand out". That's why she'll stand out. Not because she's the only black girl, even though she is. Did I mention Jessi's black? Because she is. Anyway, the other girls don't really warm up to M-J, they're too mature for them. Mal gives Jessi an armband that she made announcing their status as Junior CITs, since they are the only ones at camp. Jess isn't so sure it's a good idea to broadcast that, but being the lemming that she is she puts the band on. For Mal's sake. Old Meanie has heard that Jessi is 'quite the dancer', so she asks her and Mal to put together a dance routine for the younger campers. Mal's a little nervous at first, but then she decides 'We can do this. We can do anything together'. Barf. The other girls in their cabin make fun of them, calling them the Bobbsey Twins. One of the girls points out that they don't look like twins at all...maybe because Jessi's black? Because she is, you know. BTW, Mal's response to this was my ENTIRE reason for deciding to snark this book. And I quote...
"I'll have you know that both sets of Bobbsey Twins were one boy and one girl," said Mal haughtily. "Bert and Nan, and Freddie and Flossie. How much can a boy and a girl look alike? We look more alike than they do." Mal crossed her arms and faced the other girls.
Oh, snap!!! Looks like she put them in their place! But wait...the other girls can't believe that Mal still READS the Bobbsey Twins. Jessi stands up for her BFF and says they both still read about the twins, but tells us that they've actually moved on to Nancy Drew.
Next up, Mary Anne cries, but Dawn's having a great day. Selfish bitch.
Now, the first thing that comes to mind is those old school Nair comercials from the 80s...
Who wears short shorts? Apparently CT's favorite baby sitters do. Or, in this book, Camp Mohawks' favorite CITs and Junior Cits. Except Claudia... who's the wild dresser now? I have underwear with more coverage than what Jessi's got on. Dawn and Stacey are completely indistinguishable from each other, as I usually found them to be. NYC Sophistication vs California Casual. A debate for the ages, sort of like East Coast rap vs West Coast. But I'm getting off track here. There's Kristy, ever the tomboy in her blue hightops, Mary Anne still wearing pigtails, even though Richard is nowhere for miles (or, possibly, hiding in the bushes with his binoculars). Mallory...yeah, Mallory. It's tough being 11. Look how much fun they're having! Arms around each other in a kickline...those 2 campers behind them can't get over it!
Chapter 1 Starting off with a postcard from Stacey to her parents. Seriously, these girls must spend their entire vacas writing letters to people back home. She wrote this one on Saturday, which means she'd been away from home for a grand total of maybe 8 hours. We get a little background on how Stace is such a cool NYC girl, Central Park, Bloomies, blah blah blah. Diabetes, etc. Her mom cries when she leaves, Dad says Bloomie's will go broke without her. Whatever. Our tough NYC girl was too intimidated to talk anyone else on the bus, since the other campers all seemed to know each other, but no matter. Soon she's at Camp Mohawk, with the rest of the BSC and Char! Let the summer begin!
Chapter 2 Kristy, postcard to the ThomBrew clan at home. Apparently the BSC got the idea to go to camp after watching Meatballs at Dawn's house. Now, I understand that Sharon was too busy cooking up meth in the kitchen to pay too much attention to what Dawn's watching on TV, but what 11-13 year old really watches Meatballs? Or was I just that uncool at that age? Believe me, it's entirely possible. But anyway, Meatballs. If a movie about camp is funny, you just know camp itself has to be awesome. So the BSC decides to go for 2 weeks. Potential problem for the parents of Stoneybrook...who's going to watch the kids if K-ron and Krew is gone? It's not like they can take the kids to the grocery store with them. So before you know it, there are 23 kids off to camp. Sure. That could totally happen. 999,999 bottles of beer and one lost hat (*cough*Jackie Rodowsky*cough*) later, the bus arrives at camp.
Chapter 3 Claudia's postcard to Mimi. Aside from the spelling - "a hole day" - I can't really snark that. I always thought her relationship with Mimi was very sweet. We learn that the campers refer to the camp director, Miss Means, as "Old Meanie". Very original, and very hilarious. Claudia is in a cabin with Haley Braddock and Vanessa Pike who, thankfully, has not burst into prose yet. Claud can't wait to go to dances with the boy CITs...I smell a secret admirer in the distance!!!!!
Chapter 4 Jessi sends a postcard to Mama and Daddy, ending it "WBS, Jessi" which she tells her parents means "Write Back Soon". Cute. But really, I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but by the time her postcard gets to Stoneybrook, her parents have a chance to read it, then reply...she'll be home. Save yourself the 19 cents. Jessi's nervous, because she's only seen a few other black campers around. But she says she should be used to it, since she's the only black girl at SMS...and the only black girl at her dance school. Oh, did I mention Jessi's black? Cause she is. We learn that Mal and Jess begged the camp directors to let them be CITs with the following paragraph on their applications.
"I am a baby-sitter....I would very, very, very, very, very much like to be a CIT."
Very, very, very, very convincing. But the directors were very, very, very unmoved. All CITs have to be at least 13, so the director offers to let them be junior CITs...help out with younger campers, arts and crafts. For free. Well, not free, if you consider their parents had to pay to send them. Score. Jessi's bunkmates are named Mary, Mandi, Maureen, Mary (again) and Mal. Jessi's response "Wahhh! I'm the only one without a 'Ma' name, I'm going to stand out". That's why she'll stand out. Not because she's the only black girl, even though she is. Did I mention Jessi's black? Because she is. Anyway, the other girls don't really warm up to M-J, they're too mature for them. Mal gives Jessi an armband that she made announcing their status as Junior CITs, since they are the only ones at camp. Jess isn't so sure it's a good idea to broadcast that, but being the lemming that she is she puts the band on. For Mal's sake. Old Meanie has heard that Jessi is 'quite the dancer', so she asks her and Mal to put together a dance routine for the younger campers. Mal's a little nervous at first, but then she decides 'We can do this. We can do anything together'. Barf. The other girls in their cabin make fun of them, calling them the Bobbsey Twins. One of the girls points out that they don't look like twins at all...maybe because Jessi's black? Because she is, you know. BTW, Mal's response to this was my ENTIRE reason for deciding to snark this book. And I quote...
"I'll have you know that both sets of Bobbsey Twins were one boy and one girl," said Mal haughtily. "Bert and Nan, and Freddie and Flossie. How much can a boy and a girl look alike? We look more alike than they do." Mal crossed her arms and faced the other girls.
Oh, snap!!! Looks like she put them in their place! But wait...the other girls can't believe that Mal still READS the Bobbsey Twins. Jessi stands up for her BFF and says they both still read about the twins, but tells us that they've actually moved on to Nancy Drew.
Next up, Mary Anne cries, but Dawn's having a great day. Selfish bitch.